Yoremo

@NahmI´m maybe a bit jealous of others yes. And your other statement feels completely right. And isn´t this where the dream board comes in so that I can say what I want and do it?

@NahmI do think that my happines is tied to my physicality, because I´ve been so physical all of my life and it´s been what I´ve cherished and loved (to move). I´m not so obsessed with physical ability as in performance because I´ve never been really athletic, it´s just that I have pain in my body just walking now, and before I usually dealt with my emotions through moving a lot. This made the pain go up, but I don´t know if it was because I´m paying attention to it now or because what you wrote. And to your last question: yes, if I understand you correctly. But please explain what you mean by unifying those, what does that entail more specifically? But I think that I want that.

@Michael569I got diagnosed with that like 2 years ago and the pain is similar but 2 years ago it was triggered by heavy physical labour but it doesn´t make sense now, because I´m not working out

@Nahmyes, you´re right. And I did feel it more when I read that. @Usernamewell, I do have pain across my whole chest, and I do get the pain in emotionally triggering situations but I get it sometimes without anything really happening too. It might be that I´m not aware of how I feel enough.

I don´t get it, so passion comes from within? I don´t get what you´re saying, or I get what you´re saying but what should I do with it?

I think I´m literally getting sick at this point because of my social anxiety, existencial anxiety, I´m basically anxious about everything and I´ve been sick like 6 times this autumn and I usually never get sick. And I can see a direct relationship between my negative, anxious thinking and me being sick. Actually I get disgusted it feels like by my thoughts so somedays I feel like I want to puke because all I´ve done all day is having this intense anxious, hyperalert, scared, negative voice in my head. I was thinking about reading and researching about affirmations to help increase the amount of positivity in my self-talk, is this a good approach or would I be better of doing something else? I thought I´d read two books by shad helmstetter because it seems to align with what I want. Any thoughts? I want to stop this bad cycle now so it won´t go too far and ending up with me being suicidal or super depressed, because I´m scared that I won´t be able to come out of it, even though I´m sure I would but I don´t want to try it.

I´m not so intressed in that. How do I know that what I´m doing is the "right" passion for me?

The thing is I already have a passion, I want to play soccer but I can´t (injured all the time) so I´m kind of stuck in a middleground where it´s like do I quit soccer which has been my greatest dream for atleast 4 years or do I find something else? The thing is I might be stuck in soccer, but I feel disgusted thinking about any other future than soccer so I don´t really know how to navigate.

hello, right now I´m healing my body from a lot of injuries and such, so good quality sleep is really important for me but I have not had good enough quality nor quantity (I can´t fall asleep sometimes). So what I´m doing right now is this: *I try to eat as early as possible to not disturb my sleep and not drink too much too close to bedtime *I meditate everyday for atleast 30 min right before I go to bed (I feel relaxed then and it helps to fall asleep) *I have blackout curtains in my room so it´s more or less completely dark *I have earplugs so it´s quite quiet *if I can I try to shower before I meditate because it calms me down *I have just now started to wear blue light blocking glasses like 2 hours before bedtime I think that´s it, I´d appreciate any advice for improvement if you have something that works for you. When I can´t fall asleep it´s either because 1: I am too energetic. 2: I think about disturbing things. I sometimes think about really disturbing made up conflicts in my life where other people kill me and where people are trying to get me in some way and I just get so alert when I do that but I can´t really stop those thoughts. It´s really disgusting so yeah. But other than that I don´t sleep so good during the night either.

yes, but I don´t know what to do. I´m trying to get help now No but I don´t know where to look for help, no one wants to help or can help in my life. And I have so many problems that I can´t really figure out the root cause, and definitely not how to fix it. One thing that can contribute to these problems is because my life purpose isn´t really clear, I don´t have any meaning in my life. I think that´s why I have such thoughts about catastrophes all the time because everything goes wrong in my life all the time and I´m not strong enough to handle them in a positive way. But I don´t know.

I have to be really fucking cautious right now. I´m getting that feeling "wow I´m improving" that so often leads me to self-sabotage by doing too much or doing something wrong and just wasting time. I have to really take the time to contemplate whether something is to be a part of my life and not just accept stuff blindly, that is stupid. So I´m going to think about this and try and make sense of it in terms of how I´m supposed to go forward with my development and stuff. I feel hopeless fucking again, my achilles tendon hurt just when I´m walking and I can´t fucking believe it, it´s hurting again but it should have been relieved like 3 fucking weeks ago but now it´s no better than before. Hope it´s not something fucking bad. I don´t know why I´m so reactive to things like that, I´m so up and down when it comes to emotions, just three days ago I was feeling motivated and inspired by the change I had, and now one setback later I feel like shit. I don´t know how to resolve this because it´s just so complex for my small brain and shitty work ethic. I need to keep up my work ethic but still keep time for contemplation and reflection so that I don´t get ahead of myself. I need to be smart in this, I can´t just go for it and just discipline my way through this, it´s far more complex than that. But it just feels complex of course, it´s not really so let´s fucking learn some stuff ey.

