Paul Boldyrev

I've been going out a lot more lately, but the city I'm in barely has 700.000 people in it. And most approachable girls are students, so chances are I'll see them on campus again. I don't think I need to worry too much about "ruining my reputation" at night, but my fear of a bad reputation keeps me from approaching women during daytime. Is this irrational? Of course, I'm not planning on being obnoxious or creepy, but since I'm starting out my approaches will be awkward every once in a while. Perhaps I shouldn't worry about this at all. What are your thoughts? Thanks!

@something_else Thanks!

@LSD-Rumi Thanks, will do @kamill Aight, thanks man. That's the thing - I just need to practice my game Thank you all guys!

@Spiral Yeah I do, I love the town But it's close to other big towns and to Berlin, so I could regularly travel someplace else

Hey there! So, I've been struggling with porn for almost a decade now and can't seem to get rid of it. I don't enjoy watching it, but the addiction inside of me keeps tricking me into going back, even if that is for one session or a couple, every once in a while. I also try practicing sexual kung fu (basically semen retention), but it's often when the build-up of sexual tension within me gets too tense that I release it. I can't deal with the overwhelm of it. At the same time, I want to improve my dating skills... and use my energy for that and to improve my life. But most of this year so far I feel like I've been pissing away my time, or that I haven't fulfilled much of the potential of what I could have achieved. If any of you have advice on strategically changing one's life and habits - without getting too much ego backlash - I'd be grateful. Have a blessed day!

@Lila9 Honestly, I don't feel like I'm suffering much. There just is no urge to change much. @meta_male Thanks man! That's a meta-insight =) How did you go about making your discovery as fun as possible?

And another thing: I lack any motivation to improve my life right now. I'm not depressed, but I just don't see the point in being "above average" currently....

I'm currently in the application process for a sales job in a financial firm. The company seems to be alright. They care deeply about their customers and try to offer them the best insurance or investment deals possible. Also, they offer lots of ways to learn entrepreneurial things. However, I wonder whether sales in general is a bad means? Or is even the whole finance industry fucked, no matter where you turn? Also, I'm worried about what my family will think when I talk to them about this.

Honestly, nobody can tell what will happen, because the future is unpredictable. This uncertainty scares me too. Definitely agree with @RareGodzilla tho. IF A.I. replaces us without going berserk (and we can influence that), we'll be better off as a species. If you're interested in an expert's perspective on what we should do with A.I., check out Mo Gawdat's "Scary Smart."

@koyadr3 Definitely listen to Leo's "How to get laid" series. Other than that, it will always be scary, yes. You could drink alcohol, but that's not healthy and won't give you many returns long-term. What I recommend you do is to check out some meetup-events in your city. There are certain events in which the whole premise is to talk to the other people attending the meetup. Also, try to chat up guys, too. Just be more social. Go outside more. Works wonders. Once you're comfortable with these things, check out a Bachata event or go to a dance class. That will ease you up even more around women and people in general. Random tips at the end: From now on, I'll try to view my sets mostly as improv comedy. Perhaps that could help you, too? Also, be more vulnerable. If you are really anxious while talking to a girl, use that. Talk about your current state and be honest. Most of the time, that will also alleviate lots of the pressure and you'll be more of a "man" than those machos who try to hide their anxiety.

I have been meditating since May 2021. Especially in the first year, I got less distracted during my meditation sessions. However, nowadays it just works for a couple of minutes or seconds, and the rest of the session is extremely distracted. What can I do? Thanks!

@Devin Yeah, I'm actually one of their clients and they haven't been pressuring at all. A little manipulative, but I've experienced worse... and sales is manipulation, anyway. And yeah, I'll need to dig into their offer a lot

@Gesundheit2 I've almost meditated for two years now. It is definitely part of my routine, but recently, it's so distracted all the time

@Zion I also asked myself this question, but in the larger context. And in the end, it depends on who you ask this question. People like Andrew Tate try to hold on to traditional masculine traits. Other people try to define masculinity and femininity for themselves. Because, both masculinity and femininity seem to be social constructs (I'm kinda stuck in reflecting WHY they are social constructs tho, can anyone help me with that please?) Anyways, since both are constructed, you can change them in any way that is authentic to you: What ratio of masculinity/ femininity do you want to embody? Do you want to incorporate an energy that is outside of masculinity and femininity as well? Do you even want to call it "masculinity" or do you want to use another label that some "masculine" women, for example, would also identify with? Anyways, I want to stop answering your questions with my questions and give you my barely reflected thoughts: Masculinity is embodying manipulation. Not necessarily in a bad way, but masculine energy definitely changes, creates and morphs things in the world. You lead. You take care of your own life and don't always go with the flow, if you don't like where the flow is taking you. You desire the feminine. The feminine constantly tests and challenges you. You can read "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. it's on Leo's booklist. That book explains in great detail what it's like to LIVE your masculinity.

@mr_engineer I actually currently work as a freelance copywriter, and you definitely have a good point. I'll think about how I can show the value of insurances and investment plans better... However, I've found that especially the insurance industry is very negatively motivated. You get insurances in order for things NOT to go sour if you are in a shitty situation. The most effective way of marketing this would entail telling horror stories haha Thanks!

@Nilsi Guess I'll have to see for myself. I'm open to what you're proposing - but also, I'm open to the possibility of there being an ethical way of doing sales (BTW, found the genealogy of morals in my bookshelf. Gonna read it in Deutsch :))

@integral Most people will probably procrastinate and stay with the theory for too much time anyway. But I still feel like the forum is useful to balance out theory and practice, which could be useful for healthy growth. (I'm being so indefinite in my language because I have only had a "mad action and no reflection" business phase so far, so I only assume that a balance will make more or better profits in the long run.)

I don't know dude, but this topic reminded me of this resource: https://www.journalinghabit.com/ Perhaps even the dude behind it could help you out here?

@Leo Gura Well, I'll have to see that. But it seems like the company gives you lots of freedom in how you go about things... So, as long as I keep a moderate amount of profits flowing and, if necessary, provide other forms of value, I think I should be all right Do you have any advice/ resource on how to keep track of my psychology so I don't come up with a "fig leaf"? Thanks dude!

@mr_engineer I'm actually thinking of trying to make prospects conscious for our sales talks... do you think that could work?

@Ulax Thanks man and likewise : )

@Gesundheit2 On the other hand, people like Leo say that one should do meditation daily... How do I combine those two notions?

@PeaceOut96 This actually gives me an idea for a very practical tattoo: "Observe" written on your hand or something so you always remember

@Yimpa No, not criticizing it hahaha I actually did that because I was into it so much Should reinstate the habit

@Yimpa Oh yeah. I actually tried to flirt with a girl once by ranting about the Wim Hof method hahahah