Vercingetorix

@marinaaniram I am also going through a heartbreak so I can share my approach to it. Motivation: "keep breaking your heart until it opens" - Rumi I think falling in love is amazing - I see how it develops me spiritually - my compassion for people, my authenticity, my ability to be childlike without ego and defenses, focusing on what's really important - my happiness and bringing good to the world all rise up. But getting your heart broken is the true spiritual challenge, the true path to freedom . Can you keep loving the world when your heart gets broken? I find it's a fascinating challenge for me. I find that my love doesn't depend on if I am loved back. But of course it's super tricky - because the automatic reaction of the mind is to all day start visualizing all these negative scenarios of being rejected and if I'm not careful I can easily enter Into self pity. So my way to deal with it is: First: allow emotions to rise up and cry! cry! cry! this is the purification process that will allow you to become confidant, authentic, not afraid of rejection in your life because you accept and face the worst. "Sad music" helps me connect to my emotions and cry (I can share with you my playlist haha). Also, the sadness that I feel - I can feel the love behind it because truly - "Sadness is the shadow of love". so I embrace it and actually enjoys it. Second, guard yourself from self pity thoughts - no need to repress them of course but don't let them take control. don't indulge in them. When you notice them make a conscious effort to think about something productive. One good way for me is to think about other girls, to go out and meet other girls, etc. I find it supporting Third I contemplate about the girl/boy that broke my heart and about love: If I truly Love them don't I want the best for them? If the best for them is not with me - why will I not be happy for them? am I Selfish this way? why? (trying to understand myself, not judging). this contemplation often leads me to peace of the situation (at least until the next wave ). can I still love the person even if he/she doesn't love me back? I would also contemplate - Why do you feel stupid? Is blaming yourself spiritual? those are interesting reactions. good luck on the broken heart path haha

Is it a healthy defence mechanism for evolution to be attracted to the other sex so you can reproduce? A learnt and conditioned behavior from from society or my parents? is there delicious unconscious stuff hidden behind it to contemplate or is it just the way it is. what do you guys think?D id anyone contemplate it and derived some Juicy answers?

@flowboy @flowboy I met her again (we met late around midnight) - and at the beginning of the meeting I was a lot in my head and I felt awkward so I was uncomfortable so say anything sexual. later, I become more confidant and wanted to address the issue. I had a good opportunity because we talked about sex and attraction so I wanted to say "So for example when I look at your lips I feel that I want to kiss them do you not feel the same way for me?" but as I was about to say so she said she needs to go to the toilet and when she came back she said she is tired and she wants to go home (an hour and a half into the meeting) So I I thought it's a bad idea to open it up when she is tired, so I just said there is something I wanted to say but I'll keep it for next meeting.

@flowboy nice metaphor. Strangely, it did happen to me in the past that I fell in love with a girl I wasn't too much attracted to physically I agree that it's super unattractive to hide my desire and feelings from her. And I saw myself doing it with her to a degree. (hence I opened the topic) . I guess the only solution is to be willing to lose her friendship? I'm going to express my desire unapologetically otherwise I know I won't enjoy meeting her. If she doesn't feel the same it's still ok, Probably we will remain friends. I think I confuse expressing my desire unapologetically with neediness. I'm afraid to express it because I'm afraid I will be seen as needy? That's interesting. @RMQualtrough I like this plan It might work actually

@PepperBlossoms Yes I think I will share with her. I Think I will be really happy either way. It matter less what she respond but more that I feel free to share what's on my mind in the relationship. @Leo Gura When she told me she is not into me, It was in front my (at the time) girlfriend so I'm not 100% sure. Why can't attraction or romantic love be based on deep intimacy, care and vulnerability ? I think it's rare but still possible. I agree that It's not the way to create direct sexual attraction - but it can still stir a lot of emotions. Maybe my strategy is to make her fall in love me first, and that will lead automatically to physical attraction. Also I agree that I'm playing the nice guy card here but I enjoy it, I really like her as a person and a friend. @Sine Thanks I pretty much like my life as they are but I guess that Focusing and expanding my business and earning more money from it will make me more attractive. @Razard86 Probably Brother.

@SamC She is free. I didn't stop pursuing other women. At the same time I still enjoy seeing her and there is a chance something will develop out of it. @something_else I never stopped pursuing other women for her. Our meetings and connection rose spontaneously. I still continue. what happened in the last few days is that I started to "develop feelings" for her or saw that I start to become needy. Today I practiced some pick up and saw the abundance of girls and it helped me stop feeling that I need her. Now it's clear for me what to do. @Razard86 Mentally I agreed to let her go and I don't feel needy towards her anymore, which counter Intuitively will make me more attractive for her I guess, But most Importantly will allow me to feel free around her. @Average Investor Usually I'm direct about my intention. The relationship I have with her wasn't planned. Thanks Guys, I think I managed to get out of the rut and rediscover my own zest for life independent of her after a few days That I felt That I really need her in my life.

@Raze Thanks. I watched the first video and it's good. I'll watch the second.

@Oeaohoo Haha. Interesting. so the same mechanism that makes me attracted to feminine beauty makes me sexually repulsed towards masculinity? You mean like my homosexual shadow? @Chives99 And how do you uncondition it?

