MovForward

what is their decision process like when helping certain communities? is their ability to make decision being influenced by those who funded their campaigns? like it is a well known thing that putting people in prison for minor things does work but they choose to do it instead of creating some place they can help them to get out of that place and to improve their life but they choose to put their money in prison to keep them locked up

@vizual is what they are doing trying to keep society in check? or not end up in a war or not be in chaos is it keeping the peace?

i have soft skin like a girl cause i spent most of my time at home i don't know if not being exposed to sunlight has an effect i easily get hurt when punching things and get cut how do i make it like the average man skin

if you are confident, social and have a good psyche it is a gift but if you are anxious, have a hard time dealing with everyday things its suffering

as a man someone could confront you or come after you cause of a girl you don't know cause guys are more expressive of themselves through action or physical means and having soft hands doesn't help you

i breakdown in public some people saw me almost cry or be so sad i almost did wtf when i remember that thought of kill yourself comes up lol

as i work on myself more i complain a lot less about how the world should be why i gotta do some things to have respect from others and about predator people trying to take things from people, why do people act like that and why can't people just be nice i'm more accepting of reality more.

when i remember my past cringy or embarrassing things i experience it as if i were there

just had a dream where hs my class mates were bothering me and take something from me in the form of en food and i ruined it cut it to get it back and cried why do you keep bothering me and screaming in a distinct way and suddenly i was at home and my mother said she is leaving me and i looked lost and looked down

people actually enjoy life actually living here on earth for many years i couldn't see that i haven't enjoyed life all my life i was in so much pain that i was blind they enjoy meeting new people, doing things buying cloths, shoes cause they like it not cause they want to impress somebody i wasted my life in university 4 years wasted i was supposed to enjoy it and have fun but i couldn't and i'm afraid i'm not going to be able to enjoy the few months i have left there

feeling suicidal seeing how my life turned out i know i won't kill myself but the thoughts keep repeating kill yourself, die

going out and sitting in cafe alone to oberseve my emotions saturday thinking about explaining my situation to

i want to cry in someone's arms and be hugged and embraced

doubting if my resistance to reading, studying will ever go away i believe i will be blocked forever

stopped at afternoon 10 PM FEB 7 2022 will journal when i become motivated to take action, the difference, time day

finished watching chapter 1

thinking about watching ep 4 divide it up half morning and half afternoon

yesterday watched up to ep 3

my everyday thoughts everyone hates you no one like you you should kill yourself nothing will come out of your life you are failing in every aspect of your being

attracting the very thing that i don't want hate from everybody else

anxiety when i don't take action but also just sitting and not take action fear of what other people think if i fall back down or i look worse physically, and not succeed financially while they progress

how comfortable do i feel in my body? well my fears has decreased and belief that most people have good intentions i feel that hot who dress well reject me by how i dress or i believe that they think they are better than me i'm lonely and i want to connect with other people i'm worried about my future cause i don't have above 3 gpa and to get that gpa i would need to get 3.8 gpa on two semister and both semister have math class and which i have gotten D before

i'm tired of being hated i'm tired of being the cause of all my problems i'm tired of feeling disconnected from people and everything and in life

these is this part of my psyche that makes people not approach me or talk to me even in f may be its the way i express myself words convey a lot of if you are open to a discussion and even in an argument most arguments aren't about changing other people mind its about expressing their views