Nilsi

Just chill out, there is nothing cursed here, your mind is just running wild, trying to make sense of that, which is beyond itself. These are all your minds interpretations and you can definitely find healthier ones if you try.

That's not what I'm pointing to. I'm quite confident that if you were to sit down with Schmachtenberger and really push it, he would agree with Leos "metaphysics" completely.

I'm confused by your definition of awake. If people like Wilber and Schmachtenberger are not awake, then nobody is. They obviously have had awakening/enlightenment experiences, but choose not to live from that place 24/7 and follow their dharma instead. I don't see how you could claim being awake (it seems like you implicitly do), if you don't allow for any dualistic activity in someone awake. EDIT: It seems to me you are advocating against narrative, and I definitely see how that could lead you to a more pure awakened state but I see it more as a preference. I myself enjoy the story and want to be fully engaged with it and that's just not possible from a state of pure solipsism.

I never felt any of this. I became a vegan through logic not emotions.

I definitely approach ethics more from an intellectual perspective and not so much from an emotional one. There is a case for both and they will not lead to the same conclusions. I also definitely lack in the empathy domain which may explain why I come to such conclusions

That's what I used to do, but that is exactly what I mean by slave morality. I see it as morally more wrong not to exercise ones power as best as one can. But it's a tricky one and I'm wrestling with this not only in regards to diet.

Im painfully aware of that and I always try to keep myself in check but I also feel like it is kinda silly that people are so uptight about these things. There is such a thing as development and some people are just more developed than others. Im not walking around thinking and talking like this but it is sometimes useful to remind myself that I just am more developed than then average person and with that come all kinds of moral and ethical problems and concerns.

Its just so hard for me to develop a genuine, intimate connection with another human. I have lots of friends and I regularly meet new people, but I cant seem to really connect with anyone. I can relate to people through music or philosophy or by doing activities together, but its just all so shallow. Im always unconsciously sabotaging myself by not being real with people and putting on an act, but there is just nothing there that feels authentic. How can I be myself, when there is just absolutely nothing there? I know it is possible. I keep dreaming and having visions about it - me and a beautiful girl, together alone, deeply at home with eachother and eternally in love. But how does one get there? I cant just snap my finger and get there. It feels like a distant planet, where we know humans could live, but we dont know how to get there. But it is there. Thats what makes it so painful. I have gotten quite used to being alone and I was always able to cope with it somehow, but really, I was always distracting myself in some way, be it working on my life purpose or seeking spiritually. I dont want to distract myself. I want to feel it, but its just killing me. I can go into the mystery of life so deeply and experience such profound levels of Love, but after a while, all I want, is to have someone to share that love with.

The sticking point with evolution is still, that there had to be something in the first place to evolve. This will never be able to be explained with any kind of theory.

Its obviously just a story but I find it to be one of the better ones Its a really sophisticated scientific theory on how reality unfolds, its not making any ontological claims as to how it got here in the first place. If you dont like the arrow of causation just replace it with intelligent design, its the same mechanism only the other way around lol. Of course in the end neither is better or more true.

Yellow can still fuck up badly with its grand narratives even if it integrates pre - post modernity in its worldview. Just look at Peterson or Putin. These people are clearly aware of systemic dynamics and different stages of human development but they still have a massive shadow and are lost in their perverted pursuit of reforming mankind.

Which one do you enjoy most? Pick that one.

I had alot of the same issues come up for me, it can be quite overwhelming when all this stuff happens so fast. Weed makes me go nuts aswell All I can tell you is keep going if you find the strength for it. Handle your addictions, make your body strong and healthy (eat the right shit, exercise, get good sleep...), make sure you have healthy relationships a stable income and a life purpose that brings you joy and meaning. You will have to face madness and death at some point in this work but on the other side of it lies unspeakable beauty and strength. Hang in there brother! In the end it will all have been worth it.

The biggest problem with therapists is that they have no incentive to actually "heal" you as that would lose them work and income, especially with alternative healers who are usually not getting their door run in by clients. Its the same with NGOs. If they actually did the thing they are supposed to do they would obsolete themselves. Im not saying they are consciously sabotaging the process but its just not a good setup at all. There is definitely benefits to working with one person and establishing a trustful and intimate relationship but I would honsetly set a limit of 10 sessions or something like that from the beginning, otherwise this will just create mutual dependence. In my experience there is also great benefit in working on trauma from different angles and paradigms instead of just sticking to one pet therapy, so you could just use the situation to try something new.

Very cool Keep the great mindset up!

That's the best thing you could come up with? This is about your life bro. Dream big!

Kinda. But in practice this is not really useful advice. I think the 10 Ox Herding Pictures should be a good orientation.

For met it was a gradual melting away of all these distinctions, questions and objections from the point that I had my first Love awakening to it being a permanent realisation. During that time i experienced all sorts of cliché mystical experiences and samdhis and shit like that but in the end the ordinary truly becomes the extraordinary.

Im currently trying to develop my social skills in particular with girls. I have spent the last 4 years mainly focused on pursuing truth and consciousness and thus spent most of my time in isolation, contemplating, meditating i.e. mostly "vertical" development. I have been starting to go out and socialize more, mainly in the context of social circles i.e. going to house partys and social gatherings. Im a quite flamboyant and gitty person and im definitely not shy or anxious around people but its quite hard for me to establish an authentic, sexual, man to woman frame. I usually end up creating a rather friendly, playful vibe with the girl and its kind of hard to come back from that or to take it in a direction that would lead to a sexual relationship. Its almost like im taking the sexual tension and energy and transmuting it into words and gestures that make me look more like some kind of excentric philosopher or movie director or whatever. People are definitely drawn to that but I dont want to be some kind of Freddy Mercury figure that people look up to or are entertained by. Its almost unbearable for me to hold all this tension and sexuality in my body in the interaction with the girl and not let it animate me creatively. So my question is, how do I show sexual intent and set a man to woman frame without overwhelming the girl with too much female energy that she does not know how to respond to or make sense of. EDIT: To make it even more explicit: How do I sexually escalate an interaction with a girl when she probably thinks im gay?

Ok fuck it, you found me out

My direct experience is that you're full of shit.

You are not conscious of Truth, so why don't you just stop playing these games?

Maybe you're right. I should take some more 5meo-DMT, I still havent completely fried all my common sense.

There is nothing worth giving input to here.