Vercingetorix

what do you think about this analysis? (Scott Ritter)

Did you develop enough awareness to catch these thoughts real time when they show up? If so what do you once you notice them? You can try to find the root childhood events (memories) that made you develop these thoughts and do therapy work on them - expressing and doing things that you wanted to do and say but couldn't as a child and giving the child what he needed in these events. With this technique you can really nip the mechanisms from the root.

If when you grow up you are fed with the right beliefs it's easy to adopt the right mindset for being a social rock star. and as you practice it as a child it's much faster than as an adult, you have no resistances. there is no other operation system you have to erase while building the new one

I have a wing that I like and we have good chemistry. Problem is that he is more cocky \ player \ selfish than me, so when we open sets together he kinda sets the frame and it makes me a bit uncomfortable because I'm more authentic \ friendly vibe which seems to me to be a weaker frame. Maybe the difference is that he is looking for sex and I'm looking for "love" \ girlfriend. On top of that, I still have my own issues relating to communicating in a group and it's challenging for me to take attention and talk about myself \ stories. I'm wondering if I should stick to my authentic guy frame and just divide the sets half and half, and ask him to support me in my frame in my sets. Or otherwise, in order to be successful, I have to adapt and learn the cocky/player mindset, even though it feels fake and stupid to me?

@Leo Gura Thanks, I take from your response that whenever I open a set I should immediately focus on the girl I like and talk to her. my automatic reaction is to talk without purpose and make sure everyone feels comfortable. @Lyubov Ah the Narcissist wingman that needs you for emotional support but doesn't give a shit about you - I met some like that. I have a client who a guy he thought was his best friend was like that with him, for something like 9 whole fucking years. It took him an Ayahuasca and therapy to understand his best friend is a piece of shit to him.

cool Idea. your way to process the anxiety is to just focus on it intensely until it passes? even if it's like an hour? For me, it didn't really work, only forcing myself to approach helped.

For many years I have tried to "cure" myself from the need for contact, validation, sharing, talking, and getting help from others. I saw it as a weakness. I thought that the loneliness I feel is an emotion that has to be felt and conquered, eliminated from the root. That to be truly free I need to feel happy just by myself with no one else. But it never really worked out for me. Although I think I developed my self-love a lot and I can be fairly happy by myself most of the time, loneliness was never really completely rooted away. I wasn't really happy the way I wanted. In recent times, I gave up on this way and decided to build a social circle, create friendships, and close connections, and to be honest I see that I'm much much happier and fulfilled this way. So my question is: from your experience, are we truly social animals? should I treat my need to talk, share, be listened to, interact and talk with people the same way I treat my need to eat and sleep? or maybe It's just an escape from feeling loneliness and other unpleasant emotions, and I should go deeper into these emotions until they fade into love?

@Terell Kirby today I feel pretty comfortable and I enjoy most social situations, but I think you are right that I suffered from social anxiety to a degree. and for sure for many years I resisted my needs, not in a healthy way.

I mean just as I can't survive and be happy without food, maybe I'm a social animal and can't be happy without a social circle. When I am by myself and don't share with anyone my day, my thoughts, my emotions, and struggles, I tend to feel lonely, heavy, not cheerful and happy, and excited as I tend to be when I share these things with other people. should I treat the negative emotions that come up as something to face and transcend, as If I will do it enough I will become free of them and then will become happy, excited, and cheerful by myself, without being dependant on other people. or no matter how much I face these emotions, they just reflect basic human needs that I gotta give to myself to be happy and they will stay with me until they are satisfied. I think I'm introverted. I have a twin brother and we were quite dependent on each other as kids but since age 14 I started to become independent and be by myself.

@Lews Therin Onenote newest version works well for me

Wow, what a Journey. I am sorry that you went through all these hard experiences. And I'm happy For the Beautiful awakenings. Sending you lots of love!

