Nilsi

Embodiment. In Germany, we have the saying "aus sich herausfahren," which literally means to leave one’s body in the heat of an argument - and that’s exactly what it can feel like in intense conflict, and probably what you’re afraid of, unless you’re a psychopath or a schizo. Instead, try to stay grounded, centered, and confront the situation from that place. Peter Ralston’s Zen Body-Being is an excellent manual for embodying this state.

I must have posted this a dozen times already, but the way Ken Wilber frames this dilemma gets me every time.

I agree - same goes for the notion of GOD. I’ve had countless profound spiritual experiences, ego dissolutions, and deep contemplations in intensely mystical states. And yet, I’ve never felt the urge to interpret any of it as "GOD." I’ve had moments of "OMG, I AM GOD!" - but even then, I recognized it as just one particular rabbit hole my contemplation was leading me down, not some ultimate ground. And the only reason I went down that rabbit hole in the first place was because I had already formed a concept of GOD a priori and was wrestling with that idea in the moment. I understand why people do, but I don’t see the need to ground these experiences in that concept. The sheer inexplicability of what’s happening resists any fixed interpretation. "GOD" is, after all, a human construct - an attempt to pin down what ultimately exceeds conceptualization. That’s why I find Peter Ralston the most compelling among so-called mystics - he doesn’t settle for easy explanations. I hold that reality isn’t something to be "known" in a fixed sense. It can be experienced directly, even as absolute, but it can’t be captured by any single concept - not even GOD.

LOVE! And in a way that lets you actually contemplate your own undoing - unlike super strong psychedelics, which hit more like a nuclear blast to the ego. If some genie in a bottle gave me the chance to relive one experience, it’d be my first time doing MDMA with my buddies in the grimiest, sweatiest, most lawless techno dungeon imaginable.

I have no idea and definitely wouldn't call myself a good role model for responsible use. I probably would’ve just taken it without a second thought. If accuracy is your concern, ask Leo or some of the more experienced users about this.

WTF!

Sweet. There’s nothing quite like your first mushroom trip - except maybe your first MDMA trip. Stay safe and have fun!

This is such an epic troll. Imagine hundreds of people buying tickets for your DJ set, dressing up, getting lit - only for you to light some candles and proceed to play nearly an hour of classical music, weird field recordings, and random sound snippets. The funniest part is that people were still so rowdy the host had to intervene multiple times to get them to back off. lol

ChatGPT's new "deep research" mode is incredible. It can write you well-researched, in-depth essays on any topic you give it. It takes a couple of minutes to gather relevant insights, synthesize arguments, and structure them into a compelling piece, but the depth and coherence are unlike anything I’ve seen AI do before. It's included in the Pro plan, which costs $200 per month. But if you have the budget and you're serious about deep research and philosophy, it's definitely worth it.

Exile on Main St. is such an underappreciated record. The way it dismantles rock and roll from the inside out, turning it into a murky, feverish collage of drug-induced, orgiastic anthems to radical individual freedom, makes it feel almost proto-post-rock. It doesn’t affirm the mythos of rock stardom so much as it lets that myth collapse under its own weight. Instead of clarity or defiant swagger, the album gives us entropy, exhaustion, and excess pushed past the breaking point - like a record that got left out in the sun too long and started to melt. And yet, somehow, the Stones are held in the American consciousness as emblematic of rock’s golden age, as though their music were synonymous with some idealized vision of American civic religion. But Exile has more in common with French postmodernism than it does with red, white, and blue nostalgia. It doesn’t reinforce grand narratives - it fragments them, erodes them, and revels in their collapse. It doesn’t offer transcendence, just a decadent drift through excess and decay, a swamp of sound where nothing is fully solid or resolved. Which makes the fact that Trump plays the Stones at his rallies so much funnier. It’s a textbook case of Freudian displacement - the leaking of repressed desires through unconscious symbolic expression. Trump, the supposed champion of "law and order," blasting the ultimate record of dissolution and debauchery right before delivering a speech about restoring greatness? A man obsessed with control unknowingly drawn to a work of pure unraveling? The irony is almost too perfect. And of course, the Stones themselves knew what kind of guy he was - Keith Richards literally attacked Trump with a knife at one of their concerts in the '80s because he was being such an unbearable attention-seeking douchebag. Anyways, check out the record if you haven’t. It’s really good.

Canva to make it happen. Pinterest for inspiration.

Probably my favorite band atm:

I raise you Japanese Noise Rock: The music, by itself, is already pretty intense:

I once watched a documentary about a girl who had been severely neglected, along with about a dozen siblings. They all lived in their parents house, but the parents would only return every few months to restock food. In the meantime, the children were left to their own devices playing together, relieving themselves wherever they happened to be, and even eating grass and dirt to survive. She described her experience as an existence without individual identity, where she and her siblings functioned as a single, undifferentiated entity, immersed in filth and survival. It was a state of being that was almost psychedelic an altered consciousness born out of deprivation, where the boundaries of self dissolved into a collective, primal existence. In a twisted way, it had a kind of mystical quality, as if they were experiencing reality in a raw, pre-individualized form, stripped of social conditioning or personal agency. I think it was somewhere in this documentary:

Yesss! From one of my favorite albums ever. Though I do prefer the heavier cuts:

Not visual art, but Jorge Luis Borges’ short stories align well with your vision - especially The Circular Ruins, where a man dreams another into existence, only to realize he himself is being dreamed. You can read it here: The Circular Ruins – Jorge Luis Borges

I’ve been really into performance art lately, and this resonates with me. Many artists explore presence and stillness, but not in such a precise, scientific-spiritual way. Marina Abramović did something similar at MoMA, where she sat still all day, making eye contact with visitors: I might be open to funding a project like this down the line - if you're truly serious about it. However, it would require significant legal structuring, a strong commitment, and ideally, institutional backing on your end to make it worth considering.

Also, hanging out with rich people sounds cool and intriguing - until you actually do it and realize they’re some of the most insufferable people on earth, especially those born into wealth. Their aura of superiority and condescension is unbearable. All they care about is how well they were born and raised, their manners, and whatever is deemed "appropriate" in their family and social circles. They’re practically soulless. I can respect a self-made person, but even then, once wealth reaches a certain level, you can bet it’s just a narcissistic psychopath acting out unresolved childhood trauma.

It’s easier to focus on metaphysical matters when you’re not burdened by financial worries. Anything beyond covering your basic needs doesn’t enhance spirituality - it’s more likely to become a distraction, an end in itself that drains your time and energy from truly spiritual pursuits. I’m not saying don’t do it, just don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s some radical work. It’s not.

I love Osho, but the size of this book has always been a bit intimidating. Still, I’m really intrigued and will probably check it out sooner or later.