Yoremo

Hey guys, so been pretty fucked up mentally for awhile and I have gotten in touch with a psychologist to do cbt. So my question is whether this would actually help, because I myself am quite skeptical of this. What do you think?

hey guys. So my sleep is not good. I found out it has something to do with my emotional state, yes. But can I do anything else about it? I don´t have much money to spend but I really want to sleep better. But if there would be one supplement or max 2 then you could mention that also. Don´t know what the fuck to do, I am going to bed at relatively good times but I can´t sleep for hours and this fucks up everything

@Striving for more Comepletely agree with you, but as you said if you can do like meditation in the evening that might help you. But I have been doing the golden milk peanutspathtotruth reccomended and now after like 2 months I go to sleep really easily. So if you can find things like that you won´t need to sacrifice your health, because realistically I can´t keep that up either without compromissing the rest of my life.

Don´t think sadhguru claims he has paranormal abilities. "It´s not about becoming superhuman, it´s about realizing being human is super" is a quote I remember from him from somewhere.

As the title says, how do I do that? I haven´t been able to get any value out of books, and I see a lot of you guys have in contrast to me. So what do you guys do?

I have never been really inspired by anything in life. I have just done things kind of because I have had to do them. I don´t even know what passion is, but it sounds like the way to go if I want to do something with my life. Perhaps there are some paradoxes that I haven´t considered regarding passion, but anyways any guidance on this and I would deeply appreciate it.

Do you guys think this may have to do with this? So I guess coming up with values and then doing something from that point?

And what is the correct way to view passion? I don´t think my view of passion is extreme, I think today´s society is just so fucking unpassionate that that is the new normal. Why should I write a list of things I appreciate? sadly enough I have only ever been passionate about games and not even that for long. I get bored of games too. But what am I going to do of that? I want to have something to do during my days! Now I spend most of my days staring into the distance, I don´t know how to extract a passion from this depressed state. I don´t know about this one... I have studied math for thousands of hours and I want to disappear during math. I also played soccer A LOT but never really felt any passion for it. There has to be some initial interest in it or passion won´t come, feel free to dismantle that if you want but I don´t see how just choosing something and doing it obsessiely will make me passionate about it. I have tried in the past. what´s about da vinci? Well, I long for something to work with all day everyday. I have a lot of passions... porn, junk food, yelling at people that don´t deserve it etc. But I want something to devote most of my time to do. Well my job is to go to school, and after every school day I feel empty and sad and I am kind of stuck in that. I am trying to make new friends and change my environment already but thanks. Maybe I am looking at this from the wrong perspective. Maybe I shouldn´t look out for what makes passion but eliminate that which undermines any kind of sense of meaning. I guess depression plays a big role in preventing me from seeing any possibilities?

maybe, maybe a bit too expensive right now. Is it good for someone like me who has no idea at all?

Okay, I think I am a bit anxious to read a lot and "learn" a lot. Which is why I just read without really practicing. How is it that so many people talk about how they have read hundreds of books? Like that would be totally impossible, maybe if you do it consistently until you´re like 90 but I guess this is where I got it from. So read, when I read something I feel is valuable I contemplate it a bit (not too fancy) and then I apply it into my life and see what comes out of that and learn further when I apply.

@Sucuk Ekmekdon´t even know what curiosity is at this point. My main motivation for reading is to learn stuff so I can live my life without falling for all of the stupid mental traps. @zurew Yes, this might just be one big thing about the solution. But how do I drag myself to do that? I am going to try and read one quite short book and apply what you just said and see what happens. I feel myself resisting it a hell of a lot though.

