BlueOak

Every relationship ends up stale after you've helped her through something or have counselled her. So kudos for realising this now. Maybe you can take the edge off by volunteer counselling, be a shame to waste a skill you've developed, unless that skill has become an addiction which its hard to say no to in everyday life.

Stop masturbating, you are probably desensitized depending how you do it. A vagina is rarely a overly tight grip or a single surface for example. It will happen naturally, there is usually some adjustment when you first start having sex, you can feel bruising for example if you have sex a few times in a row. Like any muscle things change and adapt. Good thing you found someone who didn't think it was them, which can happen, that's a good sign.

All this talk about manners and personality is useless. That was half your other threads first post. It made it very difficult to get through to the point. Now we have. I don't like this person, and i'm going to tell you why. I don't like how you do things MR X, and you're going to know it before i'm done. That makes me feel good. Just stop wasting your time on drama and living in reaction to everything, its utterly useless to you and everyone around you. Because now all we are doing is discussing the drama, its like a ball of threads or posts sucking in energy to no purpose. If you can't get past he said she said, or personalities, or ways people say things, then you need to go out and be frustrated with personalities some more until they no longer matter. This can take a lifetime. Method largely doesn't matter either. Its only results that matter, or become material in life.

My gut says do a heavy Detox on whatever you are comfortable with, or maybe the spine isn't straight and some yoga will help. Failing that there is a massive section on http://www.biologyofkundalini.com/ called the Physiology of Kundalini which may offer some answers. Its certainly more detailed than I could ever offer. My kundalini experiences were partial, chest to head and a few full bodied ones but they felt like minor ripples. Sometimes there is a pain as things realign both in our lives and our bodies, for me at least around the jawline which I later realised had been locked in place since I was a kid after a fall, I just need constant attention to relaxing the neck/head.

Semi contact martial arts are exceptionally good at remaining disciplined but showing no fear, as weekly you train physical contact and the difference in how you carry yourself is incredible. This question about violence won't be there, there will be no want, there will just be I can defend myself it doesn't bother me. You'll want to walk away, you'll want to get as far away from trouble as quickly as possible and not out of fear but out of it being the best defense. When you can hurt someone you don't want to in any form, you train to only do what's needed, and most often that's to walk away safely. I once asked a spiritual community what martial arts was most spiritual and they responded ninja, as that has an element of spiritual practice inherent in it. I used to like shotokan karate when it was semi contact, because it was defensive, all the way to blackbelt you learned defensive techniques, then learned offense when you were ready for it. Yet shotokan was also natural contact, now its padded so for me it doesn't offer the same experience but I imagine it still helps a lot. Only your hands, wrists, arms and legs won't be hardened.

I should also add of course you can preempt situations or problems when you realise why certain emotions are occuring in yourself, by adjusting expectations, or responses ahead of time. Then when a situation comes up about you, your partner or your relationship, you'll know if its true, because you know yourself inside and out. It makes for a solid foundation for anything, self identity, career, and your partnership professional or personal.

The more you know about what makes people and you tick, the less reactive you are. The more active or just neutral you can be if you choose. You can even help situations if you are feeling like it, useful especially toward your own relationships. You can benefit if you choose not just in personal relationships but professional relationships. Hate is a strong initial aversion that has to be maintained or come up again and again. I hate this person he's always doing this, I hate this thing every week I am doing this. It gives us space, direction, limited relief and breathing room. It doesn't tell us why, often if its constant it doesn't solve the issue. So while hate has a place as a buffer or to help us get out of an uncomfortable situation, that's why its natural, its miserable longterm. Its uncomfortable to stay there hating something or someone, for you and them, not understanding why. If you question why you hate something and come up with more definition, you can address that, the understanding helps you act rather than be in reaction. Example: Resentment, I resent that we do the same job and I get paid less than you, I want to talk to my boss about why I am worth the same. I resent that I am being asked to work every weekend, I feel that is unfair and so I can address it. In regards to understanding yourself and people its the same. Example. I am frustrated that every night I come home, I never know where you are, once in a while it'd be nice to have a night planned together. Understanding where you and your partner are coming from, what is driving it, is crucial in relating to people and developing your life and your life together. Understanding makes life easier. I hate that person. Is not helpful beyond just cutting ties and moving away. Example: I find the way that person brags all day and puts others down makes me angry, you could look at why or how to handle it. You could speak to them, or you could realise they are probably very insecure and that's how they keep their life together, giving yourself less emotional charge towards them. You could look at why them bragging triggers you, what about it inside you bothers you? Then you'll no longer be reacting but acting. This is the benefit of Emotional Intelligence. Something that isn't taught in schools and is a missing part of many people's lives.

