Yoremo

@somegirl thank you, good luck on you too!

how do I act around my parents? It feels very weird to be myself with my parents and I feel very uncomfortable around them in a way. I feel like I am censoring my self. I don´t want to express myself genuinly around my parents because I kind of feel dirty doing that in a weird way. I care very much about their opinions and they have very harsh opinions on everything so this makes it tough. I think though that my obssesion with my parents will be significantly less when I have started to go out and socialize with people and finding other social outlets than my parents, because they are a bad fucking outlet, they have built up this culture or whatever that we aren´t very close to each other. They aren´t authentic to me either really. I don´t know why, like I was so innocent as a child and they still felt the need to be someone else around me? I don´t know, feeling more and more empathy for them though because they probably had it rough and didn´t have anything to get them out of that like I have with the internet. The internet is just so fucking good man, if you use it the correct way. Like I would not have come anywhere if internet didn´t exist. Even now, even though I am not so developed, the internet has helped me to be a lot more open minded, and through self actualizing work and stuff like it the internet will probably be the reason why my life will be great. But it will also be the reason as to why so many people lives are miserable. So there´s good and bad about it. I think that if I was born like 200 years ago I would have a quite easy life in that it isn´t much freedom and not much to figure out. Everything was predetermined kind of. And now I have the priveleges that almost noone in history have had and still it´s probably harder than anyone has ever had. Actually no, I don´t think so when I wrote that. I am just being in a rough patch and thinking it is bigger than it actually is. But tradition does make it easy in a way that you can just numb your mind and everything will be fine, and I guess there is a way to do that even in today´s society. Actually most people probably do and maybe then I am just thinking shit. I am choosing right now to go against society, not for the sake of it but for the sake of me wanting a good life and that might mean that I actually go with society or not, doesn´t matter all I care about is if I want to do it. But that does take some kind of internal courage, and it is tough to navigate through life right now. But actually keeping on learning and stuff will make i easier and easier and being open minded that there might always be better ways to think and act. Kind of excited to get back with people again now, kind of sick of being at home stuck with my parents, and I hope I can find the courage to get out there to socialize with people, I really want to but I am scared, but what the hell I will do it incrementally and then everything will be okay, and I really want to do it also so it will probably just feel hard before I have actually done anything but when I do it it will probably be easy.

So this year I will be more patient and more thought through than other years. Other years I have only wanted to achieve outer success and stuff like this. This year I am going to approach my life differently, I am going to have a good look at my foundations. My beliefs, my self image, my traumatic experiences, my conditioning. All the other years I have always thought that external success is the way to go, and the way I did this was through a lot of discipline and suppressing other wishes and emotions I had in pursuit of this goal which I wasn´t even sure was worth it. So I want to take a good look at, and start my journey of understanding myself and how I can change the reality I am in inside out instead of outside in. I have kind of known that the external isn´t as important as the inner, but through living life quite miserably doing the approach of external focus, I am going to start and look inwards instead. Experience really is king, and me experiencing how life and reality is mostly dependent on your internal state and not how hard you work. So there are basically no goals this year. No clear cut goals, just some of them are out in the external, most of them are internal and building and developing myself from the foundation and up. And the foundation is the internal. I am going to search out some resources (books and videos) so I can start this journey of discovering myself and how I work. These resources are going to be about emotions, self-image, conditioning, beliefs, and really anything which will help me understand myself and how I work. Other than learning and understanding and embodying that knowledge about myself this year I will: *get better at socializing *Life Purpose *Pain and injury free *re-start soccer again and try it out (if it aligns with what I want to do still when I am able to play again) *buy a car *get a drivers license So it will still be alot, and maybe I won´t be able to finish it all, but focus will be on the inner working of me and then just doing these points because I want to.

I´m right now going to school but I don´t want to continue this path because I don´t like it, I want to do something more meaningful. I don´t know how to get my passion and vision clearer in my mind and more compelling. I can not get that feeling for anything really, I can´t seem to get anything compelling enough for me to stick with it in the long run. I would really appreciate any help and advice on this, I feel this is what´s holding me back because what´s the reason to improve if you do not have a vision? I have tried and tried but it doesn´t seem to work.

