Emrie

I feel that because I've experienced that, and now I'm working to catch up. At 27 years old. I think, as a society, we need to really improve this situation for all of us because it's really heartbreaking. Yeah absolutely, the Fixed v Growth mindset. I've actually judged most people around me as Fixed, I'm probably jumping to conclusions without a huge ton of conclusive evidence on it. To be honest, I'm not even mad at fixed people, I might just decide not to deal with them, or contain how much I deal with them to specific purposes. I think Leo talked about this in his get laid series, and I wholeheartedly agree. We all need to learn and improve ourselves so that we can be happy about our social, romantic, and sexual lives because that shit will eat us from the inside. Maybe my resentment towards these people is partly due to my own frustrations. I want to make it clear that I tried to be the least offensive and tried to not make them feel bad about how they were behaving, mainly because I'm scared of standing up for myself, but also because I was empathizing with them. Actually you're not too far off tbh, you could consider me to be the woman in a typical man to woman interaction with the two guys hitting on me. I'm actually bisexual, dating guys is not off the table. I do seek someone who knows what they're doing, and I do strive to develop myself and become someone who knows what they're doing as well. Out of curiosity, what do you mean "nobody cares about you like that if you don't do something for them"? Do you mean nobody wants to have sex with me when we meet? Because that's not true, those two men hitting on me very much wanted to have sex with me. Also, just as an FYI, I identify as a demi-man. It's under the non-binary umbrella and it's someone whose gender is partially aligned with the male gender, but not completely. I was assigned the male sex at birth, but as you said "I thought you are a woman writing this", my gender expression is not completely that of a man. Though I use he/him pronouns and am happy to embody typically masculine behavior, I also have some more feminine gender expression.

By the way, somewhat related, Russia blew up Nord Stream 1 and 2: https://news.yahoo.com/russia-blows-gas-pipelines-declaring-152121714.html

One of the things I started doing recently is cooking a whole chicken in water at a low temperature for a long time. And then when the chicken is cooked, I get the meat off and put the bones back in and cook for a few more hours. This way I get chicken bone broth on top of chicken and l can drink the bone broth directly or cook vegetables in it. It's a great way to get protein.

Basically yeah. When I was growing up, at school, everybody made fun of me, bullied me. I had no friends and there were even people who would spend the majority of their time mimicking me and making me look stupid. Then, at home, my siblings wouldn't comfort me or help me but instead say that it's my fault they're bullying me because I'm giving them reasons to. I went to several different schools and always ended like that. Now as an adult, I'm scared. Obviously I'm not scared that I'll get bullied, I'm just scared the interaction will go badly and people won't like me.

Insomnia right now. It's 12:45am. I need to sleep but I can't. I made the resolution I was going to work by bike tomorrow. That's 35km by bike. I have to wake up at 6am. I think I'll have to skip the bike because I don't think I'll be able to cycle this much on this little sleep. But also I want to challenge myself and do it anyways. -- Anyways I want to do a thought experiment tonight, imagining tomorrow in a High Vibration vs Low Vibration state: If I'm in High Vibe state, I'll wake up at 6am and cycle to work. While cycling, I'll breathe well, stand upright on the bike, and take in the environment completely. Then, at work, I'll be doing my various tasks always coming from a mindset of "how can I provide the most value to that person". At lunch, I'll be eating with my colleagues and be present to the moment, relaxed, and not worrying about whether or not I'm cool and interesting for them enough, I'll just be me, be there, listening, joking, and in flow. Coming home from work, I might cycle again or take the train. My grandmother will have arrived and we'll spend some time together. If I'm in Low Vibe state, I'll wake up at 7am and take the train to work. Once at work, I'll just do the bare minimum to call my tasks finished. At lunch, I'll worry to always have something to say and that'll freeze me up and we'll end up with moments of silence. In fact I'll probably end up taking out my phone and just browsing that for a while. Even though I removed all social media, I'll probably just end up reading up this forum. Then I'll get back home from work and engage as little with my grandma.

Really worth a watch and they go into a lot of details of what happened, crazy stuff.

Just ordered one. Will report the results. Should be mostly French or Western-European.

lmao crazy how quickly things change. So I didn't go out yesterday because the guy in question had fallen ill. I was half-tempted to go out alone but I'm still too scared to do it. The apartment is cleaner. It's not completely clean, there's still a decent chunk to do but it's generally okay I would say. It's never been this clean in months, and it's really nice having it in such a clean state. Can't wait to have it completely clean and feel great about myself. My evening routine is working brilliantly, I'm sleeping like a baby. I've also made the resolution that every I gotta do some kind of cardio activity. So today I'm going to walk on the stair-stepper for an hour, tomorrow I'm going to be commuting to work (and possibly back home, if I feel strong enough) by eBike (it's 35km), then Tuesday I'll be doing another round on the stair-stepper on top of the upper-body workout, Wednesday I'll be running 5k, etc...