Its just as likely to send someone in the opposite direction, and for them to be overzealous in defending people in the same situation for example, or calling for stricter laws on certain topics to protect victims. There are many people who go on to become councilors or therapists because they understand the people they are working with innately, they experienced it first hand and can more easily relate. This isn't always helpful either, because its an imbalance to be overzealous in something, but sometimes it really is helpful because it helps equal out the opposite side of society who are dismissive or ambivalent. So in its own way, collectively it is balanced if you can step back and look at it. It also helps show the extremes of an issue. As to a hurt mind. I would say no one alive hasn't been hurt at some point in their life.

This is a good question. I hate lying. Yeah if its survival. If it was that or not eating, i'd lie, i'd cheat to keep living. Manipulation is common when we feel threatened or unsafe. I feel the justice system doesn't take that into account enough. Beyond survival, beyond the very basics no. We weaken ourselves when we lie. The truer I am, and the more clearly people see me for who I am, the less surprises there are, the more grounded I am, people take you at your word, life just works better and is easier. Truth is strength. Manipulation, deceit, theft it just makes things harder.

Sexuality is only a part of a relationship and not needed for the great majority of them in life. Friends, Family, Coworkers etc. I would look less at sexuality and more at relationships, how you relate to people, for your answers. Specifically for intimate relationships. What do you want out of them? What do you want to offer your partner in them? How do you live together, as a partnership, and what does that mean? Let me try a different approach to this. Hate is normal. It happens in day to day life. Its an emotion, it comes up. Its not healthy to stay in it, because that takes work and energy to maintain hating someone. What you describe as hate you might also mean frustration, or anger, disappointment, or resentment. I see hate used a lot in the modern day to cover many other emotions. It takes time thinking about these things, and feeling them to better develop emotional intelligence to define what the feeling is. Emotions are not bad, its what we do with them and what they mean to us, the choices we make that are important. Intolerance and Tolerance are both flawed and the same thing. Let me explain, tolerance is not love, friendship or even neutrality, its I can bear this, I can tolerate it. Its putting yourself in a position of having to put up with something or someone as a burden. Intolerance is almost the same but you are just acting on the emotion you are suppressing. Neither are meeting people where they are, or for who they are, or accepting them. Do you see what I mean? If you were completely neutral toward someone for example, you wouldn't be tolerating them, there would be no emotion or suppressed feeling there to tolerate. Those feelings are coming from you. Ask yourself why, and then address that. It could be that person you are tolerating needs cutting from your life, and there plenty of people I feel that way about. Alternatively it could be your own issue projected onto them. Its not quick or easy work to go through this kind of emotional inquiry but its very rewarding for personal growth, it puts you in charge of yourself and gives you an understanding of why you and others act the way they do. So good luck and all the best.

More generally and this is where Leo and I disagree on the nature of reality. The fact the more successful someone becomes in life, the harder it is to help others, is a huge fundamental flaw in society. Also why part of it needs to be restructured. Success isn't always adding value collectively, so its making life worse when it isn't. A zealous or rigid capitalist will argue you can't grow a business without adding value, but is that really true, do you believe that? It could just be you are undercutting someone, using cheap materials that are going to last 1 year instead of two, overselling, manipulating markets, using cheap labor or making people work harder than they can sustain, which causes its own issues for example. I mean we are at the stage now robots are being considered instead of people, because people have been forced to act like robots to keep growth sustained, which if you could step back and look at it objectively, is madness. The value of someone can't just be how much profit they can process in a certain amount of time. - I think this is the blessing of AI, as it will force people to see that. On the other side, i've heard it said if you can't give 1 pound out of ten, you won't give a ten thousand out of a hundred, but its precisely what is needed as you grow. So however poor you are now, give that single pound or dollar out of ten, and you can understand a bit of what someone with more money gives. Yes its a lot, and its always going to be a lot of what you have to a total stranger. I have sympathy that its especially hard when it means you eat less, as opposed to get a second house but its a good litmus test of whether you can walk the walk as was mentioned.

@Hulia Over my lifetime I have seen a change somewhat in how people are regarding those leaving their own country for more money, when their own country needs them. If its purely a financial gain, more people will call them out for not helping back home. So there has been a change toward more self responsibility, but of course its not just financial for a lot of people, its safety, or comfort, ideology etc. I will say with less certainty, we still like to blame others for our own problems, especially when we can't or haven't been able to fix them, but even that is on decline.

