Rahul 2paradox

Hi all , I really need your perspective on this. As lots of us , i too grew up in a very toxic environment. So , got on personal development work, not just because of trauma also because i enjoyed it a lot. Few years back I been to therapy for a year , but it didn't work ,the therapist was not good and also because i was too much in victim mood and was playing the blame game. Did Therapy+ medication only to realise that it's not the answer and i have to face all my fears head on. I find a good diet , healthy sleep pattern and nootropics worked way better for me then those drugs which comes with so my side effects and messes your brain up. I got my diagnosis of bpd but to be honest i don't connect with that diagnosis at all. I have read so much about bpd , it feels so alien i don't connect with it at all. Yes , i have my share of neurosis but im not as dysfunctional as a typical bpd individual. When i talk to an depressed individual i can connect to it , when i talk to an person having anxiety i can connect with it , to a person having memory loss , brain fog , concentration issue, family issues , etc i can connect to that typical stuff but to borderline personality disorder- Nahh!! No offense but find them too messed up for me. Even while i was on Therapy i find personal development work was helping me more then therapy. I feel doing the work by myself, doing the shadow work , meditation, kriya yoga etc. I can heal myself more. Yes , having a Therapist makes the work much more easier but man i can't afford it at all. Throughout these years i have accumulated tons and tons of traumas and unconscious beliefs which i need to heal. I have wasted so much of time. So much of opportunities was lost cause of them. I've lost a lot. I can go my way collecting money and find a good therapist but i don't find our modern psychologist that developed vs our spiritual work where i can go to the core. Tons of potential yet tons of resistance Tons of chances yet tons of confusion Tones of opportunities yet tons of depression Tons of clearity yet tons of confusion Tons of understanding yet tons of emptiness One Leo's video and it gives me so much of clearity which therapy never did. Just a video of his and it gives me a long road map to work.

A shoulder touch is a fine move in beginning. It usually builds the trust ( if she's not a - don't touch me eww type ) other body parts can be too early , so starting with shoulder it's fine. You gonna have to touch her a some point later on , so get these basics done as early as possible saving yourself further awkwardness. While talking to her just believe in your mind that u'r the best person she"ll ever talk to and that she already likes you , it will transfer in your conversation too , don't leave the blank space in between being in your mind and analyzing everything in the moment. Remember Leo's words - " logic don't matter when your talking to girls" , just focus on escalating her emotions , how you make her feel is important, not what your talking about. It's just the emotions and feels , not intellect or logic which attracts her. Don't overthink much. Even if your not confident and end up touching her shoulder creepily , you know she would be able to sense easily that u'r faking and under confident , otherwise if you very natural and in your zone, if you get very close, she"ll be fine.

@Buck Edwards Watch some better documentaries 😂

If you can survive on mexican food , you can survive on indian food. If you can survive on Moroccan food , you can survive on indian food, if you can survive on thai food you can survive on indian food. Because all of them have similar eating culture. Here , After every 200km culture and language change , so the typical "spicy food" is just hyped. Majorly Northern do eat spicy but if you go to south or east , the taste is entirely different.

@bebotalk A large part of medicine is biased and very narrow minded and heavily manipulated. Those techniques works ? For bunch of people - yes but for other bunch of people - No. We spend days , months and years to find what would work particularly for us. Mental illness is not false , they're just sort of a approximation. At the end of day it's just theory and concept, which don't really exist but it's important for communicating prospective and to maintain an order ( sort of like money, money don't really exist but is just a concept and that concept is important in society) Let's just say for now a particular disorder is not treatment , few years later new therapy appears and it becomes treatable. Medicine says this disease and disorder isn't treatment but maybe it's just lack of study and research. So , you cant really trust medicine fully. For a lot of people, antidepressants are life saver but hey , they are the cause of suicide more rather then the disorder itself. It depends on the levels of psychological development of a person that they can and want to do the work by themselves. A stage green and yellow individual might handle their psychological matter themselves but surely not all blue and orange individual would be able to. Healing urself is an emotional labour, having a professional by your side a is great relief but you take that emotional labour in your hands if that the option fits for you.

My meditation journey started 5-6 years back. I started meditating on my terrace , back then I was just a beginner , later I been to this 7 day meditation retreat . There we had to sit for around 7-8 hours. First 2 days went normal but as I went more deep in meditation the more I started having this very intense cluster headache just above my left eye , in frontal bone . It was so painful I couldn't explain ,it was like my skull gonna explode .It started from my left eye and went through my whole head , back neck ,also we had to sit there without moving , that meaning I sat there in strong determination . Till the last day the headache went more and more intense . It was like I'll blast any second . I continued my practice coming back to home I still had those headache but they got lesser and lesser month by month and disappeared finally . Some days I still have these headache, I know its common to have headache but still I sometimes have this cluster headache above my left eye and the pain travels through my whole brain to spine . Except meditation I never experienced cluster headaches . It isn't any kundalini awakening symptom . I did had cervical spondylosis which I healed in vipassana retread , healing it was as painful as these headache ,I did sat there in strong determination for 10 hours and I could feel my spine nerves unblocking itself just by me focusing on the pain sensation and concentrating on it . There are some minor blockages left to clear out which I will but this headache I'm not able to find the reason . Only when I'm doing vipassana that's where all this deep rooted pain starts rising , while in other forums of meditation I don't feel any painful sensation .

