mojsterr

I found out that I was constantly pushing away my distracting thoughts, even though everything I've ever read about meditation says to just let them be. I thought I understand this and this is what I was doing, but I was not. One day I had enough of this constant struggle and tried a different approach - when a new thought came I said I'm gonna view it as a child. I started looking at it as each thought that comes and demands my attention is a different child inside me that came to tell me something that IT thought was very very important. But it was only important for it, I had other plans. So I always imagine me as being in the middle of a room hundreds of children coming into my mental room (the empty space where I see myself in my mind) yelling "Heeey, look at me, I have something very important to tell you! You need to know this!". And to children, as we know, everything is important. So in my mind I was like a father or a mother who smilefully listens to his child (because children need to be heard) and then I say "That's great, I like very much that you told me this." - and I'm just really appreciative, so the child sees he was heard. And once he is heard, I see him happily not having anything else, since his goal of telling me has been reached, and goes aways or now just sits with me in that mental room and we sit in quiet together. After that is done, another thought comes - this is now a different child/person (whatever you feel it to be) - also having something very important - for him! I as a mother/father have heard them all, but I need to give my child the feeling that he is appreciated and heard. So I listen to him tell me what he came to say, and shower him with compassion (again - "How wonderful that this has happened to you, wow.") - and now that child is satisfied. Now I have two happy appreciated children in the same room besides me. They've exhausted what they had to say, now they just exist there with me, and we sit. Until the third child comes and the whole story repeats... The point is giving each and everyone your complete love and compassion. Every single one needs to be heard. That's why they come. And this was the first time I realized what it means to acknowledge your thoughts and just let them be. And I've really read this so many different times but I never trully understood it. And it's tricky, because you think you understand because it's not rocket science, right? Funny. So I needed to make this mental trick through this visualisation. Until then thoughts always came and my mind was like "Oh what now? Yeah ok that's nice, now please be quiet, I'm working on something imporatant here." I wasn't really agitated, but you understand - it was something not wanted. This was not letting it be, but me trying to quiet it down. And when you want to push something away, we know the harder it keeps coming back. So my focus was really not meditating but waiting when the new thought would come so I can shoo it away. I just thought that was meditation. In the end there were a lot of children in the room with me. Each one said it's thing and now satisfied and depleted of that energy, quietly sat down and was quietly enjoying it's space with me. Then perhaps some child that is already sitting there would have another just WONDERFUL idea he just had to tell me. And I would again smile and say "Oh really? Wow." And it was happy again and I was happy again. Since this is my view of a perfect parent, I wanted to be a perfect "parent" to my thoughts aswell. And the thing is, each time you give that thought your love and compassion - "For telling me such a wonderful story!" - you yourself become more and more joyuous. Each time I gave my love to it I got that same love back and it kept adding up. Until at one moment I came into a very relexed state and very loving state. You let the thought do its thing and then you return to what you were doing, this time a tiny bit happier. I've had some succes before with meditation and forcing it "till you make it", but this was the first time it felt different than all other practices. And that love stuck with me after the meditation for some time, which it never lasted before. This was my trick, perhaps you can try with something different, something more personal to you. To me it's just a cacophony of voices - or children - running around in my head and I just let them run themselves out of energy. It's counter intuitive, because you desperatly want to quiet them down, but you should be doing the opposite. And the peace comes by itself. You don't search for it, it just dawns on you slightly each time more and more. Hope you find your way. Edit: Oh yeah, and it does take its time. And once in the future everything will be immediate, you'll be better and better at it. The children will have told you all they had to say and it will be much more quieter. They grow up so fast.

Do we know what these supposed abilites are? I'm curious.

Dismissive/Avoidant Ayyy

He looks more feminine.

Ok, I don't know that. I know a lot is possible that we haven't discovered yet. He might tell the truth, he might not.

