Wizardking

THE ”GREAT” 5 years ago I started my personal development journey. The first two years were amazing. I meditated and journaled daily. I started a company that went pretty well. I was in peak physical shape. Elite level strength and my diet was flawless. I started making music during my spare time and loved it. I quit porn and practiced sexual discipline with women and never failed. Women were obsessed with me. My friends used to say I was a machine. I did whatever I set my mind to without fail. They looked up to me and always went to me for advice and support. One thing tho, I wasn’t really in contact with my emotions. Maybe this is why I was able to act like a machine. I had never really consciously experienced anxiety for example. Back then I barely understood the emotion when people talked about it. Everything was going great but then… THE DESCENT INTO CHAOS One day I made the stupid decision of going on a date with my ex from before I started doing this my personal development work. We got back together and I slowly fell apart. I’m not blaming her. I was not good either. But it really broke me in some sense. We stayed together for one and a half years and during that time I slowly descended into chaos. She introduced me to some new friends and we started partying all the time. I started abusing drugs. Mostly LSD and MDMA which were drugs that had previously helped me immensely but now I was using them to party, not heal. Had some really bad trips that awakened a lot of negative emotions in me. During one DMT trip I encountered a really mean entity that just bombarded me with hate. Since that experience I haven’t been able to get the voice out of my head. Goes in periods tho. Also, the police arrested me once and it was really traumatising. They forced me to get naked in the middle of a parking lot and then put me in a cell for 12 hours. More to it but long story. THE (ATTEMPTED) CLIMB BACK I finally broke it off with her. It was bad. And after the break up I was lost and stupid. I have empathy and understanding towards myself but I hate looking back at how I was acting. I was a mess. This was one and half years ago. Since then I’ve tried to get back into my old ways. I try every day but never seem to be able to. Can’t get into good habits, can’t get rid of bad habits. I don’t understand what the blockage is. I’ve been going to therapy but it doesn’t really help. I try and try and try but nothing I do seems to work out. It’s gotten to the point where I’m burnt out because of it (diagnosed by doctor). MY QUESTION Does anyone have any idea what I might be doing wrong? What I might be missing? I’m worried that I’ve broken myself.. Any help would be really appreciated. Thank you for reading

Where did you get that Michael Saylor is a coke addict?

Amazing song. Kendrick speak on his past lives and then speaks with God in second half.

I read books about other topics than politics but don’t see how that is a better way of learning than watching YouTube videos and listening to podcasts/audiobooks, which is what I mostly do for politics nowadays. I only read to wind down before bed and practice attention. Do you believe reading is better? If so, why? And the issue of knowing if the author(s) can be trusted is still there. How do you navigate that?

Please note that I know I might be very naive and gullible but these are just my thoughts. I want to understand. Please help me come to a deeper understanding as I am in constant internal conflict on what to believe. Politically, I’ve always been quite center. I see both sides of most issues and may lean just slightly toward one or the other. This makes it hard to form strong opinions about what’s right or wrong. Growing up, I was surrounded by hatred of the right, whether from family, friends or teachers. Even though I tend to more often lean a bit left, I’ve always had a lot of understanding for the right. The hatred towards them has always rubbed me the wrong way. Especially when expressed by parents and teachers to impressionable kids. In school I would always question other students beliefs because I couldn’t understand how they could be so sure. To me they often just sounded brainwashed. They could never really back up their claims and it just sounded like they were parroting. I was a straight A student even though I only had a 40% attendance rate due to recurring periods of depression, so I used to believe that I was intellectually gifted, but in the past 3-4 years I’ve really been struggling with self-doubt. I see people with such strong opinions that I wonder if I’m missing something. It’s destroyed my trust not just in myself but in others too. I’ve tried to understand those who hold strong stances but I’m rarely convinced that they are justified. Regarding the election, I find it hard to understand the hatred towards Trump. I don’t see how people are so certain that he is “evil.” He and his supporters claim that the Democrats manipulate public opinion with propaganda and censorship and from what Ive seen this often seems to be true. Like Hunter Bidens laptop, censoring Covid vaccine discussions on Meta, shadow banning the Joe Rogan x Trump podcast. In general whenever I go online I only see left wing takes. Even though I may agree more with Kamala on most issues, I’m completely put off by what feels like attempts to manipulate public perception and I believe this is why she lost. Similarly, I struggle to understand the hatred towards Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. To me, they both seem rational, wise and well intentioned. But I’m aware I could be wrong. I know I tend to see the best in people and I’m open to the possibility of me having been fooled. In this age of polarized media, how do I find what’s true? Both sides present evidence for their perspectives and both seem to manipulate information to fit their agenda. Do you just go based on character? And wouldn’t the censorship and propaganda from the democrats then be a huge red flag in their character? I’d appreciate any insights that could help me sort through this conflict and make sense of it all. Thanks

