BlueOak

My father is an alcoholic, he's a functioning one, only requiring a few beers a day, but he has binges too, even at 80. Smokes even more since mum had her stroke. My brother is an opiate addict, and that's his first concern all day every day. Once the opiate is taken, he considers life after that. With my father its more a case that he gets bitter and cranky without booze. It's a lack of them being able to process emotions, or even sit with them. Of course, the physical symptoms come after that. They will both swing to extremes of anger or sorrow without these crutches when their emotional guidance system is felt again. I will say people are many pieces and patterns, so your father is an addict AND X, Y, Z. That's how I deal with them, I realize sometimes its the addict pattern running things, and sometimes its another part or behavior of the family member.

Yes. I fear saying this for the backlash, but it seems the most important thing in the world and requires no qualifications or assessment beyond the basic needs of a newborn being met. I am biased coming from a poor upbringing, someone who was in a healthy household and a good community might have the opposite view I expect. License isn't the word i'd pick as a first choice, more communal involvement through groups and the school system is definitely warranted in a more enlightened and conscious future.

As for suicide, i'm right there with you time to time. For me the more I focus on myself at those points in time, the worse it is. So hopefully this focus on 500 approaches takes you completely out of your head. Focus on someone else, not yourself, when you are at your lowest (which is one reason why companionship with others is such a strength) I am also aware that healing takes focus on yourself, but somedays that's not enough.

Sorry i've not read through all of this. I used to pickup girls so here is my 2 cents. The pressure you put on yourself to get laid is part of the reason you are not getting laid. You are inventing all these cerebral things in your mind. Get off your butt, seriously, stop sitting there and go approach women. Approach 500 women. Make it a game. When you get rejected have a laugh about it, and when you get good, the girl won't feel bad either because you'll develop some charisma. Somewhere around X number you are going to start realising you are good at it, and you couldn't care less if one girl turns you down because you'll just move on to the next. This is a perfect example of what I mean. Picking up women is not a strategy chess game. It's walking up to them, saying a line or two, getting blown off most of the time, and then sometimes getting lucky. It's fairly predictable if you are an average dude or not very attractive. Rarely will you'll get a slap or an ego shot, and sometimes their friend will be the one hitting on you but that's about the only surprise you can expect. If you want a real relationship, that takes time, effort, listening, relating, and persistence. If you just want to get laid, do what I suggest, go approach 500 women. Keep count. You can approach 20 in a night easily enough. Remember when you are doing this, you are not caring what happens, you are just having an experience.

For me, Trump would say the moon was made of cheese if it got him votes, many politicians would. He just courts the ones that happen to be racists, white nationalists, and nazi's as part of his voting base. If these were instead African American, Muslim, or environmental activists you'd see him playing to them. He doesn't care. As long as they say he's great. The danger, of course, is that with those types of people funding you, and on your team, that's the type of policy or flavor of policy you'll see.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/01/15/opinion/leonhardt-trump-racist.html Here are a few that stand out to me, some others seem guilt by association, or a reach, but this list seems strong enough to argue it: During a White House meeting in 2018, he referred to some undocumented immigrants as “animals” He spent years suggesting that the nation’s first black president was born not in the United States but in Kenya In July 2019, Trump suggested that four minority Democratic congresswomen, all of whom are American citizens and three of whom were born in the United States, should “go back” to “the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came.” He has retweeted white nationalists without apology. He called some of those who marched alongside white supremacists in Charlottesville, Va., last August “very fine people.” Trump has endorsed or praised politicians who have made racist statements, defended the Confederacy or associated with white supremacists, including Roy Moore in Alabama. In the 1990s, Trump took out advertisements alleging that the “Mohawk Indian record of criminal activity is well documented.” At the time, he was fighting competition for his casino business. In a 1993 radio interview, he suggested that Native Americans in Connecticut were faking their ancestry. “I think I might have more Indian blood than a lot of the so-called Indians that are trying to open up the reservations.” Trump has trafficked in anti-Semitic caricatures, including the tweeting of a six-pointed star alongside a pile of cash. In a White House meeting with a Korean-American intelligence analyst briefing him on Pakistan, Trump wondered aloud why she was not working on North Korea policy.

