mojsterr

edging Edit: Also, masturbating only 1x/week AND THEN edging

Funny thing is that this what I wanted to do for myself. I put so much effort in spirituality and also I always played the nice guy in life, that I came to a halt and wanted to take back everything that I've missed in my younger years. I wanted to say fuck to spirituality and start being more dumb, selfish, and a jackass to people. Just to live through it. To open some hidden parts of me that I had been supressing. Well it's not easy. I don't really know if I want to be a jackass on purpose, but I do want to be a simple man who makes mistakes. Basically I just need to start always saying what I feel. But it's a long journey if you were always a people pleaser.

Downloading

If I made a playlist, it would be something like this:

The highest one that you are able to grasp at that certain time, is your current one.

Everyone's been mentioning this video. Tell me how to find it:)

I watched Leos videos for years now, but only checked the forum about 2 months ago. Should have done it earlier. People here are on a different level than the people around me. I know a lot of stuff, spiritually wise, from my own contemplation of life, but it's still awesome hearing perspectives from people here. And there's still a lot of stuff I don't know. Also, people here are more mature in communicating with one another. There's been a few times now where I've seen someone apologizing for something he was wrong about. Usually on online forums you just see people doubling down to infinity and there never comes to a conclusion on any topic whatsoever. And from people I thought were intelligent. I needed a change.

All my life I have been trying to become God. I have done psychedelics and pondered about enlightenment and just trying to get there. But I felt I missed out a lot on being human. I came to this world to be just that. To have human experience. So now I don't know anymore. I still meditate, but I'm not sure about wanting enlightenment anymore. I'd like to live a human life. There's a lot of materialistic things I'd like and materialistic experiences to have. I want to have fun while I'm here. And through this also get to know my self. I am God when I am 100% human. This is harder to achieve, since I have some issues about being open. But I want to achieve this, rather than some enlightenment. I really feel I wasted a big portion of my life seeking these things religiously. It just had some big appeal. But recently I came to believe I was making a mistake. Leo also says this in one of his videos - that you shouldn't pursue spirituality in the first part of life. Also Carl Jung said something similar. But on the other hand I know I couldn't have done it any other way. This was what was pulling me forward. I wanted to know what life is, why am I here. But now I got my answers. And I'm afraid I might be too late for a lot of things that I didn't experience like regular people did. And I have to learn how to be social again if I want some of the fun. And it's just overwhelming.

To me reincarnation is the only logical thing that CAN be. Our whole existence, the Universe... is energy flowing in and out of itself for all eternity. Energy can't be destroyed, it always IS. So how could it be that I exist only once in the whole of eternity and never again? It's not logical. I must have been "here" a trillion times before, in whatever shape and form, and by that logic, I will be "here" a trillion times more. It's a ride that never ends. It cannot stop existing. So it must go on forever.

"Are you a pony, because hey" OR Either you get a slap on the face immediately, or she starts laughing.

I made a mix some years ago that is a tribute to Mark Farina's Mushroom Jazz series, you two might like it while on the couch https://soundcloud.com/djalanford/alanford-mushroom-j

“If you only knew the magnificence of the 3, 6, and 9, then you would have a key to the universe.” Nikola Tesla I have no idea what this is about. So I'm waiting to reincarnate as him.

Only you exist in the whole wide Universe. All people is just you, talking to yourself.

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Instead of saying "I'm dumb" rather say "I'm not smart enough YET". Try to spin it around. That way you subconsciously push your self forward, to expand, instead of putting yourself down. Edit: I try not to put my attention to the negatives. I feel the same as you about myself, but I said I won't put up with this shit anymore, so I'm changing it around. It's a long process, but I'm getting there. Suddenly situations come when I come out as smart, and I feel good about myself. Or because of my positive actions I actually learn something that is needed of me, rather than passing the opportunity with saying "Oh I'm just dumb".

Since I have similar issues as you, it pains me to listen how you talk. I know you say it's just you self assesing yourself, but your words have tremendous power still. I would say start working on this and the world around you (and also you) will change. This is my whole life mission now. Perhaps it might not be the kind of answer you wanted to hear, but this is what I truly believe. Wayne Dyer says it way better than me:

I didn't read the whole topic yet, but do you also have low self-esteem? I have similar thougths about myself and it hurt my self-esteem very much. So I decided to work on that, rather than trying to be smarter. Also, what you think about, you attract. If you constantly feel you're slow/you will get taken advantage of/etc... Then those things will constantly be happening to you. You have to change you thought patterns. Relearn how you see yourself and always imagine how everyone sees you as strong, charismatic, unshakable... Really visualize it in your head until it becomes a part of you. This is what I am working now in my life. I found Neville Goddard and I try to apply the things I wish for through his teachings, for example.

I already meditate 1 hour a day. But this is the second time today I see you mentioning this yoga. I'd like to give it a go. Do I lose anything if I substitute my meditation practise with this yoga, or should just add this on top of the meditation?

I think you already know the answer. I would say "Quit", because otherwise you're just torturing yourself and throwing your life away for something you don't love.

Ask also on reddit in https://www.reddit.com/r/WeAreTheMusicMakers/ Or check around, people have asked this before. Much luck!

If your blog ever takes off (I hope it does), you can also make a transition to youtube by other people sketching together videos of what you wrote in text and share it like that. That way you won't have to be on camera and perhaps get money from views there, too. But I don't know how much they charge for this. Just a random thought.

When the police are after you.

Are you a mind reader

A friend of mine has been saying everything is going towards a digital currency. He mentioned the Great Reset and the Covid passports are precursors for that. They will make up an excuse that Covid is guilty for the inflation (or something like this) and that a new system is needed. He does not like the idea of a digital currency because that means we're closer and closer to a social credit score system.

I haven't watched the video, but have you seen Kenneth Copeland? Tell me that's not the face of a devil. You can't get more devilish than that. And people still don't see it. Yep, society is fucked.