I think that all (or most) of the people that didn't masturbate and achieved something, it just came to them by itself, they didn't really search for no fapping. Then they told other people what happened and others wanted to recreate it too, but the internal drive was not really there. Perhaps some people just have a calling for it and they do it because it pulls them there effortlessly. And people who don't are trying to forcibly push there, and should rather find their own calling, which might be totally different. We try to copy others but then forget to live our own lives. This is just my theory, though. You might still try to overcome this obstacle and you do find the correct way to not fap. Who knows. Don't take my words as gospel. Just ramblings of another soul. One of the possible perspectives on it. Perhaps you have something other in your life that pulls you to your highest self and you should do that. And perhaps no fapping would help or perhaps it would not.

This is because you are forcing yourself to NOT do something. That means in your mind you will only want it more. What you resist, persists. So this has to come by itself. That's whyI see no reason forcing yourself to do something you don't really want to do. In your mind you think you want it, but deep down you know you don't really. When I had my longest streaks of not masturbating it was because something in me just let go of it and I didn't search for it. Mainly because there was something more important in my life then, I had a focus to something which I wanted to achieve and I forgot about masturbation. And when the urge did come I tried to prolong it even further because I wanted to break some internal record, but at that moment I also started thinking about it a lot more. Until I just did it. So the best advice for no fapping would be a strong passion for something else. For example if you really PASSIONATELY wanted to achieve some higher states of being, then you would understand it on a deeper level that masturbation is going to hinder that. You wouldn't have to think or question about it, the need to do it just wouldn't come up. When the WHY is strong enough, the How is easy. You just haven't found a strong enough WHY at this time. My passions at those times were different, sometimes it was making music, other times was some other major life goal that I worked for, some totally different area of life. But it consumed my whole being and overshadowed everything else. So I didn't even remember about masturbating. And when I did remember, the need just wasn't there because all of my energy was directed towards my goal. Right now you are just trying to trick yourself, because you know in your mind that no fapping has benefits. But your deeper side still loves it and you're in conflict. They have to both want it. Edit: To me it's like some people going to the gym. They see other people looking great and having muscled bodies and they want to look good like that, too. But the passion is not really there. They just want the same thing as others do, because they were conditioned this is what socieaty wants. So they go to the gym but it doesn't last long and they eventually quit. While the people who are really doing it for themselves, just the thought alone of working out ignites them. I don't know if this is a good analogy, but I tried.

What about constant meditation? Not just sitting for an hour and then forgetting about it when it's over, but for example like a walking meditation. If there exists a meditation while you're walking, I guess you could expand that to every act you do. I know that meditation originally really just means a certain way of life, but we usually associate it with some thing you do at one point in the day and then stop, so I wanted to clarify. Edit: I remember Osho explained it as observing feeling yourself as like you have no head and only the body from the neck down is walking around. Also, I have a book The Mind Illuminated and there's a walking meditation inside that goes in depth how exactly it should be done, but I haven't reached that part of the book yet.

What abilites?

This was my realisation as well. It's the only logical thing, too. But people laugh at me when I tell them God is lonely and that's why we are here. Oh well.

Hm. I quite like this game.

What the hell did Sadhguru even say? Joe asks one thing, Sadhguru starts talking something completely different. I want to scream at the screen when I'm listening to him. I can't take this. Joe is here and Sadhguru is somewhere. It is a waste of air and energy. Just answer the man. How hard can it be?

I'm more inclined to say happiness. If I'm not happy, what is the point of living in truth, but suffering? Just so I can say "I know the truth"? Hard question.

Target how?

Just so that it's official - If I were a woman I'd masturbate all day every day. Thank you for listening. Continue.

By seasoning you mean everytime before I make food or once a month, or? I never had good cookware that needed seasoning.

I started taking it seriously once I found out I have Hashimoto's. I cut out a lot of stuff and I miss a lot of stuff, too.

Also, it's a ritual. Even if it doesn't really wake you up, it gives you at least a psychological feeling of wakefulness. Also - it smells and tastes fucking amazing.

I have a theory my pet only likes me for my food. I might be wrong though, she might not like me at all.

