Jacquelope

Occam's Razor for the win.

What? No! Women should walk around in burkas. LOL I'm only kidding! Seriously. (Though I wonder how far some guys are from thinking that when they say 'slut dress'.) This is freaking America, land of the free. Slutty, not slutty, who cares. Dress how you want as long as you're not exposing naughty parts in public where kids can walk, far as I'm concerned. I don't get what some people's hangups are. On the other hand some feminists have invented the term "stare rape" to describe the assholes who leer at women. That's freaking extreme. You can't rape a woman with your eyes but you can be an asshole who needs to be told off for tracking her like she's a steak passing by. JMHO of course.

That depends on the dating site/app. I used Match to find my wife and there's a hell of a lot you can do to build a killer profile that goes well beyond looks. They even have profile coaches on there. I used one and I've reaped 20 years of benefit from that. Adultfriendfinder has landed a few male friends of mine some great casual encounters and two men married the women they found there. None of them were above average looks. You can load your profile there with content besides looks.... such as erotic stories. Women will answer. One guy wrote a graphic cunnilingus story on there (following my suggestion) and became what some men in my social group covertly call Son of Ticketmaster*. He showed us more than 20 responses and got himself in a little bit of hot water bedding two women at once but he was successful, he just kinda got carried away. Yeah, you can use AFF to find a wife or a casual partner. As usual don't have a slovenly photo and you can make it work. * Back in the 1990s there was this dude that had an overly religious gf who thought his fetish for giving her oral sex was sinful and creepy and she broke up with him, even outed him to the women she knew for special spite points. ("Beware, he's a creep!") Well all that did was have his Motorola flip phone exploding with calls. We called him "Ticketmaster" because as the joke went he had to put up a Ticketmaster booth for all the casual action being thrown his way. Some of my friends were there when this happened; we now call this new dude "Son of Ticketmaster", drives him nuts now that it got him in trouble for double-timing but oh well lol. Good times. Let it be known that you're into going down on her and it never gets old, you'll catch someone. Just.... don't try to two-time, that's like juggling live hand grenades!

This woman is a superhero. It's about time someone said this. Women do get away with pushing this manipulation game and none of these techniques are new, I've seen them my entire life. My one truly bad LTR was a bunch of this crap back during my teens in the mid-late 1980s, 40 years ago. I didn't run away from her at first and ugh. The stink of these tactics drove me away from many women I was pursuing. I thought I was just being chicken or entitled. But I didn't run into that kind of girl/woman ever again so frak them.

Being attached to nothing is impractical and just plain not feasible. It's all about rightsizing your list of attachments, and examining the reasons why you're attached.

My opinion is there is your problem right there, you walked up to her because she is beautiful. What else do you know that she had going for her? I think you should try pursuing or getting to know a woman w ho has a lot in common with you rather than someone who is beautiful. Maybe even search online, but STAY AWAY FROM TINDER. Tinder is the soul eater of dating apps. Think about what interests, values and personality type you want in a woman, as well as what interests you hope she shares with you. Then go to some place like Match or Eharmony which gravitates heavily toward long term relationships. I'd advise you disfavor hookups. Hookup culture greatly favors women, they have ungodly amounts of power over men when it comes to looking for casual sex. Partially because so many women are not in the market for casual encounters, more than men realize. You're facing less competition if you're looking for a LTR (not no competition, but less). The extreme amount of competition you had (and did not see) for that woman you approached was your biggest cause of failure.

Also see my thread about the dangers of basing a relationship off "the spark". People are addicted to this craze about love at first sight and it's actually more toxic than beneficial to a long term relationship, at least that's my opinion. And what is this obsession about "high-value"? Isn't that transactional in nature? I don't see how that's going to result in a holistic fulfilling LTR. It sounds more like a business contract to me?

Lucky indeed. She checked off all my important boxes but there's nothing to say we couldn't have become friends-only. Knowing what I know now and imagining us being friends only? Dreadful.

I married my soul mate but I can't guarantee my methods will help everyone. First I looked for a woman whose lifestyle was compatible to mine. I also selected for strong moral character and empathy. Our sense of humor also had to connect in some way - not be the same, but at least connect. We needed at least some overlap in interests, too. (I'm a geek and my wife knows more about comics than I do lol.) If you noticed looks were absent in this list... well... YMMV of course. About 20 years, 4 kids and still going.

I hate giving women the power to reject me and boosting her ego at my expense. Women need to be more proactive and share in the risk, simple as that. Ultimately though I didn't always have to be the one to "man up" and approach women. My wife approached me first and she wasn't the first to do that. These outdated gender roles can go roger themselves.

Nikola Tesla wants a word with you

It would have been a New York tragedy (like Sex in the City level) for her to have learned how much men care about looks and then run into me back in my single years. I was wary as holy fuck about hot babes. I had learned through years of observation and unfortunate personal experience that they have enormous power in the dating scene and play way too many games. My first relationship with a hot woman was in my teen years and it was dreadful, as in so bad it made up for all the hell that I avoided in future relationships. I watched them in social settings and other relationships and they truly are different than the average woman. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Likewise angels fear to tread where fools fall off of cliffs, and I strived to be like these angels. Let the fools rush ahead and spring the traps for me, like the glass floor contest in Squid Games. This lady in this video would have run into me and found a man who was more interested in her moral character and personality than her looks. And she would have been very confused. But I learned to adapt to this after being thrown in the emotional wood chipper by my first hot babe girlfriend and 'get a hot babe' (as in the obsession with them) elicits an allergic reaction with me. I'm sure I'm not the only man who is like this, in fact I've met quite a few who aren't.

It all makes sense to me. My hottest LTRs lasted the shortest, but my marriage came from a slow burning fuse. ~20 years and counting!

Bloody fabulously said.

I identified one of the fundamental common denominators for every relationship that lasted over a year (including my marriage which is ~20 years and going). For my wife and I our spark grew, it didn't flash combust upon meeting each other. Ditching the "happily ever after" in favor of working on our relationship is what kept us together for so many years. The relationships I had that started with the spark as this lady described it, lasted the shortest amount of time. That's my take, anyone else got an opinion? Thanks!