I'm going out tomorrow night One of my work friends has his wife and daughter gone for the weekend and invited me to go out. So we'll go out. I'm pretty jacked and really pumped to get into it. Tomorrow's gonna be crazy hectic, I have like ... waaaay too much to do and way too little time, though. I have to clean up my apartment, at least to a somewhat okay state. This will very likely take more than like 4 hours. My apartment is SOOO dirty. Then I really want to get a run in, because it's unlikely I'll be able to do one on Sunday after going out Saturday. Or I'll just be super tired. Blargh, maybe I just postpone to Monday. Also I need to get some rain running gear because it'll rain tomorrow, so there's that. And then there's also going to be the meetup at 4pm. Which is going to lead into the going out with my work friend right after. OH! Also I have to buy food for next week! So yeah I have to do all of that by essentially 3pm tomorrow which is just SUUUPER early. Knowing myself I'll end up half-assing the cleaning and skipping the run. I'll try to go for a run on Sunday, worst case.

@nowornever21 k, what'd you recommend then?

I've done weed once in my life, at a party, while otherwise completely sober. Honestly it didn't really do all that much for me. It's really not a hard drug at all. Coffee affects me more. Legalizing it makes sense. Anyways, when are we legalizing psychedelics?

I've been getting into a bit of an evening routine to get myself to sleep and relaxing and it's been great. So yesterday I spent some time on here; then had dinner and cooked lunch for today, then had a bath, read a book, and went to sleep. I had a really nice sleep. Gonna do it again tonight, hoping to get it to a proper habit. That'll mean I have good exercise, good diet, and good sleep. At that stage I think I'll have my whole health figured out and locked down, so I'm generally happy with that.

I'm content in my little corner of the world debating with other Swiss people about how we can pay for people's retirements with higher life expectancy and slower demographic growth. Obviously what that person did is absolutely horrible and should be punished heavily.

So basically I've heard, and I generally just agree with it, that what makes socializing great and awesome is when you provide value to others. Except I have absolutely no clue how you would do that, like what do you say or do to make other people's night better? Does anybody have any like stories or example, or some tips on how you would do that?

In the last two or three decades of this century, maybe even into the next. Weed is still illegal in most of the world including all of Europe: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_cannabis#/media/File:Map-of-world-cannabis-laws.svg Though it is decriminalized in many places and even unenforced in many others, we're still a long way from it being freely legal and purchasable like other drugs. Might be a good 10-20 years for liberal countries to allow it properly, much longer for more conservative ones, even developed ones like Japan. I think it was in the video "Removing the Stigma on Psychedelics" that Leo talked about how he'd see them being legal, you'd have to be educated and even trip in a controlled environment while being watched by evaluators (a sort of exam) before getting a license that allows you to buy psychedelics. Society and people need to evolve quite a lot before they can start using psychedelics correctly, and they ain't getting legalized before that, even with mountains of evidence piling up consistently over the future. They might start being legalized for medical use to treat depression specifically and only in places like California or Canada at first but that's decades before mainstream adoption.

My great grandmother was born in 1904 and lived until over 110 years old. She was actually in great health and the only reason she died was that there was a new doctor at the nursing home that prescribed her some really bad medicine that killed her. We mourned, all three generations under her, that's more than 100 people. Did we parade her casket around to everyone? Of course not! Was it still a significant event for us? Of course yes! Now tell me, what did Elizabeth Windsor do that my great grandmother didn't? They were both born around the same time and died around the same time, Elizabeth a little later, they saw society and the world evolve in the same way, my great grandmother was French so almost the same country, even. Frankly, apart from media appearances and some formal meetings where her job was to be polite and do nothing, honestly not much.

I like to think that Lizzy had one phone call with the awful new PM and died of cringe. Incredibly based. It's dumb I know but it makes me laugh.

...and I guess me asking this question is kinda taking value, because it's "me me me tell me how to give value to others". Thanks for your post, I totally see your point. Making sure that, when I'm interacting with others, I'm not the one trying to take from them and the interaction isn't about me, it's about them. And the way I can do that is by finding what I find valuable, growing myself so I can give those valuable things to others, and then offering that value when interacting with others. I could start by introspecting and thinking about the best interactions I've had and asking myself what I liked most about them. Thanks, man! You're awesome.

By which I mean just not eating meat, I was already not eating fish because of all the mercury, microplastics, and all the pollution in oceans, plus the carbon emissions of actually getting that wild fish here. But I gave myself this challenge of being 100% vegetarian this week as well. Basically I'm only eating vegetables (no grain or potatoes or any really high-carb food) and I get my protein from eggs and protein powder (I do a lot of strength training at the gym and one of my goals is to build muscle). I'm honestly feeling really fine and not feeling like I'm missing protein or really hungry in any way. The main reason for it is that I want to lower my carbon emissions and removing meat is an incredibly efficient way to do that. I mean I was already not emitting a lot (no car, not a lot of spending on technology and clothes and things, taking the train when I travel, eating organic only) but the meat, especially increased protein for muscle-building, was still one big area that I decided to cut off. What are y'all's thoughts on vegetarianism?

