Ivan D

Hey guys, I've been struggling with a serious porn addiction for a few years, and it's been getting worse and worse. I can logically list to you all the negative side effects and emotions this addiction causes me, and I logically know I have to quit. But obviously I can't. I don't really want to. It seems completely impossible to quit. Every part of my life is fucked up, and I'm confused and depressed every single day. I don't know what to start doing to just feel a little bit better. I've been lurking on this forum for a while, I watched Leo's videos but haven't applied anything in my life. The initial motivation for self-development has worn off. It feels impossible to motivate myself. I'm overwhelmed by all the content. My mind is completely numb, depressed, lazy and rotted away. Every single day I'm anxious, have 0 motivation to do anything, I'm lost and confused. And practical advice to tackle this addiction would be greatly appreciated.

He talks about the book here (skip to around 1:08:00): https://www.actualized.org/insights/back-from-2-month-break-updates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKi9Z-f6qX4 My fav song ever. Do yourself a favor: buy decent 100$ headphones and listen to this song. Every time I hear it I at least tear up.

Sorry, I may have been a bit inaccurate with my wording. It was an addiction for me, so of course, as with every addiction, I was getting high amounts of short-term pleasure and stimulation, which was masking my problems. I'm not clear about the root cause, it has multiple factors for me. Childhood trauma and an unhealthy, messy lifestyle. I saw my life problems which needed fixing, but I was running away from them. I was avoiding doing this self-help work. I had a deep insight about my addiction and my lack of results. What I meant to say is that it's not giving me anything good. It's solving absolutely nothing. It was perfectly clear that drinking poison is a pretty accurate description of every addiction. If I have a problem, and use porn to escape it, when the pleasure wears off - the problem is still there + all the negative emotions which come from excessive porn & masturbation. It just made everything worse. That was the ultimate insight. What happened for me is, my mind used porn and masturbation as the default tool to dealing with any problem or negative emotion. I journaled about this, faced my feelings, stopped beating myself up for it, and I had my emotional release and a clear insight about the situation. So I started actually doing the work, applying the ideas, self-actualizing. Porn completely lost value for me. I no longer crave it. I do still get an urge to masturbate here and there, but that's just normal sexual energy. I found out that meditating and exercising helps to release it.

I'm not sure what to think objectively about the theme of porn and masturbation. Leo never covered it. Online, some people say it's okay, normal and even healthy. Then there are communities like NoFap who claim several benefits coming from semen retention. I'd say it's okay, just don't overdo it. Everything's okay in moderation. @Gnailco Well, if you're getting cravings , you know you're addicted and that's an issue you have to work on. Maybe you're not addicted, that's just normal sex drive. Did masturbation to porn cause you any negative emotions? Anyways, if you're addicted like me, quitting porn is literally life transforming. If you think you're addicted, definitely check out the aforementioned book.

@Dryas You don't get it. I was deeply addicted. I was hopeless, depressed, 0 motivation, couldn't think straight and just a nervous wreck. I even started getting suicidal thoughts. Masturbating stopped being a healthy relaxation activity for me. It became compulsive and addictive. I can't provide a step-by-step strategy for quitting porn. To me, it was a complex situation. The book was what started my change. I could clearly see that there is nothing that this habit is doing for me. I finally had that ah-ha moment of clear realization, and at that moment porn lost all of its meaning and I stopped craving it. Furthermore, I started facing my emotions, journaling and thinking positively. Slowly, I got myself out of it. Journaling helped me make a few big insights about my mistakes. I'm full 6 days clean. Started exercising, meditating, and applying the advice in Leo's videos. Never felt better in my life. I don't even crave porn, but I have this sexual energy I haven't felt in a long time, so sometimes I wanted to masturbate. Even if I get cravings, I just remember the horror of a state I used to be in for so long. I'm doing great, and I'm never coming back. @vizual This approach won't work for me, since I'm an agnostic for now. @Gregory1 I'm 16 xD. Psychedelics will have to wait a bit. @Yoremo Tried this already, didn't work. @Breakingthewall Thanks.

UPDATE: I'm 4 days clean! Thank you @Raze @Antonius for recommending the book. I read it and I had this sudden realization in my mind, something clicked. I've completely changed a view to porn and I see that it really is like drinking poison. I completely lost the will to use it! I started exercising and journaling. Via journaling, I looked into myself and had a few insights about addictions and my emotions. Thank you for the support guys. I finally feel unstuck, and I'm planning to immerse myself further in the self-help theory and applying it. It feels insane though, I literally quit overnight, with basically zero cravings.

Thank you people for giving me sources and motivating me! You made my day much better

@Raze Thank you for answering! I'll be checking these out.

@SonataAllegro Thank you for clearing things up for me, I can see what I'm doing wrong. This is very motivating, but I see it'll be hard.

@Antonius I'm familiar with NoFap and the whole Reddit community, and honestly I don't like it. Most of them are just chasing some kind of "benefits" and counting days. I've never heard about this book, thank you for sharing it. I'll definitely read it ASAP. Thanks for responding!