BlueOak

Everyone's experience is different. If you don't have much experience with energetic work or body awareness you might not believe or appreciate this: During intensive meditation, I have energy that runs through my fingers, to the point I feel like they want to pull apart, but are also too heavy to move. I do heal during meditation, I feel muscles relax, headaches go, the body expels gas, and gives me an accelerated healing of ailments. I can tune in to myself, and line up what happens in the day (not I the greater intelligence outside this body), to avoid unnecessary things happening. It doesn't stop problems or challenges, but it does avoid something unnecessary happening. This, in effect, makes the day flow better and any problems heal faster. What it can't do (or I can't do) is correct a big defect, I can ease the soreness in my shoulder for example and avoid hurting it more during the day, but I can't remove the scar or operation I had. So if I was Sadghuru I would have tried to meditate the headache away at first, oxygenating the head can also help (head rolling techniques) or breathing exercises. Its not wise to avoid getting a condition treated, unless he for some reason concluded that missing those appointments was a worse result than the resulting problem (and future missed engagements). I don't have the experience of knowing exactly what's going on inside myself, though I get hints from intuition, body awareness, and dreams.

Yes the entire thing is backwards. Forward involves looking beyond our own perspective, and using the outside world's resources, not our own internal bias. Our Internal bias is our past and brings the same result. The rest of Infinity sits outside of it. The quickest way to move on, is bringing others into the equation in some form. I get that desperate people do desperate things. If there was an authority in Palestine that was not advocating for victory or death, do you honestly think the majority wouldn't follow it - If they had the guns and power? I would say it depends on the quality of life, but even more who holds the guns and power. At the moment that's a violent gang of young men. Here is one solution: Each region of Palestine is given statehood, and supported by an international coalition. These micronations become easier to manage, and smaller than Israel is. They slowly form a separate legitimized identity in each region, and become responsible for it. Local civil authorities would be responsible for policing themselves and if they do something aggressive, they would be the ones to suffer the consequences directly. Giving people food, water, shelter, and health, no more living in fear and responding out of it. Terrorists (and kids with guns) would be surgically arrested or taken out by special forces, and intelligence services with backing from the local civil authorities. The leaders in Qatar of Hamas should be immediately removed. If enough nations got involved, and brought specialists in, guaranteeing peace in those small countries, then it could move forward. Its not a big nation-building effort, it is putting in a police force in two small countries, giving each country legitimacy and a voice, then backing it up with a large coalition to make sure they become sustainable in things like food and water or exports. At the moment, it's largely kids with guns, I don't know what the mean age of males is, only that it will be below 19 the average for men and women. You have to treat these immature minds as you would radicalized teenagers, and there are experts on gangs and radicalization that could help. Is any of this easy no, but its better than genocide and all the repercussions that will come about. Would civil authority be challenged, yes. It often is in chaotic areas of the world, but having it around means it can be supported. These would not be huge countries to do this in. Its not the first country in anarchy that people have supported a police force being created in to bring about order. The fundamental point is, that people prefer peace to war when the conditions are safe. You will never convince me otherwise as it goes against every experience I have had to date. 1,500 dead is very different from 150,000 dead. The amount of hate and suffering is often equivalent to the amount of cyclic hate and suffering it generates. The more families affected, the greater the reprisal. If you genocide a population, it doesn't end there, especially in a region where you are an increasingly isolated culture, and you are genociding people related to the surrounding cultures. I could tell how this has worked out historically, where a small powerful group has taken over an area and effectively genocided the natives, NOT WELL. I understand Israel is reasonably well protected by itself and America (provided America's isolationist trend reverses), but you must understand that if 150,000 people are killed, the country doing it will suffer for several generations the kinds of acts that brought this about. It doesn't always come about by violence either, I've talked about isolation. Cultures bathed in violence often stagnate and die, sometimes it's the last gasp of a way of life to commit genocide against other people. Because if you kill 150,000 people next door, and you are okay with that, what does that do to your domestic population, that level of slaughter and death being normalized? Do you see a well-functioning society living harmoniously afterwards? Even if the external threats are kept at bay for a time. Frankly when I listen to the Israeli diplomats they sound like detached lunatics to me, certainly not the only ones that do, there is a lot of fanatical behavior in the region. Another example, Russia is an alcoholic at a bar, and their now more isolated country is crumbling, surrounded by enemies and with the blood of a large number of civilians on their hands seeking vengeance. Its population and infrastructure have been falling apart for a while outside of a few urban centers, but the real threat will be within its own oversized country for a few generations. The world has become very good at dissociating from their actions and pretending they don't have consequences. Its got VERY good at BS and living in BS. So perhaps people could lie and live in denial. You can do like England does and tell everyone things are going great, when it's consistently getting worse here (at least in the east), but the reality always wins out in the day-to-day experience of life. This is without even touching on this concept: Let's say you were slaughtered by an Israeli in your last life, gunned down in the street. Who do you reincarnate as? Possibly as an Israeli bringing all that trauma with you, or their mortal enemy, or someone the other side of the planet who wants nothing to do with it all I guess. Ditto on the other side of this war, its just one more part of the cyclic suffering.

