Vercingetorix

amazing

wow thanks for sharing

so true

in your situation I would try alternative medicine methods - ayurveda, homeopathy, reiki and such

be aware when you are authentic and when it's your childhood defense mechanism that are "being authentic" - don't expect that girls would love your neurosis. it's good to be authentic, it shows you where you have more work do to, what direction to grow. if you would be very authentic, in the long run you will become very attractive guy, buy only if you work hard on your neurosis in the meanwhile.

what about moments in time that I have a memory of? would you classify them as the same imagination category of birth and death? because if memory can be trusted then it makes sense to think that the body will die, which is a death in a sense.

@Emerald What you are saying just contradict my experience. It's clear to me that If you approach a girl in the right way - It will be a positive experience for her almost always. And why not? It's something very positive to approach a girl. you assuming that If I approach you it means I approach every girl I see Is not correct. If you are an available girl, being approached is something you should appreciate immensely, because you would not approach won't you? maybe most men use cold approaches just to get laid, they approach every woman they see, and they don't know how to approach nicely. But it doesn't mean approaching can't be done consciously and beautifully.

@Emerald are you the average woman? the way you react is not necessarily how most women react. My experience is that when I'm in the right energy or "state", most women will respond very positively to a Sincere compliment. It's because of the energy and the value I give. But there are definitely more effective ways to approach. if you want to understand it better you can watch this:

was excited to remind you to see them as threshold guardians, as a test: "do I want it bad enough?" but I see that I got beaten to it Another point to consider: Is it clear to you that someone else that would be in your exact place won't care at all? that the emotional reaction is totally yours? (and as you say the PMS made it much stronger). If you are willing to accept that you are responsible for these emotions, then you can ask yourself why am I reacting that way? why do I care so much? what situation in the past created this defence mechanism? (you mentioned being bullied). there are also techniques to go back to traumatic memories and change them, those can be really powerful with releasing the emotional blockages. it can be helpful to see emotions that rile up as something positive. I tell myself when emotional things are surfacing "oh wonderful these are emotions that are stuck in my body, in my subconscious, and this is an opportunity for me to observe them and experience them, it will help me release these emotions from my body and free energy from my subconscious, so it's a great opportunity, it's a purification process that will make me a better and happier person" - this helps me to lower the resistance to those emotional states and even be happy to face them. (Vipassana meditation) Another thing that I would try to do, Is to explain to the trolls how it makes me feel. I assume that they quite miserable people if they get to a point that they need to troll someone, so you can just tell them something like "it hurts me when you write this comment, I don't understand why you write it, could you please stop?" "could you tell me why you are trolling me?" maybe those are people that got hurt in the past by you? I would try to conduct a dialogue with them. show them compassion. I guess it could also make things worst but I would try it.

I see that I kinda stop pursuing spirituality - Meditation, trips. As in my trips, I encountered some truths that weren't much to my liking. I didn't find Nirvana at the end of the road, I encountered things that felt true but weren't too special - like oh right now I remember, everything is clear, there is nothing else to understand, let's go back to life and enjoy. So you don't really feel motivated to face this truth as I experienced that there is nothing to really see. Another thing is this fear that I have, I think from childhood I adopted this belief that no matter how much I wished for a "happy ending" like in the stories, I don't really believe they exist. Like deep down, I "know" that I won't find what I seek - peace, redemption, love. I see that in my life, as much as everytime a new hope and dream for something good - relationship, love, success in things, at the end it doesn't work out and I return back to zero. (of course that logically I do see that I progress but emotionally it always feels the same). So emotional It's hard for me to believe in a positive truth to find in spirituality. what can I do? maybe self inquire about what is good? what is an end? what is the truth?

well if girls and dating is a sticking point for you, you will face fears and develop yourself massively from it. I'm into it right now.

Would like to know as well

@Leo Gura thanks leo @Dodo thanks Dodo and please come back Thanks guys, love you all ??

@Dodo @MarkusSweden why is it madness? do you think Leo is mad? maybe you are stuck in the materialist paradigm? I would like to point out that for me, it's a serious issue. of course, it's ok to joke about it sure, but I don't feel that you help me by only calling it madness or posting comics... @Malelekakis what do you mean that I do not exist? as an ego\body? if so I agree, it is also my experience. but if you mean that I don't exist even as the witness\ consciousness I do not have such experiences. my experience is that I can exist "alone" as consciousness. how do you know it has a good ending (after death?) I agree that in this life I can find happiness and bliss by being present in the now, but I don't think it's wise to neglect what happens after.