I would like to find books to read or hear for my recreative time that are also highly conscious. My favorite genre is fantasy and my favorite book series as I grew up was "The wheel of time". Recently i started listening again to the series and even thought I still enjoyed it a lot, I felt that it impacts my mentality in a negative way - it makes me feel various negative emotions compared to listening to high consciousness resources. I wonder if there are good fiction books that elevate you? and which

@lostingenosmaze Wheel of time is great fantasy book series. I enjoy it a lot. But still the way many characters behave, think, do - is pretty low consciousness behavior that I feel brings my consciousness "vibration" down. compared to listening to Leo or other inspiring videos/audios that lift it - I can see the emotion impact it has on me. @DocWatts Thanks. I've listened to A wizard of Earthsea. which book of her did you enjoy most?

I feel I'm too much connected to my feminine side that I lost touch with the male, the doer, the gambler, the one who takes actions, the one who fights. and as a result of that I can't find the partner i want -the feminine girl type that I'm attracted to to. I've read in the fast the way of the superior man And I'm gonna start reading it again now - but if you have any advice that helped with that please share. let's make me man again.

what do you think about this analysis? (Scott Ritter)

Did you develop enough awareness to catch these thoughts real time when they show up? If so what do you once you notice them? You can try to find the root childhood events (memories) that made you develop these thoughts and do therapy work on them - expressing and doing things that you wanted to do and say but couldn't as a child and giving the child what he needed in these events. With this technique you can really nip the mechanisms from the root.

If when you grow up you are fed with the right beliefs it's easy to adopt the right mindset for being a social rock star. and as you practice it as a child it's much faster than as an adult, you have no resistances. there is no other operation system you have to erase while building the new one

I have a wing that I like and we have good chemistry. Problem is that he is more cocky \ player \ selfish than me, so when we open sets together he kinda sets the frame and it makes me a bit uncomfortable because I'm more authentic \ friendly vibe which seems to me to be a weaker frame. Maybe the difference is that he is looking for sex and I'm looking for "love" \ girlfriend. On top of that, I still have my own issues relating to communicating in a group and it's challenging for me to take attention and talk about myself \ stories. I'm wondering if I should stick to my authentic guy frame and just divide the sets half and half, and ask him to support me in my frame in my sets. Or otherwise, in order to be successful, I have to adapt and learn the cocky/player mindset, even though it feels fake and stupid to me?

@Leo Gura Thanks, I take from your response that whenever I open a set I should immediately focus on the girl I like and talk to her. my automatic reaction is to talk without purpose and make sure everyone feels comfortable. @Lyubov Ah the Narcissist wingman that needs you for emotional support but doesn't give a shit about you - I met some like that. I have a client who a guy he thought was his best friend was like that with him, for something like 9 whole fucking years. It took him an Ayahuasca and therapy to understand his best friend is a piece of shit to him.

cool Idea. your way to process the anxiety is to just focus on it intensely until it passes? even if it's like an hour? For me, it didn't really work, only forcing myself to approach helped.

For many years I have tried to "cure" myself from the need for contact, validation, sharing, talking, and getting help from others. I saw it as a weakness. I thought that the loneliness I feel is an emotion that has to be felt and conquered, eliminated from the root. That to be truly free I need to feel happy just by myself with no one else. But it never really worked out for me. Although I think I developed my self-love a lot and I can be fairly happy by myself most of the time, loneliness was never really completely rooted away. I wasn't really happy the way I wanted. In recent times, I gave up on this way and decided to build a social circle, create friendships, and close connections, and to be honest I see that I'm much much happier and fulfilled this way. So my question is: from your experience, are we truly social animals? should I treat my need to talk, share, be listened to, interact and talk with people the same way I treat my need to eat and sleep? or maybe It's just an escape from feeling loneliness and other unpleasant emotions, and I should go deeper into these emotions until they fade into love?

@Terell Kirby today I feel pretty comfortable and I enjoy most social situations, but I think you are right that I suffered from social anxiety to a degree. and for sure for many years I resisted my needs, not in a healthy way.

I mean just as I can't survive and be happy without food, maybe I'm a social animal and can't be happy without a social circle. When I am by myself and don't share with anyone my day, my thoughts, my emotions, and struggles, I tend to feel lonely, heavy, not cheerful and happy, and excited as I tend to be when I share these things with other people. should I treat the negative emotions that come up as something to face and transcend, as If I will do it enough I will become free of them and then will become happy, excited, and cheerful by myself, without being dependant on other people. or no matter how much I face these emotions, they just reflect basic human needs that I gotta give to myself to be happy and they will stay with me until they are satisfied. I think I'm introverted. I have a twin brother and we were quite dependent on each other as kids but since age 14 I started to become independent and be by myself.

@Lews Therin Onenote newest version works well for me

Wow, what a Journey. I am sorry that you went through all these hard experiences. And I'm happy For the Beautiful awakenings. Sending you lots of love!

What is the name of the game are you playing right now? and on what difficulty? I'm playing "turquoise coaching simulator" (or at least I want to believe I'm doing so ?) on medium difficulty.

@bensenbiz sounds fun @Gesundheit Jesus lower the difficulty a bit Sounds like an MMO with too much grind.

Anyone experienced with it? Basically you sit for an hour in Pitch black room (if you wave your hand in front of your eyes you can't see them), you keep your eyes open, and you don't move. I recommend doing Strong Determination sittings with Do nothing and Darkness. notes: better to do it at night when it's dark outside, and earliest possible after sunset (as the "Freshness" of the darkness play a part in the practice ).