Emrie

Leo I'm wondering. Hypothetically, if every single human being on Earth were at least Stage Yellow or even Turquoise, then could you consider communism to be possible? And would you consider it better than capitalism or even socdem? I realize it's a big if but I'm just wondering if you think there's something fundamentally flawed in communism that just makes it impossible regardless of how developed humans are. And if you do agree that it's possible and better, can we then agree then that what we need to be doing is working to develop humanity spiritually and through the spiral instead of just attacking all the socialists and saying "they don't understand anything!". I realize again it's very difficult and you can't skip stages and you have to meet people where they're at but we can get there, evolution happens. Or we all die to climate change in the next few hundred years. Reforming education and legalizing psychedelics would provide a huge boost. Of course the people currently in power don't want either of these things because that would upset the balance of power, and we can't have that.

I actually agree with this 100%, thank you! I always assumed humans needed to develop themselves massively before being able to do communism realistically. Most communists don't like the human nature argument and say that people are only selfish because of capitalism, but this is a gross misunderstanding of human psychology. It doesn't take into account Ego development, Spiral Dynamics, and spirituality. Thanks for this, I'll look into it. I don't like social democracy still because it's still capitalism and I really really dislike capitalism, but yeah. -- Actually I was thinking about your video on escaping wage slavery and had an insight. What you're advocating for, becoming a massive value provider, is exactly the spirit that I would want to capture in building a new society. You've escaped wage slavery, which ultimately I believe is what most socialists and communists want, they want to abolish wage slavery. And the way you conduct business, you provide the world with massive amounts of value and getting very little, comparatively, in return, but you have your needs met and can enjoy your life. Essentially this is what we want. But we'll need to develop ourselves massively before being able to do any of that at scale. Only the most developed people can do that for now.

Would really love to see such a video, honestly. I'm pretty set in my perspective and would be very happy to see it challenged properly. Can you point me to anything? One example of a contradiction, or at least some books to read about the history of communism or whatever research you've done in the subject, since you seem to have done some.

I forgot how much I enjoy coding. Jesus christ! It's been real.

Can't even celebrate the small victories anymore. Today was super sunny, not a cloud in the sky. Yesterday and the day before, it snowed. So today I went skiing, and it was a magical time. The snow was perfect, the weather was perfect, it was a new resort so it was nice seeing something new, I loved it. A year ago I would have just stayed home, watched some TV shows or played some video games. I felt good that I'd come out of my house, reconnected with nature, and enjoyed a nice Sunday. ...But also I was alone. I don't have any friends, so I was alone. And I felt bad, and it made me bitter. I couldn't even celebrate the fact that I'd come out of my house because I was all alone.

There's a very high likelihood I'm going to be getting a new job as a developer. I've had several interviews with HR and team leaders, I'll get one big one with the director of the department on Thursday. And so far it's been going really well, they've been very approving and happy and open to me getting this job. I'm glad to be joining this new job for a few reasons. 1) I'm kinda done with my current job, I've gotten almost everything I could get from it. 2) The new job is just better, I would say. Like in terms of what you actually do on a day-to-day basis. 3) The new job is more marketable. In the CV it looks better and shows I have experience. Lot of value there. Of course my anti-capitalist mind goes straight to "capitalism is forcing me to have a pretty CV so I can literally not starve and freeze to death", but hey.

I've gotten to a point where I'm only ever going to the gym because I like it. I don't care about being healthy, I don't care about gaining muscle, I don't care about any of the results I may get from exercising. I just like it. It's an activity that I enjoy. And I like that, I think it's nice.

You know bad mental health is a vicious circle. I'm a part of this group that meets once a month, it's a way for me to meet new people, hang out, make some friends, go out. There's a meetup today actually. Originally I said I'd go, but I ended up not going. And I asked myself "Why don't I wanna go?" And my answer was "I'm just not feeling it and I'm feeling kinda depressed today". But of course hanging out with other people might really help me and my depression. It could put me in a good mood, and it would be nice to have some level of human contact with other people. Vicious. Fucking. Circle.

Idk maybe we don't have to look at whole human beings with complex personalities that are always changing and judge their entire character just based on whether or not they watch porn and how many people they've slept with. Y'all are attaching so much importance to these honestly really superficial things and I don't see how they affect your relationships all that much. What matters in a relationship would be things like if you care about each other, good communication, attachment styles and love languages, and a whole bunch of other stuff too. Sexual compatibility too, of course, and I could hear an argument that someone's masturbation habits and sexual history may play a role in that, but it's a huge stretch to me between "may or may not play a role in exactly one aspect of the relationship" to "This person as a whole is a degenerate and I can't date them under any circumstances".

I am SOOOO DONE WITH THIS FUCKING TEAM. I tell 'em good evening. They tell me "You're not gonna come drink with us?" I tell 'em "I don't even drink alcohol" They tell me "It's not an excuse! You can drink non-alcoholic drinks" I tell 'em "Yeah but let me have this excuse, idc". They tell me "Alright well have a bad evening since you're not gonna come drink with us" I tell 'em "Fantastic!" and then I leave. -- Issue I have with this whole interaction is that it's very clearly showing me as not wanting to engage with the team socially. I've pretty much left this team completely in my mind. Which would all be fine if I had another job lined up, but I don't. When I'll be interviewing for another job even within the company, they'll see me leave to these mysterious meetings and very likely will suspect that I want to leave the team. And that's not really ideal, I need to keep it a secret. They can't know I want to leave because that'll tarnish their opinion of me.

Been radicalizing myself incredibly heavily into communism recently. Got a bunch of books. It's crazy how deep the capitalist rabbit hole goes.

