Vercingetorix

@flowboy ??

@flowboy @flowboy @flowboy you are right ????

@flowboy I assume you mean therpiests and not therapy clients. I'm sure you are right, I just don't see the connection, she is not my client. how am I failing exactly?

@egoeimai thanks I think I agree @Amit you are lost on me @Raze I do not watch porn. I do masturbate 2-3 times a week though @Roy Thanks for the care basically I agree with you and see this pretty clearly now. The reason I tolerate the violence and the threatening is that I kind of enjoy the process - it makes me feel alive and at the moment, it's a great opportunity for me to observer myself, to see how I am identified with my thoughts and to break the identification, to practice different kind of techniques I learnt to deal with tough situations, to gain experience in such situations so that I could help my clients (coaching/therapy) later. to try to see if I cad do anything to let her see the situation more objectively. For example, I try to see if when I manage to stay 100% compassionate (to myself and to her), calm, honest, not judgmental - will she still be able to hurt me (sadly yes but it's really minimal). Also, I try to see everything that happens in my life as 100% MY responsibility, so I kind of focus on what I can do different and better that such a thing won't happen again? In addition, if she hits me really hard, I do not tolerate it and strike back. But I understood that I won't tolerate it anymore and in fact, we just had a talk now and It looks like she kind of get it. I told her that I feel afraid to be with her and can't trust her, and made it clear that if she threatens me again or hit me - I will call the police. She says that she gonna find another place to leave (not the first time though, every time I hint on separation she cries how much she want to stay with me as a friend). I find it amazing that with a person that most of the time I am best friends with and feel 100% safe and loved, suddenly it changes 180 degrees and I'm don't feel safe with. And to think that the root of this behaviour is that she is "in love" with me.

@Username thanks for sharing

@mandyjw she doesn't believe me that I'm not attracted to. she doesn't think it's possible because she would "do anything for me" and because most people find her attractive.

@Leo Gura that's also what my intuition tells me @egoeimai If most women are mostly attracted to character and character can be changed pretty fast, it means that for a woman it can happen @Roy exactly, sometimes she threatens to throw my books/break my stuff/destroy my notebooks. and sometimes she hits me

@Opo but if I'm really developed I have confidence, knowledge etc which are really attractive to girls. So I would expect an orange girl to be attracted to yellow for example.

through my psychedelic trips and Leo's videos there exist the experience / notion of "only I exist" - I am the only consciousness that exist, and all other consciousnesses are merely Illusions - Like characters In a dream / computer game that have no independent existent on their own. Do I understand it right? If this is true, I do not completely understand why is that so, why it is not possible for other consciousnesses to exist and experience a different reality? The logic for that is that the "Truth" is not a concept, it's only what exist in my direct experience, So any experience that I am not directly conscious of can exist only in my Imagination and therefor false. But on the other hand Leo is saying that the truth is what I imagine, so If I imagine that other consciousnesses exist they "truly" exist? Anyways, it makes me feel puzzled, because if only I exist than why Leo and all of you do not acknowledge this, admit that you are figments of my Imagination? Also, So I have to assume that Only I am real but in this imaginary world that I created everyone behave as if they existed - and they behave as if they exist only for me to experience love? And ultimately, If true, How should it practically change my life? for example, now by writing this post I have to assume that you, the one who reads this post are all real just for the sake of helping me, The only real consciousness, to explore this world that I created?

@Someone here I like your answer. Nonetheless I understand that it is possible to be conscious That only "I" exist. In my deepest Awakening experience only "I" existed. But this knowing doesn't seem to pass on to regular, dual life So should I discard this experience in my regular life? I am looking for an explanation that will satisfy both views (some of the explanations here seem to do so ).

When dealing live with other people, how do you deal with your emotions in real-time? I'm experimenting now with different techniques, and was curious to know about the full spectrum of reactions to negative emotions in Situations when you feel Anger/frustration/judgment/blame or other emotions like embarrassment/shame. techniques I use: Non-identification / Mindfulness - being aware of the thought/ "Angry me" and realizing I have the choice to not identify with it Body - putting my attention on my body, identifying the body sensations that are hard for me to feel and taking care of them - breathing to them, accepting them. Inner child - talking to the "inner child" in me - the childish part in me that is in pain, understanding what he needs and taking care of him, hugging me, soothing him. Enjoying Mindset - Being happy that a sensation arises because now I can be with it, sense it and dissolve it through feeling it. Non violent communication - Identify and Connect to my need that is behind this emotion. Curiosity\seeking understanding - connect to not knowing - Identify the assumption that causes me the unpleasant emotion, seeing that it's not the truth and asking the other side why he behave in the way he behave (in a honest, non judgmental way) I would like to know what other effective techniques exist.

I see that this question is something I focus on a lot in my life. I think I made the assumption that it's also something that everyone is occupied with. But now I realize that maybe not. That most people are just living their lives "automatically" without giving a second thought to their reactions. @Nahm can you elaborate about the use of LOA, I"m not sure i'm getting it (maybe an example ) @ivankiss does it let your respond in the way that you are happy about?

@NatureB From a Coaching training course I did in a coaching method called "Satya" here in Israel. @Aquarius can you elaborate on the purifying of mind and transcending ego process? There are situations, pretty exclusively with my (not exactly) girlfriend, that she becomes strongly emotional and has a specific need from me, and that specific need pushed deep buttons inside of me and feels like satisfying her need at the moment will be at the expense of myself. For example there are times that she becomes quite "needy", in a demand for constant attention/love/hug/sex and at the same time I'm in a strong need for space/freedom/doing what I want/ not feeling forced to do something (in my childhood I often had the feeling that I am forced to do things I didn't want so it's a deep rooted feeling in me) And at these times sometimes I find myself not sure how to deal with the situation. @Nahm It's a start what's your way?

