BlueOak

Maybe I needed to be okay with violence as an answer. I was too much of a coward in the past whenever it came up. That we need to realise and accept a more dangerous world to be closer to what it actually is. That will go both ways, war needs to be accepted as a new norm. I fought against this when China was invading regions around it, Russia the same, America the same, Other regional powers the same. Maybe I was wrong. Doesn't mean I want it but I have to be okay with it. We in Europe have become rich fat cowards unable to accept the reality of war. With the new nationalist empowerment i've fought against this change since about 2012 when I gave up on spirituality because I saw it accepting this aspect of us. I saw it there first because those people were more openly conscious. I feel that I have to accept it as part of me. I had suicidal thoughts last night, only briefly. First time in a couple of months. I used to get them every couple of weeks. So life isn't as bad as it was, as I accept more of it. It was why I isolated myself completely for so long, and stopped interacting with the world. Because I was in so much angry resistance to this aspect of me. So today I accept war as part of me. Violence and brutality as an accepted way for countries and people to act. Doesn't mean I want it, but its accepted. *This is harder than powerlessness was to integrate. Its not as soul crushing but its certainly more difficult.

The rest of the day went downhill. That 70% became 5%. I painted another fence, and was getting some mental chatter some stillness, and a few dips into imagination entirely. I was somewhat happy though. So I went back to check on the war and the news. I got increasingly angry, to the point right now that I've almost lost my temper completely. I made a conscious choice toward division and separation. I found that question in my mind and have a burning emotion inside myself, like I almost felt at the start of this conflict. I hate the Russian arrogance i've seen, and so the Arrogance inside myself. I hate the desire for one perspective alone to be correct, inside Russian speakers and so inside myself. I hate the brutal use of force to solve a problem. I understand I could be driven to that if I was indoctrinated and forced to at gunpoint but i'd just as likely accept the bullet. I hate that Russia could get a limited victory from this, and will be rewarded for slaughtering people in their homes and turning cities into rubble. I hate that violence is an answer. I hate that a year from now people will be doing business again like nothing happened, that people want that rather than consequence. I hate there being no permanence or real consequence for actions. I hate that no lessons will be learned from this, they barely ever are. I hate people using this war to make political points about other situations, even as I said in another post I know its effective. I have a lot of hate right now. Toward those supporting this war, those wanting to forget, those wanting to continue making money despite it all. While I work through it I know that's hating parts of me. So it lessens as I type this. Its all green emotion that I chose to engage in again. I could just stop watching and take the easy way out. But if I can't stop reacting to conflict like this, its going to blindside me at another point in the future, just like before. If you are spiritually and/or energetically active and it does, then its really painful. I can't go through different spiritual routines and practices, while still having these emotional attachments. There has to be a better way than just ignoring it now like the population is beginning to do. I also hate that, I hate when people look away and so I hate the want to do that inside myself. A hateful day. I hope yours was better. At least I got a fence done. *shrug*

I've only just found this, it is a step by step breakdown of the war day by day on the map with video evidence where possible:

Today I have straddled the types of mind/body I spend most time in, as well I spent a few hours outside in meditation in the sun, I have been feeling love from gratitude toward food and people. I spent some time watching news on the war. I spent some time watching Mooji and Greg. I spent some time full condensed in immediate imagination of 'want' and also almost felt the physical start to shift or come undone when I tried to observe what was observing the sensations in meditation. I made a few small prayers from a place of peace. I would describe these bodies as physical - emotional - inner spirit - imagination - consciousness - (sub consciousness?) - energy body - the immediate body beyond the subconscious For sometime it has been obvious to me that my consciousness contracts when I spent it on conflict. It expands when I let go of attachment. I'd always liked Mooji because how can you not :D, but i'd never found the subtlety of his teachings enough for understanding, only reassurance. Letting go of needing to understand perspectives or draw identifying conclusions I now feel more drawn to his videos. Especially given its opposing balancing nature to the current output of media, focus and conversation I also feel 70% of the day is now not in the direct egoic consciousness. Which is great.

When we seek to understand something we identify with the conclusion. We form that as the basis of our new reality or relationship with it. Guard it. Fight for it. Every action is then based around what we concluded, even if we revisit the identity created to expand it, we are doing so from the point of attachment. If I can give up the need to understand, I can be free of attachment to the need of identity. I won't fight to defend what I have considered my reality or attack other aspects of myself for expressing outside of what I have accepted as reality.