Today was crazy, wow. I know I know it's a coincidence but y'all God threw me a curveball today. So like, there's this restaurant near work that serves pretty decent burgers, yeah. It's a nice place, but we never go because we're always like busy and got things to do and it takes a long time we don't wanna take extended breaks. But yeah they've decided that tomorrow, we're going to eat at that restaurant. We haven't been to this restaurant for like a year but yeah, they've decided tomorrow. This would be fine and all .... except I'm in Home Office tomorrow. And I'm not in Home Office for no reason, I'm in Home Office because I have a meeting with HR to discuss changing jobs at the company and leaving the team. The meeting will be remotely, not in a meeting room. Since I'm doing it remotely, it would have been done from by desk PC and that's just unacceptable, And HONESTLY??? It's crazy, man. EXACTLY THE DAY that I'm getting things moving to leave the team, is exactly the day my team gets together to have a meal all of us together. So there you go! It's crazy symbolic that I'm very much leaving this team behind like this. EDIT: People today asked me "why are you in HO tomorrow, can you not skip it today?" I told them no I'm in HO because I want to be in HO at least once this week and it fell on Wednesday. Realistically I could have done HO any other day but, hey, they don't need to know that.

@Razard86 Dude thank you so much I had no idea. Wow there are so many people I'm going to ignore right now.

Didn't talk about it but yesterday was International Men's Day. Reminder that men are disproportionally affected by depression, suicide, violent crime, and prison, when compared to women (would love to see more comprehensive stats with other genders but here we are). Depression and suicide are also exacerbated by transgenderism and bisexuality. FUN FACT: I am non-binary but present as a man and was assigned male at birth, and I'm a bisexual. Meaning I AM INCREDIBLY AT RISK. ^ These horrible stats are NOT because of "feminism" and "boys can't be boys anymore". On the contrary they're because of people spewing that bull. Toxic Masculinity. This is mainly why I decided to stop identifying with the shitty male gender. I don't want to associate myself with that toxic masculinity.

It's crazy how our society just doesn't really seem to care at all about mental health. Like it's just not a priority in the way we've built our society. I'm supposed to slave myself to an oppressing capitalist class that doesn't care about anyone or even anything but money. And there's just no space in that environment for me to have a mental illness. And you could say there are therapists and resources available to help me but like ... I still need money for that. So I still need a job for that. And I can't just go to my boss and say "hey boss listen I'm not doing well, here are all the things I'm doing to try and make it better, but please understand my performance might not be great and it's because of my depression". There will be no empathy or care. I have to work work work and I can't have a pesky depression come in the way of that. By the way, FUCK CAPITALISM.

I don't know why but I don't really feel depressed tonight, like yeah I feel pretty normal tonight. I really don't know why because I'm not doing anything different than usual.

So anyways I did none of these things. I'm depressed, leave me alone.

https://apnews.com/article/colorado-decriminalizes-psychedelic-mushrooms-4feb4848005fc355eef7b54b451460be Victory! Huge step forward. It allows everyone 21 and older to grow, possess, and share them. Not allowed to sell them. Also allows to create special healing centers where they can be used under supervision.

Can't wait for it to be all psychedelics everywhere in the world. Might be a while though.

Oh wow that's amazing! That's so much!

Not me making the lewdest comment of all time. Just a friend. A colleague asked another colleague for help, they were busy so they said they'd help later, exact phrase used was "I'm coming". So my friend (absolutely my friend, not me) said "Yeah, you are".

Had a very weird "Fuck the Patriarchy" moment today. So I started taking Salsa dance classes and today we learned some couple moves. Obviously the first one is the spin, it's the easiest one. And literally what I do as the leader of the dance in this situation for the spin and raising my hand accompanying my partner's hand as they do the actual spinning, but I'm just standing there. I felt like it was a huge scam because I felt I was doing so little while asking so much to my partner, like wtf. And of course in the real world you don't the gender-neutral language I used up here but man and woman, instead. So yeah I love that I'm learning to dance in couples but also damn. Fuck the Patriarchy!

I'm at such a low point in my life, it's really bad... I was on break this morning at work and I was just standing there with my colleagues. And like ... I was just standing there, I didn't want to engage in the conversation, I didn't want to talk to them or listen to them or anything I was just in my own thoughts and feelings, and they were really bad thoughts and feelings. I just felt tired and sad and like I just didn't want to be there. In the afternoon I even skipped break and just kept working because at least work felt better than break. So yeah really bad emotions and thoughts these past few weeks. Leo's blog post on weak words really rang true to me and I definitely need to implement that in my life. In any case I'm going to do several things: 1) Tomorrow I'm going to work by bike, it'll be my first time, I don't know how long it'll be, it'll be mostly flat so shouldn't be too much effort. 2) Saturday I'm gonna run 8k and I'm gonna run up and downhill. I'm gonna take it very very slowly of course but yeah. It'll be my longest run. 2) Sunday I'm gonna go on a hike, I've already planned the route, it'll be several hours and will be absolutely worth it. 3) Monday I'm gonna call a therapist's office, I just looked it up, there's one close to where I live. I hope they're good.

You know sometimes I wonder, when we fix society, what humanity will think of us. Like when we have basic human fucking rights guaranteed for everyone, when we end world hunger, poverty, and homelessness. And we have healthcare and education. Basically when we finally get our shit together and stop constantly raping each other. The fact that most people never talk about neo-colonialism... People'll be all "How could you people let this bullshit go on? And why didn't you do anything about it earlier?"

I'm at a stage in my life where an ideal date for me would be to seize the means of production, overthrow the patriarchy, and rise up with my fellow workers to take back what is rightfully ours.