Source? Show me a source of several (or as many as you know), of people out of the Hamas gang or the Hamas Qatar leadership that are speaking this message. I'm sure you can find them if you tried, but you'll probably begin to realise most people prefer food, water, and safety over violence. That's universal. Its the gang mentality in young men that inspires and perpetuates violence, which is also a universal problem. I'm not going to say you can't tie that up with religion, but the practical implications are the same. Young men in a gang with guns using violence to achieve an end.

The short version is: Palestine needs a police force and civil authorities not a military occupation if people REALLY want peace and stability.

The Palestinians are mostly children with their age range, the median being 19 (lower in males), they don't even have a voice, or communications. If they did speak I would speak to them and treat them as I would a child or teen involved in a gang. Some leadership in Qatar told the people with guns to give you that message and now you are telling me it. They did this because it kept them in power, they have an opponent, and they run an organized gang mostly comprised of people too young to vote and the few that lived long enough to perpetuate it. Certain Israeli policies and government officials have also been able to continue their existence by having them as opponents which is why the following is never supported by either side: Not allowing a solid government to form in Palestine (and assist it) is Israeli's biggest mistake, because any measure of authority that would be held responsible for what is happening doesn't even live there. They would have an official body to interact with, this would also legitimize the Palestinians as having their own country, and allow a carrot and stick approach. Instead, we have a refugee camp ruled by a gang, not a country secured by police and civil authorities. I am honestly not willing to break all the alternate routes this could have gone down, or the more sensible options that were available. i've done many posts on it it's a waste of time. Countries want to act on their own, without global legitimacy for their actions, this is a global trend, so their leadership at least should bear the consequences alone and not be given an infinite supply of weapons for their individual ambitions. If they want to act as part of an international effort to bring peace, or retrieve hostages for example that is one thing, but my government in the UK, and in the US are responsible for facilitating the genocide in the region and shielding those responsible from the natural consequences of such an action. (Just as other countries do for Hamas and Iran)

We can go through a hundred courses of action again but nobody cares. I've done it three times. People want the war, so it continues. I'll instead list the obvious ways fights between nations end. Others stop them. Resources run out. Weapons, money etc. The fighting age population is depleted. The leadership is toppled. Diplomacy. A peaceful leader fosters a movement of non-violence. Public protest against a war. Collapse of a country. Invasion of a country. Some external disasters like famine or drought. People lose stomach for the slaughter. Its not two men slugging punches at each other till one drops. Its millions of people, various different groups that are largely controlled from outside the country with a long history of violence. In this analogy, the two people fighting are nowhere near each other and the people being hit have seen violence for generations. You think one more horrific violent display on people who are largely moved as puppets, does anything but create more suffering later down the line? In your logic we'd have to be at WW3 or in a larger regional war to achieve the result, which nobody wants.

