Daniel123

Thank you. For me, there were no visual effects at all, as far as I remember. I am not quite sure what this means. I think about the experience all the time now and sometimes I feel like I relive parts of it, although with much less of an intensity. Sometimes I also feel like I smell and taste the bufo smoke during the day.

Thank you! That is an interesting question. Right after the ceremony, I had the feeling that it would take me a long time to want to do again. The experience was just so grand and intense that I felt I need a lot of time processing everything. Even though, I had no ill effects like dizziness or a general hangover or anything like that. Now that a few days have passed, I feel like I could do it again soon, but I also feel I want to integrate some things first and I have no NEED to do it again soon. Interestingly, I get more scared thinking about doing it again than I was the first time. Maybe now the ego knows that it will die in the process and it gets terrified of the thought? I am also a bit scared that the next time could be more challenging. The other participants reported more of a struggle during their trip.

I think that is a good way to put it. You are resonating not with, but as being. And as soon as the mind is coming in to try and grasp it, even the tiniest bit of separation created by the mind will separate it by infinity, because it is in a whole other realm of experiencing. @Breakingthewall Beautifully put. Remembering requires time and direct experience is eternal, that is, outside of time.

The mind's way of knowing is mostly using abstractions, concepts, words, pictures, logic and such. Direct consciousness is doing away with these intermediaries by becoming it instead of knowing it as a separate object. It is hard to put into words, because words are still in the mind's territory.

That is a good point, it's very easy to get complacent and settle as if they are the best life has to offer instead of using them as a stepping stone and safety net.

This is very true. It's a good way to get a foundation of material and social needs plus some general stability in your life. You can have a creatively fulfilling job as an employee as well. Not every employee has to be a mindless wage-slave-worker. And I think not everyone has to be an entepreneur just for the sake of it. If that is someone's calling though, all power to him! You don't have to overcome every facilitation provided by society I think. You can also make use of some to expedite your growth in other areas.

That is an interesting perspective, I like it. What do you do now after dropping out of college?

I wanted to share with you my experience of the past few days. I hope to answer some questions for anyone who is thinking about going on a dark retreat themselves. The retreat took place in a monastery over 4 nights. I was very nervous before the retreat, as I had neglected my meditation practice a bit lately. What would await me in the darkness? Would all my demons, which I had more or less successfully suppressed so far, come to the surface and torment me? These questions occupied my mind on the way to the monastery. Upon arrival, I was warmly welcomed and led to my room, which would define my life for the next few days. I could set myself up in the light and arrange my clothes and belongings so that I could find them later. The room consisted of a small anteroom with a table where the food was served, which also functioned as an airlock to the main room and bathroom. Meals were served twice daily, morning and evening, but not at precisely fixed times, to slightly unsettle my sense of time. In the evening, I had my introductory talk with my guide. She asked me questions about my previous experience with inner work, and I had the opportunity to voice my questions. After the conversation, we went to the room together; she darkened the window and lit a candle, which she placed on the floor between us. After a moment of pause, the time came when she left the room along with the candle. From that point on, it was dark, very dark. Orientation now relied solely on my memory and mostly my sense of touch. Showering, eating, brushing teeth in complete darkness was new to me, but I was surprised at how quickly I got used to it and felt as if I had never done anything else. When the food was served, there was a knock on the outer door. I then closed my inner door and confirmed this with a knock. Only then was the tray brought into the room. This ensured that I did not come into contact with light. Once a day, my guide would come to my room to discuss the day's experiences with me. She was very empathetic yet sharp and trained, giving me no opportunity to get lost in philosophical concepts, instead always bringing me back to my current experience whenever I drifted off. As the darkness enveloped me, my mind quickly became quiet. I did not find the darkness threatening, but rather a warm-hearted companion. Interesting phenomena occurred. I often saw flashes of light that illuminated my visual field or formed into colorful patterns. My mind constantly tried to imagine my surroundings, and I felt that I could see the room despite complete pitch-black darkness. I had a lucid dream, entirely without my intervention, in which I was aware that I was dreaming and could control my dream. Once, I woke up from sleep and felt as if I was outside of my body. I saw interesting visual scenes, but I was completely clear and awake. My sense of time was drastically reduced. The only point of reference I had was how long ago breakfast or dinner might have been. This allowed me to descend into a timeless space. On the last day, I became very emotional and realized how much I run away from the darkness of my soul in everyday life instead of facing it. Gradually, I merged with the darkness that surrounded me, and my sense of self was drastically reduced. During the daily conversations, my guide spoke to me, but I responded to the darkness. When the day came to let light back into the room, I felt very wistful. The darkness had become very familiar, and I felt as though I was losing a beloved friend. The transition was disorienting; I was dizzy, and I was glad to have another day in the light at the monastery for integration. Overall, it was a wonderful experience with lots to integrate into daily life, and it certainly won't be my last dark retreat.