I feel that the way out, and the way in for me is to help myself. I can watch videos, read books, get all kinds of advice. But when do I stick to it? When do I actually enjoy it? When is it meaningful? When does change feel good? — WHEN I DERIVE THE ANSWERS AND THINK AND DECIDE FOR MYSELF, CONSCIOUSLY! Which is exactly why my usage of this forum has been mostly me not taking responsiblity of my life and being a man to take care of myself. I still feel that advice on techniques and small directional advices is really good, but I have been trying to get rid of the responsibility of taking own decisions in my life, and that just doesn´t work that way! Which is probably why therapists don´t give advice, they just guide you to give yourself advice and help yourself. Because in the end, the only person which will be with you 24/7 is you, no matter how helpful a friend or something is, in the end everything is on you. And this truth is probably good to embody as soon as possible, because if I am reliant on others to grow and develop, then I won´t grow or develop. But notice the word "reliant", so that means I can still get advice and tips from others, but this is what a lot of people lack I think — responsibility for their life and owning themselves and their life. This requires a good amount of balance to do this healthy as many things, but be conscious of the difference of being reliant on others and being supported by others. These are my thoughts about this right now, and I think it ties nicely to the victim mindset which I am riding myself of now (in the making atleast). I thought of these thoughts because of the thread "no answers." so thank you for that thread

And I believe that I am right in that the right or the way that makes more sense is to try and make life so that everything is really easy. Not saying that I should only do the easy things, but hard things should be easy most of the time. Easy as in not something I hate or condemn, because doing something you hate is really hard (from own experience). The goal is to develop yourself so that I can do only what makes me feel good, and this has the foundation in a developed mind, a mind which isn´t catastrophical and negative out of default. It is a mind that is right, I don´t really know or can articulate in all the ways the mind works when it does in this way, but the net worth of emotions is really positive in the end. Yes, there might be a lot of resistance, but I believe the perception of resistance and pain and struggle is very different when the mind if different. Which further arguments that I do not need to look outwards for solutions, I need to look inwards into my mind and decide what to create. But at the same time there exists outer solutions for some problems, like changing diet and stuff. But I feel like this is just so foundational that it is a requirement for a high level of mindset. The argument of looking inwards is only used in other contexts than the ones which rely upon outer circumstance (this isn´t clear at all, I know. The way to know if it is something in the mind or not is to try). For example: I feel mad and angry at everyone in the world. This doesn´t mean that I need to change the whole world, it means that I need to change myself. But on the contrary: I might feel really fatigued and I eat shit and sleep shit: then there is no solution on the inside, the solution is changing your behavious, which is still changing yourself but it is changing yourself to change the environment to make the environment advantageous to develop. Hmmmmm, I have not got this down I feel. But I don´t feel like the trap is that I missed something (necessarily) it is mostly that if I let myself get hopeless and feeling confused, then I have fallen into the trap. The trap is one step further down the path, but it could also be that I don´t actually understand psychology and stuff. But the antidote is probably to keep feeling good and keep living life and then the answers are going to unfold. I feel that sometimes I fall into this. Like, okay I may not know everything down to the specifics but that doesn´t entail that I need to get hopeless or confused, it is okay to feel that for a while. But to feel that way for an extended period of time just doesn´t make sense for me anymore. It just wastes the time to actually figure things out and to live life.

