Daniel123

Sometimes the world looks fluid to me like on a small dose of LSD whenever I am really present. Everything seems less "solid" than it once did and more flow-like.

So I just recently came back from a 6-day men's retreat. I am not talking about the kind of Andrew Tate pickup be a manly man stuff, but a very loving, open space for men to share their experiences, scars and emotionally open up to each other about their challenges and struggles. I wanted to write a short review, because I don't see a lot of talk about this kind of thing and at least for me it gave a whole new understanding and sense of community, emotional openness, connection and vulnerability. I hope this will benefit someone. Structure of the retreat The retreat took place on Ibiza in a wonderful serene place on the island. There were 8 participants and another 6 staff members doing various jobs, so a very intimate, small group. The schedule included meditations, breathwork (holotropic and other), giving and receiving physical therapy to each other, a workshop on ancestral healing and three psychedelic ceremonies - 2x magic mushrooms (1,5g and 3g) and a hike with san pedro. Before the retreat In my spiritual journey, I feel like I overemphasized the feminine aspect a bit too much. Allowing and cultivating this feminine energy was very beneficial for me, but I felt like I lacked the more masculine energy and wanted to balance it out a bit. I didn't really know what to expect from this kind of retreat, but it just felt right to go. I also often feel quite isolated and like I don't fit in quite easily with groups - especially men's groups, so this was another challenge to myself to overcome this apprehension in this kind of setting. Inside the retreat In the beginning of the retreat, it was strangers aged 28 to 67 coming together in an interesting setting from widely different backgrounds. There was an atmosphere of carefully getting to know each other, but staying at a safe distance to each other physically and emotionally. After the first few rounds of personal sharing circles though, it became apparent, how similar the wound is that men share, expressing itself in various ways. Common themes were the feelings of being isolated, not being enough and not being able to live up to the expectations of those around them. There was also kind of a collective wound created by women, be it not being loved enough by the mother, being emotionally abused by a partner, the death of a long-term wife etc. I feel like this is part of being a man and almost nobody is openly admitting to feeling this way. Being able to share this so freely was such a relief in and of itself. But importantly, it was not about casting blame on women in any way, but recognizing the wound while also taking responsibility for healing. Over time, slowly the walls broke down more and more and everyone started sharing their innermost feelings, their pain, their traumas. It was okay to give a hug, to touch, to cry, to console, to talk and to deeply listen. This really transformed my view of what healthy masculinity looks like and what it is like to be part of a tribe, part of a brotherhood that formed such a strong bond over just six days. It is really astounding the connection you can build in such a short time if you dare to share and be vulnerable with others. The fact that no women were part of the group allowed everyone to freely talk about sensitive topics without any instinctual need for competition or fear of being judged by the other sex, so this was a really safe container. I feel like women naturally have this kind of space, and it is socially accepted, while for men it is very uncommon to have someone to share these things with openly. Sharing both mushroom ceremonies with the group was an intimate experience. Especially on the higher dose I felt the connection with the others so deeply and I did a lot of emotional purging while my own struggles came to the surface. The san pedro hike was very special for me as well. The cactus has such a subtle, masculine energy, it fit the occasion so well. Every step on the hike felt like a metaphor for growing up and finding my place in this world as a man. I really like this substance / plant. After the retreat I left the event with such renewed hope, connection and sense of belonging like I never felt before in my life. It also gave me a sense of direction for my life and what is really important to me. Sharing something that has been hidden deep inside of me with other men left me feeling lighter and like a burden has been lifted off my chest. I feel like I can become a better boyfriend / brother / man in the future and I will cherish this experience for a long time. I don't want to make this too long, so I will keep it at that. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and I really recommend it!

I feel this very strongly. I remember a spiritual teacher saying before giving his first teaching to a group of people: Take a moment to think about if you really want to go down this path for enlightenment. Because it will involve suffering and once you reach a certain point, you will have seen some things that won't let you turn back ever again.

I was very inexperienced at that time though, so don't let this deter you No ,not so far. They require sitting a few 10-day courses and some more prerequisites before going for a longer course. You can read about it here at the bottom of the page: https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/code

That was inspirational

I did five 10-day courses and joined one as a server. My first retreat was just a few months after I tried meditation for the first time. On day seven, the pain of all the sitting got so bad that after one meditation session I rushed to my room and cried into my pillow in anguish. The very next meditation session I had my first mystical experience, being in total surrender and watching the pain dissolve into just vibration. This was the moment I got hooked into spirituality, one of the best decisions to join the retreat for me personally. It can be very challenging at times, the timetable is quite harsh, but at the end of each course, everyone I talked to was happy to have joined.

That was a nice read, thank you for sharing!

Sorry to hear this, I really wish you a lot of strength, you can get through this!

Looking forward to watching! Do you still upload your episodes on Spotify as well? The newest ones are just on youtube, right?

This was the first book that I read on nondual teachings / the direct path. I would say it is very accessible and also includes easy practical exercises to get the first experiences beyond just theory. https://lochkelly.org/shift-into-freedom Loch Kelly is a student of Adyashanti by the way.

I really like Leo's music playlist! This is a playlist that I created over the years: Also, I took the liberty of creating a Spotify Playlist from all available songs in Leo's two music playlists and wanted to share for those who rather listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Lmj2C4GsPlhmsKN2ogs1k?si=1dbe71be5b424166

I get this as well when I'm by myself or immersed into my work for an extended period of time. I get too much in my head and it makes me self-conscious when I'm around people. It helps me if I direct my attention gently from my head towards my belly and body in general. Being in touch with sensations and feelings eases the discomfort.

Beautiful, thanks for sharing! Proper context and integration are crucial to the experience.

Fortunately, the trip was very positive, but nevertheless I will heed your advice and lay off all psychedelics at least for the rest of the year to process everything soberly. Thank you for the valuable input!

That was a really interesting read, thanks for sharing!