Vercingetorix

basically the fastest way to grow spiritually / dissolve your ego, if this is what you want (and I believe anyone wants this (to be happy) if you claim you don't you don't understand the meaning of it ) is to face your fears, face anything that scares you, anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, anything that angers you, anything that makes you even the slightest negative feeling and to be in contact, to observe the sensations those feeling consists of. If you watch and accept those sensations they will suddenly disappear and you will become free from them forever! So my advice would be, if right now you are single, explorer all the aspects of being single, anything that you dislike about it is a clue where you have energy caged that you can release and use for growth! Then after you free yourself from all the negative feelings that being single brings to you, go be in a relationship and do the same, explore all the areas in a relationship that bring you suffering and transcend it. And after that you won't be afraid anymore, you won't be any longer a slave to your emotions, and you will be free to choose what you really want.

I would love to do the apprentice program but It's just too expensive for me right now. Hope Ralston will stay around for a few more years.

@Kazman regardless of the book being good or bad, If you want to make the most of the situation, start investigation why do you feel upset that the book doesn't live up to your expectation? every negative emotion is a trace of the ego Hint: it's about control.

wow thanks a lot, gonna check that stuff. Listening to tony parsons, he's good!

@Steph1988 emotionally, I feel that I am much less effected by negative emotions, I am much less afraid to enter situations in the past I would fear and constantly think about how to handle, now I trained my self to know nothing can really harm me. I still have a lot of work to do in this regard but I see a big improvement. Also I have many more moments of feeling peace and love. I am much more honest and communicate with much less "ego", In the way to mastering being sincere but in a way that does not upset others or triggers their ego. So life feels more harmonious and free. As as see it, meditations teaches you to Be with what is, there in no end goal, no way to succeed, you just learn to accept and enjoy what is in your experience and the mind slowly weakens. So in that regard meditation teaches you to live your life much more harmoniously. But It's true that ultimately you have to take action and mediation is largely a tool for that but I feel that even an hour per day is not enough. maybe A zen master with 30 years experience don't need to sit silently to meditate and can take action all day but for most people even one hour is barely enough, our monkey mind is so strong @Maorice cool, any "must watch" videos that blew you away?

@Callum A thanks, Am reading the Book of not knowing just now @Dodoster what I found very helpful is on the free days to wake up early and do straight one hour of meditation and an hour of self Inquiry, treat it like work.

@Callum A Thanks I'm in a period that I don't have much work so I try to make the best of the free time that I have.

In Zen as I understand it, they say and I agree that good and bad is only in our mind. Take the person that suffers the most in the world, and if you can magically make him drop his mind all he will have is an experience, maybe very strong body sensations, but without thinking you can't say it say good or bad, it's just an experience like all other experiences. Also when you don't thing you don't resist so the suffering diminishes tremendously.

@Callum A I totally agree I try to be as conscious as I can throughout the day and practice mindfulness. I see meditation just as a training ground for unconditioning the mind from it's usual habits (averting pain and craving pleasure) and transforming us from reactive creatures (slaves to our emotions) to active creatures who can act freely.

feeling stress and angry is great for meditation. It's the ultimate tool to overcome them. If you can focus on your body sensations while they appear and not get caught in the thoughts, if you accept and not resist those sensations, after some time, they will disappear as if never existed. that is the nature of sensations, if you can feel them fully they get stronger and stronger but as they reach their peak, they suddenly drop to zero. Similar to pleasure while having sex.