Every day I get more and more jaded from realisation upon realisation that almost everything is fake. The hypercompetitiveness in the world and the growing gap between rich and poor is causing a "the ends justify the means - mentality". Because it is so easy to get away with cheating it must mean that most likely anyone in the top of a certain field has gotten there by cheating. Look at olympic athletes: I guarantee you that every single one of them is on PEDs. It is so easy to get away with it that they do not have an option. Being the best today requires cheating. Just look at athletes: they can take PEDs off season and it will still increase their natural capabilities, a lot of them are busted but then still allowed to compete in the olympics (check this article https://www.reuters.com/sports/olympics/olympics-whats-swimming-doping-scandal-about-2024-07-26/ ) and also if these athletes were not on PEDs there would be thousands of videos on youtube of people unofficially beating world records (because they are using PEDs) but there aren't many of these videos because even on PEDs it's really hard to beat them. And PEDs do not have little effect by any means, they make a huge difference. This means that top athletes have got to be using. This is only one example. I have a lot more but I won't go in to them in this first post, we can discuss more if there's interest for it. The reason I post this is because this is making me a bit crazy. I'm overwhelmed and paranoid. It is impossible for someone to know something unless they experience it directly themselves. Therefore I personally can only have knowledge in a very very very small amount of areas since there is so much data to take into consideration. This leads me to the conclusion that we have to trust what experts say because we ourselves can't be experts in everything. BUT we also can't trust "experts" blindly because it has been shown again and again that they are capable of lying/being ignorant. That trust has been broken. How do we navigate in this world? Just go off of gut feeling? Make an assessment of someones character and hope that our assessment is right?

I enjoy helping people, playing with ideas and creating things. I have made synopses for a couple books that I would like to slowly work on throughout my life.

@Leo Gura The reason is mainly that I would like to publish a book in the future and it would probably make a bigger impact on the world if people take the author more seriously. So I wouldn't say the reason is shallow. I want to help make the world better.

Great then I can continue stealing candy from my kids. Change of topic but I'd like to hear your thoughts on this, I want to help people with mental health and I'm going to have my own private clinic. I could do this without doing the masters degree in psychology but I would be taken more seriously if I was a licensed psychologist. Do you think the 5 years of study + 1 year of postgraduate practical training is worth it just so be taken more seriously? I think it's really stupid that people don't take people without degrees seriously but they obviously do

@Ero Isn't the issue that those conscious people would have to play unfair to compete with the corrupt? And that this would then make them corrupt?

And I suspect that "the ends justify the means" is the mentality that causes this and therefore whatever low level of that mentality we ourselves use will perpetuate that mentality in the world, correct? Meaning we need to try to avoid resonating like that no matter how small the "means" is if we want corruption to end?

Just the freedom to spend most of my time with my partner and my dog and my future children. I want to work a maximum of 4 hours per day but still be able to live nicely and travel while not having to worry about money. My main value is freedom. So I guess that is possible but it is growing harder over time due to the growing wealth gap.

But if we play fair in an attempt to break the cycle, won't we just get run over by those who don't? And if we speak up about this and try to change it, won't we be the nail that gets the hammer? What is the right line of action?

Duncan Trussell would be amazing. Might also be a way to get your foot in with Rogan.

I found this sentence that summarizes effective strength training: "Do 5-30 good technique reps that each take 2-9 seconds in multiple sets, taking those sets close to failure where the target muscle is the limiting factor, and repeat this approach as often as you are recovered enough to do so while at a caloric surplus" Thought the idea was interesting so now I want to see what you would say makes up the foundation of mental health. A little bit broader so it might be harder. This is the first sentence I came up with: "The foundation of mental health lies in cultivating self-awareness through emotional intelligence, fostering meaningful social connections and pursuing a sense of purpose, all while effectively managing stress." Feel free to add on if you think I've missed something.

