bloomer

Point is when can you really say you're not just a base animal?

@ZenRising It's seem though that to have a healthy sense of self respect that's required for self actualization means you need met your needs for love and belonging. @hyruga That's an interesting way to look at the pyramid that I haven't heard of before. @Leo Gura Well aren't you a base animal if you're incapable of doing anything transcendent without having those cravings met? @somegirl Well if you look at ascetics they literally starve themselves through fasting and deny themselves any sexual gratification. They're far more enlightened then me or some fat sex addict. @Shin What should be a priority? It just seems so petty that my wants are dominated by wanting to be seen as the cool guy or to get laid. @museumoftrees Yeah once you've toppled over and died from heat stroke and starvation lol. @Leo Gura So the only way I can become enlightened is by being a low t pussy? @Random witch Isn't asceticism all about overcoming your needs? @mandyjw I don't think that would be a good pick up line. But honestly, I think I would be happy with just the stepping stone. @Javfly33 meh

@Leo Gura Like her tits?

@Salvijus Thanks. @something_else My point exactly. I just want that middle ground.

@Salvijus Yeah women really love it when you admit you're a pussy deprived loser lol. I don't give a shit honestly. I am what am I. My humour though isn't going to get the ladies knocking. Especially when its about how I can't get them. tl;dr I'm a loser virgin reject and I hate myself @How to be wise First those weren't tears. I was only lubricating my face. Correct. Buying a hooker isn't a solution that I want. What's so hard to grasp about that? No I just want a girl who's actually into me lol. Though I wouldn't turn true love. I want to have sex with a woman who wants to have sex with me. Hopefully a relationship. Thought I was pretty clear.

@How to be wise For the same reason it's illegal to buy a hooker. Because sex is important and primitive. Not something to so simply be given away in exchange for money despite it being the worlds oldest profession.

@Danioover9000 Sorry to break the news, you might need to take a seat for this, but yes, I am in fact a bloomer virgin loser. @How to be wise I don't just want sex I want a girl to want to be with me and I want love. Not some hooker whose only with me for my money and will treat me like a turd lol. @Shin Thanks. I did go to a bar last night. Alone, very nervous. I just sat by myself. I talked with some workers for a bit after a few drinks. Some girls asked me to watch their table twice which I did. They left a drink there and some keys (which I don't get cause why can't they just fucking pocket them and finish the drink). Why am I already an errand boy for them? I didn't talk to them really though was too nervous. I had a few drinks, two cigarettes, gave some guy a cig and then went home. I finished Leo's third video today as well. I started the day I made this thread but got distracted by all the posts this thread received so paused and didn't come back to it. So here's my notes. "The dumber you act the easier it is to get laid." Whole point of all this attraction work is to find the right girl that you can actually grow with and self-actualise with. Attraction is counter intuitive. A lot of the ways women are attracted to men are wrong. Being nice and showering her with attention, affection etc… or bragging about yourself does the opposite of attract her but actually repel her. Women respond best to narcissism and douche bag behaviours. Women want a player who they can tame. The more of a player he is and the more options he has the less interested he is in being tamed. Women want to be the special girl for who she gave up all the other girls. If you set the boyfriend material she will be less likely to sleep with you, you set the player material she will be more likely to sleep with you. If you walk up to a random single girl and you're being attractive talking to her man to woman. You're going to reach hook point quick. Hook point means you can tell that she's interested in you as a sexual partner. Signs of hook point Allows you to touch her Has her attention focused on you The eye contact, enjoys when you make it also has difficulty maintaining it She ask questions about you She qualifies herself If she says you're amazing (they never compliment without hookpoint) She laughs at things you say that aren't even funny She follows you around Top principles of GAME 1. Go out 2. In field is king 3. Law of state transference 4. Men to woman communication 5. Don't hide that you find her sexy 6. Allow your true self to be rejected 7. Attraction is not a choice 8. Never logically sell yourself 9. Approach a girl within 3 seconds 10. Congruence 11. Build up state through rejection 12. Become comfortable in your body 13. Never chase a woman 14. Be willing to adapt and improvise (don't plan) 15. Have standards 16. Abundance mindset, don't be clingy 17. Women don't invest at all till sex (don't invest in a woman emotionally until she's invested in you) Remove any fear from your eyes. They will run away from you. That's the power of state transference. Attraction is not a choice, it's not logical. Arousal can't be negotiated. Women never fuck from logic. If a woman was in a logical mood her whole life she would never have sex. Number one thing you can do besides just going out more and approaching (well that's two things) the number three thing you can do is be as emotional as possible. Disable all their logic, scramble the logic. Turn it off. Women want to feel feminine. Whatever comes out your mouth needs to be congruent with how you feel. ACT LIKES SHES ALREADY YOUR GF What all this is developing a neural network for how to deal with and attract women. If you're in a low energy state don't lie and bullshit and be congruent. If you're shy admit you're shy, depressed admit you're depressed etc… Then you can build up your state from there. Be completely at ease, not tense or in your head. Relax your body. When you're out you should be as comfortable even in a bar or club as you are at home. WHEN YOU'RE OUT ONLY TRY TO HAVE FUN Trust your intuition when talking to people. Don’t script what you say. Be chill, friendly, have fun. It doesn't really matter what you say. Women aren't logically. Just say shit and don't really try to make sense. Connect with her emotions. Don't plan ahead, always be acting on hunches and be able to improvise. Most results will come at the end of the night, because that's when girls look for a guy. Hold out. The difference between a good night and bad night can be razor thin so never let yourself off the hook. Newbie Mistakes 1. Not going out 2. Victim mentality 3. Don't obsess over your looks 4. Not approaching 5. Oneitis 6. Too much theory (like this lol) 7. No half assed approaches 8. The lines you use don't matter 9. Running out of things today 10. Ejecting too early (force yourself to stay) 11. Being too needy 12. Being too nice 13. Don't ask interview questions 14. Don't be her formal boyfriend and courting (start the player frame, wait till she sleeps with you before bf shit) 15. Don't be vulgar 16. Don't brag and trying to look like a super cool dude (tell her you scrub toleits) 17. Physically escalate soon (so it's not creepy later) 18. When you make a move JUST DO IT (insert Shia LeBeouf meme) 19. Don't hide your raw attraction to her 20. Don’t me a dancing monkey, be chill and normal (don't be too much of a jester) 21. Be socially calibrated (talk with her friends) 22. Go for a close (don't just be there for phone numbers) 23. Don't ask women for advice 24. Don't buy women drinks (maybe buy a drink to avoid awkwardness) 25. Don't give up early Don't make excuses to not go out. None of the women are special or magically. Drop oneitis because that's not having an abundance mindset. Cocky funny.Same thing with a gf or wife. Same dynamics at play with attraction. To find out if it's true go out and test it.