10 days ago I returned from my Goenka Vipassana retreat. 9.5 days of Silence, almost 11 hours of meditation per day which 3 of them are SDS (strong determination sitting, aka sitting still meditation). The meditation technique is basically attention to the body sensations. In the First 3 days you practice Breath awareness of the nose area and in the rest 7 days body sensations awareness - moving through the body parts in different ways and being aware of the sensations in every part, while being equanimous to the sensations - not craving a "good" sensation and not averting a "bad" one. the concept that helps you be equanimous is "Anicca" - Buddhist term for eternal change, sensing the changing nature of every sensation. In addition there are discourses every night which explain the Buddhist view on life, enlightenment, suffering and such. What i learnt: -The importance of watching the body sensations. Very important to notice that our reaction to a situation is really not to the situation but to the body sensations that this situation triggers in us. For example when someone verbally abuse me I feel angry not because he cursed me but because of the sensation I sensed (in my case heavy sensation in the stomach and/or chest). -seeing the changing nature of sensations - when you can understand at the feeling level that everything is temporary it can help accept what is without clinging. -meditating for 100+ hours in short time can really help you understand the practice and yourself, you see things you won't see when you meditate an hour a day or so. Many insights dawned on me during and after the practice. 5 days after returning from the retreat I took part in an Ayahuasca ceremony. I didn't follow exactly the preparation but I took 1.5 (grams I think :D) of mimosa (active ingredient containing DMT) at first and after 3 hours 1.5 again. (If you take it this way the effect in more gradual than 3 grams at once). The experience: what can I say, It's the most shocking experience I had in my life. after like half an hour from taking the Mimosa I lied down and closed my eyes and It began: Like you wake up from a dream, "reality" broke up and I wake up and this place that feels familiar and i'm 100% sure that my life was just a dream, that's everything, my 30 years of life were just a dream and everything I did and everyone I ever met where just figments of my Imagination. I contemplated how I put clues in reality to help me come back to this place -I thought how clever of me to create leo Than for the rest of my trip I wandered in this place. at that time to me It felt like strolling in infinity but I think It was just projecting Leo's description of being infinite on 5-MeO. After the trip I googled DMT and I was quite surprised that there are images that describe something close to my visuals: (my visuals were much more red with a clown face). also I had this constant eery music playing in the background. During the trip even though when I would open my eyes reality returned to normal I was quite lost in that place and for part of the time I though I would never go back to my old reality (and it saddened me and frightened me a bit), I remember contemplating that I created reality because I felt lonely and wanted to trick myself into thinking that I am not alone but apart from that I didn't really feel any emotions, it wasn't particularly scary just a bit sad part of the time and very shocking. my sense of time (if it existed there) was kinda screwed - experienced lasted about 8 hours but It felts like only one or two hours, and throughout it was quite the same experience. Although it felt so real that I was convinced it's true, that "I am god and I created this",During the whole trip it still felt like everything is happening to ME so I was a bit skeptical about it still, so no "ego death" experience that I remember. Also I didn't feel that I was resisting anything most of the time so probably I need higher dose for ego death experience What I take from the experience: -It changes how I see death, as it seems I can exist without a body (logically it's ridiculous haha) -it made me more appreciative of my life as at some points I thought I won't return - "you can really appreciate something only when it's gone" -now I can't be 100% sure this reality is just another (long) dream and all of you are just a figment of my imagination, it makes me more loving and compassionate for some reason

Leo tackles this question in his last Rant against realism, basically he is saying that "there is no stuff behind the scenes", reality by definition is what is in your direct experience, so their no point to say reality in inside a bubble and and is surrounded by XYZ, it's just another mechanism to try to explain something you can't explain. I think his point is ultimately: there in no point trying to understand such things, calm your mind and and be present in the moment and enjoy the experience, instead of trying to understand it.

@Leo Gura second and third are mindfulness and meditation IMO but what is 4th?

Would really appreciate if you could share stuff that you have done that helped you the most understand yourself and what you want in your life, stuff that grew you the most. in general it will be stuff that pushed you out of your comfort zone I would guess but I would like some concrete experiences. I'm in a point that lack of life experience makes me doubt my life purpose so I need some ideas for stuff I can do that will help me understand myself. So what was it for you? maybe going to live in a completely new city/country? doing some extreme sports? volunteering in some projects? hiking? drugs?

