AuroraDream

i dont mind pure alcohol in tinctures

mdma can be surprisingly deep! haha. its not just "oh wow im so happy" Thats totally fair, and you know im starting to learn that i have to be careful with sharing things and my own insights, because something else i learned is that: trying to get someone to understand something isnt the way to go for me, we are all at different levels of understanding, and mdma taught me that no level is better than another. being completely ignorant or realizing god, no level is better than another, (and there also might be no end to these levels anyway so... haha...) but for real, no level of understanding is better You cant really get someone to prematurely understand something they're not ready for, and i sincerely dont mean "oh look at those poor little ignorant people down there, their little fragile minds arent quite ready for my insight" haha stuff like that. Even when you try, it usually doenst work well. like we're all at different levels of understanding, so there is no standard to set, and when we set standards, like this entire actualized stuff strongly implies that you "should" realize god, or that you "should" be "over here" realizing god, but that implies that you should be at a different level "over here" and not "down there". feeling like youre not okay where you are, in the present moment, is one of the greatest sources of pain. thinking we should be more realized, healed, conscious, aware, better, etc. this is one of the root causes of depression, thinking we have to be anywhere other than where we are here, in the present moment, as we already feel, as we are. some might think, well F*** thats depressing. i have to be stuck in the present moment and feel shitty? not quite, heres the most beautiful thing. ecstacy is all about finding the "sweet spot". where youre sharing and expressing something you are genuinely ready to express, and also not forcing yourself to go down roads that youre not ready for, which would end up just being traumatic and not healthy. this is where the most pleasure and spiritual ecstacy is had. its moving forward at your own pace, unique to you, and also knowing where not to go. so many people say you "should" face this, face that, go there, but thats completely up to you and no one else should have a say in that. this is why its so therapeutic for me, cause i learned these things. going places youre not ready for can destabalaze you, and thats not healthy, yet so many people are trying to push people to do that.... going places you feel ready to go, and only you have the right to decide and no one else for you, is healthy and creates a happy stable life. so i learned that its all okay and you I have to go anywhere or realize anything! its all beautiful! every level is beautiful! everything and everyone is truly valid, and ultimately just wants to be valaidated everyone deserves to be valiad, every person, every demon, everything, but when we feel ready to do that. what you feel truly matters, if theres parts of you that disagrees, then good thats beautful and it deserves to be heard, im not more right than you, and vice versa. i realized the other day i accidently invalidated someone on this forum , and i learned from that, they were completely valiad and so was I, i dont want to make anyone wrong anymore. damn sorry to hear, brains can definitely recover though, im sure theres some good hope. maybe take a few years off and come back to it if it feels right, and do more of a therapeutic approach, your brain can heal

wow that's amazing. yes that feeling is very therapeutic. for me its just like this "wow this is amazing! Yes!" feeling, "wow so grateful for this" and this feeling is where its therapeutic cause i can genuinely say, "thank you darkness! youre so beatiful! thank you for being there!" and thats where my perspective shifted on trauma. my trauma and darkness isn't something to overcome or get rid of, its a part of me. a misunderstood part of me, so i dont have to get rid of it or try to release it. i can love it and understand it, then its no longer trauma, just a part of me that wasnt loved. now in my opinion, toxic energy and trauma is just misunderstood, unheard energy it just wants to be understood, but its also not a rush, you dont have to understand or look at anything you dont want to - this was a big part of my realizations, thats why i view trauma completely differently now. having insights on mdma is also amazing, because the feeling isn't designed to push you anywhere youre not comfortable, so youre able to look at things youre ready for, "wow thats how that works! wow!" and thats where the therapy happens. ive only done it twice, and the doses ive done were full ones, like common dose, 120mg range ish. and very pure stuff. also the feeling for me it was like entering heaven, but that wasn't comfortable for me, its like I kinda died and entered heaven and it wasn't something i super loved or anything, but saw it to be beautiful, but after that passed it was very cozy and ecstacy like my first time. yep its definitely a once in a while type thing! i think doing it a few times a year is very healthy and necessary, at least for myself. also using it with therapy reduces the chance for comedown depression which i had absolutely none of!

people are still free to drink and drive though, a law just deters people from doing it because of the harsh consequences. people still do it all the time with mandates people lose their jobs, cant go into restaurants etc.... i mean i guess people can work... they just have to find another job... or another career after investing years and lots of money on schooling and commitment.... which is wayyyyy easier said than done, its not easy to find work these days, especially during a pandemic, and especially since we have to no choice but to make money to literally survive, and others i guess can go to a restaurant. they will just have to sneak in and be very skilled at doing that..... these vaccine mandates limit freedom more than a lot of laws do.

@melontonin thats totally fair thanks for sharing. how were your experiences with mdma?

mdma therapy completely changed my relationship to my trauma, and has helped me so much

from the forum guidelines: "Warning: Spiritual work is inherently risky and dangerous if misapplied or misunderstood. Some Actualized.org teachings are not suitable for people with serious mental disorders. If your mind is chaotic and unstable, these teachings may lead to a deterioration of your condition and even suicide if misapplied." Even though this is in the guidelines, he doesn't really follow this well. If something like realizing god can put someone into a crisis, which absolutely can, and does, he doesn't seem to mind forcing this realization onto someone with no remorse.

Intentions behind the honesty are good to become aware of. Even truth, love, and honesty can be weaponized.

