Thewizardking

@Leo Gura I would love to hear you talk to Dr K, aka Healthygamergg. Probably a good chance he would talk to you

I've been working on a music album for a long time and up until November 2021 I was in a really good flow, working all the time, producing quality material and loving it. But then one day I woke up and I wasn't able to get any work done. It was as if all my creativity was gone. I got frustrated and after a couple days of trying without any success I decided to take a break. Its now been 3 months and I still haven't produced anything more. During these 3 months I have become quite addicted to a computer game and a lot of my time has gone towards that. My self esteem is the lowest it has ever been. I've always had great self esteem but now Im constantly questioning my work, my knowledge, my actions, everything. I'm having stressful dreams that make me wake up several times each night. I don't know what to do. I just wanna get back to making my music so I can finish my album which is 90% done. I do daily meditation, walking, reading (currently Six Pillars of Self-Esteem), all in an attempt to relax and lower stress but now that it's gone 3 months I'm getting frustrated at doing these relaxing things cause I feel it's time for my to get back at it but I'm not able to... Does anyone have any advice on how to handle the situation? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks

Thank you for your answer. I will try going back to some of my original inspiration! There are a lot of negative reviews on War of Art, why should I read it?

Would be amazing but I sadly do not have the money for it

I understand. Thank you for the help!

I mean my spirit is broken as in the saying, meaning my self-esteem is destroyed. Thanks for the tip, I will make a dream board.

I have aphantasia, meaning I can't visualize the slightest. I've had experiences with psychedelics where I'm able to visualize slightly but it tends to go away the second I realize I'm visualizing. There are so many good exercises and meditations that work around visualizing that I'm missing out on. Does anyone have any tips on what I can do? Should I just do the exercises/meditations to my best ability? If for example the meditation tells me to picture myself being in a forest I can still pretend that I'm in a forest, I just don't see anything. My mind will instead say "there are trees surrounding you, moss on the ground, everything is mostly green and brown, etc". Would this be enough? Any help is much appreciated. Thanks

What makes you think it has something to do with trauma?

@OBEler I can't do that. Would never masturbate without porn.

I have for the last two years been experimenting with LSD. Most of my experiences have given me many insights that have truly helped me a lot. Recently, last 5 months, the insights have lessened quite a bit and I am now getting these crazy ideas instead. In the moment it feels like the most amazing, mind blowing ideas ever and they literally leave me speechless, but as soon as I sober up and I think back on the ideas and they are all complete nonsense. Most commonly this happens if Im watching a movie/documentary. I will see scenes that literally aren't there when I watch it again the day after or I will completely misinterpret what is being said. I can for example get the idea that the movie is telling me some big secret to how the world operates. I have even had an experience where I was watching a new episode of a TV show and I was convinced that it was telling me that the world was actually ending right at that moment, which made me panic. Does anyone have any idea why this is happening all of the sudden? I have had quite a bit of self doubt recently when it comes to my work as a creative so maybe that uncertainty is making me confused? Any help is much appreciated.

Another interesting point that I've speculated has to do with this is that I'm a person with a very high level of openness. When doing the big five personality traits test I score 86% on openness. Since openness increases 20% on average when on psychedelics that means Im at 100% when tripping. Maybe this causes me to have no critical and logical thinking in the moment but makes it possible for me to see that it is nonsense once Im sober.

Luckily this doesn’t continue when I sober up. Although it does confuse me quite a bit. A common theme of these experiences is that I see symbolism/metaphors for male/female dynamics. I am hyper-aware of that dynamic. It’s as if when I’m tripping men and women become very stereotypical. For instance I can feel as if I’m being ignorant to just how much the world really is male dominated. My girlfriend has an interest for feminism so might be because of that. In the moment it’s as if I almost get a guilty conscious for being so ignorant but the day after that seems ridiculous and even my girlfriend tells that I have no reason to think so about myself cause I’m actually not at all ignorant when it comes to that topic. LSD has given me new found emotional intelligence so it might be that I’m starting to question topics that typically are very emotionally loaded and when tripping I’m not able to use any logical thinking.

I’m 22.

Got into it every since I took LSD with a friend who did it for the first time and we decided to watch some Rick and Morty towards the end of the trip. Noticed that watching movies/documentaries while tripping is amazing. But during these last trips I've watched something for 1-2 hours after the peak, so there's still a lot of just me being with my mind.