CARDOZZO

Report - Day 04 I started the meditation retreat at 2:08 PM and ended at 6:25 PM. I divided the retreat into 1-hour sessions of meditation and 5-minute breaks for bathroom visits, writing insights, and stretching. Process, Events, Insights: I started the day with extreme difficulty focusing on meditation. The beginning of the process is almost always tortuous until it becomes light. After a while, I began generating a sensation of satisfaction throughout my body, becoming increasingly satisfied with the present moment. Some sexual images started distracting me from the process, but I managed to return to focus within a few minutes. I had an insight about becoming a more strategic and responsible person in all areas of life. I might be falling short in some matters. 5-minute break. Returning from the first break, I had an insight about being more pragmatic and realistic regarding my life and goals. Being a visionary is great, but you also need to align with the HOW to make those visions reality. Right after, I had an insight about how important it is to TURN your POTENTIAL into tangible results. You can have all the potential you want, but you need to squeeze the orange. I had another insight related to being extremely results-oriented in certain areas of life. Fooling yourself about your results in some areas is an easy trap to fall into. I returned to feeling my whole body, meditating for a good while without distractions. 5-minute break. I lay down to continue the meditation, as I was feeling tired and with body aches. I focused on breathing very slowly in a synchronized way. I noticed that my tolerance for boredom and monotony has evolved quite a bit since the start of the retreat. I was happy about this specific result. I started remembering friends from the past, memories from when I was between 5 and 14 years old. I felt nostalgic for a good while; it distracted me, but for a good reason. I thanked the people who passed through my life in the past, those who helped me, old friends I haven't seen in many years. 5-minute break. I returned from the break feeling anxious, restless, and tired. I lay down again to meditate, breathe, and regain focus. In the last hour, I had to persist for a good while to not give up at the end. I was tired and wanting the day to end. I did a meditation counting from 100 down to 1 to regain focus, and it helped me finish the retreat day calmly and peacefully. (Translation made by AI - Portuguese to English)

Day 4 is done.

You Don't Really Understand Mechanical Engineering

I'm reading about deep stuff on science, engineering, technology, computer science and physics. I will develop a deep understanding of these fields to create new solutions to humanity. I will share resources, books, lectures on these fields.

Day 4: 2pm-6pm

Observing a huge blue gate. 2002 FIFA World Cup.

You are resentful because you don't communicate what you think/feel.

Sure. I agree. What I'm trying to point is a way to relate to change, transformation or "what should be" in a empowering manner.

Report - Day 03 I started the meditation retreat at 2:07 PM and ended at 6:25 PM. I divided the retreat into 1-hour sessions of meditation and 5-minute breaks for bathroom visits, writing insights, and stretching. Process, Events, Insights: I started the day with extreme difficulty focusing, very sleepy, distracted, and wanting to quit. I remained restless for about 20 minutes, trying to stay focused on the meditation. I had an insight on how to relate effectively to human beings. Imagine that the human being is an inanimate object without a mind, existence, or five senses, like a chair without consciousness. What happens? How do you relate to the human being? I had various visions, imaginations, and ideas to apply in different areas of my life. 5-minute break. I returned to meditating and began having visions related to science fiction and the books of author Greg Egan. He is one of the authors who inspire me to stay in the STEM field and also to want to be a science fiction writer. I had an insight regarding monotony, where this is generally the rhythm of nature, where everything happens in its own time according to specific cycles. I started feeling A LOT of boredom, becoming impatient and tired. Shortly after about 10 minutes, I had an insight on how to create a subjective experience where you transcend power, sex, status, and money to live on planet Earth. I went back to feeling BOREDOM like I haven't felt in the last 20 years. Feeling/getting bored is so hard these days. What ended up leading me to another insight related to the frenetic stimulation that human beings are exposed to nowadays. You should meditate just to get bored and learn to appreciate that mundane and monotonous state. 5-minute break. I returned to the retreat contemplating the question "Who am I?" After a good while contemplating, I concluded that today was the MOST DIFFICULT day of the retreat. I was extremely irritated and bored, just wanting to stop meditating. I had an insight regarding why I have this need to be important in society and in the eyes of other human beings. I lay down for 10 minutes on my yoga mat, continuing to contemplate the question "Who am I?". 5-minute break. In the last hour of the day, I had to persist in staying seated. I really wanted to give up. I started the process of feeling my entire body again. I did a meditation counting from 100 to 1 to refocus. I did some contemplations related to inventions, mechanical engineering, and remote viewing. I had a final insight about the importance of how difficulties are crucial for forging a human being. (Translation made by AI - Portuguese to English)

Day 3 is done.