At first, I replied as if you were at work not school. School is still your best bet, but not everyone makes good friends at school. Rather than worry what's wrong with you for too long, meet more people and make an effort. These sorts of social skills come with practice. I live in an isolated village so I know the difficulty. There are trains and buses. Maybe get a part-time job, or a cheap method of transport. Even if you are distant, you could do an electric bike for transportation or a regular bicycle, alternatively, i'm not sure what the laws are around you for cheap mopeds. I joined a writing group, for example, and met people. You have to get out and do it. These experiences don't come to you. You have to make the effort to approach situations, hobbies, groups of people, and places to hang out. Right now it sucks because many of the easy hangouts are dying off. When I was growing up there were more places you could go. Places still exist but you have to google for groups in your area, or just hobbies, activities, or clubs you've thought about or that complement your interests. Even if you really don't want to try anything new, and are, for example anti-social, you still do things with your time, and those are things others will want to do too. For example, at LAN parties, I used to love them, and they were alongside computer nerds just like me. I used to be popular at school for being one of the guys that got people together interested in going out. I even turned that skill into a small business opportunity by organizing a club night with a DJ and bouncer. It just took asking people, many young people like to do things so it wasn't hard, I even got them selling the tickets for a %, free drinks, or a free ticket.

Friends come about by spending time with groups of people and developing relationships. Then, after hours (across different days) of getting to know someone, invite them out to something they or you enjoy and see if there is a friendship beyond the activity you both attend. This is easiest done when relating by doing an activity, or hobby. Pick two and attend them weekly. You may just make acquaintances, or you may make friendships. If after several weeks you've not made a friend, pick different activities or hobbies in your area. At worst you've expanded the experiences you've had in life and tried different things. Friendships happen to you because of many hours of shared experience, so that's what you need to do. This can happen through work, school, hobbies, or sometimes if you are fortunate enough, areas in your locality that the locals visit often.

That was pretty good. Next: You are not anywhere, so you cannot be separated or divided. Every moment/thing/pattern is unique aka infinity. You are realising here: I’m aware ~of~ thoughts so separate from them, but simultaneously it can seem I am in the thought. This is true of all things. You are in them and out of them, watching them and experiencing them. There is no difference. These are just labels you are giving things to make logical sense of it in a reality you view as a sequence of events, or experiences. All that exists is the experience happening, that's it. There is no you. No timeline. No separation. No distance.

Yes, an equalization of the world to bring shared values or understanding, a way to increase birthrates and stop people from dying or suffering alone, and a step towards stage green community outcomes. I am sometimes envious of the larger families from these regions. There are many positives aside from just economic, people are social beings and many of the issues we see are down to people not having healthy family structures, friends and a supportive local community. Its shells of being, internal, body, room, home, local community, wider community etc.—all functioning as you and what you experience. So I understand this, I hate this shift that's been going on all my life personally but I understand it. I like my privacy and I haven't dated in a long time, nor do I wish to. So it's just one more pressure I resist, but I can see the necessity of it for the wider world. It does bring a lot of negatives too, a lot more relationship dynamics for example, where we see constant conflicts being brought into the spotlight and people having to address them, and a loss of individual liberties and freedoms. It often feels like we are being squeezed, in work, at home, in relationships etc. Interesting topic overall.

Here we go. It had the completely opposite take to what I am used to.

I watched an interesting video recently that made the complete counterargument, I had a slight amount of resistance to its topic, so I continued watching. Living alone is not going to be normal in the years going forward. Living with a family, your family, or friends will be the norm, and those on their own will be on very good income. I can see where he's drawn this conclusion, given the cost of living, and whether you think things will improve or get worse. If I can find the video I'll post it, no luck yet.

