MovForward

cringing at D videos

went out by myself and played a game with the owner i still have anxiety

i will see how much i have to work on my verbals or if it will come easily to me

as i do work on myself jp is a good interpreter of things but also he is a know it all who over complicates things i realized that when i watched clips of his latest jre

i cried last night while i was drinking thinking of what a pathetic life i have lead

i feel like i dont matter in life

it seems to me that the people i meet are just pretending to be around me and its a fake situation its like i am the one missing i am not here now my brain no one is gonna fuck you

the truth is i don't know where i am and what i am doing it seems like there is something missing about me socializing a gap or distance between me

i think i'm physically weak cause of all these anxiety and fear in my body energy level

its like i'm asking people to let me succeed , explaining myself

i don't want to be excluded from society thats my #1 F

when i think about talking to people i see myself talking about how i used to be depressed and how i have changed and the convo leads to exchange of ideas and flirting

i'm less worried about public confrontations

Ashmed of the people surrounding me and their level of self esteem

i have not been able to sleep a single night without me trying to escape myself through videos or movies for decades

right now i'm limited i feel like i can 't improve my communication or studying or presentation skills but trust the process

i don't feel bad complementing others like you saved the world

my level consciousness 'All Criticism Is Untenable' direct experience

i feel like i'm falling behind

been told i'm worthless growing up and its no surprise i have all these issues

most people assume i dislike them by the way i behave but i get anxious when ever people try to make eye contact with me i could talk to you for hours without eye contact and if they really contact i am looking away constantly and get highly uncomfortable which leads to them thinking i'm better than them

i'm not making friends or girlfriends or meeting people at all and i think we about to move so i don't want the same circumstance to happen again

i feel stuck i'm not able to socialize and make friends and i feel like time is passing me by and won't make the best out of my uni year

about to go out to an appointment and felt the need to procrastinate and start downloads so that my pc could do something while i was away or try out cheaper mode of transportation even though i would have to wait for it and end up late

i feel even if i get a girls number it wouldn't lead to anywhere i would be wasting money on dinner and wouldn't be able to sexualize the convo and it would be an awkward overall vibe