Also I should add even those memories we have, we develop more understanding of them as we age. So all the connections between cause effect, or events, emotions, that we form change, deepen, or are broken in some cases. So even if somehow you were able to consciously recall everything you've ever experienced, from not only your immediate perspective but the many details you will have missed, understanding about what that event meant to your life will be forever changing and thus remembered differently. This is because life is based on connections, relations between one thing and another, especially in regards to your mind.

Don't expect any method or system to be full proof. Anyone can be useful as a mirror, depending on how much routine, structure and general dirt is in the way of the reflection. Talking to someone in itself is sometimes enough, even if the answers are only there as triggers for you to understand something. Its why pets are extremely useful, because they don't have complicated structures or methodologies in the way of any reflection you are seeking to understand. Obviously memory isn't always present unless you have a photographic memory that recalls every possible detail, from every possible sensation from birth. To suggest otherwise isn't logical in the first place. I think its things like a mix of fear that the method they've based their life's work around could be improved, a want for certainty in their life, and that they also fear the unknown in things like hypnotherapy, regression, dream interpretation etc. Which can be scary to a highly structured mind. Its why I could/can never embrace or become part of any rigid discipline, I spend all day questioning the foundation and structure of it. Some employers don't mind this if you work hard, some think you are undermining them personally because they are attached to the structure or method rather than the outcome. - Don't be one of these people, favor outcomes, no matter if your therapists method is flawed for example. Even in the case of photographic memories, it's still based on what the conscious mind was focused on, which is a fraction of what is currently present in that moment.

Mine or Yours = Ours. In all things. Responsibility. Ownership. Profit. Security. Safety. Organization. Cleaning. Governing etc. There are many steps required to have two individuals having equal ownership over and investment in something, a marriage is an example of one that highlights many of the potential difficulties on a larger scale, albeit it a bit too intimate to example most relationships. Inwardly, tribes might be another example that we've cast aside too much of. The idea that ensuring the safety and nourishment of a child is everyone in the tribes duty to preserve the tribe for example. The sense of community is lost in urbanisation as each voice is drowned out in a collective, this was best seen by me when the village life in England died out to urbanisation and towns. Conflict was lessened when the police were part of the community they were protecting, they knew the troublemakers who to speak to, and importantly it was their community too so they cared. Outwardly, borders would have to go. Its the only way that conflicts between nations ends. Its gone so far the other way in the publics mind though that even I appreciate borders and want to see them maintained strongly, but I also see that with borders mean we have conflicting interests. Divided populations and a splintered world. All of this is so pie in the sky fantasy but I will excuse myself the fantasy because so is the question. Its a fictional world view that would have been nice to live in. The utopia where all had what we needed, and then just worked for what they wanted. The utopia where two cultures are not fighting over who owns a bit of land but both owning, maintaining and caring for it. As a longshot, in the current world. If you want to tackle nationalism from a positive place, where its not 'mine' but ours, that might help with nationstates. Its a boogeyman at present, with so much baggage, racism and war associated with it. I wouldn't envy whoever took that analysis or work on. Identities based on countries are prone to attacking or seeing others as separate by their nature and so are the personalities they attract.

@Arcangelo For several years Australia I have realised has shifted more authoritarian in government, in no small part due to its proximity to China's sphere of influence. Its happening elsewhere but its even more pronounced in the australians I have seen comment on things. Please note, not right left, authoritarian constrasting liberal. Authoritarian Social + Capitalist Liberal Meaning personal freedoms are being removed in favor of collective identity. I'll be in resistance to that till the day I die, which is why I was banned from commenting on youtube, but it seems the new generation is more mallable to it.

Oh and back to what we've always needed to do forever. Organize. Keep creating structures on this topic further, that is scientists, to speakers, to industries, to politicians. The flow of information. If you can be involved in any of those four or organizing them, breaking down the information between each stage, great.

In their current state, energy companies decide everything about energy companies. So either we can reform energy companies further to the point they reflect a desire not to set fire to the ground they are on, or equalize power back to people. The first is easier but the second can be chipped away at. 1) Legalize Hemp for bio fuels. 2) Universal engine design standards in vehicles which are constantly updated to be as efficient and environmentally friendly as possible. 3) Further financial Incentives for renewable power generation. 4) Competition monopoly laws. Stop them intimidating, buying out and redesigning existing vehicles or machines, against people who create more effiecient versions or upgrades to what they have. 5) More Research Grants for Renewables. 6) Highlighting and developing out the link between immigration and environmental change, food production, overcrowding, poverty etc. 7) Unions and Protests. An environmental union would be helpful, billed as economic protection on the above issues, as well as furture protection for our children and grandchildren. 8) Highlighting just how long we have left before the different stages of no return on the environment. We've past some for example. They define what the future weather, ecosystem and quality of life here will be. So we could have models, this is what the world will look like, then this is what the world will look like. 9) Talk. Lots of talk on this, reasoning and not judging people. Constant education. 10) Encouraging cultural identification to renewable energy, a solar community, a wind farm family etc. I mean you can tackle things like money out of politics and corruption too, as these are indirect benefits.