is it worth it to go through them? What did they give you? @Dryas

why is it that there is so much advice and things you can do? everything feels so overwhelming and I don´t know where to start. And the same thing kind of goes for this forum (not that there is something inherently bad about, thank you for all of your help), and I must be missing something because I am not going to blame it on anyone else. I have tried so many times in the past to do too many things and I am quiting things because I always get the unsure feeling whether what I am doing is worthwhile, and then I slip into unconsciousness and just forget about what I did, or I just felt very negative feelings about what I did. How did the guys here on this forum handle the meaninglessness, pessimism, overwhelmedness, insecurity whether what I am doing is right or wrong or not? I have been on this forum for 3 months now, and if I am honest I have not achieved a shit more than a couple of "maybe´s" in forms of things I am doing. And I am not fulfilling my potential to one bit, and I honestly don´t feel much willigness either in my day to day. I am asking for you to help me see my bullshit and call me out, because I have always had a problem of "not getting it". My classmates and family etc. has always been better than me at this but I think this has not much to do with me being actually bad, but just some deficiency I can develop. I have read like 4 books on self development and each and every one of them has been pretty good, but I have in no fucking way implemented them whatsoever because I don´t really "get it", or maybe something else is the problem? It doesn´t feel right, like I don´t have the capability to use advice and actually just take it in, my mind is so full of doubt, insecurities anxiousness etc. which you may see reflected in this post. My mind is as foggy as it has ever been, so I don´t know if it needs to be that I am doing it wrong, I am taking notes etc. but I think there is something else going on. My mind is always racing and questioning everything which makes it hard to commit to one thing. for example, one moment I feel that all I need to do is inner work and work on my emotions, then I feel that I only need to do practical stuff and get my shit together, but then my mind goes "if you do the inner work you will be able to do the practical stuff more easily", and then my mind will come up with some other bullshit which has me thinking and doubting all the time. I am sorry for the rant, and if I left out something or included too much but please be brutally honest with me. I can take it. have a good day!

@Dryas do you have any recommendation on source for spiral dynamics?

Going to not do shadow work or anything like that here anymore, feels like I am having a bullshit journal here. I won´t write big passages about things anymore, I am just going to write about whatever is going on in my life, and I am going to try to write more carefully and sincere and not just pour out as many words as I can as fast as I can. I want some more structure on this, and I want to do this journal because it kind of motivates me. Short, concise and dense is what I want here for myself. Anyone who wants is welcome to post anything here.