@Federico del pueblo Good point. I'm not even going to bother trying to think about technique of theory. Will do. Simple but important point. Thanks.

@wma It's good meeting you mate @Kshantivadin Glad you like it chief

@mamad I'm in one with a girl I haven't in met in person. I like her, I like talking to her. But when you're not in person it's not really a relationship. I just want to meetup. You can't have an intimate romantic sexual relationship without being with one another in person. If you were in such deep love why would you split apart from one another? I worry the relationship I'm in will fail if we don't meet up soon. Which I have anxiety about. If you want the relationship to workout be together. She isn't going to save herself for you for years just so you can get your shit together.

@wma I have a discord server. It has 200 people in it. Doesn't take it's self to seriously. Here's my @bloomer#5163. Made a server that I wanted that's around self help and motivating people. But what I've found is a lot of people who use discord really don't care for self improvement. They just want the dopamine hit of getting into stupid conversations, e drama and all that other stupid bs. That's why I'm glad corners of the internet like this forum exist where there is some quality. I would love for there to be an Actualised.org server anyway and it's not a bad idea WMA. But I can see why moderators and Leo wouldn't want any attention being diverted from this forum and that's fair. Also yes I spelled server wrong in the video, sue me.

@stefm5 A religious cult? That sounds interesting. Sorry to hear about your shit twenties anyway. I don't want to end up like that. Well I have been talking with a few girls online. Hasn't helped to much really. Thanks for the advice. I hope what you're saying is true.

@Cykaaaa Obligatory loser meme below. Hey I've heard far far worse and said far worse to myself lol. You can't be mean. But I will go out and try anyway. At least then if and when I fail I'll be able to say I try when I post my untrue loser memes. Thanks man.