Truthfully. Is this the only end to violence you have seen or experienced? That one side beats the other until it no longer can fight or wants to fight?

Like I told everyone at the start, the natural conclusion to this is cyclic suffering. It's impossible to be certain, as it could spill into a different country, however: 1) The obvious point is Israel is slowly left alone and isolated, surrounded by the many enemies that have all collectively, including Israel, created the situation that will dominate that region over the coming decades. America is slowly pulling its sphere of influence back, and this is a catalyst to do so. 2) The alternative path is always there. That people are fed up with the slaughter and course correct, but that is unlikely while what is being achieved is not only wanted but shielded from reprisal. If they did this, things could calm down, leading to a period of mourning. 3) A third path is Israel align with BRICS for protection, and BRICS to drop Iran or somehow weave a truce between them, I find it unlikely at this stage, given the history of people interfering in the region, but China carries a lot of weight when it wants to. 4) Maybe people have become so indifferent and turned inward, that when Palestine is gone, nobody will care Palestine is gone. Given the current patterns, I think this is more likely than is expressed here. It'll still be used as a rallying cry forever more, they are creating an entire generation and country of martyrs. My interest in international politics has waned in the last months again, the cycles are too obvious, and the patterns rarely alter, just branch out. All I can do is point them out over and over. *Oh and SHIP supplies to Palestine, stop using stupid choked-up road checkpoints as the point of contact. Check the ship before it leaves port, then take the supplies in trucks after they are checked. That is if people want the population fed and clothed, but instead they want the population out of there by any means necessary.

I might be talking to the wind here but here is some excellent editing advice, especially if you talk in a lot of passive (Traditional English) voice like I do: I appreciate several of her videos on editing. For most of us starting out we can't afford an editor. A thousand pounds or so for one book that may only make half of that in its lifetime is impractical. I am on the third draft of my 52,000-word novel now. It's a short action and survival novel, with community building, set in a science fiction universe. I started on the 28th of last month and aim to finish before April. I will then write another book set in the same universe and keep adding to it. * Here is another link to help, this lady's videos tend to do deep dives into complicated topics. https://www.youtube.com/@EllenBrock

Consider it's a teacher's role to make belief systems more flexible. So if we put Sadghuru up on a pedestal for example, that isn't healthy. Leo is often going to tap at any absolute view you hold. If we consider anything absolute, it misses the point of experiencing life or infinity (from every conceivable perspective) If I were pushing the opposite way, fantasies can cause wars, death, and marriages to fall apart, great loves, joys, you to breathe and be born. The power of understanding Genes can unlock some of the most extreme fantasies imaginable. Even if it's due to human consciousness raising to the point where identities are no longer absolute or fixed. People are more able to choose their life's trajectory, selecting healthy genes before birth to eliminate unnecessary suffering as part of the manifestation of that reality. *Also you are the guru and the shop clerk.

From personal experience. Meditation relieves a lot of issues, and allows increased healing, (focused attention on the area and intent) especially in the deep states someone like this can reach. It affects the internal and external events you'll experience. Sometimes though life teaches you a hard lesson no matter who you are. Ignoring your health is a lesson lots of people experience for different reasons. If you've got a concern go get it checked, don't invent reasons why you are not doing, even if you were there last week, go again. Listen to your body, its how you are in this life. I just went yesterday for a minor thing which the nurse said could have been major, so we did a few tests.

