ZenRising

prayer.... no wait... bear with me.... Jung said that prayer is a way to enter into bilateral dialogue with your own subconscious - that's a take that I pretty much agree with... some years ago I was having real trouble getting up early in the morning, so I started saying a prayer when I went to bed, asking 'God' to wake me up with energy at whatever time I needed to get up.... and I can tell you, it worked a charm... I guess I sent a message to my own subconscious saying 'get this body awake, alert and ready to go at exactly 5.30am', and it would work every time....

Well, I am a bit older than you (I'm pretty sure), and you can rest assured there will be no eye rolls from me... ... I do remember the world before the internet... hell, I even remember having to dial phones with the weird rotary/circular ding-ding thing when I was a young child... ye olde internet has become a fundamental and central factor in most of our lives by now though.... ... back before the intenet, ADHD wasn't a thing either.... hmmmm.... I'm pretty sure I had ADD as a child, but as it hadn't been recognised as a 'thing' it was generally referred to as 'being a little bollox' and dealt with accordingly... thankfully diagnostics and treatment seem to have improved a bit since then...

chemistry, in my experience, tends to defy all the ticks I may or may not put in my checklist of 'ideal' criteria for a partner... the ones who I have really had an amazing time with, and had a deep connection with, have often not really fit any of the traits I might have included in an 'ideal partner' description.... and chemistry has been what drives the passion, and the fun...

well, I got past the first hurdle in what will be a long and challenging, but equally rewarding, journey. Today I 'cold approached' a woman in a cafe. It was the first time I've approached a women in 7 years! It wasn't a disaster, thanfully, but no big shakes either... a bit of chit chat and then I said a polite 'nice to meet you' and went on my way... It's deeply satisfying to have taken that first tiny step though

Thanks. for sharing your story PurpleTree... I identify with a lot of it... there was a lot of drug use (and selling) in my journey, and I faced police charges as well... I got clean and sober some years ago, and that has made a huge difference... it took a long time to work thought all the shit from my childhood (a lot of abuse and instability), and I still have my difficulties, but time and work... and a developing a healthy support network... made all the difference... today I'm trying to get back out there in dating after several years of not doing so (long term relationship)... it's tough getting started again! Looking forward to hearing how your journey develops.. Good luck!Lucas

A career in academia, and in particular teaching undergraduates, is basically a non-stop bootcamp training in formulating complex ideas and philosophical structures into easily digestible chunks... hmmm... I'm also curious about this heavy metal detox... how did you do it @Leo Gura?

I recently read 'Young Stalin'... it's a fascinating insight into the formation and making of a despot... one of best books I've read in some years now... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/826564.Young_Stalin

... never a truer word said...

#this .... pickup is wilfully reductive in how it portrays sexual relations and dynamics... those oversimplifications can serve an instrumental value for a lot of men who are blocked in their dating life, and in my experience most of the guys into pickup were not predatory or misogynistic; they were good guys trying to get past their blockages in dating... but the fact that a set of ideas can serve a purpose does not make them true; often the most powerful and transformative ideas don't even remotely resemble truth..

I've set myself the simple target to start approaching women again... it's been a long time and I am way out of practice...A few years back I was totally brazen, but a few years in the 'safety' of a relationship and that brazenness has ebbed away.. I know I need to act in order to recover it and regain my internal power... hmmmm.... just start!

I'm getting a lot from this journal... keep it coming! I'm trying to get back out there after the end of an LT relationship, and it's hard getting out of the starting blocks... I'm soooo rusty and my game is non-existent... I know it will come back though...

Hi there @ivankiss .... I'm curious, when approaching girls in Italy did yo jsut speak to them in English? Or do you speak Italian? (I'm in Paris at the moment, and working with my crappy French!)... thanks

In my own journey, I've found there is a direct relationship between how much I love myself and how needy I am for the love of others.... I don't think there's a silver bullet - it takes time and work and more time and more work, but real transformation is indeed possible... before I could really start to grow and change, I had to face up to and own the fact that, on a deep level, I hated myself... it sounds severe, I know, but I had to face the truth before I could move forward... I wish you (self) love and healing my friend...

So this guy's approach to conquering social fears/approval dependency really speaks to me. The social stunts he pulls are a bit silly and childish, I guess... they certainly steer away from anything that would bring real hard judgment as opposed to bemused uncertainty, but the basic principle is good. Put yourself in situations that are socially scary for you, embrace the experience of rejection in order to kill your fear of it... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vZXgApsPCQ

For love and God... and, perhaps most importantly... to see what happens! I've been alive long enough to know that fundamental transformations do happen... and I want more!

haha... in fairness, Austria did give us Mozart and Freud as well... and let's not forget Arnie Schwarzenegger....

.... they hide all the valuables before they snatch us up... they know what we're like...

Well done my friend! I'm just starting to get back out there after a long absence (long-term) relationships... first approaches are hard... but getting them done and conquering the fear is the thing... As Samuel Bekett famously said 'Try again. Fail again. Fail better.'

Hi there @flowboy .... so much great stuff in this hjournal... thanks for your openness and insights... it's great to be able to see the journey unfold since you started this...

Hi there @Arcangelo .... this thread is giving me a lot of inspiration ... like you, I'm not interested in loud nighclubs anymore... I'm just trying to get back out there and approaching after a long absence... (long-term relationship which ended a while back)... my game and self-confidence are shot, and I need to build them back... reading your journal has been great... I hope you keep it coming...

Echo that... as a European who has lived in the US for some years, the gun culture in the US is just bananas... there are, of course, historical roots to it all, but the basic principle of the state's monopoly on justifiable use of violence is something most countries recognise as a basic principle of democracy...