@Emotionalmosquito Look I’m probably not the best person to give advice lol. But this threads been here for 12 hours with no replies so I may as well give a stab at it and if you don’t like my advice don’t do it. Now I may be retarded. But if I’m invited to a girls place, with just her, in the evening/night, to watch a movie. Even I couldn’t fuck it up. You’ve already won. Just she have to say to your face, yes I will fuck you lol. That could have been a dodge on her part but your flirting was very direct. Then even with you saying “I knew you’d deny me “ which is just sad and probably seen as pathetic she still says plain as day that she’d sleep with you. I really don’t know how you can screw this up. She already knows you, she’s already comfortable with you and she’s said that she’d sleep with you. I don’t know what more she could do to make this easier for you lol. When you go just stay calm, and with escalation just keeping going unless she says no. You should be fine.

@How to be wise @Shin Just sex isn’t what I’m after. I know I can buy an escort but I have no interest in that really. Though being this old and not having had sex is depressing. But I won’t do that. Shin I’m curious how it fucked you up worse?

@Nahm Thanks. I appreciate it. But I don't about complimenting a woman like that. It seems like women get compliments all the time. See pic related at bottom. @JonasVE12 I'll try to talk with some strangers and do those practices. @Emotionalmosquito Same thing with compliments lol. Some compliment from a virgin reject no matter how sincere isn't really going to be appreciated. @Federico del pueblo Fair enough.

@Federico del pueblo Okay fair enough. It’s true and you’re right. Good enough is an abstract concept. Doesn’t change the fact that I still like girls and want to get laid.

@Preety_India I think I would be good enough the moment I have some experiences under my belt, can function like a normal human being and when I find a loving relationship with a woman. I appreciate your advice and you are right. I've become addicted to negative self talk something that Nahm says as well. But I find it very difficult to be positive about my situation when I'm not at all happy with it. I've got here through complacency and I fear being happy where I am now will just breed more complacency and things will get worse and worse. You have a good day too anyway. @Emotionalmosquito Damn do I relate to that. And that weird vibe causes some brawls. @Nahm Yeah I understand that I don't say nice things about myself but it's the same thing that I was saying to Preety India really. I'm not going to do that exercise because it will just end up depressing me and I'm lazy. But I see your point.

@How to be wise How would I even go about getting a hooker? I'm not going to pick up some girl on the side of the road and I know nothing about escorting. I don't man. @Knowledge Hoarder The title is there to grab attention and it's an inside to joke about myself to myself. But obviously I'm not very attractive otherwise I wouldn't have made it to this point. @Emotionalmosquito Awesome lol. Well this makes my plan to sit on the side sipping a drink now seem so stupid. Yeah I know most people are incapable of human decency and girls sure as fuck aren't going to help you out lol. Mace isn't legal. As for getting into some altercation with someone. I'm fine with getting beat up a little. Just nothing that involves the hospital and nothing that involves the police. That's my only worry. I might try that out a bit. But it's really not that bad for me. I think that's level 1 stuff. I'm at least on level 3. @Federico del pueblo Well first I'm going to need some girl to be attracted to me. If getting a girl to be attracted to me requires girls to already be attracted to me then I am in a catch 22 situation. Ah hopefully it works out that way. We will see. @Preety_India I want romantic and sexual relationships with the opposite sex and I don't have them. What's that if not losing? Well me as I am isn't good enough clearly. Otherwise I wouldn't have this problem.

@Thunder Kiss As for befriending people at work. They're all older than me so its weird and tough to do. I know one guy I work with is a major pothead so I could maybe go out and have a smoke with him sometime? I honestly don't even know because when it's about work it always seems like you have to act in a professional way. I do take care of myself. I'm not some unwashed greasy triple chinned basement dweller. I run, lift, dress well in nice enough clothes. I might do the perfume idea I don't know. Maybe I could do the guitar thing. I don't want to grow long hippie hair or skateboard. I don't know how that will get me a gf though. @How to be wise I won't lie. I've thought about it and have the money. But I think it would be taking the pussy way out and also she wouldn't actually be into me. I think it would make me feel a lot of shame. Also I like my brains being unfucked. @mandyjw Well right now I can't settle for anything lol. It's pretty fucking far from perfect. It doesn't matter what I believe if I still don't get the thing I want. I can believe I'm a multi millionaire and women love and adore me. That I'm a super cool guy with a super cool life. Doesn't make one bit of difference when reality comes knocking.