By finding better expressions for conflict. At the moment the opposition to it creates resistance to a natural state and does nothing for the problem of war. Just as censorship never censors anything, it just moves elsewhere. Sports for example, in England much of our social conflict or conflict with our neighbors was replaced by football for the working class, it was almost like a tribal state for some, and violence at football matches in earlier decades was more common. All of which was better than war. Balance. Spending time with that which is hated, resisted, or unknown. Focusing on the average. This is the answer for all things that is missed in almost every human conversation. Everyone looks at the peak or what they could have, the top 10% or what their neighbors have. There is little appreciation or focus on what is, this eternal greed for more creates imbalances that are present throughout all of humanity. I realise some drive is necessary but envy is on the ugly side of humanity.

Stop going ------------------------> Right on mass. That's friction, unsympathetic reactions, stronger national identity, a more splintered world. Blaming everyone else for everything. Having to have a target. Having to look strong, having to use the military, war is how it continues. Just look up fascism, and ask yourself how many of the theme's listed on the right in Wikipedia for example, are now not just present in the country but dominating it. There are a lot of good things on the right too, but from the perspective of being less warlike, not so much. If you don't have the left-wing voices balancing it out in foreign policy, and worse they are suppressed and vilified, welcome to the result. All those people for a generation that wanted to 'own the libs' and vilify anarchism to the point it's barely even there anymore, socialists are a historic almost forgotten group blamed for every evil that ever existed in someone's heads. Well nobody has them to blame anymore because they don't exist in any organized fashion whatsoever. I guess immigrants are still a useful punching bag, oh and the poor are always there to kick, gay people too. None of this will happen of course. All that will happen is this: <------------------------------ A few generations from now, in a yoyo effect, and when people are fed up enough we'll get a swing.

In order of importance in the UK and Western Europe. Raise people's level of development far enough that living with people, is more important than owning things. Keep improving Verticle farming and how high it goes, reducing cost, and subsidizing it. Reduce reliance on livestock (Beef/Lamb) these two take up the most room for their return in food. Slow Birthrates (Happening now) Stop drying up, and slowly killing areas of the planet forcing immigration. Less war wouldn't hurt. Build more apartments. Put into the culture the notion of large family apartments as the norm, media/news/politics saturation, very hard to break the white picket fences installed in people's minds, but it would be paying huge returns in saving space. Improve high-speed connections for workers between countries, allow workers to work abroad and live at home. Discourage people just building large homes, and leaving large areas of the country unaffordable to live in. Oh you have no workers, well done geniuses. - You can always tell when planning isn't being done right, it's a very hard art to get right. Reward and honor good city planners. Never happens, it should be in the news. Reform the news while we are at it, to be balanced with successes that get no attention and problems that need attention. Teach Systems not subjects. I like this line it's catchy, I'm going to repeat it often. Teach people to look at everything as an interconnected system from education, to training, to their everyday life, relationships, and goal setting etc. Invest in colonizing areas of the world that we don't live in. Deserts, wartorn regions, Tundra. Longterm, over hundreds of years, space colonization for an infinite amount of room. Most land is used up in agriculture. We failed to introduce veganism on mass, so reducing the problem of livestock space, and going verticle is the new alternative. That and getting people to realise a good time with a few people enjoying themselves is worth a hundred mansions and fancy cars. In terms of housing, the way the government divides up agriculture and housing for example into two ministries, makes less sense. When they are so directly connected in the outcome for land use. I understand they have different functions but on this issue, it doesn't help people see the culminating picture. Everything is divided up into subjects and departments with competing interests when it's a connected whole.

True. Both videos shot on the correct days. Near Leeds York is even nicer to visit so I am told, never got out that way. I think people have forgotten the east of England exists some days, Hull was named as the worst place to live not long ago. Stick to the south, north, and maybe west if you are ever here, that's where the investment and money go.

Maybe this will show my point better: Grimsby Leeds Can you see which one has a happier energy, less crime, less danger, and less poverty? Talking about areas as well, not so much that you can't find rough areas in Leeds because you can, when you know the city.

