Hello!
This is kinda uncomfortable for me to talk about but whatever: I am 32 years old and never really had a relationship, never had sex, never even kissed a girl. I was basically limited (or limited myself if you want) by extreme social anxiety for most of my life since my teens. I avoided everything, even my own family for the most part, because I always felt extreme awkwardness and cringe, a deep inhibition in the presence of other human beings.
But I did work on myself and started to change, getting a little bit more social and even a little bit more comfortable talking to girls. But it's all still a fragile little plant.
I met this girl some time ago, and we like each other a lot, she is 26 but has a lot more experience than me, having had her first time sex with like 14 and some relationships afterward.
My problem is that the inexperience I have makes me a little insecure when it comes to sex. It's very obvious to me that she is ready for it, almost kinda waiting for me to make the move honestly. I don't think she would ever suspect that I am THIS inexperienced, I didn't tell her and I don't know if it would be a good idea to do so.
When I first kissed her, I was also fucking nervous, because it was my first kiss with a girl EVER! Can you imagine that with 32... She later told me that she already waited for me to kiss her and that I could have done it way earlier.
But it turned out to be quite good and since then we kissed a lot, but I still feel this barrier of shame and insecurity in me which blocks me from entering being more intimate and being more bold with her.
How would you navigate this situation? My fear obviously is that I will disappoint her or embarrass myself and then lose her. I mean the experience so far was worth it anyway even if she leaves me, because I already learned so much and faced so many of my fears, but it would still hurt me a lot.
