Asayake

Idk if you've tried this but worth trying is slamming down tons of carbohydrates & sugar about an hour before bed. The blood sugar spike will help crash cortisol and help you pass out.

It's going to be easier on your digestion and it's going to be more convenient. Rice is easy to slam down but all those beans are going to take a while if you don't mash them up and eat them as a mash. But personally I prefer a bigger rice:bean ratio as well for tastes sake.

There is a paradox in your reply in the sense that it implies that you KNOW that there can't be any explanation and that we don't know what a cat is, how can that be known? Do you agree? Also when you're saying existence is pure undefined magic there you're defining what existence is, paradoxically. Do you really know it's pure undefined magic?

Multiply amount of rice by 4-5 times and cut down on the beans man..

Are you serious? This sounds like a meme but if you're serious I think it's highly unlikely it was because of low cholesterol, that sounds more like carnivore propaganda in my ears rather than scientifically sound. Perhaps you ate too little calories because vegan foods tends to be less calorically dense and eating too little could increase your cortisol levels and perhaps mess with your erections.

I don't deny you never said that. I read it between the lines and I don't deny it's possible that was just my own projection. It's very possible you don't have any aversion towards vegans, they are just people trying to do the right thing after all and you can relate to that probably even more because you were once one yourself. But that you have an aversion against vegan food or veganism seems possible to me still. That you were a vegan once doesn't matter much in that case, it's a common thing that people try a certain thing and over time it turns out that thing wasn't for them/didn't work out for them and then they grow aversion towards that certain thing as a result. I have experienced that myself first hand with weed for example. It's possible you were just sharing an objective observation, although your judgement that the people in the vegan restaurant were miserable & grumpy is your subjective interpretation of the situation and could be colored by unconscious motives. The reason for you sharing your observation seems to me to be to discredit veganism as an unhealthy way of eating that sucks the joy out of life, so that seems to indicate that you do value atleast vegan food or veganism negatively. There were many possible reasons for why the people in the restaurant looked grumpy that had nothing to do with vegan food. Perhaps the food was just poorly cooked and tasted bad, perhaps people were stressed out from work or forced to go there because their vegan friend doesn't eat steak which was their real preference, perhaps it was cause they're stressed out from working low wage jobs. There are many possible reasons why people could appear miserable and grumpy yet you seemed to come to the conclusion that it was because of veganism/vegan food and that indicated to me that you could have some kind of aversion towards vegans, veganism or vegan food. But it would be interesting to hear more about your story with being a vegan and how things really are. It's impossible to get any meaning out of your comment without some degree of projection because your comment is an observation with an implicit meaning that leaves things up for intepretation but it seemed pretty likely to me that it tried to paint veganism in a bad light whichever way I tried to interpret it.

Is it possible that your aversion towards veganism got projected onto the people there, because you didn't really want to be there? Why do you think the Jews seemed to be evil to the Nazis?

So are you

I agree that Connor is not shallow, the dude has more guts than most. He really went for it, he went all in and there's big risk involved in doing that. But if no one ever commited like he did we would be nowhere near where we are today. He's a mad scientist, although he did fly too close to the sun and burnt himself quite a bit, he seems to have recovered pretty well. And although he's a pretty weird dude, nothing less should be expected for someone who underwent the journey he undertook. His journey is an interesting example of a completely unexpected life transformation, revealing that Connor is in fact not a shallow guy but a pretty deep and strange guy, that's what's underneath the bodybuilding youtuber surface.

I sense a difference in outcome between the two examples..

Magnus Carlsen drinks OJ while playing chess, there has to be something to it

Can you change my account name to "Nobody here" please?

By embracing it, swallow conciously, be aware of the sensation of swallowing and stop trying not to do it. It will pass sooner or later, the wisest thing is to just become ok with it happening so that you don't cause yourself more suffering than necessary while it's going on. The sensation of swallowing can become a sensation for mindfulness and help ground you in the moment and bring you out of your head if you observe it as it is when it happens. Over time you'll become less nervous/anxious and then you won't be swallowing like that anymore, but it can take some time so there's no reason trying to speed up that process. The important thing is that this behaviour doesn't make you avoid the situations that trigger it, so that's why you want to befriend this behaviour and stop seeing it as a problem, so you can keep exposing yourself to these situations which make you nervous/anxious and over time you will grow comfortable in those situations.

Smoking cigarettes can make someone feel good, doesn't mean it's good for you

I need to rewatch this one, I think I was too young when I first watched it to get the depth of it.

Good scene indeed! Ah yes, I've heard from somewhere that David Lynch was influenced by Persona for that movie, I can certainly see it as well. God I love Mulholland Drive, it's brilliant. I'm going to watch Hour of the Wolf next from Bergman, it's supposedly a horror movie, which I'm pretty excited about. Fanny & Alexander is the one many talk about as being his best work and I haven't seen that one yet so it's on my watchlist as well.

A certain scene from this movie makes this movie akward to watch with your parents, especially if you're a Swede I think it becomes even worse lol. I can recommend Wild Strawberries if you haven't seen that one and plan on diving deeper into Bergman, it's a movie I like! I would like to add that all Bergman movies I've seen has a similar kind of dialogue/script style that makes them instantly recognizable. I'm not sure how well it translates to English subtitles but the Swedish prose used is really beautiful/different and reminiscent of theatre.

Adyashanti is absolutely awesome! I've been enjoying his guided meditations and talks and hold him in high regard.

I also found this very interesting, some can be read about it in "Man and his symbols"by Jung himself. It goes into this idea that your anima is formed by the examples of the feminine that were set when you were young. So your mother heavily impacts the anima as a man. And the animus is impacted heavily by your father as a woman. Hence why for example a woman with an abusive father finds herself in abusive relationships, she has developed a dependence on that abusive trait, without it she isn't whole, as it's become part of the animus. Jung is a pretty clever dude, he used to have dinners with Albert Einstein.

I think you raise a valid point. It made me think of the other day when Leo said that people who dedicate their life to chess are idiots. How would you know if you didn't dedicate your life to chess yourself? You don't know what chess is if you don't dedicate yourself to it fully, is what it looks like from my point of view. So how could you know that people who dedicate their lives to X are misled if you haven't done the same yourself? You don't really know what they're doing. Of course Leo is biased towards psychedelics because he pursued them more than most so he also knows more than most what is possible going down that path. But the same is true for other paths as well. Other teachers seem as convinced as Leo that their paths are superior because it worked well for them. It seems to me like it's highly individual. It seems impossible to describe what needs to be done without saying something that is self biased and dogmatic, doesn't mean it's not worth exploring. You don't have to become brainwashed just because you do Vipassana, Also psychedelics could just as well be deceptive and clever just like Vipassana. There's a reason people end up deluded on both sides of the coin.

Can you explain your view on the matter? What is God? Awakening?

Is Leo Gura awake? I agree, I would love to see that!

The same is true for many great artists. Franz Schubert för example, one of the greatest composers of all time suffered from mood swings and syphilis. He died from syphilis when he was only 31 years old as it was untreatable in his time. Despite the fact he wrote more than 1000 pieces of music during his life. Illness can bring a lot out of a human.

Have you tried eating vegan first hand or otherwise your direct epxerience is hypocritical. It's not only that a lot of vegan don't use direct experience to find out what the best diet is for them, that goes for most people regardless of diet. A vegan diet can work perfectly fine, there are just a lot of traps you can fall into like unsustainable low fat raw veganism. There are also traps in carnivore I'm sure, there are probably mistakes you can make that will take time to show. It's unlikely you're going to do everything right from the get go. But yes, every vegan isn't healthy, there are unhealthy ways to eat plant based.