@Esoteric it's with someone who does it for spiritual grows purposes only. @Toby interesting story, what does it mean to find a tree that will help? I 'm a bit worried to be overwhelmed as well, on the other hand if all kind of crap or existential crisis comes it might be easier to handle it in a retreat than in daily life. Worst case scenario I will postpone the retreat. @Soulbass it will depend on the experience, but I think it might also flood up a lot of unconscious stuff and makes me extra neurotic, but in that case vipassana is also great tool to purge stuff. Will keep you informed

In two weeks I'm going to a Vipassana retreat, and I also was just offered to try ayahuasca for the first time possibly next week. No idea what i'm gonna experience with aya (never tried any psychedelic), but I would guess it will change my vipassana experience, do you think I would generally benefit more from the retreat after a psychedelic experience? or on the other hand it might be too much in a short time for the mind to handle?

@Christian yeah it helped, I am slacking a bit in my meditation routine so it increases my motivation. merry Xmas @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj sounds similar to what i'm experiencing when suddenly I accept everything that happens to me, a kind of trust in the universe dawns on me and everything becomes effortless and easy, the mind drops by itself. though for me it lasts only for a few days. what do you mean exactly that it gave you what you needed? a kind of wake up call? Is it in general OK to come live in a monastery for a short period of time, for some reason I thought they would accept me only if i'm willing to stay for at least a year.

I would start with mastery since it's such a tiny book, you will read it in a few days.

Well was it a catastrophic failure? about dealing with stress and negative emotions did you hear about the Sedona method? Leo's article about it: https://www.actualized.org/blueprint/sedona-method Leo's video on how to use it for resistance: https://www.actualized.org/articles/understanding-resistance

@Diane Hang on let me use my telepathic powers... OK I believe what you wrote was: @Dragallur I'm not actualized enough to start making enlightenment jokes.. I fell asleep while trying to edit the post after erroneously publishing it... I meant to tell you that I'll try and see what works best with measuring my progress, I guess that as with any other thing everyone has his/her own style, it's just a matter of finding it.. Amazing things that happened today: I walk pretty fast, especially in the morning while rushing to work, but today I found someone faster than me, we made a mini race and she "won".. It was nice!! I ran with one of my colleagues today!! She said that she used to run 15 to 30 km, wonderful!! She's actually the reason I stepped up my runs from 5 to 10 km each.. I'm not perfect but I'm learning to be a little bit tougher every day.. In Italian they say "to make a virtue out of necessity".. When I was at home, and especially when I was still engaged, there always was someone who could do for me what I didn't want/was too tired to do.. Now if something doesn't get done it just stays there waiting.. Ways I could have made today even better: Studying. Ways I got closer to becoming a wordclass Cardiologist: No one in particular.. What I learned: I need to reengineer my mind so that I waste the least time possible..

Very eye opening to read a girl's journal like that, as usually I find it hard to know what's going in a girl's head about battling a strong urge to buy chocolate - remember not to battle and resist the thoughts and emotions that come, instead accept them warmly and fully and let them pass without identifying with them. Actually if you can the best is to apply this to the thoughts that cause your nervousness. GL, looking forward hearing about schmitzy the great and famous musician.

@Richard Alpert you are talking about the realization that all thoughts/talks are in the imaginary dimension and has nothing to do with reality? Do you still know you exist as an ego? what about working on seeing through this illusion?

why are you afraid of death? because you think it's the end? are you sure? what helped me overcome this fear is realizing that death is NOT the end, I actually don't know what happens after death! maybe it's the end maybe it's not, anything can happen after death, it's actually the number one mystery of our life! And now I view death as a great mystery, like when i'm gonna die i'll be going on a great adventure, I don't where, I don't how, but all this mystery makes my heart sings, it gives meaning to my life. if I knew what happens after death, it would have make my life boring, so i'm quite happy about this mystery. (seeing death as a mystery is an ideas I heard from Osho)

cool, I read some reviews of Power vs Force and it sounds worth reading, added to read list.

this model tries to map the different levels of consciousness https://personalexcellence.co/blog/map-of-consciousness/ somewhat related to The Grand Model Of Psychological Evolution, is this map accurate in your experience? where do you stand?