@Salvijus I was in an advaitan monastery in northern Germany. It's called 'Gut Saunstorf'.

Sounds fun, please share if you go through with it!

Recently, I have been very stressed due to work and personal projects, feeling very averse to working and still riled up after a weekend of mostly relaxing. I remembered Andrew Huberman talking about Yoga Nidra for relaxation, but I haven't done it in a long time. I did a short 10min Yoga Nidra session and it's crazy how fast and effectively it brought my stress levels down and energy levels up, like it targets the whole nervous system and creates deep relaxation. If you are stressed out or fatigued, give it a try.

@OBEler I actually never experienced any discomfort or loss of consciousness during shambavi mahamudra. It was another technique that involved deep in- and outbreaths that was not part of the Inner Engineering program. But it was mostly my fault for sitting on the bed instead of the floor with my back not supported.

Same thing happened to me, also doing a Sadhguru breathing practice sitting on my bed. Next thing I know I wake up on my floor with my neck hurting as I had gone unconscious and fallen backwards onto it. Stay safe.

That is a good example, it's interesting how the same activity can lead to pleasure or well-being depending on your motivations and overall approach. I think it's good to go through such transitions from well-being to pleasure and back, it makes the differences more clear.

Well-being often requires discipline, effort, planning, time - pleasure is more easily accessible. You can more easily partake in pleasurable activities with others, like playing games. Actions leading to well-being are an acquired taste and often require solitude, so it can not as easily be shared or communicated. Pleasure is mentally exhausting, well-being is mentally vitalizing.

I am working a full-time job at the moment, but am developing a skill mostly unrelated to my current job, as I am planning to maybe switch careers in the future. The development of the skill takes up a lot of time and effort and I mostly use weekends and after-work free time to work on it. Now I am noticing that my spiritual development and practice has taken quite a backseat, as there is less time to dedicate to it. I am having a hard time balancing these aspects of my life out, because I feel I lose the momentum when I dedicate less mental and time resources to it. So I am wondering, what is your approach to find the right balance for a well-rounded development?

I feel the exhausted for a few days after taking LSD, probably from the mind being so active and creative for hours. And I get acid reflux during the trip. But other than that, it feels much better for the body thanfother drugs.

I feel your pain and have been in the same position before (as many others surely have as well). The constant thoughts about your former partner haunting you, diminishing your appetite and sleep. In the end, regular contact will only lengthen the duration of your suffering, creating a false hope for a reunion while at the same time closing yourself off from future more loving relationships. It really puts you in a spot where you can't win. At least that is my experience. So give yourself time to grief, but as far as regular contact goes,

I recently stumbled upon a seemingly legal DMT-derivative called NB-DMT and I am curious, does anyone have some experience with this compound?

I think there is much to learn during prolonged silence and meditation does not have to be contrary to curiosity. For me it's about being maximally curious about exploring, actually. Just not about exploring thoughts and concepts, but rather dimensions and aspects of consciousness itself. But - at least for me - a simple 20-30min meditation is usually not enough to get to a state that is conducive to deep exploration. That's why longer sessions and retreats are helpful in that regard. But I think, both exploring thoughts / concepts and silence have their place and value.

A formal meditation practice makes me much calmer and more receptive to the wonders and magic of life. I notice almost immediately when I let my daily meditation habit slip, my ego comes to the foreground and I become entangled in drama and thoughts more easily, distracting from the beauty that surrounds me. It gets a lot harder to be conscious and present when interacting with the world. I find there are times in my life when I am drawn deeply into silence and long formal meditations and then other times when I am more drawn into expressing my cultivated love outwardly in different domains.

The man who can talk backwards https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNfzGuOSPTE

Usually we are so focused on perceptions in front of us that when we deliberately focus our awareness towards the back, it feels empty. I often do this during the day, it's an easy and quick way to get in touch with awareness and shift out of the small sense of self.

Yes, Leo's videos really are one of a kind, I'm glad I discovered them a few years back

I always thought of formed objects like accumulations of memory. Shape, size, past experiences... This would make the human body and mind a kind of storage / memory device for the Mind of God and get wiped clean when they perish. On a past LSD trip I wondered, what if You experience something, but you are not there to record it, would this be possible? What causes something to be saved into memory?