Will I ever make it

What if some of the people who awaken and suddenly see how everything is a big game sometimes just say to them self "fuck it, since nothing really maters, I'm gonna play the bad guy this time, just for fun"

No I didn't accept. I wanted to save myself, just to suddenly start falling to my death. But I did accept it once in a dream I had, about 2 years ago. You know how you always wake up right before crashing to the ground? Well this time I didn't. I was hanging over a ledge of a bulding and started falling. But in the air I just said to myself "This is ok, I'm just going to go into a next life". I feel to the ground and then peaceful darkness. And then the dream ended. This does show to me that I'm growing spiritually. Athough if it happened in real life, I don't know what if I would have the same strength. Also, when staring at the computer screen for long periods of time, it's good for our eyes to look away at something else for brief moments, and, yes, the best thing would be to look at something green. And thus completes all of the color trivia I had.

This. We somehow think (well, because we were taught) that God is only just the nice things and love and light. But in reality God is both sides of the coin. He is the love and light, and he is also the devil. God is everything. People just can't cope with that.

A topic about colors in a diffrent section sparked my memories of some of my LSD trips that seem to have a recurring theme for me, ever since it first started, like I am going back to some place that might have been my past life, or something similar. I remember once - this happened only that time - having an experience of me suddenly flying over some area, allong some road. Something in my gut said Brasil, or South America, just by the looks of the road and the surroundings. After that introduction I suddenly found myself in some kind of a wreckage on some high altitude. Like a car crash perhaps on some high bridge. I somehow cut through the floor to save myself while in that panic, but instead of saving I started falling down a long way on another road far beneath me, to my death. Upon the fall everything went black and then some white light, like a tunnel. Then the trip ended. I had a very strong sensation that this was me in a past life. Or another explanation would be tapping into the collective consciousness and seeing someone else going through that, like I see his memories. But the prevalent sense is that it was me. Before falling to my death, I only remember the color blue, because the insides of that car or whatever were predominatly blue. Blue is now also my favorite color and I was wondering if it could be somehow connected. Like I carried that from my direct past life. This trip was around 3 years ago. But then there are other trips which keep repeating everytime since it first started. It doesn't matter what else is going on in my life at the time, but at the peak of the trip I would always suddenly tap into some unspeakable horror. Some sensation of people in some accident that's about to happen. Either I hear a lot of voices screaming at once, which to me sounds like people on an airplane that's going down, or the other one is seeing a body really swollen up and caught in somekind of a fish net and under water. The body looks as if it was dead for a few days. Really gruesome. It doesn't scare me, but it's more of a curiosity. But I have a sense of something really heavy about that. Like there is something unresolved in me and it keeps taking me back to these places. Part of me thinks it's me dying in some other life or lives. I feel like in that LSD state I started tapping into some higher frequency where everything is connected and I can pick up the different transmissions from that ether. But it's not different things on separate trips, it's always the exact same visions and exact same screams. After these visions first started, every next LSD trip brings me abit closer to solving the puzzle, but still far away from anything concrete. But the visions and screams are stronger. Just unimaginable tragedy and horror. One other time I suddenly found myself in someone elses head. Observing him walking through his house, myself not recognizing it, and seing it hrugh his pair of eyes. Like its his home and he's just walking around. I remember saying to myself "this isn't right, this is someone's personal life, I should'b be peeking in" and it stopped. And another one happened only once, I think, related to the airplane crash and the body underwater above - seing police cars and rescuers at some accident site. I don't know If I'm seing it from a rescuers perspective, like I'm the rescuer who came to the scene, or from someone involved in the accident and dying there. Or perhaps just from some third person perspective. You know the kind of stuff that you KNOW can't be just made up by your brain. Not just random flashing colors and thoughts, but the certainty of it being real is too strong. That strong gut feeling of it. I just wonder if this is me from some other life. Or, if we are all connected, experiencing someone else's tragedy and tapping into those memories.

Blue. I don't know why. I love it. It speaks to me. It pulls me in. I once had an LSD trip which looked like I was in some former life. All I remember was being in a wreckage, because there must have been an accident. It looked perhaps like inside of a car. I was trying to save myself by cutting the bottom, but I was suspended somewhere far up, so I just fell to my death. The vision ended with blackness. But the insides of that "car" were blue and that's the last thing I saw before the fall. Random trivia: Blue color has the most names for the different shades than any other color. While green is the ones that our eyes can distinguish the most shades of, that's why night vision goggles are green.