@Aquarius what do you mean that are unable to feel negative emotions? how did you reach it? how do you raise your vibration practically? I agree that emotions are not really negative, but practically speaking do you have a better word to call them? The thing with expressing my emotion freely and openly in my experience is that when the other side is also emotional it will usually just escalate the situation. any tips?

1) you don't have to identify with your thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts, and you always find proof to any thought that comes. even if now you will take the opposite thought - you could find why it's true. 2) these thoughts are defense mechanics - created in your childhood to protect you but are no longer necessary. when you are emotional, you can connect to your body sensations, ask from where do I know these sensations (example tension in the throat - from when do I know this tension? and a childhood memory will probably come. then you can ask yourself if everything was possible, what this child would want to do , would like to say? what this child needs? (use your imagination to get the child what he needs) and heal this part.

what about these books? https://www.youtube.com/user/JoeRodriguesTV/videos

you can ask yourself: "what does she needs from me?" (she needs attention? love? see that those parts of her that you hate, are childish parts of her that we never given what they needed and so were never transcended, and by helping and giving her them you can help her grow - you can see that she is just a little girl in a woman's body and it can trigger compassion to her ) and when you identify her needs you can give them to her in a way that suits you, that is easy for you to give.

My motivation for spiritual growth has dwindled in the last 6 months. I work and see a lot of progress in the outer world - with girls and pick up, with my self-esteem, with emotions mastery, communication - I have high levels of motivation for this stuff. But not so much for anything "beyond". I barely meditate, barely practice yoga, and do not engage so much in spiritual knowledge and practice. Although my highest values are freedom, truth and love, I see that I am in kind of a fear to pursue truth. the reason is, that I feel as I have glimpsed the truth, and "didn't like" what I've seen ( in my 3 ayahuasca sessions, I will attend another session in a few days) My fear is similar to what is described in the recent topic about solipsism here (for some time I wanted to ask Leo about this topic but his reply in this thread "confirmed" my suspicions about it, I had a very strong surge of fear and loneliness when I read his reply). In a way, it's a stupid topic to discuss with "others". because even just trying to explain to you people the topic forces me to be under the "others exist" illusion. writing here to you guys I have to assume that you exist and I can gain value from discussing with you, that even If "I" alone exist, "you" do seem to experience the same stuff and can help me. I can't wrap my head around it. If I knew for sure that I alone exist my course of action in my life will be different than if others exist. (will be more focused on me than on others). also If I act as if I alone exist people may think that I am mad and even if it's true it's seems something that I have to hide to an extent. So I feel like I am kinda stuck. that If I alone exist I can't really trust others reports about spiritual experiences, only my own, and so far for me, it seems to reveal an uncomfortable truth about me being alone, and not stuff like unconditional love, total bliss... Always when I came back from my psychedelic experiences I was very happy, but only because I returned to safety, to a place where others exist and I'm not alone. I'm so happy to return to the "worldly illusion". So why should I pursue this path? why not enjoy this illusion while it lasts? it's not so bad here after all. On the other hand, I read and hear about all the progress and experiences people are having with spirituality and "envy" them, and for most things, It seems that others experiences can be trusted and mirror mine. but again, when the "truth" of solipsism really hits me, and I surrender to it fully, I really accept that I'm alone, it seems that every piece of knowledge from others collapse, that I can't trust Leo experiences or any others, I feel truly alone. And then I'm afraid because I feel that I am groping in the dark, in the unknown, and what little I have in my life I may lose so I better stick to it. another point, Is that I can't fathom how to talk to others about this topic ( as you can see here...) how can I address this Issue? it's A fucking paradox. If my experience is that "only I exist" and my experience so far in life is that even if others don't exist it seems as they exist "like me" so I have to address anyone else as if he alone exist If I want him to understand me. and this forces me to see the world as if "others exist". I want so deeply to believe that ultimately at the end all there is is unfinite love, that the story of life has a "good ending", but I fear it is not so, That ultimately I'm here alone, responsible to all that is happening, trapped here... edit: Just watched Leo's solo retreat part 2 from 26:50, And it's almost exactly my experience and conclusions.

how much time per day it took you to count calories?@Amandine

@Hardkill in my country you can get an allowance for certain disabilities, did you check for this? I have a friend who suffers mostly from depression and some other mental stuff and his request for an allowance was recently approved, it helped him calm his mind and be able to focus on how to to do the best he can in his situation.

in my day to day life I feel like I'm a seeker of truth/enlightenment. most of my energy is spend on emotion work, breathing awerness and enjoying the moment. in My few psychedelics experiences (5 profund and few less profund) I mostly feel like I remember what is the truth, but there is nothing there, just a realization that everything is imaginary, others are not real, I'm alone in here, no real joy. better forget this. after some time I "forget" this experience and continue the search until the next trip. anyone have been there? how will you continue in my place?

@Aaron p thanks @Nahm let me contemplate your answer ?

Diet 7/10 fitness 6/10 daily practices - you mean meditation/contemplation/inquiry? ~ I spend 1-2 hours every day meditating/contemplating. inspecting beliefs - yes aligning source feeling thought - can you explain? dreamboarding = vision board? letting go = accepting what is? allowing dots to connect - how do you do it? mindfulness of self love, & relationship love giving - not sure why you define it as mindfulness, you mean how much I'm mindful to loving myself and giving love? I think I love myself, could improve on giving love. how do you define purification? in the last year i stopped doing SDS, but actually decided to get back to it in the last two days.

I guess it's always good, but why specifically in my case you think it's the solution ?

thanks Is my work here is to face this truth until I learn to accept it?