Light is perceived and perception is everything. But there is nothing uncreated in infinity.

War will bring the worst out in people. The animal. Rapes. Torture. Murders. Its why it should never happen. For western audiences the closest is like WW2, artillery going back and forth. People living in rubble and inflicting horrors on the people around them. The first case of Russian soldiers raping a woman in front of her child, after shooting her husband, has been announced by the Ukrainian court. These are just the first stories you'll hear from both sides of the horrors that will last 20 years, some will be fake and some true but nobody will be an angel in war. Ukranians are identifying bodies of the dead and contacting Russians on social media for example, because the Russian military are not telling them. That is both psychological warfare against Russia and also for the family, hopefully to cause enough unpopular sentiment that Russians help it end.

Here is a good tactical analysis of a few of the conflict points. It is somewhat western biased but he also criticizes things like aspects of psychological warfare from Ukraine as well or the reality of what is happening vs the fantasy. He raises important points like there being many more weapons than advertised being brought in, to be sustain the war, and those 300,000 Ukrainians that re-entered the country, what training and weapons they've received to assist. I like him because he doesn't sensationalize anything. Kind of person I can listen calmly.

@Ulax Yellow? The perspective you are disagreeing with here also needs to be accepted. Turquoise? Accepted in yourself. Just like I have to tell you this by accepting your view 100% and understanding it 100% and giving this in the most respectful way I am able. I failed to be respectful in my first comment here in this thread and I apologize to everyone for dismissing their identities. I have done many times in the distant past on this subject. I understand why its empowering and helpful to have this ideology and why its structure helps people relate to the individuals in the world around them.

Vice is often a decent source of news. Gritty and realistic, doesn't sugar coat it like the regular channels do Here are some flashpoints Something more graphic Kharkiv: Most of these will probably end up age restricted.

Understanding or What can't be understood. Identity or Dis identification. Want or Sacrifice of Want Conflict or Wholeness. Every action chooses. Reality is addicting. The want for a result or to be right, or to win is intoxicating. Its like a mild high. Conflict is taking that want to an intensity even further. Surrounding myself with identities is emotion, fuels it, its safe and powerful . The need to understand or interpret a greater meaning draws me in every time. Then I want to win, or be right when I interpret it, even if I try to be as broad or just deep as possible. I know why I am here right now. I understand why I am doing what I am doing and I understand the purpose. Understanding isn't enough. Detoxing the mind is the most important and its one I least want to do again. I was so happy before when I did, but I am addicted now to the intensity of conflict I find it difficult not to engage in it. I used to write stories that were so intricate and fascinating, the characters drew people in to be part of their world of conflict. In that sense I was a cause of addictions. A month ago someone asked here how to create world peace. Conflict will exist while people are addicted to how it makes them feel engaging in and watching it. The need to win, to be right, to defeat the perceived other part of themselves, the intensity of emotions. Its so easy when you are not in physical peril, but even that physical peril doesn't deter some.

Here would be a milk toast UK view on the Nazi propaganda. The BBC is about as status quo as it gets here and generally as close to state TV as we get. Here would be a far right march in Moscow: And to show less bias, one in the UK. All countries have them.

Well we cannot ignore, and I should have mentioned in that comparison that of course the reason Ukraine is holding and in some areas beating back Russia is not only down to their fighting spirit, homeland advantage, but also the flood of weapons from across Europe into their neighboring state. Its also simple things like civilians in their homes telling the Ukranians where the Russians are, because Ukraine itself is fighting Russia. Its all the people making roadblocks or getting supplies or men to the front in their cars. Everyone is involved. Its Russia fighting let's say 20 million people. Maybe that's an exaggeration maybe they are fighting 10 million, but that's not a cost Russia is going to want to pay in a conventional war. They'd need to draft most of their young into the fight, like Ukraine has. So its more that its the Russia military vs the Population of Ukraine, because Ukraine really feels like they are in a fight to the death for their identity.

