Peter Ralston Newsletter
15. Being Incomplete
5:70 As seen, there are many contributors to your sense of being incomplete. When you long for something not present, you'll view your current experience as incomplete—somehow flawed, or broken, or less than, or inadequate, or what-have-you. Being complete means nothing is missing or needs to be fixed. This experience is not based on your circumstances but on you.
5:71 I'm not sure if this fits, but a long time ago I realized that there was no fundamental difference to the quality of life standing in the Taj Mahal or in a dirt floored shack. Both are simply dwellings. The rest is mind. And if you don't mind, you can be happy no matter where you are.
5:72 People often think that if they accept life as-is they will give up all aspirations to attain something better. This is really just a red-herring, and it is what much of our dissatisfaction is based upon. But it is just not true. There is nothing in ending suffering that requires we give up creating or building or attaining something. We simply have to make sure such "visions" are grounded in reality and based on commitment. Then our ambitions can be channeled into a reality.
5:73 Yet, you need to make a distinction between drives and ambitions generated in an attempt to keep you distracted from underlying pain, or simply creating something because you want to do so. Ask yourself: what motivates you to pursue attaining something? Is it the promise that it will "fix" you, or make your life experience tolerable? Pursuits based on this drive I call a self-agenda (something we will look into more later on). But if it isn't based on a self-agenda, you can create or attain whatever you want without it being related to avoiding suffering or trying to fix you or remedy your distress. Notice, in this way, you are also OK without attaining anything. Then you are happy with life as it is, as well as happy with whatever you may be building or creating.
I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care about money. Decorations, titles or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. I claim credit for nothing. A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.
Albert Einstein
Daily meditation during the week:
Get present and focus on yourself for a moment. Have no goals, no desires, nowhere to get to, no social goals, no other or better experience to have. Pretend being a simple creature, present now, no future, no past. Even drop trying to succeed in this exercise. Just be with yourself like this. Do not care about anything else for this meditation other than your own happiness, allow yourself to be whole and complete. Ask yourself, and be honest about it: is there anything incomplete, wrong or not right (even if slightly) in this experience? If yes, keep “going” (although there might be nowhere to go), until you experience yourself being complete (if only for a moment). Practice this meditation daily.