I´m just going to spill out my thoughts here to make sense of everything in my head and achieve more clarity. But feel free to comment if you want to. I´m at a crossroad in my life and I really need to pull myself together, people be like "but you´re only 17 you´re still young", but if I keep thinking that I have another shot I´ll be thinking the same until all my life has flown by. I feel so sorry for people that don´t have a idea about what life´s about or anything about themselves, it´s so sad and I see it everywhere. That´s why I want to make this journey myself to actually honor my life and live it in a way that I can feel good about. I want to feel good, I know that the possibilities are so huge if I only can be more conscious of my actions and thought and be more aware. I almost feel like every problem in my life is lack of awareness in some form. But it´s so deceiving and so hard to find out how I can think to not live this miserable life. Right now it´s miserable, I´ve been sick now for like 1.5 week and I´ve had the worst round of youtube binge and movie binge, but I do feel pretty accepting of it now, it´s not like before where I´d be supermad but still I don´t like the feeling I get from watching youtube and movies all day but now atleast I´m not ruining myself everytime. I try to accept it, but accepting is so hard and I don´t really know how to do it, and I think accepting is a word that can´t be explained simply in words, it can be in emotion but I´m unsure if my emotion of how acceptance feels is right. But it doesn´t matter, all that matters is that I´m moving forward and trying my best, if I fail I fail. Sometimes I feel so hopeless about my mind, it sometimes feels that I have to do so much to better my mentality and that I have to take so much action, and it makes me so demotivated, but I feel that there might be a much better way. It´s crazy how much perspective changes things, it´s like if I look at my life and I have the perspective of "I have so much that I need to improve and I haven´t done anything in the past" I will feel like the most unworthy person on the planet but if I just change it and use my mind to see the situation in a more positive light like "I don´t need to think about what I have and haven´t done in the past, I have the control now to be better every moment of my life" and just changing it like that have such an impact. But the thing is if you get caught up in a perspective and forget that it´s a perspective and mistake it for the truth, that´s when things go wrong. And usually that uncounsciousness compounds for me, like the past week, I felt powerless and so I stayed up until like 2 am on average just watching youtube and being in pity of myself, that´s just because I had built up the momentum of that perspective and really set my reality in that light so changing it just gets harder and harder, and it feels like some force is holding me by the computer. Like yesterday, I was watching youtube for hours at night, and I noticed that my eyes weren´t even fucking focusing on the screen, I was just looking into the distance, I wasn´t listening to the video, I wasn´t watching the video, I was just doing it in the foggiest of mental fogs. But thank god I´m feeling better now and I can go back into my routine, and funny thing is that going back to my routines isn´t even that hard, it´s just that there´s something preventing my consciousness in some fucked up way, I don´t know what it is and why it is and probably that´s why I sometimes just get in those ruts. So I´m going to try a new method to developing myself. I´m going to force myself to upgrade my habits and everything gradually and I´m going to try to be very conscious about every part of the process. So I already have a habit of meditation which is strong, I also have pretty good reading habits on the bus to school aswell as doing something with my time during breaks in school. So now I´m going to install the habit of performing the sentence completions in "the six pillars of self-esteem". So I´m just going to install that habit and be very aware about how it goes and see if it is something I want to keep going with, because usually when I get out of ruts I just want to install like 3 habits at once, and I do have good discipline so usually I follow through, but the result is never good doing that in such a stupid way. The way that´s unconscious is that I tell myself that "just do these things and it will become a lot better", and by doing so I shut of the awareness, because now I have already found the solution to my problem so I don´t need to do any rigorous mental work, I don´t really know why it works that way but it does, either it is because I´m not doing the habits good enough because I already feel satisfyed or that I´m doing too much at once or whatever but that doesn´t matter, the only thing that matters is that it doesn´t work. So well I´m going to try and keep up good habits and develop better self-esteem, happiness and whatever, but I also have to try to find something that I want to do in my life. Maybe how I should see it is that football is just one option, and that I need to consider other stuff aswell to now miss out. But I´m so confused as to what´s right and wrong for me in terms of what I choose to do with my life, I know that it can change over time but I just don´t know what will make me feel the way I want to feel. So it´s here that I´m stuck the most, and I feel that I´m becoming bitter, angry and hopeless because my life doesn´t have meaning aswell as I don´t have working coping mechanisms with my loneliness and with how I´m feeling in regards to my family. I feel that my mom loves me, but fuck does she seem to not do that, she´s always wanting to rack down on me and I know that it´s only possible because of the lack of purpose I have in life-- I´m weak right now, and she can feel it and consciously or not she´s being a fucking asshole most of the time and I try to be as calm around her as possible but it´s hard to cope with anything I have discovered when I don´t have any purpose, like before when I had football to a much more extent I could respond much more calmness and it made her calmer too because I had that foundation inside of me which was my purpose. Fuck do I want to love everything much more, I´m so sick of being this pissed of, bitter nonsocial little brat. I want to love my life more and that´s why I want to make a awesome life, and I guess it has to start somewhere so I´ll start with meditation, sentence completions to increase my self-esteem and consciousness, and learning through videos, books, audio whatever. And when I learn and develop myself enough and figure out stuff about my life like my purpose and such then I can begin to feel good. Also, I think that I have been trying to chase success, because that=happiness. But really I think that I´m starting to change on that point, I think that success in an area of life that I really enjoy+ knowing mental principles and knowing more about the world =happiness. Well, I´ll try my best. But anyhow I do have hope, not consistently but there is hope, and I think that I can pull through and make my life into a good one, I really do, although I don´t know how yet but I know that it will happen some way.