Its awful that they would do that. Glad its waking people up though

I sincerely apologize that you feel invalidated, by what I said. I totally agree with you we shouldnt try and take eachother down here. And now I've learned something very special today becuause of your response. Very true this forum is full of that and I've carried lots of resentment from people like leo and the others telling everyone "how it is" on here. My response was also something true and passionate from my heart too that I feel I need to express

@Leo Gura bs comes from deep pain. bs is the mask. why would we want to use such judgmental language like bs when what it really is is deep pain?

there's no such thing as bs, this is judgmental language. our "bs" is pain, and calling our deep pain "bs" is just a toxic relationship with ourselves. yes our pain can come out in hurtful, destructive, unappealing ways, but calling it bs just adds salt to the wounds and i think is a toxic mindset to approach this. Seeking to face, destroy, or get rid of our demons or "bs", misses a beautiful opportunity to truly befriend, understand, and love them when we are ready. There isn't much more beautiful than understanding, having compassion, and loving something we once thought we wanted to destroy, get rid of, or "overcome".

thanks. exactly, this is one of my biggest learning lessons, and huge misconceptions going around. we don't have to put ourselves through pain/hell to be worthy of love, that itself is the core wound of the ego, thinking it has to "go somewhere" or "do something" or "overcome things" to be worthy of some "heavenly, triumphant place that's over there" and not right here and now in the present moment. Thats why i have a big problem with this whole idea of the hero's journey and defeating the demon/villain. there are no demons to defeat, the demons we have are just wounded and misunderstood parts of the soul and our self. and we dont have to destroy or get rid of the parts of ourselves we dont like to be worthy of going to heaven. Making friends with and understanding your demons and wounds, at youre own pace, is heaven

jobs are bs people expect workers to "do everything perfect" and have a "good work ethic" at things that our fundamentally misaligned with our natural human spirit and that drain our soul and life essence.

I think there's truth to what you're saying but i wouldn't say someone has to go through intense fear/pain to experience love, love is only now in the present, there's nothing anyone has to do to experience love, that would imply conditional love. This idea of someone only getting love if they go through intense pain isn't unconditional.

bruh, have you heard of snowden? he exposed that they dont just monitor for terroism and security.... its a clear violation

I think everyone deserves and has a birthright to be seen, as deeply as they need, at any time. Competition, in a nutshell, is basically the idea than only a select few can be seen and needs to steal the spotlight in order to have this very fundamental desire fulfilled. Every aspect of the ego wants to be seen at some point, every trauma, demon, thought process etc. But at our own pace, and trying to make everything seen at once is not healthy either. Some things aren't ready to be seen and some are, so just working with whatever is ready is the healthy way to go. And the very scary feeling of feeling trapped, is the idea that something will never get seen basically. Psychosis is seeing too much, hell is feeling that some things will never be seen and resolved, ecstacy is somewhere in between, which would be finding the optimal spot unique to the individual.

most jobs are bs anyway, my opinion is we should ditch the whole thing. i dont want to learn to cope with something that drains my life, the whole underlying system needs to be changed

absolutely not! those examples you gave are clear bullying, guilting, and if I had someone talking like that to me, no chance they'd be in my life for long. I think your reactions are perfectly normal. even if there is a piece of truth in what they're saying, to me, that doesn't matter at all. I think some of the worst forms of abuse exist in the lie of, "this is the truth you don't want to hear, and I'm helping you by being mean, so you can see". or something like that. This is where the lines get so blurred where people can get away with taking our their pain on someone else in the name of truth, when the real truth is they're just so unhappy and not at rest, they have nothing better to do than criticize things outside of them.

@Kksd74628 exactly!

learn and practice TRE (trauma releasing exercises by david bercelli). this helped me inadvertently transform my diet, i no longer eat or crave junk food. i only eat organic, vegan, dairy free, gluten free, sugar free, pure high quality foods only. but those results were unique to me. Also find healthier alternatives for what your currently eating. remember, there isn't only 2 choices here of healthy or junk, there is a middle ground, and its ok to be where you are at. For example: instead of eating lays chips, eat a higher quality potato chip cooked in avocado oil or something. instead of a large get a medium, or instead of a soda get some fruit juice. or whatever you want to do. it takes time and just try to enjoy where you are in the process.

@Raptorsin7 no man i understand, that's fair, your desires are your desires, no problem. I've just seen for myself that the domain of chasing women, the possessiveness, jealousy, competitiveness etc, carries lots of darkness and suffering, Also many women without knowing this project energy that is designed to hurt and intimate others to attract things and make them feel valuable, and this isn't something i want to participate in. with psychedelics ive been able to contemplate some of these things and see them for what they really are and its helped me break free

why are we even trying to chase hot women in the first place? why participate in this ruthless value game?

it takes profound closed mindedness and arrogance to not consider a conspiracy theory to be possible, and just shut them away as only for the "Crazy people over there", especially now, considering there's so much info and documentation especially with covid related theories.

Yes I think its bad for most people. Its okay you're not stupid, the way he teaches just makes people feel that way, and it's not a good thing. The way Leo talks is very judgmental and condescending to the ego and its selfish tendencies, which just further alienates the ego and makes it feel like its "wrong". Its in the way he talks, not what he says. Yes the ego deceives you and works against you the more you fight with it, try to change it, and call out its stuff in a confrontational matter. The ego and our selfish tendencies are part of being human, and there's nothing wrong there, just other people decide its wrong, and try and impose that belief on others which creates unnecessary confusion and crisis.