I think that first of all I need to optimize my sleep as far as I possibly can — so I can say "fuck off" to sleep and not care about it so fucking much and just have it going on in the background of my life and so it doesn´t take so much mental capacity from me. So this is my list of things I will do/ will buy now: Habits: * try and get myself exposed to sunlight during the day *Put on my blue light blocking glasses 2-3 hours before bedtime *Not consume caffeine (haven´t consumed caffeine in like a month but I must remain vigilant and not fuck up because caffeine is not making me feel good) *Go to bed and wake up at the same times throughout the week (even on the weekends, will probably have to fuck up once a week because I am going ooout) *I am taking magnesium, will not take any other supplements because I like to consume supplements because they stimulate my fantasy of a magic pill to solve all my problems, but magnesium works a bit so I will continue to take it. *won´t drink alcohol, haven´t yet and I´m 17 and I will continue this way *I have blackout curtains, earplugs to make me sleep better *I try to eat atleast 2 hours before I sleep, but I can´t really decide that because I am a bit dependent on my parents but they seem to help me to make dinner in a good time *I am doing meditation and breathwork right before I go to bed to make me feel good and make it easier for me to sleep *I try to exercise as much as I can during the days — it will be more though when I have healed my body from pains and injuries *I don´t drink any water for like 1 hour or 2 before bed so that I don´t have to go up and pee during the night And these habits are going to make my sleep a lot better. But one thing that I need to change is my mattres, pillow and blanket. Because there are a lot better versions of these made to make me sleep better. I think that I can get hold of a weighted blanket which should be good, because my parents just bought for themselves and said they could buy one for me aswell, and I can test out my fathers blanket so I will and see if it helps out. I could probably get another pillow aswell. But I looked up mattresses and they cost about 500 dollars so I will probably just wish that for my birthday and hope I can get it. Will research and talk to my parents about it today during dinner.

So how could I incorporate these into my life as quick as possible without it completely everwhelming my life to the point that I can´t do anything else? Habits: meditation on the bus breathwork and 30 min meditation in the evening before bed (45 minutes, no real harm to my time by this) Listening to affirmations when I am doing stupid work (school) and doing situational self-talk and such as in the self talk book I read (going to take proper notes of the book so that I can make my affirmations as powerful as I can) — probably not too much effort, just a change in the way I use my mind aswell that I get used to listening to affirmations during the day instead of music. Doing some kind of habit of convincing myself of myself (my higher self) where I set intention during weekend and prove it to myself in some way — takes some time and requires a lot of effort but I can go pretty slow forward, and going slow forward is probably the way to go aswell. I need to continue researching these areas of self image and emotions through Leo´s videos aswell as reading books and checking the internet. This takes a lot of time and takes effort to take good notes and then actually acting on it. Have to make some kind of plan of how I should learn, i.e. how and when I read to learn stuff. Maybe I can do that during the weekends only in between me going out (have to be socializing, which is my goal and I will make this clearer) when I take buses aswell as in the dead time before the partys and stuff. Maybe I can commit to learn every weekend for some kind of time period like "every weekend I learn stuff for 10 hours" — and making embodying and making the information my own a part of this so I can actually use it. I would need to do the LP course also but I really don´t know how the course is and therefore I can´t really asses it. But probably it would take time during the whole week, and to do both the LP course aswell as resears about emotions and stuff would probably be too much. So maybe I could fix my understanding and experience of emotions, self-image and stuff and then I could begin the LP course after a couple of months, but the main thing is fixing my emotions and self-image and stuff.