I want to improve my self-talk because I always have a lot of negative and disempowering self-talk which enforces my feelings of hopelessness and makes me not take action because I feel hopeless or just sad. I just tell myself how hard it is and I always have the most negative aspect of reality in my self-talk for some reason. I have tried to get more positive self-talk through affirmations, visualization etc but it hasn´t worked, but maybe I was doing it wrong what do I know.

Feeling a lot better now, getting into a routine now again which feels so good, starting to get really good sleep again since my sickness, although still getting very sleepy periods during the day. Feeling less and less intruiged to watch youtube, although I still watch it it isn´t as bad as it was as when I was sick. everything is starting to get put together. Starting to realize that I can choose what kind of thought I focus on and what kind of thoughts I just accept and let flow by. The last days of meditation has brought to me such a positive feeling about life (not present all the day but still), like I understand more now, either I can let my reality be the worst imaginable or I make it the best imaginable, because it feels like I am creating something with my mind, either I´m creating some beautiful heaven-like existence or I´m creating hell, but I´m completely responsible and completely in control when I understand this. I feel such good feelings sometimes that I can´t even begin to explain- it´s impossible. That´s the same for negative feelings aswell. The most reocurring negative feeling is that of hopelessness, mostly when I´m focusing on thoughts like "there´s so much to do and understand", or "it´s going so bad for me I feel so bad", or "I´m so lost buhu", but the main point that I want to internalize and embody is that if I think these thoughts, focus on them and then feel the corresponding feelings, then it´s my making. Every feeling has to go through my mental processes to be allowed to determine my feelings, I know this because if I remain vigilant and face pain and fear and uncertainty with courage and affirmation that "it´s going to be okay no matter what" then I don´t feel the same way, and I can live my life in the awy I want. I guess this is the LOA. I think I seek after meaningful company very badly too, I have no friends and I definitely have no best friend. Today when I was with some girls I couldn´t even fucking meet their face, I shyed away and turned away my look everytime we talked and our eyes met, this is the result of a man not meeting his needs of pursuing something greater than him and developing himself and being the person he wants to be, and this is what I want to change. OBSERVATION: I have already tried the "no pain no gain" disciplined approach to life, and while I will continue doing that, the non beneficial mindset that I had was that I will just outwork everybody. However I realize that I have to also work smart, because if I don´t work smart then I can work as hard as I can but not get where I want to be and I will probably fuck up something in my life, like I did when I trained too hard and too much and too stupidly: I injured myself and now my body is a wreck and it derailed me pretty bad. But I don´t feel bad about such things anymore because I see it as a necessety to come to where I want to go, it´s a learning process and that includes experiences that feel devastating in the moment, but that´s only because I can´t see the bigger picture when that´s happening, but I will make myself insightful enough to not be blind in those moments, because the sooner I can accept those defeats the sooner I can get back on track.

