Vercingetorix

One way to see it - in order to live this human life and experience life to it's fullest, you've got to believe in separateness and others - to believe that you mom and dad exist, that people around you exist. so others existing is a strong survival mechanism. It means you have a strong bias towards other existing. Now when you search for the truth and discover that only you exist, this mechanism activates itself and you feel the terror. But the truth is that you are no longer a child, and this mechanism doesn't serve you anymore, and you can live your life happily without believing others exist. My current solution to the "problem" is to see that It mattes less what truth you discover or what happens to you, it's much more about how you react to it. who I want to be towards the discovery that Only I exist? I replace the Automatic mechanism of Fear, judgment and resistance to curiosity and acceptance. Instead of Identifying with the thoughts "It can't be! oh no! I want others to exist!" I think "wow how it's possible? what does it mean? why it's like that?" and then instead of fear, I feel mystery, awe and amazement.

The Life and coaching philosophy that I believe in is that whatever you have right now in your life is exactly what you want. If you don't agree with that, it's because there are unconscious parts of yourself that you don't know. so the way to to get what you think you want is to discover these parts and heal them. the way to do this is through therapy / Shadow work/ Contemplation / "Being level" coaching.

https://www.onlinetrainingforentrepreneurs.com/

https://www.youtube.com/c/JosephRodrigues I really like his stuff, it's mostly about entrepreneurship and business from a spiritual perspective. I'm having trouble mapping him on the spiral. I think he's mostly turquoise. Am I biased?

@Etherial Cat yo Etherial, it's makes me happy that you agree with me, I really dig his stuff. I'm devouring his channel and courses the same I was devouring actualized.org before ?

I Think he is yellow - turquoise@hyruga

I like the idea

Sorry to hear. really awful and unlucky experience In your place, I would do everything to process what happened - Talk to friends, family, therapist, journal about it, go back to the memory and say or do anything that wasn't said and done (maybe shouting at them? ) and also talk to myself, supporting myself. Anything to reduce the Trauma so I won't suffer from it later in my life.

@Thorsten Fuzzi I'm glad I could be of assistance Lot's of blessings in your Journey, Will be happy to hear how the journey is unfolding. A nice supplement to the Life Purpose course that helps me make decisions in my life:

I suddenly had that realization that working for someone else is not really different than the middle ages when farmers worked hard to make money for the rich/noble people. Thoughts about that?

@Mikael89 IMO being a victim is a perspective about life that was probably forced upon with your childhood and trauma, But it's a perspective that can be changed, and as an adult it's your responsibility if you want a good life. a mentaly damaged person is not a victim - he can still enjoy life in many way. victim is a resistance to reality. watch the movie "Miracle in Cell No. 7". how I know it can be changed - If you will practice meditation, and start to live in the now - your past won't be relevant anymore, you can choose each moment to act and respond as you want! also if you will practice meditation you will start to be less and less identified with your thoughts, and you will stop believing them, and you will be free to from the thoughts you don't want. 10% is what happens to you, 90% is how you respond. you have the choice to interpret any situation in a positive, empowering way and thus stop suffering and being a victim. Also it's important to say that what you feel and think is valid. I believe that only after some feel understood, that his pains are understood - only after the emotions were processed, he is able to think, to see how to solve the issue. So if you still strong emotions about it I don't think there is a point to logically debate it.

@Thorsten Fuzzi First thing I want to tell you - WOW, you are truly an amazing and noble person. I cherish your high sense of Morality, Empathy, selflessness, and kindness. Second, it sounds like you did a really good job helping and evolving your girlfriend. Although all of her stage red behaviours are hard to stomach, it seems she is a unique person, and has the desire to evolve and can be in the long term a good partner and parent - is this the way you feel about it or not? Third, My experience is that in almost any situation in life, when we are creative, we can find solutions that are win-win. I think it's probable to assume that you could fulfil your Life Purpose while raising your daughter. Example: if your goal is to mediate, You can still meditate, practice mindfulness while taking care of your daughter - it's a different kind of meditation but it will evolve you on the spiritual path (there are entire schools of spirituality the are devoted solely to mindfulness like the 4th way). Of course, you may have to sacrifce things, and it may take you more time to achieve your LF, but it's about the journey, not the destination And if you realize that your LP can't be achieved while raising your daughter - well - parenthood only last for so long, after maybe 14-18 years you will become relatively free again. So you might have to wait for a little while and start your Life Purpose at age 35-40, Which is still pretty young and you will have a Daughter which is amazing Nevertheless, If your heart is telling you to choose to not take part in the parenting - It is a valid option. You didn't choose it! She chose it, and she is 100% responsible if your daughter grows up without her father. you've manipulated, lied and coerced and you need to love yourself first, to support yourself first, to respect yourself first - because if you don't do it, you couldn't do it to your daughter. If you Do it out of resentment - it will be better for your daughter to be raised without you.