I understand, i too m into dance . I have done lot's of meditation, hath yoga and stuff but just dancing for few hours gets me more deeper into myself. No matter how much i meditation, dance works like magic , i too find dancing more meditative then just sitting. Those days when im dancing regularly i feel more expressive more connected then any amount of meditation. Meditation is ok just dance makes me fully blissful too. Physical movement with awareness is important for me too. It's like physical expression open ups the body so that the soul can shows it's true nature. I remember the times when there was no sense of self while dancing no thoughts , all empty.

I been trying different patterns of eating meals ,3 meals a day doesn't work for me much , i feel too lethargic and lazy in that where i need to take a nap in day time. I shifted to 2 meal and im feeling great where i added lots of fats and clean protein and decreased carbs. I find ketogenic diet with intermediate fasting works best for me + feels way more energetic and focused. Somedays i feel great on one meal a day and my meditations are more deeper with ease. My energy levels are great too. Found this vegan bodybuilder whose been eating one meal a day for years , he mediates and does yoga and been world drug free deadlift champion and holds several national records too. He eats his meal after 23 hours of fast and been doing this for a decade.

@Arthogaan Yeah, i got it . I wrote this post in a angry state . Im again reading it and it looks like a different person wrote it to me too. seeing the flaws , trying to defend myself but not in a proper way . Self doubt did peep through me that moment. @Arthogaan @mmKay @Hello from Russia

There are these friends of mine constantly bringing the point that i belong to well financially stable family as cheesy comments and taunts. Mostly in my friend circle im the wealthiest from them all. So their point is that i don't have to much worry about money matters and they are still struggling to pay for usual stuff , so i don't know much about the world , i have it easy and they are struggling so they're better. Im not like super privileged or high class but just belongs to upper middle class and the country were i live in it's a big deal to even just to be from middle class. It's not like im buying some crazy ass luxury stuff , i just prefer good brands vs they usually go for the cheapest thing possible. I always prefer quality over cash. Im very grateful for the things i have and where i belong from. My dad is the one of few people who came out of a small Town and settled in a big city and started from zero. My grandfather used to tell us how cast system was a big deal back then and how tough it was to live in that times. When i usually go to my relatives homes , my cousins homes , it's usually understandable for me about my financial conditions and to be grateful. I never brag about it at all. The world knows how strict Asian parents are . Im forced to do a degree which i hate . Doing a thing which takes my whole day and i know i"ll never gonna use this degree. Something else is also going away in this except money, which is my time, the time which will never come back. I can't go anywhere without their permission. RICH BUT STILL A SLAVE . SLAVE OF MY OWN PEOPLE. All what people see is the outer stuff that he's living in a big house, have car, have an expensive mobile, wear branded shoes.They don't know what goes inside. I grew up in dysfunctional environment and it's still like that but they don't see it. I struggled from depression, bpd , addictions but i don't talk about it to anyone. My family don't allow me to go for therapy, so i myself don't have much money for therapy. It's expensive, can't cover it from pocket money even. Im 23 and my dad never had a normal conversation with me except " how much marks you score , score more, buy more books , study more " . Except this we never ever talked about anything but they don't know this. I never talk about my family environment because its way different then their's homes where they're talking like friends with each other without any fear. My mom and dad had crazy fights with each other till this day but thats not what the world see in a "so called Rich's home". Yes , my friends are not much financially stable but they do have better health then me , way better mental health then me , choosing their own career by their own will , talks with family like friends but that's not what they"ll consider because they're not much aware about that. All they're energy is focused is in how much green stuff some have in their pockets and how much cost cutting they can do to save money. What's look good from outside is not always like that from within. Yes , Everyone on this planet have their own share of pain, suffering and happiness. We cant compare somebody else's problems with other. The question is how do i respond to them . I can take their point in consideration and think about it contemplate about it and ask myself what's really true , and i do that deeply. But how do i respond , this blame game and victim mentality is shit. How do i respond when they blame me that i have it easy and they struggle. I don't get any words to reply in that moment .

About to be initiated in shambhavi mahamudra , inner engineering complition . I've have met maximum people initiated in shambhavi claiming that it has impacted them deeply and changed their life tremendously. How's your experience been if you doing it

UPDATE : Man I don't have anything to say about this practice. I have changed my whole being. It was way beyond my expectations . Just few months in and im a complete different being now. I had cervical spondylitis and it was very painful. Like that needle like pain in my neck 24×7 all the time. Those migraine headaches and all at that point whr my cervical issue reached to my shoulder & hand and i lost 40 % of my shoulder strength and it was like needle pinching sensation and numbness from my neck till my hands. Just one week in and realised suddenly that my pain has decreased a lot. Now its all gone. I wasn't expecting just a 21 Minutes meditation can do but i healed my cervical completely. Any day im having pain in my neck , i continue my shambhavi and after my practice the pain is all gone like it was never there at the first place. It works like magic . I recommend any one whose going through any sort of physical and mental ailment headaches, addiction, thyroid, auto immune disorder, bipolar or any sort of ailment, just give it a try. Spiritually i don't have any words to describe it. It's huge . The more i"ll try to explain the less it will be. All my fear have fallen apart. Even if im all alone im absolutely fine all the time. No anger left in me. It's like im stoned after my practice. This ' I ' is fading away.