I keep coming back to my bad habits and the worst one by far is youtube, but also food sometimes and comfort. Could this be because I don´t have a strong enough life purpose so I don´t really have motivation to pursue anything so I just go with what feels best in the moment? Or is it because of something else

What do you mean by this?

Feelings going up and down. My body is still hurting, I don´t know if the training I´m doing is doing any good for me and I feel so uncertain sometimes. But I discipline my mind to focus on the positive, the chance that it´s going to work out well. My progress physically is so rough and it has always been so bad so I can´t really imagine that I have found something that actually will work this time. Progress will be up and down, there will be up and downs, but in my past the end result has always been a down so that´s what´s haunting my head at the moment: what if I just wasted a LOT of money and time on something that doesn´t work? But no matter if it works or not, it will bring me closer to my goals. I will do my best to recover and sleep as much as I can, eat as good of food as I can, hydrate and keep a positive mind. The most important is that I don´t follow the natural ups and downs in life with my mind, my mind shall be forever set and focused, there is no time to waste on having my mind wawer. I will start to commit now, if I don´t I won´t get anything, if I do I´ll either succed or I won´t, but if I don´t commit I won´t even know if I succeded or not because I didn´t set a conscious intention. Fuck school thoug, I´m trying to stay positive and just do the work. Well, I´ll have to continue doing that but thank god music exists, because otherwise school wouldn´t be as easy as it actually is. Today I feel pain in my achilles for some reason, everytime I get some kind of setback like this I succumb to a negative, hopeless mindset, but not this time, this time I will keep my mind on the positive for a change and keep on doing good, I will not get stuck in my mind and negative though loops, because I will just observe this and then it will go away and I will be able to focus on whatever I want. I realized that meditation is so good because it allows my mind to slow down in some way so that I can consciously choose what I want to focus on, aswell that meditation just feels good, I feel this warm feeling in my entire body and I feel so god damn calm and I can feel unstoppable for that little while. Fuck do I feel insecure in school, and everywhere else. I care so much it´s not even funny. I don´t know how to handle it, maybe there is nothing to do in the moment but rather the insecurity I feel is a direct result of lack of purpose and goals and self esteem because of a lack of self respect etc.

Yes judgment feels bad. So when you say it´s preference do you mean that I am capable of referring to myself as whatever I want? Maybe so but still I feel that it is quite hard, do I just start and build up the picture of myself that I want? And start acting that way so I reinforce it? I do believe there is a me, but the "I" that I´m referring to, is that just a compilation of thoughts gathered in my memory? Like do you mean that the past "me" (in this case "me" being in a state of pessimism) has nothing to do with the present moment because everything else is just memory and not true for this moment? What do you mean with self referential thought loop? So I´m focusing my mind on the same thought of "I´m being pessimistic about this and that" and I stay in the same thought patterns like "this sucks" or whatever? I don´t get either how I am supposed to move on to another emotion through expression, do you mean expression as in me thinking in new patterns or how do you mean? So I´m focusing on something bad in face of boredom, which is causing the bad feelings which I then want to resolve and then I come to one of my "bad" habits. Does judgement always feel bad? I guess you mean the negative judgment of things or do you mean that I shouldn´t judge anything as either bad or good? So I should believe that I don´t have any problems? What is the contrary to being solution-oriented? So do you mean that thinking that I have problems causes me to deny myself the freedom to do what I want with what I want? Sorry for asking so many questions but I don´t know how else I am to wrap my head around this, because it is very counter-intuitive for me and therefore pretty hard to understand.

Hi everybody! I´ve been taking in information from books, videos etc. but I have had some problems finding a good process to start and embody the information. I do something different everytime and the result is quite inconsistent and bad that way. So do you have any advice on how I could read in a way so that it´s easier to start and embody it? And how do you do when you find information/help that is not something you need right now but later?