Generally, because a busy public place with many eyes on you, not to mention cameras, and a police officer or private security patrolling every few minutes, is one of safest places to be. This could be down to location or cultural differences, the city centers I frequented feel like this, and the UK is notorious for its many CCTV cameras. I do avoid the places that don't feel safe, I'll try getting into personal experience more. I noticed Leeds was exceptionally safe, the shops hired private security patrols to complement the police when I lived there. There was crime, a gang raided our apartment block car park, a professional job sealing the entrances off to steal the cars, but it wasn't in the center or in a park. Also, the police station wasn't far away, they walked over to talk to us and already knew the gang. It's the quieter parts away from the city center, maybe out of shots of the cameras where you can get people looking for easy marks, or cheap apartments like I am used to living in. Parks at night too. I've been to a few towns and cities, where they just say to avoid the parks or the routes through them, but again these kinds of things you learn, you are not instinctively born with the knowledge of where to not go, when to not go there, For example in Leeds when I was younger, I used to avoid the nights when Leeds football team lost. It was just a bad vibe to the place, and if we were going out, I'd definitely avoid sports bars and probably stick to my local-friendly pub. Conversely, if the Leeds football team won, the nights would be amazing. In Nottingham, there was hardly the same reaction to a sports event but there were certainly bad spots to avoid. There is one area of Nottingham we called gangland UK for how many shootings there used to be, that's not a place you visit casually or pass through, somewhere between the meadows and st anns. If I wasn't from the area chances are I might not know about it. I'll give you another town I used to unfortunately know, Grantham, I would advise everyone to never go to Grantham, it has a bigger drug problem than a city has and exports it all to the surrounding areas, as well as some of the violence. They used to have a well-known drug dealer working out of a highstreet apartment for about 10 years and everyone knew it. It doesn't get much better as you go immediately east into Lincolnshire, sorry if you are from that area. Boston had the biggest Brexit vote there was, even the locals on camera will tell you the place is not doing well. Grimbsy to the northeast is doing even worse in terms of poverty, I can rip on Grimsby as I've a connection to that area I'd rather forget. The point of me talking about these eastern UK areas that are not doing well is, If I were there right now i'd probably agree with you. The area matters a lot, in other cities or towns, knowing the city keeps you safer. In Leeds and Nottingham this example you've given makes no sense at all from my experience.

They care about their wallets and what makes them feel good/bad to hear or their values and belief systems and thus their identity. Generally, they like short-term answers, which makes long-term complex problems generally unsolvable or only addressed by chance. It is a failing of education that people teach subjects not systems.

@Reciprocality 1) You are inventing meanings for civility it doesn't have. Carefree implies a level of the opposite of civility. To be civil you have to have a certain restraint in how you interact. Absentminded in no way implies civility. Again civility implies a certain awareness of your actions, in an attempt to be civil. They do not correlate. Carefree is enough. I think the reason it bothers me enough to talk on it, is the constant barrage of pressure against good manners, against 'the nice guy', against being civil with people. People make their living off of saying its a bad thing, and have done for years, so I don't think respectful behavior needs any more unrelated things attached to it. 2) Here is the quote: Then: You just told me all things being equal the danger is LESS in that first quote. I am replying to that statement. Your point you keep saying is a carefree attitude leads to being robbed or assaulted, and that people coming to the city haven't got comfortable enough to exhibit it. Which is true for some. There are plenty of people in either scenario who are going to walk into situations with blinders on. No. Being streetwise does not mean you are at a higher risk in your environment, it means the opposite. It means you are aware of the dangers of where you live and not easily surprised by them. The more I live in an area the more I am aware of how it operates, such as the dangers and how to avoid them, not the other way around. *Though agreed not everyone is streetwise, far from it, there are a lot of very unconscious people in the world, so perhaps my bias is showing too much here to be a good reflection of the middle ground.