@Dodo why is it so? talking from experience? Ultimately my intuition agrees with you, but I can't ignore what I experience and what Leo is saying. maybe it's just a passing phase that I have to surrender to and accept, and beyond it, I'll find something else. The beauty of it is that it makes me appreciate what I have here - other people, feeling connected, much more.

it's amazing and I share this with you. The question is this an ego-mechanism for creating a duality - unlimited love for animals and nature, but hate for humans? is there a boundary somewhere? For me, the next level is to feel the same love for animals I have an inner aversion towards, like spiders (spiderbro ), Cockroaches, mosquitos, flies, worms...and for humans even when they do things that hurt my ego. can I feel love and compassion to someone who is hurting an animal that I love? (while hopefully stopping it if I can?)

stop labelling stuff as good/bad, beautiful/ugly, pleasant/unpleasant etc. because when you do that automatically your brain will take bad/ugly/unpleasant and see them as something that needs to be fixed. hint: behind everything you label as negative there is a physical sensation, so for much easier work you can work on the level of sensations. see that when you have an unpleasant sensation you try to fix it. then instead of trying to fix the sensation (something that causes a lot of suffering and sustains the sensation) accept it and feel it, be with it. be ok that's it's there and then paradoxically it will also go away. But even if it doesn't go away you are aware that's its just a sensation and if you don't fight it you can be happy with it!

@Alenka IMO resistance is the bread and butter of spirituality. each one is an opportunity to develop wisdom, non-attachment, unconditioning yourself from the resistance. What is a resistance really? It can be immensely helpful to understand that's its a situation where you, the ego, is confronted with something that you deem as harmful to yourself, a strong sensation that you try hard to avoid because you don't want to feel pain. In order to avoid this "negative" body sensation, you create a story, thoughts that explain the situation in such a way that you don't have to feel the pain. But then every time a similar situation arises the story comes up with resistance which is suffering and not pleasant to us so to solve this we have to hit the source of the problem which is the pain, the body sensation. We have to locate and feel the pain and accept and surrender to it, concentrate on it and uncondition the thoughts that automatically comes up with it. and then we are free and can enter similar situations without any resistance! (it's the only test to see you really managed the unconditioning).

@Alenka Staying in the relationship can be the faster way to grow because you are confronting the emotions directly. BUT you must have the capability to deal with them! if your concentration and insight practices are not strong enough to deal with the emotions the grows will be slow and involve a lot of suffering. (and from the way you describe things there is suffering, so there is something you are not doing right). In this case, the advise will be to quite the relationship ASAP, concentrate on developing concentration and deepening your insight practices for some time and then after a few months maybe, or whenever you feel ready you may go back to a relationship, and see how easy it is now to deal with the emotions, you will laugh at yourself at how you clung to your thoughts and suffered, how you created all this misery to yourself

It's Inspiring and motivational to read your Journey! For me, it seems you are progressing. You can try to do "unlimited sits": if you want to get rid of a crippling problem/emotion fast, first actively make yourself feel it by engaging in a situation that brings it up or by imagining such a situation\ thinking of a past situation. when the emotion is strong, start meditating. Identify the sensations you are resisting and focus on them, accept them, see their true nature, see they are temporary. and sit with them until they pass. If you have to go to do other stuff, resume where you left in the next time you have free time. You have to break the conditioning of the mind, the magic circle that make emotions feed thoughts and thoughts feed emotions. Sit until thinking about or engaging the situation doesn't bring any more emotions or very weak ones. Congrats, you are free from them If you do it seriously and correctly most emotions will fall in a few hours, max a few days (for each one) warnings: 1)your ability to handle strong emotions is proportioned to your concentration ability, don't create emotions so strong you can't handle. develop your concentration first! 2) if you are thinking "well how long before they disappear, I've done it for hours already", it means you are not really accepting them, you want them to go away. so watch and accept them (easy to say ). Alternatively, you can do a vipassana retreat which is quite similar. so great for purging emotions!!

we use words, trying to explain stuff, all just for not fully feeling our emotions. Ultimately words are just dust in the wind. to move towards freedom you have to understand the true nature of thoughts, to stop giving them power and start feeling everything you tried to avoid so far. What I try to do nowadays is whenever I'm lost in a story/emotion is to sit and meditate and focus on feeling the emotion (developing concentration really helps in not engaging in thoughts), and I do it until the emotion is released, theoretically even if it lasts the whole day or a week. Whenever I have free time I sit and continue the process until the story is dismantled (now that I think about it it's basically vipassana ;D ).

maybe I misunderstand you and you already know this, but Law of attraction cannot bring you directly to enlightenment like they say in zen, desiring to get enlightenment is one thing that hinders you from getting it.

If you want him to open up emotionally, to cry, what can help is you opening up to him in the same way - tell him about your worries for him and how much you love him and about your fear of losing him, break down with him and cry, put yourself in a vulnerable place before him. then two things can happen - he may also break up and open his heart to you, or he might feel his fatherly instincts taking over and grow a will to continue living for you. Being vulnerable before others usually trigger compassion, for oneself or for the others. I would also recommend you read the book "Nonviolent communication: a language of life", for me it helps very much improve my communication and understand other people. Specifically, if your father thinks that you can't understand him, it has a method to make others feel understood!

@Outer Thanks, I checked it a bit. I think I'm quite familiar with this knowledge :) I'm pretty sure Leo is talking about a literal cave. Self is also an object...