So I will start to plan them out and suggest things to achieve these goals (like habits and exercises). So this is my first try, and this is just what I feel inwards that could help me to achieve those four points. 1: Gain emotional leverage and positive emotions about life in general and my goals and purpose in particular: Meditation! I have felt more and mroe the last months that meditation makes me see life in a much brighter light, so I will do meditation in the morning on the bus, and I will do breathwork and then 30 min meditation in the evening (that is also because I sleep better if I do that). Affirmations! I feel very good about affirmations! I have fallen of the wagon quite intentionally now because it is very hard to do affirmations when I am at home, but when school starts it is a lot more practical and doable. And then I have to listen and repeat affirmation that "life is good" basically + affirmations to boost my confidence and my belief. 2: I need to change my self image to believe that I can achieve and also bust some limiting belief about myself about what I "can´t do" Don´t really know. Got the book "psycho cybernetics" recommended to me by someone on the forum so I will probably try and read this soon. I believe that it is mostly to set the intention of how I want to be and then proving it to myself aswell as repeating the affirmations of that person to further engrain the belief. So what I mean is that I write down on paper what I want to be for example "I am good with women", then I work to figure out stuff that can make me better with women, and then I prove it to myself. This is almost a game, where I reinforce my identity. Another component of reinforcing identity is repetition — the more I repeat something the more I identify as someone who does what I am doing often, and this changes my self-image. {Other than that I don´t really know, but I don´t know if I am lying to myself in the direction that I think that I should derive answers mostly from myself and keep it simple or that I really should look for answers, but I feel that my self derived answers makes me take action in a better way and more congruent way in some fucking way, don´t understand this fucking world dude} 3: I need to only do things which I actually have a meaning for and which I want to do, genuinely. Basically, if I can´t find a reason as to why I should do something — then I don´t do it. And I should make this as a value of mine. One thing that does irritate me though is that I will have to go to school, which I don´t want to do but if I quit now I´d probably go into some scary depression because school enables to get some needs met which I cant meet in any other way (like meeting people) and it is also a sense of comfort and safety, and I need to develop myself more before I can go out in the world single handedly, but my goal is that I should be able to that after this year. This year´s goal is really to find myself and find belief and use my emotions in my favor. 4: I need to stop being a victim and take 100 % responsibility for everything in my life, fuck blame, that´s not what this is about, it´s all about taking responsibility to be able to change. I´m currently watching Leo´s all videos on victim mindset and I am going to get rid of this. Well, I am watching Leo´s videos so I´ll continue that and then try and ACTUALLY take action on it. I don´t feel like it really, just watching the videos feel pretty good, but the atualizing this just .... I HAD AN EPIPHANY!!!!!!!!! The reason I don´t want to take action is because my belief of HOW it is going to feel to take action on it, like how defuq do you know how it feels bro? This realization just made it feel a lot better now, and I am confident that I will do it. I will do whatever it takes to get rid of my victim mindset, and if I have to guess I would guess that I would need to meditate on this a lot and contemplate it and remain conscious of it A LOT, and also sitting down and realizing where I have this victim mindset so that I can be more conscios and alert when those situations and contexts arise. I realised one more thing that I probably need, which maybe is related to the other points to a great extent but whatever: 5: Finding my life purpose, more specifically doing the LP course — so many people has praised it on this forum so it has to be really insightful and this is probably also very foundational to everything else So I have all these pointers that I want to achieve and that rewuires work. So I need to compile some plan which doesn´t fuck me up in its great volume, it has to be balanced.

So I can start with dividing my goals into different categories: 1: Goals that require me to buy things. 2: Goals that require me to do things regurarly throughout the whole year to bring results 3: Goals that require me to do things during a period of time So in the past my main problem has been great doubt of myself and more generally just overwhelmingly bad feelings (which has led me to do things to suppress this through youtube, bad food, tv, movies, mostly youtube though — like yesterday night I watched yuoutube from like 9pm to 4 am because of the emotions I felt and that I didn´t want to face them and so I tried to hide myself basically — and this has to stop. Because even when I had my purpose and goals in soccer I still watched youtube alot even though it wasn´t as extreme as now.) So I need to: 1: Gain emotional leverage and positive emotions about life in general and my goals and purpose in particular 2: I need to change my self image to believe that I can achieve and also bust some limiting belief about myself about what I "can´t do" 3: I need to only do things which I actually have a meaning for and which I want to do, genuinely. This is just to not do my coping mechanism and self destructive behaviour of shuting off everything and turning into a passive human being and a victim. And now I remembered that: 4: I need to stop being a victim and take 100 % responsibility for everything in my life, fuck blame, that´s not what this is about, it´s all about taking responsibility to be able to change. I´m currently watching Leo´s all videos on victim mindset and I am going to get rid of this. So it´s okay for me to plan my goals now. And I will also start and incorporate action which leads to some of these goals right away, but the main focus of the beginning is going to be to fix the above four. And really, if I can only do the above four points this year then I am going to be delighted: because the above four will ensure such a more smooth life than if I don´t have them (and I don´t have any of them down yet). So I will plan out those four with intent and more focus and intonation on those than anything else.