Hey, this is my journey to start and live my life, I am deciding to love life everyday from now on, loving myself, everyone around myself, growing and finding myself. I have never been this broken, I´m crying all the time and I feel bad as a human a lot of times. Now I want to actually take responsibility for myself and my life and my emotions. I´m not stuck anymore, I´m not bad I let go of this and feel the happiness in the moment and embrace reality and the journey of happiness. This is not me striving for anything, no, I am perfection in every moment and I am what I decide to be in the moment, and I choose to be what I want to be and I do what I want to do. I may not have all the answers, I may not have all the advantages and things and help I want. I trust myself and that I can be happy now, I am happy now and I can be happy and "me" and the stillness at all times and I am the person I think I am. Trying to solve me being something I don´t want to be won´t do nothing, it focuses on the person that I don´t want. I can choose to be. I choose to be. I choose to do what feels good. I choose to learn and I choose the path. I choose to accept and love. I choose to be where I want to be. I choose how I feel through the thoughts I focus upon and the intent I put forth. I have a lot of goals and dreams, but not all of them has been what I´ve felt for. I now respect my integrity and I am going to do what I want and focus upon what I want. My goal of soccer is maybe not meant to be, I honestly don´t want to do it now so I won´t, because I can´t and I don´t want to. What I want: I want to be able to socialize, I want to be an extrovert and introvert of my choise not succuming to anything. I want to feel good emotionally, I want to feel people and connect, I want to feel the dreams I have inside of me, I want to actualize the immense feelings of connectedness and happiness and satisfaction which I contain within me. I want to see how I can choose my beliefs if I notice them and how they affect everything. I want to live a life, a life which feels so immense and good so I don´t even know. I want to be strong, I want to be smart, I want to be kind, I want nature, I want to be able to provide and add value for the people around me and everything around me, and most importantly to myself. I love myself and I am all and everything that I need to be. I want to go out and experience adventures around the world with people, experience the world. I want to be an example to others of the embodyment of life, and not letting myself be distracted by how things "are". I wish to not be determined by how my life started and blame everything on that. I intend to outgrow circumstance. I intend to show my love to the people around me in the same depressed situation I have been in through showing them that through using your mind in the way the mind works to your wishes makes everything so much better. I intend to, no matter what goals I have, to stay proactive in life and do the things I feel that I want to do. I know much feels unclear and unsure right now, but real power lies in acting and thinking myself in to whatever I want to do. Real power is self mastery, noone told me self mastery is easy, noone I know knows of the idea of self mastery, I want to help them and myself. I will find clarity in thinking myself and using my mind in a proper and constructive way to find a way and through making things simple and not overcomplicate things, it´s simple dude, might be hard but god damn it´s supposed to be simple. My goals for 2022: *getting a girlfriend (practice game and socialize), someone I can share my life with, doesn´t have to be the ultimate one but a real good one (game/socializing goals): *increasing my self esteem (which is basically consciousness and acting upon that consciousness) *Developing positive self-talk *indifferent to people´s opinions about me (no worrying or doubting myself because of fear of other people) *charismatic (fixing my grumpy mood really, I know I am extremely charismatic if I don´t feel so bad) *happy and funny and easy going (generally having more of a sense of humour ad enjoying things and laughing) *being confident (so I can carry myself like myself without fear or anxiety, so that I can be the person I want people to know me as) *masculine *being "the man" here where I live-- Being a real genuine man without all the bullshit and insecurities which everybody has, I´m "that dude", the dude living his life and whom everybody looks up to Other goals: *stop being angry and having conflicts with my family, being the mature one to show and lead the way *Get rid of my anxiety and all the symptoms which I guess is based on anxiety like my chest pains, breathlessness and just feeling like I feel stress inside of my body (I have social anxiety aswell as a lot of anxiety for other reasons which I am not entirely conscious of the reasons yet) *Heightening my emotional quality overrall *Starting the process of finding my life purpose *gaining more clarity in life through learning from others and listening inwards *Fixing my breathing completely so that I can breathe completely free *Getting completely injury free (high af fascial fitness) *rejoining soccer and trying it out to see if I still want to do it (when I am injury free) *Passion for my life and purpose *living my life the way I want to consciously and respecting the opinions of others but not really giving two fucks about it *buying a car *getting my drivers license *having balance in my life and being able to balance and recover in a healthy way *getting good sleep *emotional awareness and understanding (emotional intelligence) *getting rid off acne That´s the goals for the year, they are not so defined or anything right now, but I just compiled what I feel that I want and I will try and compose a good plan of how to do this in a wise way. I might not succeed with everything but I will focus on developing myself this year in a good way. Some of these will just require me buying something, some that I develop some habits and some that I do something a couple of times only. The main resource I will use for building habits will be atomic habits which is a really good. The rest I will kind of research when it´s time to do that. I will build some habits for always learning to make this easy like reading and watching youtube videos. The main requirement is that I have to really want to do what I do in the long term, I am allowed to feel otherwise during the process but I will make conscious and clear decisions when I decide to do something and then I will commit to it and follow through with it. But this also requires me to not make stupid decisions, I can make wrong decisions but they have to be really thought through anyway so I can avoid that as much as possible. I don´t know how to organize this, but I will figure it out before school starts the 7 january and I will have clarity, never mind if it´s right, I don´t care I just need clarity. But I know one thing: I will start my journey by just having this journal as an accountability partner for me doing the core habits that will make me feel good, my morning routine, evening routine and some habits during the day. I will make it so that it won´t be too little or too much, because if it is then I won´t want to continue because it will not feel good. So that I can have some kind of base. Then my thoughts right now (they can change, that´s okay) is that I will have a overlapping system to achieve goals more separetaly but I guess I will probably have to work on a couple of goals at once, and of course the attainment of some goals will make other goals easier. For example if I get injury free and pain free early this year it will help me with everything because then I don´t have to be so sad, mad etc. etc. I have had difficulties with making goals before, I have had difficulty stating them in a way so that I can actually achieve them. I think the solution is to listen inwards and contemplate and think about it (in kind of a pleasant and nice feeling kind of way) often and strategizing and thinking about how I can improve my plan and strategy. It is really hard for me to make my mind come up with concrete and good plans and keep going at them, but this is not a sign that it´s wrong-- who said it was going to be easy all the time? especially at the beginning I have to man up a bit and go through some pain and accept it and still move forward. Another thing I will have to handle is how to implement my theory into practice, like the "how to get laid" seried which I took notes like 30 pages long-- how do I convert this into action and mental habits and fundamental understanding? well, I´ll have to figure it out, but clarity is key-- no matter if it is right or wrong I have to make myself make it clear so that I later on can learn from what I did (otherwise I don´t really know what I did). And while I might not be achieving everything to the extent I want, I honestly don´t care-- why should I? Why would I? I want to show that it´s possible. I know the fucking abyss of bad feelings which come at you when you try to get better, but I will find strength inside of me through looking in the right places and grounding myself-- meditation, breathwork, music, contemplation, talking with people. I will clear this up during the coming days. Dare to be great. Dare to feel great rather. In this journal I will set my goals, track my habits, and plan and strategize about the future.