Evidence on the ground. Kherson for example, Russia is losing ground. Kyiv Russia is losing ground and getting units encircled. Chernihiv in the north east its more even, they may even be making ground there. In the south east its hell for all involved. Russia is not the second strongest military in the world anymore. Its equipment is outdated, its logistics are garbage, its coordination between air and ground is terrible. Their communication systems are not at all sophisticated and easily hacked. Their men are undertrained and their officers often don't have a clue. The men on the ground don't have enough supplies or the gear they need to do the job. If it truly were the second best military in the world this region would have been completely overrun in a few weeks. Ukraine IS winning against Russia. This is the reality check you cannot see. Russia is no longer all powerful, you are thinking of their neighbor China. Russian technology is a million miles away from American equipment. Its economy is less than the size of Texas, a powerful but single state in America. There is no comparison. They spend a fraction of the US budge on their military. As for tanks being generally less useful elsewhere, yes Tanks are not all powerful anymore, and guess what that's the bulk of the Russian army, Tanks. This is a budget comparison: https://cdn.statcdn.com/Infographic/images/normal/16878.jpeg It gives you some idea of the gap, over time this gap means an increasing divergence in the quality.

My common sense tells me to stay as far away from this topic as possible. But I sometimes don't listen to it.

Not if its what's called post op. (Operation). Even Pre Op you'd have people using Testosterone which would give an advantage. I think the only way would be either muscle mass / weight or checking for Testosterone levels and limiting based on that.

Some clubs tried unisex bathrooms when I was at university way back when. There was some funny moments and some embarrassment but the guys were okay with it obviously. I'm sure some of the women had a laugh but I am equally sure some would never go near them, other than to be curious then immediately leave. I bring it up because that applies to athletes too. I don't suppose any guy is going to mind competing physically with anyone else, even if there is moral or ethical objection from some. Its the woman that rightly have concerns over their body in the sauna for example, and the physical fairness of such a matchup in their sports. But beyond that I have no solution that isn't overly complex. Like weight categories at the Olympics for example, or measuring levels of testosterone in female events. It does take stepping outside of identity to find a solution not based on identity. *And also to add, personally I have no problem with what anyone does to their identity or body, its entirely nothing to do with me. So this comes from a consideration of others.

When will Russia's pride stop them fighting a battle they have no chance of ever winning? Not without 10 times the forces they have currently assembled and a nationwide draft the likes of which it hasn't seen since the USSR. A return to the cold war and possibly war with everyone west of you? What pride is driving Russia to continue to beat their heads against a wall? Or is there more to it than just pride, like with all things? For Ukraine I see: Fear of death and loss of what they are. Death of identity drives most decisions. Blue Pride and sense of national identity yes. Green Sense of Community and Open Liberal Sentiment. Orange Western Business Models and Individualist Choices. Red thrill for the violence and hatred of Russia. Yellow analysis of the two options compared to each other in relation to their own life, democracy and autocracy. The want for democracy which is orange/green/yellow orientated to have a say in their leadership. Family. Home. Country. Revenge. You name it. It isn't Russia anymore. It evolved to be something different (not better or worse different) This war has completely severed any hope Russia ever had of integrating Ukraine in my lifetime. Ukraine has every chance of winning it, they've got momentum currently. If winning means keeping their national identity, way of life, personal preference, and values in tact, then yes that. The Russians are held and being pushed back. Can they invade Russia and beat them, of course not. Can they slowly push them out of their territory until they meet a concentration of force that will hold them. Like after the next Russian draft in April? Perhaps. Its perhaps. Perhaps they might take Kherson back for example or the Russian's might hold it. They just lost another LT General there, the commander of the region. I think that makes 7 generals dead for the Russians. They might well encircle the Russians in the north too, they've been capturing more prisoners there of late and are attempting to. We'll probably get to where we were headed to at the start, some territory given up and a stalemate nobody is happy with.

Then they will live under an occupying force that jails protestors, kills political opponents and makes every day people disappear. They don't want the autocracy of Russia, they've made that clear repeatedly. They don't consider themselves Russian. Suffering will happen whatever choice they make. Only now the entire population hates Putin, they don't just not want Russia they actively hate them. Its given them a national identity stronger than ever, and after they've lost so much you think they will just say oh well. Sadly countries are often made in war. I wish it were not so, but it is. I don't know how much evidence people need to show that the population of Ukraine don't want a Russian regime than a month long war with tens of thousands of dead. If the popular revolution that involved much of the country was dismissed as somehow a figment of a western mind, then perhaps this will be enough to show it.

Infinity: Watch yourself, Watching yourself. That's how reality is sustained indefinitely. All is mind and seeing ourselves outwardly is how inwardly reality remains constructed. I mean this on all levels or all aspects of life. There might be more to it but that seems worth mentioning.

