Daniel123

150 µg 1D-LSD This is my second trip with 1-D LSD. I took the tab at 9am and went for a walk outside until it took effect. After about 20 minutes the first visual changes began. On my first trip the peak was reached after about 60 minutes, but that didn't happen here. The peak was reached around 11 a.m. and lasted until 2 p.m. During the climb I became impatient as the peak was later than the first time. I even thought about re-dosing, but luckily decided against it. I was sitting on my meditation cushion, meditating as I came up, when suddenly I started shaking. There was an energy within me that needed to get out and it found its way out when I started crying convulsively. Like last time, it wasn't crying out of sadness or pain, but this time it felt like it was for the purpose of getting rid of that excess energy. After the crying stopped, I cowered in the corner. I had both hands on my heart and hugged myself as tightly as I could. I felt so vulnerable, like I had to protect something I've held in my heart for a long time. I sat on my pillow with my eyes open and looked into my bedroom. The whole room looked like it was contracting and expanding. I sat there and had a hard time identifying myself. The self who owned the room had faded into the background and the connection to the life story was almost severed. I was simply here as an observer, but without a story. Then I lay down on my bed and put on a sleep mask to keep out as much light as possible. Despite my best efforts to create a dark environment, a blinding brightness appeared to me, bathing my field of vision in white light. The light changed into a scene of green fields and a children's playground and as the scene appeared, I became the scene. I was the green meadows and then I was the children's toy. I laughed out loud at this absurdity and identified with my body again. Then my identification changed again and I was now a triangle. A triangle! How is that possible? I laughed as if I were a mental patient at this bizarre situation. I realized that identifying with self is an important part of survival and that one is constantly and continually creating and maintaining new identifications. Seeing this mechanism happen so quickly, away from survival motives, was fantastic. All insights were constantly interrupted by loud laughter because everything felt like a cosmic joke. Any forming of shapes and thoughts was just to entertain me. I kept hearing myself saying “Oh wow, oh wow.” I had a glimpse of what infinity means. I had often imagined it before and knew that the mind could not grasp it. I also imagined what this knowledge must be like apart from the mind. It wasn't like that. You cannot put infinity into words, you can only experience it directly. All the words felt like they didn't have nearly the capacity to convey something so meaningful. Suddenly I was completely flooded with love. I could feel every sensation, every emerging sensory perception, being woven from love as they appeared to me. I felt my heart couldn't handle this much love and overflowed with it. There was just too much love to contain, it had to flow outward beyond the boundaries of my body. I turned back and forth on my bed and reached into my sheets. I felt myself becoming one with my bed. I was a mutant, half human, half bed, completely intertwined with it with no discernible dividing line. This all happened in about 60 minutes, but it felt like it took hours. After the peak was over, I had a strong urge to go outside. I was now flooded with a deep sadness. Everything felt empty. My car, my job, everything I had worked for seemed absolutely meaningless after this experience. I almost felt sick because I was wasting my time on unimportant things that were so devoid of essence. I was a person without meaning, without direction, without function. So I sat on the side of the road in the sun and watched people drive in and out of town in their cars. I was a silent observer with no identity. Little by little, my old self came back and it was exciting to watch it slowly rebuild itself. The sadness gradually gave way to an inner silence that still lasted several hours afterwards.

I feel this needs to be underscored, as it is such a valuable insight to have. It absolutely does not matter, what you are addicted to, be it drugs, sex, gambling, or subtler things like affection or pleasing people. You are not really addicted to those things, but to the sensations and emotions they evoke. It is often a combination of craving pleasant sensations as you anticipate the relaxation after smoking the cigarette combined with an aversion to the jitteriness and anxiety you feel when you haven't smoked in a while. A very conscious approach to tackling this issue would be to just sit there very attentively and let every emotion come up and look at it without resisting, knowing it will pass away as any sensation always does. And eventually it will become weaker and weaker. Problem is, it's often not that easy, as you are in the habit of generating resistance to it and with resistance comes suffering along the way. Also the mental pattern will change and suggest it is the best course of action for you to have a smoke. So as a more practical approach, aside from trying nicotine gum and patches and slowly weaning yourself off, you could try this: Look at the emotion as described above and whenever a point comes where you just cannot take it anymore, be kind to yourself and allow yourself a cigarette. BUT as you do it, don't beat yourself up for it. Don't distract yourself as you unwrap the cig and light it. Smell it with all your attention. See how it tastes and feels when you inhale each puff. Make it conscious, don't distract yourself, don't resist it, don't beat yourself up for "failing". You will most likely find that after a while, your body will reject the cigarette naturally and the desire will fade away. Good luck!

