Brittle_buddha

Just Love. That is all. Thank you for this.

Beautiful report and experience ?

thank you for the heads up

@MsNobody well done

Beautiful my love... Another gorgeous remembering, reemerging. Iove you so, so much

@Thought Art beautiful

It is a beautiful substance. I haven't taken greater than 150 mg but with frequent daily encounter one quickly realizes its potency, and great potential at very low doses, for a transformational, extended (6-8 hour) open hearted support of the consentual reality experience, without the psychedelia which might hamper work, family interactions etc. I am very curious to see how deeply one might go with this novel tryptamine. I love you all

@halfknots amen ♥️

Ha.. Always seem to work the next day too. One day I will schedule a sitting with plenty of time off afterwards. Enjoy these potent echos.

Greetings brother! I also saw your reddit post. I'm the guy who was talking about the MALT. Your experience is so beautiful. Congratulations on this breakthrough.

Ha - - same! I insufflated somewhere between 14 and 19 mg MALT (bedeviled by the low dosage) and was watching the breathing with great curiosity as it seemed like there was no longer a need

This always helps me ?

Thank you !

@Leo Gura What a joy! So, could one say that this is analogous to the Kybalian statement: "All is in THE ALL, but It is equally true that THE ALL is in ALL.". Such that, while everything is consciousness, everything (including planets) has it's own consciousness? Panpsychism within panentheism?

???

Man... Gives me shivers. That "hush now" womb of undulating wonder. Newborn eyes behold the impossible. Here and there. Incredible. Perfect.

My pleasure! ❤️?❤️

Substance: N, N-Dimethyltryptamine 35 mg Setting: A comfortable beach apartment Set: Anxiety, determination and faith It's been at least a year-and-a-half since I last sat with plant medicine. I have had two 5 Meo ceremonies in the interim, in the form of toad Venom, but had felt called back to DMT. This is partly because, having merged with Source consciousness via the God molecule, I was curious what secrets and delights The Spirit Molecule still held. Partly too, however, was that I was feeling some anxiety and trepidation around traveling to the multi-dimensional plane and I was determined to face my fears. Like most people, I always experience a little pre-flight anxiety, the severity of which being proportional to the amount of time it has being since my last journey. This, despite the fact that each of my 9 or 10 previous experiences have always been enlightening, loving and profound. While 5-MeO-DMT can certainly be challenging, at break through doses there is not much more that one can do but surrender. With dmt, however, ego remains intact and the spectacle can be so...strange, within a preserved subject /object dynamic, that willingly subjecting oneself to the madness takes some courage. And so I found myself, one recent early evening, at the apartment of my son. I had asked him to serve me the sacrament, and to hold space, as I am calmed and confident in his loving presence. He has become skilled and adept in facilitation and I'm grateful to benefit from his open heartedness and expertise. After some small talk, we set about our business. We decided upon a 35 mg dose in anticipation of breakthrough, using the Healthstone system. Meditative music was started. Futons were laid out and covered with colorful fabric. Two pillows at one end. First the instructions. There will be 3 practice breaths. Slowly in, then all the way out. After the last exhale, the pipe would be brought to my lips. I would inhale slowly, coached as needed to draw more or less assertively. Hold up a hand when no more could be taken. Hold as long as possible. Repeat 3 times. Despite my relatively few dmt trips, I had become proud of being able to take the three, requisite doses with some ease before the rapid come on made any question of physiological control moot. This time was different. I slowly and steadily drew in the first breath. Immediately my surroundings collapsed as a metallic whine was emitted from the center of my brain. From the pineal. The third eye. I held my hand up, held the breath in, and all of reality collapsed around me. “What the fuck?, I thought. “How can this be”? I went in for breaths 2 and 3, each less efficient or purposeful than the previous as all hell broke loose. Something deep inside me could not admit more of this apocalyptic magic into my system. I fell back, but do not remember hitting the pillows. I am told that I was briefly speaking in tongues, of which I am prone to. In an instant I was shot, tumbling through some type of hyper dimensional portal and into a space, constructed around me, for me. The foreground became an enormous, loving, chaotic entity folding in and out of itself in impossible geometry. It’s power was enormous. It’s intentions were playful. I was immediately reminded that I had been here many, many times before. “Was this the same space as the toad”, I wondered?. “No, this is different “. The space was ancient. Multicolored but in muted hues. Shadowed at the edges. An infinite number of view ports or portals ringing the periphery like the cabin of a ship. It had the air of a great library or laboratory or observatory. It had been occupied for eternity. It was a safe house for infinite discovery and play. A halfway house between here and the final destination where ascended ancestors, guardian angels and friendly deities have kept watch over us. The whole thing was so incredible. The entity energy was neither especially male nor female. But it performed impossible feats for my amusement. I was laughing and laughing at the joy and spectacle of it all. I was aware of having the biggest grin on my face. That such a thing is possible. Here was complete freedom to manipulate reality at a whim. A playground where consequence had been abolished. Where the joy of being had been freed from the constraints of the material realm. In too short a time it began to collapse in on itself. The presence folded the tents and the lights began to go out. In the pockets of my heart, however, were left the candied souvenirs of the spectacle. A renewed sense of wonder, and the knowing of this as a safe and familiar world. I let the luxury linger. Through slit eyes I could see my son, standing silently. Holding space for me between heaven and earth. Seeing me rouse he lay down next to me and we held each other laughing gently. “Next time”, I asked him, “remind me that there is nothing to be worried about, so that I might have the courage to take the full dose with confidence, and see where the magic takes me”. He smiled in agreement.