From your posts you are looking at a shadow, full of fear, resentment, distrust, etc. You see a tide pushing people, drama, suffering and resistance. Whatever the aspect of shadow work is collectively those people are going through. Complexity comes from what part of it you are looking at it, what meaning you assign it and what you view the process to be. Example: You could view it as a natural process. A battle between perspectives. A dystopian nightmare coming alive. People working through collective shadow issues. The end of a really difficult period in time. A changing of fundamentally how the world is structured. The death of individualism, losing what defined you. Resistance to change. An opportunity to grow, contribute or help. A last ditch attempt to save the environment from collapse. Those in power oppressing others and consolodating power. A combination. You might even see it as all of these.

@Bojan V If people are going through what you say they are, then wouldn't they behave exactly as you say they are doing? Otherwise they wouldn't need to. And also, isn't that the process? *Focusing on assisting, as you are doing here at the end, is one option.

Emotional Intelligence Practice and natural Ability. Good looks, exercise, health. Appearing presentable and taking care of yourself. Reducing judgement, as has been said. If we could reduce judgement across everyone there would be a net benefit to the quality of life we all enjoyed. Being more open to talk about anything with anyone. Money and Opportunity to socialise. Safety and Security to socialise comfortably. Confidence. Ability to Agree, give praise and console. Eye contact, interested body language Having socialable friends or co-workers Having enough things to talk about, interests, hobbies etc. Keeping up to date with current events, enough to hold a conversation. Being able to read expressions, moods and bodylanguage. Being able to include others in the conversation and not talking over others. That's a few that come to mind. *I would sum many of these up to mean social intelligence, and the others emotional intelligence.

I remember a flashy looking 3D Holo image, looking a lot like a ceremony conjured with fire by priests. Different tech, same results to the crowd.

I remember brexit and people telling the brexit people how bad they were, rather than talking with them, it entrenched their position. It went so far that when I tried to have a discussion about a particular industry (supplements), I was dismissed a lunatic for not being pro europe on it, despite the fact there was a large push to cut their effectiveness down to EU standards. I had a relatively neutral position on brexit at first (didn't vote), as I prefer regional government not national or international power. Then I came to vote to stay in the second vote after hearing out both options in more depth, so I was hardly a hard core brexiter either. I just experienced and watched the judgemental, holier than thou attitude that was present. I have yet to see anyone talk to someone who hasn't had the vaccine and ask them why, instead we all sit in judgement over them. This is one aspect of modern society I loathe to my core. If the same amount of effort was put into talking, as was judging, there would be a considerably smaller divide present in society. On this topic and an increasingly large amount of others we can't even talk about it anymore because its banned! So I guess the divide is here to stay. And yes, I realise they do it to you as well. Judge Judge Judge.

No. I can think of plenty of wars that left things worse off than before for example. I was going to make a more ambivalent response but on this one no, war only teaches people to hate war. For it to be the absolutely last thing you want to live through in your lifetime. The alternative is bits of people die inside to survive it. Not everything that happens in life has a net benefit to people or in this case countries. Its a bit naive to think every challenge or problem you come across ends up to your or our benefit. Life just sometimes sucks and in the case of war it sucks for everyone involved. Can a war end in change that comes about for the better, maybe, but paired against all the suffering it took to get there, I'd question it, and i'd also question if peace wouldn't lead their anyway.

While the method and name of it depends on the country. Money can be used to counteract individual vote numbers or the popularity of an industry or further enhance it politically. This is one function of a lobbyist or advertising for example. On Voting rights. Popular industries get the popular vote already, it already benefits those in power to represent them. Left to a natural state more votes will be popular than not. If a country is trying to get back to relying on purely neutral statistical voting rather than having to have large swings engaged by party consensus to achieve everything, then the necessary people that money would have to sway will be greater. Cynically you can also reason it means those voting can demand more contributions for their vote, for example in the US senate, if votes can more easily be swung by an individual, but i'd still go with it costing unpopular industries more long term not less. *Please note I am trying to be as general as possible speaking about money interacting with voting, all voting in a general way. I'd appreciate it if nobody tried a gotcha moment, as i am sure different countries have different safeguards and procedures that can be better defined than this.