@Reciprocality Disagree entirely with the idea that people visiting cities are in less danger than the people living there. I think growing up in a city can make you a lot more streetwise. I only lived in a city for a few years, already I was learning where not to go, how to treat the locals or act etc, I think if I had been there all my life i'd be a lot more suited to city life. Maybe it might seem that way, because someone is more at ease in the surroundings, and of course, not everyone is an attentive person regardless of environment. In this medium, I can only work with the words you give me. Our accepted definitions for them come from the dictionary, and although they can be debated, I'll usually just pull up the dictionary to show someone if they do. Then usually it's cut or dry if I am using the word correctly or not, (i've been wrong my share of times ) If being carefree, and civil is not the thrust of what you are saying. Instead that daydreaming on a park bench in a city center is inherently dangerous? I'll agree daydreaming anywhere carries some risk, it depends where though. In the center of a busy park, probably not, that would have a hundred eyes on it. At night in the same park, maybe yes. Years ago two guys almost robbed me in an area just outside the city center, in a relatively quiet area, that's more likely. I managed to get into a nearby shop in time. - The trigger for that was my sharp suit and briefcase as it was an important appointment. As for civility being the cause if you want to debate it we can, its not at all related in my eyes. You'll need to link up for me why manners, discipline, politeness, respect, and consideration cause people to daydream. *This could also be a cultural thing, if you are living in a particularly rough or high crime area, it might be different, but the person doing so would likely take that into account.

Then civility has nothing to do with it. You can have manners and awareness at the same time. Civility, respect, manners, discipline etc are not detachment, they are a way of considering others in your actions. Also being happy and enjoying yourself doesn't mean you lack awareness. Nor should you live your life according to a few bad experiences. As for happening to them, if someone is going to rob or attack you, how civil you are is likely not going to make a difference one way or the other. I suppose being nicer or more pleasant might make someone think twice about doing so, or put you in a better social circle, but to a stranger that's a long shot that it'd make any difference at all. Happy and carefree, I don't think a robber is going to say hmm that person is more happy, so i'll take them rather than the one with the expensive handbag and phone. The only thing I've found that makes a difference is wearing expensive items can attract attention. That happened once. Also looking like a tourist while abroad is a good way to get ripped off by some opportunistic locals. Also I've noticed my confidence goes up when I am weightlifting, people tend to look at you differently when you are twice the bulk, but I was the same doing martial arts even if it didn't show as much. Finally, you did say it repulsed you, which is why I mentioned you.

The degradation of civility and manners in the general population is responsible for an unnecessary amount of personal conflicts, wasted time, and general malcontent in day-to-day life. People vilify it so they take the opposite position, which represents and partly contributes to social breakdown. As among the traits opposite to this are: Disrespect, inconsideration and generally being crude out of context. At the extreme it's like anything when people vilify any common social variable (interaction/trend/discourse), they often take an unnecessary opposite position to it, which means they form opposition and resistance to it. This doesn't allow for a natural flow of anything, it's like a stone in the stream to them that is constantly going to irritate them irrationally. Which incidentally is what people spend much of their time talking about, worrying about or focusing on, something that has no material consequence or value whatsoever to them personally, only their deep-seated need to be in opposition to it, to make their ego feel 'the right way'. There are of course things that affect their lives greatly, but how someone sits on a park bench certainly isn't one of them.

You'd have to live in a small town to understand some of this. Everyone knows each other's business, and plenty of rumors get started over small things, because nobody has anything better to talk about. Like it or not you will get an identity in the place, with people responding to it. Even if you're a loner like me, which i'm sure i've got a rep for after 20 years here. So I get it. If you get a rep as a creep from some gossip it's going to stick, probably well past the point of whatever happened to cause it. My bias is to say who the hell cares, but that's me. I actively like speaking to loners and who people call weirdos, as they are more interesting than someone reciting what the news told them to say, or worse the latest whatever TV garbage is playing this week, or the 15th formulaic movie franchise. If I were more social here, i'd probably feel it more. There is a neighbor across the way that's a dismissive jerk, and most days I completely blank him now like he's not there. It bothered me at one time and i'd make an effort, but life's too short for other people's constant negative responses to you to matter, cut them out of your life before you waste the energy. Take the shot anyway if the girl is worth it. If she isn't why are you bothering anyway? All this pretending to be someone you are not advice that has infested something simple, is going to get you into a fake relationship with false expectations, so its probably not worth the time in the first place. Be honest and straightforward, and you'll usually come across as honest and straightforward. Don't overstay your welcome, keep it casual, if it works well, if it doesn't I don't think you'll be called creepy. You might get some embarrassment walking down the small town street, but that's life too.