@How to be wise sounds very strange to me that a high enough percentage of the girls are willing to CHEAT on their husbands/boyfriends for a job...

I like your stuff! I'm an INFJ (like you?) and Life coach too. About Being an effective communicator - Did you take Joseph Rodrigues "How To Transform Yourself Into An Effective Communicator For Influence Course?" I think it's an awesome course (and super cheap...)

what are the best courses that you took in your life? (online or offline)

much needed Leo, Thanks.

@susanyzm @susanyzm happy to help great, that's a solid affirmation. For me, as mentioned, it helps to see that the inner abuser is not me. it's subconscious thoughts/beliefs that were planted in me in my childhood. I actually see myself as a child and when I noticed them I change them to self love thoughts to that child.

Joseph Rodrigues Subconscious Mind programming course helps me a lot with limiting beliefs. (or even just his free YT videos)

nice thanks

There is Trickery in that 1) In regretting your imply that you can control your life, the circumstances of your life - and that is simply not true (From a normal Ego perspective at least) - You do not control The circumstances of your life. 2) You might say "no but I do control my reactions. and in that time I decided to act in a stupid and not do the course, and I regret today - In that case, you do not realize that you are in a process of development. It means that you had to act in the "stupid way" that you did so now you can grow from this. that's the only way to grow! In order to choose now to do the course, you had to choose to not do it in the past. Imagine if you again opted to not do it now and only in 10 years realize that you should do it. You can be grateful that you do it now 3) When you are talking about the past, you don't really talk about the past - you talk about the present. What do you gain from Regretting? what "Hidden" benefit do you have from it? Maybe it's hard for you to accept certain parts of yourself? the "lazy part" or any other part of you that made you not take the course in the past perhaps? 4) The Root: We assume that everything comes from our childhood. We can ask the question - what a child needs to experience so that when she is an adult she will experience Regrets? we can look at regrets as a form of violence towards oneself. The violence that was inflicted on her, that she learnt and she keeps inflicting towards herself. Is it criticism for her parents? do the regrets represent in you the voice of your parents that were criticizing towards you? and maybe you feel guilty still of what you were criticized? If it is so, It's important to go to the Root Memories and release the blame - telling the child: "you are not guilty", "you were doing what you could", "you couldn't do anything differently", "you did what you could and that's OK". 5) It's about the journey, Not the destination. It doesn't really matter when you start, because all you really have is this moment. and if at this moment you follow your bliss, you pursue your purpose, you progress In your life, you're in flow - you are satisfied and happy, aren't you? and It doesn't necessarily get better than that.

@Leo Gura Leo, If we assume that you have exactly what you want to have (consciously or unconsciously), why do you think that you choose to have this Health condition? what do you gain from having it?

My ex-girlfriend whom I still live with, truly believes that If I truly loved her, it won't matter that I'm not so much attracted to her. I believe her that she really believes this and that she is accepting me 100% with all my flaws. But I don't feel that I can do the same, I can "accept how she looks" - it seems like a core issue. To me, it just doesn't seem to work, no matter how much I love her as a person, that I feel a deep connection with her, and can tell her anything, I just don't feel attracted to her even though that she is a pretty girl, she just doesn't do it to me. I feel no passion/romantic love to her (unless drugs or if I wake up in the middle of the night for some reason). Also, we gave great sex - and I enjoy it when we have it, now we rarely do it because I feel I have to force myself a little bit to do it, even If I know that I will enjoy it later. I think that the root of it is that when I look at her for real close, while having sex, I don't feel attracted to her face? And also maybe because sometimes she threatens me and beat me I feel that I can't really trust her. SO I would like to know - did any men here had the experience of becoming attracted to a girl that previously were not attracted to? BTW when I started to date her I felt attracted but it was "needy attraction" not from "choice".

@Forestluv thanks, it helps to read other's experiences

A girl told me today that she is not attracted to me, and I was somewhat surprised. I was wondering how attraction on the spiral works? The more developed I am the more the opposite sex is attracted to me? Or mostly girls from my stage are attracted to me? Is it possible that a girl will not be attracted to me because I'm too evolved for her? a stage orange girl won't be attracted to green boy for example?

My friend told me that in Tantra it is said that unconsciously am attracted to women with same emotional patterns as My mom, and that ultimately this kind of relationships will not be happy. And the the solution is to grow my weak side\energy (male or female) and then I will attract women that are not like my mom. I would like to read about this theory or other theories that are related, that demystify all of that because I feel a little bit in the dark regarding that. Leo's List books (book number X in Y category), Books in generals, Youtube videos etc. are welcomed