@mandyjw Look when you say women don't care about looks but then go on to in the next sentence to contradict yourself. That makes me skeptically that women don't care about appearance. ESPECIALLY on something like Tinder. I think women care more about looks than men do honestly. But no doubt do films and fashion companies affect the way we see the world and judge other people. Sure when I take some pictures I might send some your way to see if they would be good on a dating profile. I would need some advice and criticism on that and it'll be helpful coming from a woman. I'll look into it. I doubt I'll find many 21 year olds on them. Yeah I think the same thing, that tinder is similar to the bar/club scene. Also a relationship isn't really real unless you meet in person I think. As for discord and finding girls that I can actually relate with on a deeper level. I have found one that I do get really along with and I think of myself as a romantic sort of person. Since I haven't had any relationships before I take this long distance relationship seriously and act all lovey dovey. Hence the songs. Which I actually think is a bad thing lol. I never thought I would get to this point where I'm now messaging a girl (not going to say in love) who's in another country because I'm too much of a socially maladjusted idiot to meet any girl locally in person. It's a bad coping mechanism and I fear that if I was to meet this girl in person I would fuck things up. It's a lot easier to be cooler and come across as a normal person when you get to type your messages or think about your voice recordings. But thanks a lot for the kind words.

@mandyjw Because I think I'm ugly and the only thing that matters online is the way you look. That and I have no photos of myself. I think all the pictures would be of me alone in my room lol and for any thinking girl that's a redflag. Damn thank you very much. Where am I supposed to find these girls? Also how far are we talking? Tinder isn't the place for deep conversation. I have tried talking some girls I've met online on discord and snapchat. Recently even I started sending songs I learnt on guitar for her and other stuff like pictures of myself which got me out of my comfort zone. I know it's pathetic that I'm not even comfortable sending messages to a woman in another country lol. But the likelihood of finding a girl who want a relationship and those kind of conversations near me is very slim. Well I'll try to communicate and express myself in person. That trying paired with alcohol I might be able too. I know Leo said don't drink but I can't envisage myself going out talking to girls without it. I will start going after what I want. @Federico del pueblo Yeah but at least I'm more comfortable with the drink in hand. I'll write down some stuff as a general idea and try to improvise in the situation. I'll be happy with anything human and female at this point lol. I'm joking a bit. I still have standards even though I'm in no position to. Feels like I'm lying to myself when I say those things. But I am cutting out negative self chatter. Otherwise I wouldn't even be bothering to watch these videos and try this stuff. How can you bullshit yourself when you know it's bullshit? Isn't the trick to forget that you even bullshitted yourself to begin with? Thanks @Thunder Kiss I understand that. But it's when it comes to attraction. I've befriended girls who are work colleagues and classmates before. It's just going from there into flirting and similar that is where I crash and burn. I know but I don't want to fuck guys. Joking but yes I want mates but that's also easier said than done and I know of no one who made a mate approaching at a bar lol. I've done this actually. Well now I have a new barber and I like his cuts so I'm sticking with him. But I am capable of having conversations with women as long as they're not my age and if I don't find them remotely attractive. The moment I desire her and see potential I fuck it up always. It's really a situation of the hungry don't get fed lol.

@Leo Gura I will. I also have a works do coming up soon that has me anxious. So I do want to go to bars and out at night just for preparation so I'm not a nervous wreck on that night. There is a girl I am interested in work but I'm not going to approach her or fuck it up.

@Leo Gura This weekend I'll go about myself to a bar and I will try to talk to someone. You're right though, I don't want to force conversation with strangers. Especially with girls who are probably going to reject and embarrass me. Maybe even spread rumors about me and get me seen as the creep weirdo who has no friends and has to resort to awkwardly hitting on them.

So it took Leo 450 approaches to get his first lay. I'm supposed to go out and approach 100s of girls just to find one that might find me attractive enough to sleep with me and I have to approach 1000s in the year to find maybe 3-10 girls who would actually be down to fuck me. How am I supposed to do that without developing a reputation for being a creepy weirdo? Also how am I supposed to be confident? Confidence I heard somewhere is the memory of winning. If you've only lost how am I supposed to be confident? How are you supposed to remain to motivated when you're facing all those rejections? Also is it possible that I would get bullied and fucked with if I go to bars and clubs by myself? I always feel like a fish out of water in social environments and I think others pick up on that as well. Smelling the fear on me like a shark smells blood. I don't want to get into any fights with people. Before I get the "man up and stop being a pussy" shit. All you're doing is some machismo posturing and I don't give a fuck about that. It's a reasonable question to ask because going to club and bars by yourself to talk to strangers is weird social behaviors that most normal people don't have to resort to. Forgive my hesitancy.