they are under the videos.

hey, so I am going with the bus about 1.5 hours everyday to school and I can´t realy do anything so I am meditating. Do you have any good guided meditation that I can use? because I can´t really do unguided meditation especially not on a bus as it is a bit harder.

@Jordanwhich sessions do you particularly like?

same. I´m grateful for what he has done for me. I don´t know how to explain it in words, but I feel a greater sense of direction after talking to him.

Good reminder. getting addicted to this forum somehow. Looking out for "answers" all the time, lol. But I think you kind of feel when you are just procrastinating action with more theory, and I am not really there but for sure I am spending too much time on here

@StarStruckhave you experimented on letting go more generally? I am just getting into letting go, haven´t bought Hawkin´s book but the fearless man on yt basically has everything on his vids. Crazy change in feeling when doing letting go for me, I feel all warm and happy inside is it the same for you?

So, been trying to do self help for a while. I am now beginning to see a pattern— nothing fucking works! So, I am not here to welcome you to my pity party. Because I feel that I am missing something still, or that I don´t get it. I am hopeful about some things right now but other things haven´t worked out for me so I am kind of trying to find this out for later "studies". So it´s weird for me because self help advice has never resonated, I feel depressed now so that might contribute, but even when I was feeling good I was struggling. And as you know there is more advice than you could ever go through. And I don´t intend to. But what might I be doing wrong/what am I not understanding about this? Do I need a life purpose and some kind of grounding for it to work? If not, then how do you source out a good source of advice from bad advice? The advice given are so contradictory, and it ain´t easier by brainless people saying that it changed their life. Like it says that on every self help book.— Then my thought is: maybe I am having a bad attitude towards this? Maybe I am not persistent enough and consistent enough? I want to be happy, that´s what I´m being a bitch about. And last when I was consistently happy was when I had purpose (atleast some) and when my body wasn´t injured. And these two things both are important, but they are not relevant to this. Because still then I was insecure and stupid. I couldn´t implement any self help then either. Another thought— is self help only helpful by providing techniques? Like for an example, I read six pillars of self esteem, and people have loved it but the only thing I implemented was the sentence completions. Other than that that book was like a long description of the word self esteem, I can´t see how people can use that to improve their life!! Like yes NB explained what self esteem is characterized by, but intuitively all humans know this. "be confident"- thank you. I don´t know if I am trying to fuck up all the advice given. Like am I that traumatized that my mind is unable to see possibilities of change because I am so fucked up? I don´t really see myself as that fucked up but maybe I am. I do have incredible mood swings. The only "advice" I have been able to internalize for a while in the past has been to forcefully be disciplined and to act confident. Not even practical advice is working, it´s like I am defying all biology, logic and physics for the detriment of myself.

@RMQualtroughHave you never had any benefits with self help? I guess you mean a certain kind of self help doesn´t work? You are just boggling my mind, so the people that have healed real emotional problems is this just this dopamine hit of the product? I see a lot of people myself that are praising books, courses etc. without having real results, I am just curious to what kind of self help you consider helpful and what is not. Once again I just want to see how you´re thinking, btw already watched that video and I am coming out of that trap. But ironically I am coming out of that consumtion of self help with self help, but with a different mindset of actually applying and taking action and learning more from experience.

@RMQualtroughIs really everything a scam? Honestly asking, I am confused. Maybe you are looking at it from a perspective I don´t understand.