@Gushu 'The West' didn't exist as a collective concept in the minds of most people in the west. Not over my lifetime and i'm in my 40's. Sure they listen to themselves being called it but it didn't mean much. It is meaning more, the more it is referenced and they accept it. There are/were far more differing perspectives even in just the EU for example, than a collective identity. Just look at Europe's map for example at how fractured it is. So to blame the west as a collective is not understanding the nature of the west. Again i've been trying from the start of this conflict to draw a great big red box around Eastern Europe as the focal point, because it is a large part of why we have reached this point. Individual countries wanted collective security from an increasingly belligerent expansionist Russia, so they joined NATO. Russia became this way because NATO expanded and interfered in its own sphere of influence over decades. They did this because Russia was becoming more belligerent.. because the west was expanding or interfering etc. In a loop. So its a two way dynamic that has gone on since the cold war, it can't be anything but that, because things don't happen in a vacuum. Fear is at its center and you describe that, I think i've described eastern Europe a lot, with the various invasions from the USSR they have suffered over the decades. Lot of meddling in Eastern Europe politics from Russia as well, lot of meddling in Russia's sphere politically from the west. Any speaker who doesn't describe both sides of the equation in at least this surface depth either can't see it or has taken a side and is constructing their viewpoint around that identification.

I argued with a stage green who was virtue signaling about other wars on a war video. I concluded eventually that's exactly what a stage green would do, because its the precise time they would get the most attention for their want. I apologized to them at the end. From where they are everyone has a understandable position, when you understand their motivations, where they are coming from and what drives them to do what they do. It could not be otherwise because you assign the meaning, interpret the act, all which exists only in your own mind. Created by you. This bit gets me. I don't feel I am creating the act of something, I lack this realisation. The meaning is created by me, and if the meaning or interpretation of what I am seeing, hearing or understanding is created by me, then everything referenced is created by me. Hopefully that duality between creation and interpretation is now closer to folding. I didn't put the person in front of me talking to me, or tell them what to say. Make the rain come or the birds move. Yet I know they are in my mind only. This is what I struggled with ten years ago, this point. Because I desire control so much, or rather an 'outcome'. I haven't been able to let go of the need for outcome yet, or want as I talked about earlier. I understand without outcome i'd be dead in a day, its a necessary part of life but it brings conflict with the understanding that mind is all. What I feel is there are different layers of mind. Conscious - Personal Will, Sub Conscious - Revolving around you, Super Consciousness - Everything else. There may be more layers than this, and a long time ago when someone told me we are in wombs of consciousness, or an egg waiting to hatch I understand what they mean more now. *Maybe these layers of mind act differently, so the term 'want' doesn't exist in some of them. Want being the basic need for survival and prosperity in the immediate world around you. The reference, the want and their relationship created by the conscious mind only.

Knowing anything.

I tend to agree, the (fully orange) corporate pyramid crushes people that don't claw their way to the top. I fully understand that sentiment and wanting a different option to it. I don't know if Russia is though? I genuinely don't know if the culture of advancement there is any different. Is it what we'd call here green or yellow in its own internal advancement or are people crushed in a different way? I always thought Russians best position was to be the bridge between the east and the west, trading its massive natural resources to both. But it pulled back further each year, which led to the cycle of NATO expansion -> Russian Regression -> Repeat. All fueled by proxy wars and wars by association around the globe. Anyway, that's the past now. The future is set to be China, Russia, Iran with their allies. Standing against Europe, America and its allies. Obviously around the world different countries are forced to choose, remaining neutral becomes more difficult. I remember India news talking about how difficult they were finding it, someone suggested the league of neutral nations should be formed to give people a third option. Which would be very popular undoubtedly. I hope, I really hope that we don't keep splintering like this, but that's the path people are taking. Splintering into two or more powerblocks with a sadly nationalist wave that is still present in consciousness and being propagated further. It doesn't make for a safe future.

So today I went from saying everything is interpretation to everything is mind. Meaning all of reality will now reflect this to me. I realise that the hand moving to touch the table was all in my mind, the visual, the sound, the movement. I want a better word for that to bridge this to others who have thought abstractly about that. Every single experience you've ever had is not only interpreted in your mind but exists there, it can't be any other way. I can't say there is no spoon yet but I can say the spoon is entirely in your mind, what it means, where it is, what it looks like, how it feels. Maybe the next stage is a neo there is no spoon realisation, I feel I am close. The hand is in the mind, so mind is all that exists, the objects around me exist as part of my mind, so there is no spoon, only a reference in the mind. The inner conscious mind again is mostly silent as the body/mind adjusts. Gratitude