@hyruga no, haven´t read psycho cybernetics.

Hey guys, hope you´re all well and happy new year! I have had some difficulties implementing theory into practice, I don´t really know how I should convert theoretical information into practical, concrete action. I watched the episode "learning=behaviour change" and much of it was about that I need to clearly know what would change in my life of of theory. I just find it really tough to convert theory into something actionable. Like for an example, I have taken notes on the "how to get laid" series, but I don´t know how to 1: take any action on it, and 2: how to sort through the sheer amount of information, I took like up to 30 pages of notes, so how do I make all of these pages of notes into something I can do something about?

I really feel like finding my own answers is a responsibility which I have to take! And I feel that I have been a bit too dependent on answers from other people on this forum on things which I could find out myself if I just used my mind and focused on that singular problem. But I feel that I want to have help with getting the tools or techniques to do this and I would really appreciate it if someone could help me

I feel like there has to be some kind of process where I discover the answers myself, and make them my own aswell as changing how I view myself. Some kind of contemplation or something (don´t really know what contemplation is and haven´t really done it). Because just getting answers doesn´t feel satisfying enough to embody them in some way, and I feel that to make something your own you have to slow down thoughts and contemplate it deeply. I feel that there has to be some practice where I can focus on something I want to learn and make it my own (don´t know how to say it better, just feels like I make it my own).

The only way I have discovered of changing myself is through affirming myself whenever a hard situation arises and trying to prove to yourself that you are what you are affirming. But the downside to that was that I felt it was really hard to do this on several things at once. So I could change myself so that I didn´t care about what others thought about me (that´s what I affirmed to myself and tried to live by) but it was hard to do several self-image changes at once.

@hyruga how would do to change the way you see yourself?

@Thought Art ah shit, my bad. Where to meet up with people of course

Hey! I am going to try and overcome my introversion (basically just a clusterfuck of limiting belief I got from my parents) and try and socialize a lot more. I just thought about this first a couple of days ago, but my goal is to atleast "get rid of" my virginity but the best would be to get a girlfriend. I´m 17 and I am still a virgin and if I´m going to be completely honest I don´t have much else going for me. And I think I have figured out why I haven´t been able to make any progress in other areas in my life-- because I´m highly dependent on being around people and socialize to feel good, but since I grew up in a family where that wasn´t very important I don´t socialize one bit. So my plan so far is just to watch Leo´s series on "how to get laid" and then see if I need to research anything else from there. I watched the first video and what I got from it was that this is a lot about developing myself as a man and essentially all other aspects in my life and pull my shit together. So I´ll probably work on my self esteem and stuff in that line and also just be more passionat about life because funnily enough the only thing that has motivated me really deep inside is having a girl. Because I have never had one and I have always been very socially anxious (I´m very good socially if I want to but usually I get scared or something and kind of hide and shy away). Anyways, I feel very motivated like never before and I should follow what I want, right? Well my question is, I live on a remote island which mostly has old rich people on it (because people think it´s pretty here). And I looked it up and there´s around 5000 girls 16-24. And I don´t know at all where I can meet these girls, because it´s mostly private parties and all of that here. It´s a small place and I can´t get out of here in a couple of years. But do you have any advice on how I could meet up with them? I will try and ask around and that but the thing is I haven´t hung out with anyone in years because "it´s fun", so I feel completely out in the blue on this one so I´d really appreciate some help from someone who isn´t as non social as me and how I can get to meet people, because I have literally no idea as of now.

@Roy yep, probably just seeking validation. A bit scary to throw myself out there but I am so looking forward to it too! Because I am so lonely that the pain of being alone is just a lot more than the pain of socializing at this point. Thank you!