What is the name of the game are you playing right now? and on what difficulty? I'm playing "turquoise coaching simulator" (or at least I want to believe I'm doing so ?) on medium difficulty.

@bensenbiz sounds fun @Gesundheit Jesus lower the difficulty a bit Sounds like an MMO with too much grind.

Anyone experienced with it? Basically you sit for an hour in Pitch black room (if you wave your hand in front of your eyes you can't see them), you keep your eyes open, and you don't move. I recommend doing Strong Determination sittings with Do nothing and Darkness. notes: better to do it at night when it's dark outside, and earliest possible after sunset (as the "Freshness" of the darkness play a part in the practice ).

One way to see it - in order to live this human life and experience life to it's fullest, you've got to believe in separateness and others - to believe that you mom and dad exist, that people around you exist. so others existing is a strong survival mechanism. It means you have a strong bias towards other existing. Now when you search for the truth and discover that only you exist, this mechanism activates itself and you feel the terror. But the truth is that you are no longer a child, and this mechanism doesn't serve you anymore, and you can live your life happily without believing others exist. My current solution to the "problem" is to see that It mattes less what truth you discover or what happens to you, it's much more about how you react to it. who I want to be towards the discovery that Only I exist? I replace the Automatic mechanism of Fear, judgment and resistance to curiosity and acceptance. Instead of Identifying with the thoughts "It can't be! oh no! I want others to exist!" I think "wow how it's possible? what does it mean? why it's like that?" and then instead of fear, I feel mystery, awe and amazement.

The Life and coaching philosophy that I believe in is that whatever you have right now in your life is exactly what you want. If you don't agree with that, it's because there are unconscious parts of yourself that you don't know. so the way to to get what you think you want is to discover these parts and heal them. the way to do this is through therapy / Shadow work/ Contemplation / "Being level" coaching.

https://www.onlinetrainingforentrepreneurs.com/

https://www.youtube.com/c/JosephRodrigues I really like his stuff, it's mostly about entrepreneurship and business from a spiritual perspective. I'm having trouble mapping him on the spiral. I think he's mostly turquoise. Am I biased?

@Etherial Cat yo Etherial, it's makes me happy that you agree with me, I really dig his stuff. I'm devouring his channel and courses the same I was devouring actualized.org before ?

I Think he is yellow - turquoise@hyruga

I like the idea

Sorry to hear. really awful and unlucky experience In your place, I would do everything to process what happened - Talk to friends, family, therapist, journal about it, go back to the memory and say or do anything that wasn't said and done (maybe shouting at them? ) and also talk to myself, supporting myself. Anything to reduce the Trauma so I won't suffer from it later in my life.

@Thorsten Fuzzi I'm glad I could be of assistance Lot's of blessings in your Journey, Will be happy to hear how the journey is unfolding. A nice supplement to the Life Purpose course that helps me make decisions in my life:

I suddenly had that realization that working for someone else is not really different than the middle ages when farmers worked hard to make money for the rich/noble people. Thoughts about that?

@Mikael89 IMO being a victim is a perspective about life that was probably forced upon with your childhood and trauma, But it's a perspective that can be changed, and as an adult it's your responsibility if you want a good life. a mentaly damaged person is not a victim - he can still enjoy life in many way. victim is a resistance to reality. watch the movie "Miracle in Cell No. 7". how I know it can be changed - If you will practice meditation, and start to live in the now - your past won't be relevant anymore, you can choose each moment to act and respond as you want! also if you will practice meditation you will start to be less and less identified with your thoughts, and you will stop believing them, and you will be free to from the thoughts you don't want. 10% is what happens to you, 90% is how you respond. you have the choice to interpret any situation in a positive, empowering way and thus stop suffering and being a victim. Also it's important to say that what you feel and think is valid. I believe that only after some feel understood, that his pains are understood - only after the emotions were processed, he is able to think, to see how to solve the issue. So if you still strong emotions about it I don't think there is a point to logically debate it.