Day 3: 2pm-6pm

It is about letting go/transcend. I'm not trying to change. I just want to not have it in the first place.

I'm not tallking about medication or transformation. I'm talking about to transcend, to stop it altogether, to go all in into the roots. I'm talking about having a subjective experience that it is extremely rare where you are not just a human but a new kind of human free from a lot of humanity shit/unnecessary suffering.

This approach seems much more a way to medicate suffering than to stop it altogether. You want to transcend what is causing suffering itself (context) not what arises from it (content: emotions, sensations, thoughts).

Sure. Endless possibilities.

I don't know if being present solves the case. Suffering is a conceptual activity. You have to know how to stop suffering and I think that to stop suffering is not the same as being present.

Sure. How do we make "change" based on love/acceptance? Generally, humans want to change because they are suffering. The root cause of their need to change is suffering, hurt, moving away from pain.

Permutation City - Greg Egan Diaspora - Greg Egan

Report - Day 02 I started the meditation retreat at 2:05pm and ended at 6:25pm. I divided the retreat into 1-hour meditation sessions and 5-minute breaks to go to the bathroom, write insights and stretch. Process, Events, Insights: I started the meditation completely distracted. Various extremely arousing sexual images were getting in the way. I felt a lot of arousal, and it was hard to control that sensation. After a few minutes of meditation, I began to feel discomfort, body pains, and even more distracted than before. I started focusing my attention on the root chakra, feeling its energy, going deeply into it, focusing. This ended up calming me down, keeping me present and focused. The first insight I had was about questioning the purpose of positive emotions. I see that I try to balance negative and positive emotions, or even use positive emotions as a way to motivate myself to do what I need to do during the day. I questioned whether there's another way to navigate reality without using emotions, just staying calm and present, escaping the dualities and emotional disturbances that balancing polarities creates in the mind. I imagine there's a way to live intentionally, aligned with calm confidence to navigate reality, transcending the whirlwind of positive and negative emotions. 5-minute break. Right after returning from the first break, I began to realize that I've probably been breathing inefficiently my whole life. I have weak breathing. I don't know how to use my diaphragm well. (Task: Discover/Train new breathing techniques) I continued the meditation process, and a desire to start contemplating arose. I began asking myself "Who am I?" and "What am I?". I had an insight that's basically obvious, but if I really want to live effectively as a human being, I'll have to transcend everything that is human. I started contemplating "What is value?" "What is a human being?". To my surprise, I began having small insights about relating to other people. I discovered that if I remove the importance from all the content emerging from the 5 senses of OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, I can effectively relate to them in a calm, peaceful, and effective way. I also realized how much the game of money, status, and power dominates humanity's mind. I gained a perspective of it as a game, where human beings are fighting for something virtual and fleeting that has finite importance. It's like people starting to attribute extreme value to a restaurant in GTA V, and now that will determine who you are. 5-minute break. Entering the third hour of meditation, I started with a counting meditation from 100 to 1, gazing at my forehead with closed eyes, where experts say the third eye is located. I entered a state of deep calm, creativity, and vivid imagination. After 30 minutes, I started feeling pains, anger, the urge to quit, fatigue. The sexual images came back. Persisting in the process, I felt happy with myself. I notice I'm handling boredom, monotony, and the mundane much better. I had another insight. I started thinking about the importance of doing something extremely difficult in the first month of the year and how that can positively impact the rest of the year, opening up massive possibilities for oneself and setting a new perspective on what's possible going forward. Reaching the end of the third hour of meditation, I felt anxiety. I started thinking about everything I needed to do at the end of the day. 5-minute break. Entering the fourth hour of meditation, I started lying down. I lay on my yoga mat for 10 minutes, feeling my entire body and questioning "Who am I?". After 10 minutes, I sat up again. I began doing affirmations related to money and prosperity. I had an insight about the importance of developing stamina and concentration to master various areas of life, and how the retreat was helping me in that process. I felt motivated and persisted even though I was tired and wanted to quit. In the last 40 minutes of meditation, I contemplated my future, potentials, possibilities, and what I could do after finishing the retreat. End of the second day. (Translation made by AI - Portuguese to English)

Day 2 is complete.

Today, I will do 2pm-6pm.

The thing is: how do you make "completion" a permanent state?