@Terell KirbySo through taking action I gain clarity because of my experience going after something purposeful. Thank you for this reminder, I have started to slip with my action because it has begun to feel a bit meaningless but I´m discovering right now that it´s all in my head. But other than that I wonder what I can do apart from taking action, if there´s some other action that can either reinforce my present purpose in my life or help me find my other one. Like something like Leo´s course, but I wonder what that action could be (maybe it´s to buy his course and do it but I´m asking you since you probably have experience in this)

Hi everybody! I´m 17 years old and I´m currently going to college in Sweden in a very general course in the natural sciences. Since I´ve been like 12 I´ve always been wanting to become a soccer (football) player and I have trained very diligently during these years, and I don´t know if soccer is the "right" thing to go for but that is what has made me excited. But since I was like 14 I´ve been constantly injured and unable to train and play, coming to now when I´ve been almost been completely injured for 3 years. Right now I´m on the path of fixing this problem of injuries but as you could imagine I´m behind in my development compared to all the other guys. So during these 3 years I´ve been kind of doing things on and of to improve my mentality like visualization, affirmations and stuff like that, but nothing really stuck with me for the long run (altough right now I´ve been meditating atleast for 30 min a day for like 6 or so months). I think part of that has to do with my supercomfortable upbringing and the knowledge that I´m "safe". Because of that I´ve been escaping this reality to a lot of addictions, especially mindless youtube watching to wait until I can feel like I have control again (when I can play and improve). Because of this my self-esteem, confidence, happiness have gone down significantly and my anxiety and stress have gone up so much about me wasting my time at my college where I don´t like it at all and about me just coasting through life through the path of least resistance and least amount of conscious action. So I´ve been feeling really hopeless the last 1.5 years and completely out of control of my life. And I can feel pain in my body just walking and sitting, even though as I said I´ve found my problem with injuries. So now I really want to drop out of college, because I feel like doing something that doesn´t resonate with you at all and you don´t see any future or purpose in isn´t worth "sacrificing" for and spending a lot of time on. And I´ve been studying Leo´s videos aswell as listening to podcasts of different people and this has made me more courageous and openminded and I´m willing to drop out of college and all of that. But I also don´t want to do it stupidly and not have a plan and just sit around and do nothing. But I do want to live meaningfully which is why I want to drop out of school. And my mentality is just a mess right now I feel, and I feel so confused and I feel like I have no direction of action. Like I´m taking notes and all of this on videos of Leo aswell as on books and other stuff but I just don´t really know what to do, it feels like I can´t do anything to better my situation because even though I have access to so much wisdom I don´t do anything, I´m very intrigued by the idea to master soccer (because I had a taste of that before I could hardly move), but I have so dominantly negative feelings and a sense of hopelessness and lack of clarity. Sorry I couldn´t make it shorter but I´m so fucking lost. It feels like I´m just spinning my wheels with my gas fully on. I don´t even really know what my question is because I have so many of them but any advice about what I can get started with or whatever, or any thoughts on anything and I´d truly be grateful, because the sheer amount of areas to improve and self-help advice and advice in general is making me so unfocused on everything and I´m probably also looking in the wrong places.

@Terell KirbyOkay, that seems smart. I will try to do that. My question I think is more how I find my purpose and kind of what´s right or wrong for me. Because I want to take more inspired action but I do not seem to be able to create a clear and compelling vision of what I want. Because I have always taken a lot of action but it has always been quite uninspired and I´ve just relied upon willpower, I´m not really following my dreams it feels like. I think that being a footballer is my dream but still I don´t quite feel like I´m following my dream when I´m doing that, and I don´t necessarily think that it´s because football isn´t for me, although that might be the case I don´t think so because I love so many aspects of it it´s just I don´t know how to get that total commitment and drive.

I feel very demotivated to do any school work right now. Like what´s the point. I guess I just have to stick with it, and I can be motivated of the thought that if I don´t do it right now I won´t be able to do anything else either, I just have to do that work right now, I can´t just quit. And procrastinating about it right now is only going to spill over other things, so it´s really in my interest right now to do the work, since I am still in school. I feel so tired today but my routines are coming back together again, which is nice. Slept like 8.5 hours last night or something so I´m on my way. Just feel so dead today. But I have to make good use of my time now so I don´t need to redo anything or so that I don´t need to do schoolwork when I really want to work on myself like weekends and such, aswell as I won´t be able to rest anything then. Other than feeling sleepy I feel pretty neutral, not so conscious of what I´m doing but trying my best. I will really grind this day out so I´ll be able to sleep good tonight and then I´ll just feel better everyday, but today and maybe tomorrow is going to be tough, but that´s welcome.

@Adoddwhat do you mean?

clarification to myself: the reason I want to improve my habits and optimize my life is because when I do find my life purpose I should be able to act on it from a stable foundation, so the motivation for this habitbuilding is going to be the hope for a better future and just the positive picture I have in my mind of what my future can be like if I develop what I can right now. Focus on what I can control, acknowledge what I can´t and let it go. I really do need to find a path to find my life purpose, I need to clarify this because right now I´m just mumbling about life purpose but I´ve to actually have something to go on.