julia,
Breaking up and not introducing infidelity was the right thing. I found out recently that my wife of sixteen years of marriage cheated on me 11 years ago.......and was planning to rekindle the affair last year....maybe she did, maybe she didn't.....there were some nasty accusations and denials....we have two kids and feel compelled to work on saving our marriage...
I wish she had left me if she felt the way you describe in this topic before we had our first child.....I feel like my last 16 years was an illusion....everyday I struggle to cope with my new reality.... Leo's videos have helped me tremendously....
I wish my wife were as strong as you and dumped my ass for freedom years ago....