Well, I have a sister of 9 yrs so yes I do. I will start to socialize with girls but just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing to just start socializing with women, doesn´t always feel so good to do that for me atm.

yeah, I just need to get some initial confidence and start socializing and start to engage in what I usually look down at (I don´t know why I´m so bitter, I think I´m bitter of seeing happy people socializing because I feel internally that I can´t do that, even though I know I want that part of my life). I´ll try and just have the intentions of getting more comfortable around people and then I think I have got the attraction down already—when I look back I see how many girls were attracted to me but I was just too stupid to realize or escalate it (thinking that "no, how could they like me" and doubting myself taking another step with them). But now I know that so I´ll be able to look out for it and do the right thing. @Thought Art Ask around for what?

So what goals do I want to pursue first? And how do I pursue them (i.e the process)? I could follow a model like SMART goals or something, and yes I can double check on the SMART model of goal-setting, but the most important thing I figured out is that my plan and strategy and everything around achieving my goal should be constructed in a way that I really want it. What I mean is that I don´t do it mechanically, that I think inside and outside of the box to make things work. *the goal of me being pain free will be an ongoing process during the whole year because I need consistent effort to achieve higher fascial fitness levels to make my body resistant. *getting rid of acne is through facial hygiene, through my skin gel (I think that that is sufficient because I have not had as much acne since I started with it) And for me to be able to really do anything else I need to develop my mind to be more positive, hopeful and raise my vibration (emotional scale), so affirmations is good for that, and this journal will help me achieve clarity, I will write out my notes on my computer of "atomic habits" tomorrow I think so that I can start and use that knowledge, I will try and use the emotional scale and dream board. Will think about how to do this more in detail more, have some ideas right now about that though. My idea of the emotional scale is just when I feel the worst in school (and don´t get anything done anyways) then I just go through the emotional scale. The dreamboard is a bit tougher, I can´t have my dreamboard in the middle of my living space because I don´t want my parents to see it, but through meditation and everything else it should feel natural when I should use it. Getting myself to feel a bit better is a pretense for me to be able to consider taking on more, because I fear the wall I hit when I do too much and I don´t want to do anything—because that usually means starting over from zero for me—but I will not let anything like that happen anyways but I need the emotional quality no matter what to be able to achieve this year and beyond. I will make physical lists of my goals and what I really want to do first thing, physical because it makes it easier to get a view over everything. And I will have to consider what I want, what order would be most beneficial for the greater good and that´s basically it. In the past I have tried to set goals aswell, but it hasn´t worked well and I want to analyze that a bit, not now though, have to go to bed. I think that I will try and see if I can find places and people to socialize with since this feels the most important to me now, and the thing I´m most interested in and driven and passionate and the thing I feel the most good feelings about. And then this means work on me as a person to handle all the social aspects of my life, aswell as finding peace with my parents and my situation and my realationship with them. I have a lot of difficulties of writing stuff like this, I tend to write a bit then watch youtube or something because that makes me feel better, but I´ll harness my drive and desire for this one and plan and strategize this one out during the coming week. Hey! also I don´t need to train this week! It has really been a "need" to train the last 12 weeks, it has been so mind numbingly hard, I feel nervous already thinking about how hard it will be again, but empowered mindset doesn´t care. Let´s recover good and feel good now so I can tackle and attack the training once it starts again on wednesday!