Well, I've made a good start, I'm at 21,000 words for my novel in a week. I've never been beyond a few hundred words, as I've always been missing the feedback to bounce off, and the creative unpredictability of a writing partner. I've realized dice and a table of results can offer some of this. It takes some improvisation skills to make it work and design a decent dice system to support rather than hinder the flow, depending on your genre and style. I am however not able to afford an editor, so I will be doing that myself. I'll be using whatever editing tools are available online to help. At this rate I could have a book out every month or so.

I'd be looking why you think life sucks, why you feel powerless to change it, and ways to address that, the addiction seems a behavioral consequence of it and used for escapism. If you tackle your weed addiction, then what? You could still be in that loop and just replace it. However tackling the addiction might get you to better see you have more control of your life after all, which could be your first step. I am an expert on feeling powerless, its one of the more difficult states to be in, that and shame. So if you want to talk, message me, or reply here. There are better people to motivate you and help you build your life, but there aren't many who can relate as well to feelings of hopelessness or powerlessness. So reply with anything you like, even anger toward this, it's all good (anger is a step above powerlessness so don't fear it). A long time ago now, my brother and I were pretty much destroyed as kids by our parents in many ways, my brother chose drugs and I chose other forms of escapism. Part of the mental conditioning was, all life sucks, and whatever I do fails. The world is against me and I can't be happy etc. That and plenty of anger, (fear of anger), aggression, and frustration at the world, other people, or life. Blame, victim complex, LOADS OF COPING mechanisms, narcissism the whole package. So as well as anxiety (trapped emotion) I developed a lot of behaviors or patterns associated with being overwhelmed, fight, and flight. Freeze responses also were quite common, where i'd get stuck in an emotional freeze attempting something, I still to this day encounter those from time to time if I don't pay attention. I relay this to you, so you start to think where these thoughts and behaviors come from. What drives you into these feelings of hopelessness or powerlessness, and to start looking for ways if you wish to not only integrate the parts of you that are hurting, but eventually bring yourself into different states with time and healing. For example: Most of the time, you can't know something is going to be great or a disaster, people don't get that level of certainty in everyday life, and if you stick with something usually it's in the middle somewhere, despite all the problems or our best efforts because people and the problems adapt along the way. Disasters are infrequent just like great success, and focusing on disasters can tend to point you at them so you hit them rather than a solution. *Focusing on Disasters can bring certainty in an uncertain world. Another example: 'I don't know where to escape?" Can you see your words are in a state of flight? Why is so much of your identity focused on escaping? Fight/Flight, what is at the core of that behavior, what caused it, and what part of you is feeling that way? All that energy and thought put into running from the problem. The problems will follow you, they'll stick with you like glue, even if you move houses you'll still have your problems showing up as soon as the shine wears off the newness of it all. Treat yourself well, especially when you are in a state like you feel right now, that's a start. Don't be harsh on your wounds or yourself, be your own friend first and foremost, especially when nobody is in the room. Here's another teacher to get you started below. Follow her videos on the internal world they will heal you, the external world meh, but nobody is perfect. All the best. Six human needs reading by two different authors: For Uncertainty, Certainty, Connection/Love, Growth, Contribution and Significance https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/relationships-and-the-six-human-needs https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/do-you-need-to-feel-significant/