A repeat of my previous comment on it: Activism achieves nothing without overt display. It achieves little with overt display but something is better than nothing. People only remember spectacles or grand gestures. It's a very basic way of approaching a problem, but some of that energy is required for any change to happen. Most climate protesters then have no further plan, which is why this doesn't change a lot. But again, something is better than nothing. You can relate it to the emotion or anger you might feel upon encountering something you don't like in your life. As people point out they still use cars, planes, and/or energy, and the same systems we do. Over time some will realise they can make progress from inside these systems more effectively, as opposed to always being outside of them, some won't. They will have to learn to adapt or make small adjustments where they can within those systems to achieve any lasting or measurable change. The spectacle is useful to get through to people who are completely unaware that anything is wrong or needs attention, especially given how our media operates, he who shouts loudest or makes the most spectacle is listened to the most. *Going beyond this sort of gesture activism does require some personal sacrifice of ongoing time and energy. Also a realization that things won't ever be as you want them in your lifetime, even in the rare case that the majority of society were moving in that general direction. You have to be willing to do things for others, as you won't necessarily experience the results. Climate work, or the work to better it, can be a good example of that ethos.

Every AI I use is still improving its usefulness to me, so for me personally this is objectively false, but I understand my sample size is only 1. I use Chat GPT 4 (Free), AI Dungeon (Currently subbed to Mythic on the Mixtral model), and Novel AI occasionally. What you have to remember is, as with the millennium supposedly ending all computer systems, AI will not end all jobs, its just what people do, they make things overly dramatic.

Though I'll take a shot at this. Stop and think what this means. Really think How? How can they possibly win without needing voters?

Well if this obvious statement is being excused, I see I need to keep highlighting America's slide into fascism a bit more yet. Apparently, he made these points four times during his speech there, at least that's how Vaush covered it.

Infinite love is unconditional. Whenever you are saying: Is love this? The answer is yes. Realisation of this is all. I say all because to give it a descriptor or condition wouldn't help. I could say journey, path, process but all of those would be conditional. You are already love, you are all of this. Realisation is the best word I have for it.

Well finally he's making the point for me I guess, so there's that. I don't have to shout into the void over and over to highlight what is happening to America and most of the world. Now people can see the choice they can make it, which is all I can really ask for.

I realise another visual example of what I am talking about might help: Here is an auditor, someone who either pushes buttons, pushes boundaries, or does a variety of different things to test security, police, companies etc. Whatever you think of them, him or what he's doing is irrelevant to my point: We have two security guards, who I actually think had a point when they initially approached him, his bike was on their land. One guard is trying to fight the auditor, and the other is not only acting as a calm security guard protecting his site, but he's also having to keep his own employees in check, so he's dealing with three people, himself, and the other two. This is what I mean about personalities that are a good or bad fit for a position of authority, its perfect exemplified here in the extreme duality.

You need a certain mindset in these types of jobs, where you engage with things that will stress you any moment of any day. No matter your emotion, you have to be able to contain it, and often calm other people's too. There are always anomalies or things that blindside even perfectly healthy or well-adjusted people. There are people who carry personal tragedy and still perform well under stress: I was just working with one guy today, something broke down, people were getting frustrated, and I was in his ear with questions too. Later, I realize he was going through a breakup with a kid involved and getting no sleep, yet he kept his cool and just needed a break afterwards. Then there are some personalities who make situations more dangerous or add to stress not less. That is why the people working with men or women involved are best qualified to make these calls. My father, for example, explodes every 5 seconds at the slightest thing going wrong, he'd make a terrible police officer yelling all day every day at everyone. However, even in your example of someone having a rough time: The person might lose their cool, then realise and correct themselves, the wrong personality wouldn't and would carry on in anger, that would be the difference. What do you do when stress hits, calm it down, let it run, or indulge in your anger?