Yes, this is the one I hope for the most

It may be foundational, but it is so easy to overlook. Thank you for posting this. I am on a no porn and no videotainment (Youtube, Netflix...) challenge since about a month now and already my mental patterns are changing to a much less agitated mode of being. There is a reason why many spiritual traditions value renunciation so highly. Although in the past I struggled when I went too hard on myself and restricted too much. The ego-backlash was always very strong, so I think going slow and finding a good balance is key.

Registered because of your post after lurking for some time. Hello everyone!

I like Vipassana retreats, because they are free to attend, you get food cooked for you and you can focus fully on meditation. Also, centers are all over the world, so mostly easy to reach. If you resonate with the technique, the strict timetable and the long sitting, I find it is also a good 'reset' if you were out of spiritual practises for a while. Here is the Website if you need more info

First some context: I am 31 years old and have been interested in meditation, self-observation and self-development since I was 20 years old. Today, I experimented with psychedelics for the first time, marking the beginning of a wonderful journey. I had wanted to try psychedelics for some time but was always a bit deterred, mainly due to legal concerns/sourcing issues. Recently, I found out that some LSD variants are legal where I live, so I decided to try 1D-LSD. I'm a fairly cautious person, especially when trying chemicals, so I thought 70 ug would be a good starting point, especially since I'll be doing this alone. I decided to trip on a Saturday, had no plans for the rest of the weekend, and had taken care of my responsibilities for the week. After waking up and showering, I took the tablets and went for a walk outside until the effects kicked in. It took about 20 minutes for me to start feeling the initial effects and 60 minutes to reach the peak. During the comeup, I felt some nausea and a little headache, but I was prepared for that. Upon returning home, I noticed visual changes; patterns in the carpet were moving and flowing into each other. It felt familiar to me; I had similar experiences in the past when I used to meditate more regularly and frequently than I do now. I sat on my meditation cushion and was amazed at how quickly and effortlessly I reached beyond my thoughts to the sense of "I", which sometimes is difficult for me. I could literally watch the sense of myself oscillate between small and human to impersonal and expanded. This, too, felt familiar, as I have been practicing self-inquiry for some time. After meditation, I had breakfast, and while eating, I burst into laughter without any apparent reason or funny thoughts. It just felt right to laugh, and it had to come out. Then I walked through my room, letting my gaze wander over the walls. I noticed details I had never seen before. In one part of the room, I have a picture of my brother who passed away a year and a half ago. I believe I have processed his death well. However, I sat in front of the picture and burst into tears. I cried for several minutes, convulsively, as if I hadn't cried in years. But I wasn't sad; over time, I cried out of gratitude. I was so grateful for the people who accompanied my brother and my family. After that, I felt lighter than I had in a long time. Slowly, I realized that the drug was wearing off, and I decided to take another walk in nature. The colors were still more vibrant than usual, but barely noticeable. I felt a great inner peace and thought to myself: It is possible to live like this every day. So connected to life. And yet, sometimes I am too lazy to do the groundwork for it. All in all, it was a very mild trip but it showed me the potential psychedelics have. I am looking forward to experimenting with higher doses in the future. Edit on the day after: I had trouble falling asleep, so I felt a bit groggy the day after. I don't know if it was just because of the lack of proper sleep or maybe some lingering effects of the drug. In my meditation session today, I was able to go more easily into my self-inquiry than usual, although not as easily as yesterday. Will be very interesting how long some of the effects will linger.