Work on ur traumas head on. Mostly our escaping behavior, our coping mechanism , our mentality of ignoring our situation and being absorbed in media , addiction n stuff arises from that only. What I've learnt that quitting porn is not hard , quitting porn is tricky. The more days u go off it , the more easier it gets and the more alive we feel . It just takes that one little edging that one little relapsing to go back on that same hell and the cycle continues. Giving up porn is not possible without meditation. Even if the person goes many months he's still likely to get back to it if meditation is not his daily practice. We unknowingly run from our problems till the point we don't feel anything. No good no bad just that endless emptiness , that numbness eating up from inside and taking our all things away.

" i don't have much money so i can't do this , i can't do that " is it just an excuse or actual problem ? Is just just an excuse for holding ourself for doing what we want ?

Shambhavi is also kriya yoga designed by Sadhguru. It's not a rule anywhere that kriya yoga has to old and only learnt by books only and mainstream things can't work. There are numerous enlightened beings in isha foundation which are examples that the meditation does work but it's person to person. Im also doing kriya yoga from books as well as from kriya teachers so i do understand your point.

Yeah buddy Mastery in anything whether it's career , health , relationship or even contemplation requires massive traning. As leo says " no growth possible without massive traning"

If u travel u can do it from different places too because prices varies place to place. At my country it costed me 32 dollars only.

Jiddu krishnamurti if you want to contemplate deeply from all angles.

Yes it does. Indians, Egyptians , Christians and many cultures gave great importance to it. Most of kriya yoga is based on our agya chakra which is directly connected to pineal gland. During advanced meditation, dmt is naturally release from our pineal gland while again plays a important role in enlightenment.

If me its just freedom Absolute freedom

Mudras are great. It multiply the benifit of yoga and meditation specially by many folds . Don't learn mudra from YouTube, use some good quality text and books . Dhyan mudra , chin mudra , bhairav , bhairavi , yog mudra , Ashwani mudra , maha mudra and there are lot more . But be aware there lot of mudra which are fake that means it ain't scientific or created by some enlightened being but just creating by any random people and are of no use . While watching Leo's videos i use dhyan mudra and my focus is great and i remember everything he's saying vs . Just sitting normally my focus is average.

Just bluntly walk out, Do this few times by saying clearly " NO ". Later they"ll understand this sign that they can't take your time whenever they want to . You have to show them there boundaries clearly.

Hey, Right now im doing my graduation . I got no friends in college. To be honest my college is mostly empty all there time. there was very few people there , very less teacher,very Few students. There are Literally no chance from me to meet anyone there. Im too dealing with this borderline personality disorder which make it more miserable , that empty void which is there all the time but im working on it. It's very difficult for me to start a conversation because of my anxiety ,Depression and past traumas. I just don't even feel like to talk . I don't even remember the last time when i talked fully and let every thing all out from within. Moved to a new city ,going to a college where i Don't have anyone with whom i can feel fine with. My whole day goes like this just alone . Earlier i dropped from my university because i didn't enjoyed the degree there but had friends and here in my new college i like my degree but i don't have any friends here . When im going back to my place watching other people having fun with each other in metro laughing ,smiling at each other, sitting with each other , maintaning that eye contact , holding hands . I know it's not true but it feels like that there are having their best time and here im suffering alone who don't even have anyone to talk. My social life is almost non - existing. I moved to a different city in order to master my socializing related stuff but right now i don't see any practical way out. Don't how where its tart practically. There is a stage with people already complete their needs of socializing at a particular age and move on. But my this need is not completed yet so im not able to more further to work on bigger things There is a thing . People who are highly intelligent have their own sort of struggles. From outside it look so cool if someone is very smart . But we being there struggle to relate with people. Struggle to connect with people. Struggle to fullfill our own set High expectations all the time because their are more chances of failure there. Other People understanding our experiences which is rare to see. We don't find much people who can understand and relate to our ideas and values. I've mostly met wrong sort of people in my life. How do i met people who are actually very High quality and are really interested in growth and developing there understanding to the core. Even when i see my classmate all what they are doing is just " passing time ". There are not interested in anything and just scrolling Instagram , social media and gossiping and living a mindless life , eating junk food , having just point less conversation, no passion nothing. All what i grew up with is how every single day i can grow , how i can understand reality more and more on daily basis, how i can just spent this perticular day being creative and living the next day more passionately then the previous. But i lack this complete domain of social life. Where we met those high quality womens ? I want that partner who is on the same level where im , who is also interested in Spirituality as im , but I've set the bar so High that i haven't met those sort of people . And Even if i have mostly of them are already having a boyfriend and are committed . I've already spent 2 years of the college life struggling to socializing specially lockdown made it more hard . Spent these 2 years at home because of lockdown. As now it's over how do i make my last year of college worth.