Yes but reasonably easy to see when stress-tested. The right type of guy will try and calm the situation, the wrong type will agitate it. You can see this going on in all types of police or security videos. Which is incidentally why I love the auditor movement on youtube. Not because they will achieve any measurable lasting change, beyond some minor photography awareness or procedural adjustments, but because they stress test people in positions of authority on camera before they are tested in situations with serious consequences. When you work alongside someone like this you know it, you see them day to day; If I can see them in a 5 minute youtube video losing their cool, while their partner is the one settling things down, I can see who the right and wrong man for the job is. These people work with them for many hours a day, they can see patterns. if the police force or security company was run correctly, they'd never be the ones holding the guns.

I understand anyone can snap, or be out of control when drinking, but normal guys trained to understand mental health and handle firearms are not going to shoot someone in this situation. Because why? 1, Don't direct a mentally unstable person to boiling water. 2, Keep them in a safe place. 3, If the officers are stupid enough to ignore 1 and 2. Pull a taser not a gun 4, De-escalate. This is a mentally ill person, screaming at them is stupid. 5, What did firing the gun achieve? They are saying the water was thrown? Was it going to get put back in the pan to be thrown again? This is a lack of training in mental health situations, it's an unstable personality (on both sides), it's poor procedure in the initial approach, it's a lack of de-escalation, and its somewhat cultural hotheadedness in the American psyche, it certainly is a systemic cowboy nature in some of the police forces. You are correct though, a lot of people have mental health issues, only some of them revolve around violence. The people who make situations more dangerous don't need to be in a position of authority and carrying a lethal weapon.

Be prepared that he might slide off on a tangent to draw god into social constructs, and religion's impact on society, the functioning of the state or home as he sees it. I would, and he's better at vocalizing his entire worldview into conversations than I am. Just so you don't get blindsided, maybe have a few ideas on how to draw it back to the topic when he does.

First off: Do they not carry tasers? If yes, the cop should be up on charges for pulling a firearm vs a steaming bowl of water at a distance. Second off: De-escalate first before using force. This is basic. It's the difference between a good security guard, police officer, or anyone capable of using force in a situation; they need to be stable, calm, and trying to calm the situation, not agitate it. The cop is a danger to everyone around him. He has the wrong temperament to be in a position of authority. Third: This is why all police officers need basic training in mental health conditions. The woman was clearly unstable and he not only allowed her to go to the stove, he encouraged it. Then shot her at the result of his error in judgement. It was pure stupidity to encourage her to walk toward the potential threat to him, but also a lack of awareness of mental health. I could go on but yes it's pretty bad. Choosing to go in the premises at all, should have started with them asking her to sit down, while one man remained with her, and the other searched the house. It should have ended (or preferably started) with a visit from properly trained social services and or other trained professionals.

I know, third post about health issues recently; life's hit a few bumps to be sure. I think this one is designed so I don't sit down as much in life, but it's creeping into other areas, such as my ability to rest after work now. Just did 10 hours today and I can't sit down at the end of it without a low level pain, which builds to moderate if I sit too long. When standing, I am fine. I've been doing very light Yoga again to try and reverse it. It's most accentuated when doing downward dog, but not in the bend as you might expect, its when going into an arch of the back upwards. So i've been doing that and related exercises to try and improve it. It often hurts a fair bit when circling the back in the morning while sitting. A common yoga move, especially when at a leaning point left and right when circling. I know on the meta why this is here but damn I can't stand up all day. I was planning to maybe switch to driving for a living eventually, so this sucks, one of the staff just left for a driving job which seems to be me mocking myself :D. Anyway any advice is welcome. I am not planning to take another issue to the doctor right now, so I am looking to do a bit of work myself, and seeking answers in that vain. If it gets to a 5/10 pain regular then I'll escalate beyond trying exercises, posture corrections, heat ideas, massage etc.