So I will track my habits, I will start doing this on 10 january when I start school and routine kicks in again. (I will do this more or less until that too though, just not tracking) The habits I want to start with: morning routine and habits: *wake up right away by 05:55 am *drink one liter *sentence completions *Brush my teeth, put on skin lotion, get my hair done, putting on perfume and deoderant (in that order) * I will bring a water bottle to school and I will drink around 1-2 liters during the day—depending on how I feel Then I ride the bus to school and home — like 45 minutes.: So I´m going to have to make use of my time on the bus in one of the following ways: (the accountability will be to see that I atleast did something on the bus) *meditation (on the breath) *Reading and highlighting/noting the pages with good stuff on *Watching a video about smth (not that good to do though since wifi doesn´t always work on the bus) [I will just feel what I want to do and most of the time it will probably be the meditation because of how I have felt the last period of time.] Evening routine: *breathwork (either 5 min or 11 min, depending on how I feel) *30 min meditation *I will do my workout routine (fascial training the days I need to, atleast rolling and tc everyday, and then the full workout every other day with flexibility to take two days off if I feel like that would be better) During the weekends: *on saturday doing 30 min (slowly increasing) shamanic breathing (feels good) *on sunday doing the schedule for the week (scheduling in all of the activities and habits so it works with school and appointments) *on sunday cleaning my room (vaccuming, cleaning up my floor, desk and changing the bedding) during school: *Listening to atleast 2 hours of affirmations (while I´m doing stuff, not something active) Getting good sleep: *taking on blue light blockers 2 hours before bedtime *going to bed at 9pm the absolute latest *writing out this journal (don´t care when, I will just get it done, I will figure out the optimal times to do this when I start my routines) This is the bare minimum which I feel I need to feel good. Note: I have many of these pretty nailed down already— have some new things on the list which are on the works more like sentence completions and listening to affirmations, but this is a good start and will ensure a baseline level of feeling good. I don´t know if these are bad, maybe some are, but as I said before—as long as I have clarity and thought it through it´s okay to fail. I don´t really know how to track these habits technically yet—I don´t know how to write it out on this forum without it being a complete pain in the ass.

I am ending this diary here, because I can´t have a diary for each and every one habit and thing-- so I will take advantage over the benefits of journaling in my other journal, and affirmations will start more seriously when I start school because that routine will make it a lot easier to hold up that routine.

So I´m going to try affirmations for real. I´ve tried them in the past but I have half-assed it and so I remained pretty much the same. I do remember though that I listened to affirmations throughout the day, and this was very valuable to me because it reinforced the habit of talking to myself in an empowering way, there´s no way I can just start to use good self talk on my own, it´s too hard so I will begin with listening to affirmations throughout the day when I´m doing stuff that I can listen to affirmations (studying, walking, reading etc.). My thought is that I will start with that and then start doing affirmations on my own, and starting small like 2 minutes and then increase from there. I feel that affirmations are the next thing for me, and it ties together with visualization which I will probably get even more aware of down the road. Because as it is right now if I try to visualize my success etc. I can´t help but automatically visualize the worst things imaginable (more or less) and I think that this will help because I have felt small parts of it myself. I will try and use affirmations for all areas of my life to ensure balance, I think that will happen quite naturally. I believe from the little experience I have had so far from affirmations that they are a very natural way of speaking to yourself, to create. It´s like if you were to do a pb in the gym, you would say "I can do it", "this is fucking easy" and feel the strength inside of you and visualize the weight going up. It´s the process of creating something which isn´t (that´s what creating is). These are just my thought, my thesis if you want and now I will try it out for my own gain hopefully. During these first weeks I will research affirmations a bit more, I have two books on it and I look on the internet for advice and stuff, but I think it´s rather easy but from my experience I usually stick to something that I have consciously researched with the intent of using that information. Almost all of what I said is still very theoretical so I´ll be able to comprehend this for sure when this is over. I have seen that most people have seen good results from 3 months of affirmations so I will commit to 3 months (90 days) of affirmations, and if it works out I will continue. This journal will be my first journal of a improvement technique and maybe it will help me in more ways than just with the affirmations. I will set an alarm that will go off everyday so that I get reminded of writing down what I did everyday (so that I can hold myself accountable which I´m not the best at right now but from now on that will be an "I am responsible" haha) So it will go like this: *stating the day *What did I do today and for how long? *how do you feel? I want to see if I automatically get more positive and empowering self talk day to day also so write that down if you notice that (this is my thesis) *any other thoughts around this Easy as that, I just want to make this journal to start this habit. But I´ll of course build other habits other than this one but I´ll focus on this one for a couple of weeks so that I don´t get all sad and all that I have been in the past when I´ve tried to do too much.