Siedah

I have two - primary school age :-)

I thought about this: in-light-and -mend ☺️

going back to the initial post - because maybe ego can never awaken, it fools itself. all games and constructs - only god awakens!

okay, I have thought about this extensively and in the end i decided "there is no magic formula such as "thought attract like thought, think positive, vibrate high " bla bla... no! it is just not that simple! i spent time and energy visualising my dreams and goals, wrote them down, put them on vision boards , smeared them all over my mind and words for months.. Never happened in the way i was made believe that it would! i manifested some stuff ofcourse... we all do ! but the way "secret "teaches law of attraction is utter BS i think.. I know everything is energy and i have couple of theories where if say we were vibrating in frequencies 0-10 .. perhaps the car i want is vibrating at a 8.2 and i am also vibrating at 8 then boom! i think we are likely to manifest things that are slightly higher than our vibration or slightly lower than our vibration but never too far off. so if the car i want is vibrating at 8.2 and if i am vibrating at 1, no way i am having that thing...! Its like a homeless person owning a ferrari right!?and even if they somehow manifested it , they will quicly lose it , just like lottery winners losing their money pretty quickly .. unless somehow they find a way to very quickly catch up to that frequency . so in that theory , i beleive you can manifest things close to your frequency and if its exactly the same frequency , perhaps its a great union , a love story, whether its the best friend you had, best car you had... which may be near impossible if you were to think of things vibrating at infinity degrees of frequencies (0-10 was just for illustration purposes.) But i am yet to work out how to vibrate at different frequencies. there is no exact science there that i can see with our current knowledge.. has anyone achieved that ? And when you are vibrating in the highest frequency possible where everything is possinle which would be the god consciousness, then manifesting anything worldly would completely lose its appeal.. I might as well win a $100 mil in my nightly dreams .. :-) what do you guys think?

Had a second toad trip yesterday after 9 months! This time, I took a dear friend with me as well . Since this is not a trip report i won't go into detail of my experience, however, just to give a bit of a concept, here are some of the things I became aware of; I realized I was imagining it all, I realized I was the only thing as well as the only thing imagining it all and that there would be absolutely no difference between staring at a wall for 10 hours or working in an office job for 1o hours. Its all the same... Letting go of my self was ofcourse tough, its almost like a separation pain from the body. The pain is not physical, is not emotional, some inexplainable meta pain as most of you may have expereinced as you realise you cant hold it anymore, you have to let your ego go... Then I found what I would like to call Nirvana, It was so beautiful, full of love that i no longer cared about my physical body, infact i forgot about it completely until my mind started coming online. I didnt care if i actually died or not.. and of course it wasnt me as the ego self in Nirvana, It was "the being" that was there .. I could have stayed there in the Nirvana for eternity and nothing could be more beautiful. I came around slowly and cried and wept for a half an hour at the beauty and the immense appreciation of how perfectly normal this life felt and how intense the other thing was because i had to slip back into my human costume in order to make sense of it all! Then my friend went for it first ever time, and she had a really rough time letting go, cried, screamed, and freaked out. She couldn't let go of her ego, never found Nirvana, and just saw nothingness.. And it was awful for her, she is proper traumatised at this stage, pretty much convinced she has lost her mind.. :-( She keeps crying and saying "there is nothing, it's all a dream, I am dreaming this and nothing matters. So the final part of this essay :-) ; i started wondering, is hers real awakening and mine is not? is there something wrong with me just being able to let go easy and not think it s a big deal that there is nothing but me and that this is all a dream..I have been dreaming all this including this essay. :-) Have I not gone deep enough.. How can I just bounce back to my duality and act like all this knowledge doesn't feel heavy to hold? In short, I guess, does real awakening only come with trauma, am i missing something? Thank you in advance for any of you who may read and respond :-)

This is very valuable breaking the wall.. I think my friend will appreciate this very much .. I knew about this infinite emptiness but somehow seems i made a b line for infinite love .. hmmm ! :-) i can only imagine how terrifying it must have felt to be stuck there.. I am sorry you got stuck there 4 times and still had the courage to take that risk again. wow! and then welcome to Nirvana which makes it all worthwhile. :-)

thank you for your response Rahra ..maybe not letting go is the hell state most religions talk about since time and space collapse onto itself and it may feel like eternity.

lol! i think she actually booking an integration session with him on my recommendation .. so hopefully that will help :-)

that's a good suggestion .. that's if she can't bear the thought of going for toad again.. because she knows in her heart, her journey was not complete and that she ll have to go again at some point soon not to be stuck with the trauma ..