I'd start with the life purpose course. Figure out your life purpose first, then go and see how your industry is typically monetized. E.g. I know a lot of independent artists rely on Patreon, doing small shows, releasing songs on Spotify (and probably others), whereas a programmer will either find a good programming job in a company or make their own company and get funding from investors and whatnot. Maybe even find a new way to monetize in your industry, or take something that already exists and expand it, or bring your own spin on it. I don't think Leo has much to talk about on this subject. He did some internet marketing before Actualized.org but now his monetization of his work is very very basic bare minimum. YT ad revenue, the Book list and LP course, and Patreon. He might have some investments in stocks or other stuff that bring dividends, maybe some other things that bring him money, I can't possibly know where he gets all his money ofc but he probably doesn't have much else.

Some really positive and good news heading into this week, feeling great! So first of all I've decided to be 100% vegetarian for the week. No meat whatsoever. And it feels really great! For example, today's meals were some mushrooms, some eggs with some olive oil, salt, pepper, and fresh rosemary that I picked from my parents' garden yesterday at lunch time. It tasted amazing and fresh and I felt full after. I did have several protein shakes throughout the day, 5 in total, one pretty much as I woke up, one some time in the morning, one at lunch, one in the afternoon, and one with dinner. The shakes are made with whey protein (which I'm going to switch to plant protein but I need one that doesn't taste like vomit), unsweetened cocoa powder, and some maca. With dinner I had a large salad with some tomatoes and more eggs, and plenty of seasoning again, it tasted amazing and fresh again. And the lack of meat didn't feel bad at all, I really don't miss it in any way. In total I had around 70g of fat, mostly from the eggs, 90g of carbs, mostly from the maca, 40g of fiber, mostly from the cocoa, and like 150g of protein, from the shakes and the eggs. I do need to eat a decently large amount of protein because I'm working my muscles a lot, I'm going for around 150 because that's about 2.2x my lean body mass (I weigh 85kg and have 20% body fat, I know 20% is a lot but I'm hoping to just build my muscles to get the percentage of body fat down, like instead of burning fat and increasing muscle, I'm just increasing muscle and that'll get the proportion of fat down, I'm also just not eating any high carb foods so that should help with the burning). -- Some other good news is I've really been contemplating the whole "Energy of Life v Death" that Owen Cook talked about, that Leo linked in his blog. This has been really amazing, I've realized how I've been sooo deeply connected to the energy of death and how that's really been making me miserable as hell. And I've completely reframed my life to be connected to the energy of life instead. And it's been absolutely amazing, I feel much happier, much more energetic, much more confident, and just much better as a whole! I also feel much more motivated now. Like previously I would tell myself "oh I should cook dinner and eat healthy" but that was like "work" and all I wanted to do was just "relax", so I'd go and buy some junk food and waste my evening on social media, video games, and TV shows. Well NO MORE! Now, all of this stuff is just energy of death and it's not real life, real life is cooking and eating a healthy colorful meal, real life is going outside to a park and walking, real life is going to sleep at a reasonable time to have a great night, real life is having a clean apartment that doesn't feel bad to live in! And it's completely effortless! -- So yeah I'm really hopeful for this week and I feel really well right now. I can't wait to keep this momentum going and having it snowball into bigger and better things!

Hi I'm wondering if anyone is seeing a therapist? I'm not depressed or have any real mental disorders, but I've been considering going to see a therapist. It's so that way I have someone to talk to and confide in about this stuff, in a safe space. Of course, there's the forum and my journal, and they're definitely outlets that allow me to talk about this stuff but it's not the same as in person. And there's also some stuff I would probably keep to therapist-only, not even here. So yeah I was wondering if anyone is seeing one or has seen one and has any comments?

Went for a run today. In Geneva there is this annual "Course de l'Escalade" (literal translation would be Race of the Climb) to commemorate the time the Genevans beat the Savoyards that were invading. It's a 7.2 km run and there's like 20'000 people who come. It happens early December I've basically never really run in my life and I asked my brother if he thought I could do it, he said yeah so I decided to try it out by going on a run today. I think that yeah, I can definitely do it. I've got 6 weeks to train, I'm gonna go twice a week, it'll be a good time and it's a nice goal to have for myself.

@SonataAllegro That is actually fine because that's where I am. I need to do this ground work before I can go along the spiritual path. Thanks everyone.

I've been considering going to a therapist. It's so I have someone to talk to about some stuff that I really reaaally don't want to keep to myself, but also I don't have anyone to talk to. Like I'm going into this thing where I'm developing my social skills and my dating life and what I really need is some kind of support system. Someone who I can confide in and be vulnerable with. Because I know it would be a safe space. So yeah I think I'm gonna get myself a therapist. -- In other news, I've been breaking out of my comfort zone. Like ... it was so bad you need to realize something, here. I have a hard time talking to people in the most basic, most casual way possible. I would pass someone I know at the cafeteria and wouldn't say hello, I would go to the same goddamn grocery shop and checkout and see the same goddamn people and wouldn't say much more than hello and goodbye. It was that bad. Today and yesterday I made a point to properly have an interaction, "hello, how are you doing, alright I'm gonna go, have a nice day". VERY VERY VERY BASIC conversation and I wasn't even doing THAT! Someone smiled at me today for doing that. I felt proud.