I was wondering why a big part of the spiritual community talk about frequencies and vibrations whilst another big part does not. I don't think I've ever heard Leo talk about it, neither Eckhart Tolle. Are they using different terms for the same thing or why is it that some talk about it and some don't? What are your thoughts on frequencies and vibrations?

I'm currently working at a warehouse where I mostly work alone and can use earbuds while working. Sometimes I get overstimulated listening to all the personal development videos on Youtube. At some point it just goes in one ear and out the other. Nothing sticks. I end up listening to the same videos over and over again. I have probably listened to most of Leos videos at least 2-3 times. I'm already taking action and applying some of the knowledge but I can only focus on so much at a time so being given all this other knowledge doesn't really help me when I can't do anything more at this moment. But I still want to do something productive with this given opportunity. I listen to The Power of Now which is really calming and centers me in the moment but I've probably listened to it over a hundred times by now. Any recommendations? Something that helps me grow in some way. Thank you for reading

I thought this was interesting

I got diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and after having tried several medications I found one that works for me, dextroamphetamine sulfate. It works really well. I feel like a normal person, Im able to be social, focus at work and in studies. My partner also says I'm much better while on it. But the issue is, if I take it for a couple days I feel completely brain dead when I take a day off. Zero energy, Can't focus on anything. Crave dopamine. I hate feeling dependent on this medicine and I fear becoming addicted to it. Before the diagnosis I have always self-medicated with caffeine. I quit it 3 years ago. But since then I've never felt normal and every time I try caffeine again I feel normal. So maybe it's just impossible for me to not be on stimulants... Anyone with experience in this?

Do you really think I need that much silence? I'm already meditating at least an hour every day and working in silence at least 1 hour every day. I also basically meditate 20-40min every evening because I just meditate until I fall asleep. I'm already laser focused on my life purpose but I have no lack of knowledge there at the moment, it's just lack of time to execute due to my main job. So there is no reason for me to really narrow down more on the task at hand because I already know what to do and I'm doing it as much as possible. I've already laid out the plan for the coming 3 months and gathered most of the knowledge for it so now it's only about executing. The reason I made the post is because I still want to make the best out of my time and I don't want this opportunity to be wasted. If there is something I can listen to while working that will grow me in some way I want to do that.

Oh I started that series a while back and totally forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me! And I love Curts channel, will definitely check those out

Yeah I get a lot done on it. I could take weekends off but then I won't have the energy to be social and do stuff with my partner. When I'm on the medication I feel like I am the person I want to be, but without it's like I have crippling depression. I just really hoped I would be able to fix it without medication but I've tried for four years without results and it has hurt my life progression to the point where my doctor and psychologist say it's time for me to accept that I need medication. I just hate feeling dependant on it.

My attempt at describing what I'm looking for: Maybe a very deep and layered book about psychology but I wouldn't know which one. I have read a lot of Carl Jungs books but they do not really have the same effect on me as The Power of Now. Not sure how to exactly describe what kind of book I experience The Power of Now to be. The best way I can put it is that it acts as a mirror in some sense. I look into it and see something new about myself. The next time I look into it I see something new again. And it is as if some discoveries allow for the coming discoveries. It really is like therapy where you find puzzle piece after puzzle piece and slowly start to get an idea of the big picture making connections all over it. It also always leaves me in a very heightened state with a clear mind. Kind of like the day after a trip.

I do that a lot but don't want to do it all day. I also meditate on most of my breaks which usually adds up to a little over an hour so I think Im pretty good in that area. That's what I've done but I haven't found a book similar to The Power of Now. A business book might have 10 key concepts that I can extract and apply in life to get better in business but rereading it after having learned those doesn't give anything more. Reading or listening to The Power of Now is kind of a therapeutic experience. I feel like it puts me in a healing, introspective state. I always gain new insights about myself every time I read/listen to it. It has a way of reflecting myself. I don't know any other book that does that. I can basically do the work on autopilot at this point. Don't need to focus all that much. I'm hungry for growth and evolution. I want to better my understanding of things.