I really appreciate how beautifully written this ism so thank you Razard :-) .."offer your self as a sacrifice" wow! what a wonderful way to explain the route to infinite love :-) When i first started listening to Leo somewhat 6 years ago, I was like, everyone should know this, everyone should try 5meo, then realised no! talking strictly in duality terms, its a sacred knowledge and could be crushing , life-destroying, traumatising when used recklessly with premature minds! I never thought, my friend would respond like this! Now i am getting to understand she never really fully understood what ego was! this was a lesson learnt for me as well .. how many trips approx you had so far?

@Eternal Unity thank you :-) this was my second time and I must say my death was a lot smoother this time around.. When you understand what it is like to die, you are able to die easier the next time i guess as weird as this sounds :-D.

thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Short but full of knowing and wisdom :-) .. I actually read this to her today and she could resonate.. She realises she will have to go again when she gathers her self to get to infinite love which is what makes this pain worthwhile.

@OBEler thank you ! My ego needed to hear this I guess ?

@Thought Art thank you for taking the time, valuable response.”awakening in a mature mind is what you needed” . How valuable ! ❤️ I m looking after her for now , perhaps her ego was not ready as I think Leo s teachings helped us all to mature . I ll defo recommend her the book, it looks good ? @PeaceOut96 perfect response thank you ..it brings the question “is void prior or after the nirvana ..?”hmm interesting ! overal goes to show why this is sacred knowledge , really needs to be treated with caution and care!

@Leo Gura i am sorry to hear this Leo, sounds a little terrifying to be honest. I wonder how you are dealing with all this super human levels. It seems you may need some good ways to ground your self.

I met someone who has some 5 meo but he doesn't know his stuff very well! it looked yellow, brownish tint powder.. does that sound right? What do you guys use to test out what you got? Thank you

@Tahuti awh! dmt nexus is a site! i didnt know this . thank you

@Jannes seems like a lot of work to deliver to France and take it there in a hotel room... you may as well go to Mexico for a toad ceremony if you want to play it all by the book!

@Tahuti of course we do research! but seeing a few photos online doesn't always justify the details. So wanted to check ut with people who saw it with naked eye! but thank you for taking the time to write all this!! color of 5 meo seems very dear to your heart :-D

@OBEler thank you Obeler, i think you are right !

@Pudgey thank you.. yes i think you are right.. should 5 meo be more white in color? also would dmt spot kit tell me if its 5meo? thank oyu in advance

he felt people were not ready for it as it is apparently a touchy subject for many ..

A lot of them are illegal but they are quite chilled with their drug rules overall and they call it gedoog where most is tolerated and not punished despite its illegal status.I’m terms of getting 5meo, there are retreats etc, you need to do research. I joined an ayaheusca ceremony with om-mij but haven’t done 5meo there. Here is the drug law I. Netherlands https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gedogen hope it helps.

Its such an excellent idea as i think this is the main part many of us struggle with but i dont feel it should be done in the open space as rather than getting your self into trouble you may soon start seeing your favourite Dea****s getting shut one by one.. I dont think you would get in trouble your self by sharing info as long as you are not caught pushing the "buy now " button. And i also dont think police is that interested in small man ordering anything small for personal use. However, open sharing may cause bigger problems for the vendors as they are the target really.. Also just sharing is never going to be enough as you may have to give a full methodology on how to use dark net, onion, bitcoin etc. Lots of work .. Having said that, perhaps DMing each other a friendly message ? I am in the UK, i am happy to connect with others also in the UK through DM

well according to the last video, he can't know if there is another :-D