@justfortoday :)

@halfknots

@Leo Gura ❤️

??❤️ Hi! No not currently. She had a challenging experience with plant medicine when we all began this path and has not seen her way back. I'm thinking a gentle psilocybin experience in nature may soften her resistance. ❤️

Names have been changed for the sake of privacy ---- Saturday, January 29th my son and I smoked 5-MeO-DMT in the form of toad venom I am a 60 year old man living in Los Angeles, in good health without significant disease. I am taking only thyroid hormone replacement and am not using any other herbs or supplements. I have a history of what would probably be called recreational psychedelic use stretching back to 17 years of age when I began experimenting with various substances including psilocybin, LSD, and mescaline. Usually these were taken in a party setting in conjunction with alcohol and later, often along with cocaine and methamphetamine, and although managing to shine through with some profound existential glow, they were not employed with the intent of formal spiritual quest other than that of absolute freedom. I am an alcoholic and have been sober since 1992. This includes all other drug and psychedelic compounds. Until recently. My son, Mason, with whom I share a deep connection, had also been sitting with various psychedelics since he was 16. While I was busy with work and raising his younger brothers and sisters, he was finding his way along the esoteric pathways of stoicism, hermeticism and the myriad ancient and resurgent wisdom traditions loosely aligned with nonduality. By this point I had been a rational material atheist for the majority of my life having grown disaffected and suspicious of the edicts, expectations, and explanations offered during my Catholic upbringing. This would change in a ten minute span. 3 years ago, Mason informed me he was thinking about extracting and working with N,N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT). He asked me what I thought of it and, of course, I supported him. He perfected the extraction on his own, engaged with the substance, and would frequently report back the wild details of his travels. I asked him if he thought that I might benefit and he felt that I would. Despite some initial late life trepidation, my experience was transformative. In ten minutes I was shown there is a transcendent other; layers of etheric energy beings both within and without us, up through to the source of all creation, which is not separate from us. I was shown how life was a gift we were giving ourselves. That it is a game written in light. That there is nothing to worry about. Life and death are just part of the dream. And because everything unfolds in the service of love. We shared plant medicine both together and separately until, 3 months ago, the opportunity came to sit with a team offering 5meo DMT of the Incilius alvarius variety. Our experience together was deeply profound and reaffirmed the root truth of all mystical teachings. That we are all manifestation of the One loving intelligence. And that despite our seeming struggles, we are always safe. Always peaceful. Eternal. Details of this encounter can be found in my son’s eloquent and moving trip report entitled “The Toad, 5-MeO-DMT Trip Report” After a 3 month period of integration we were called to sit with the medicine once again. I set an intention for the service. Surrender. My first encounter had been quite gentle, having no memory of the rapid come up until I was revealed as pure loving presence. This time I hoped to be able to face the unnamable such that I might lose myself more consciously into it. ---- In a short period of time we found ourselves back in the arms of our loving team. Jeremy, which also happens to be my name, Alicia, and Luna. The ceremony was, again, to be held at Luna’s warm and inviting home which sits in natural organic resonance on the cliffs over the ocean. “What do you think about doing a meditation dose to begin with”, Jeremy asked both Luna, Mason and I together?. I am always nervous prior to both plant and toad medicine ceremonies and this seemed like a good way to relax into the experience. “Just a little handshake to focus on the breathing and center the heart”, Jeremy said. “You’ll be aware throughout”. “Some people don’t feel the need to go further in afterwards so we will check in with you after a few minutes“. The sun had just set. The two great west facing windows stare like eyes, out over the steely ocean. Orange, red and yellow stained glass shards of light dancing on the surface, out into the infinite. ---- My son and I were cleansed with sage and Florida water. Seated cross-legged in meditation position side by side on soft floor mats adorned with the visage of Ganesha. As I had been served first previously, Mason would begin tonight. He was offered and received the small dose via the eclipse vaporizer in one inhalation without disturbance in his peace or posture I was offered the medicine and received it in kind. Immediately my inner and outer world became a cathedral of shadowed silver latticework. My heart quickened and I focused on my breathing. There was the knowing of a great power just beyond my senses. Ancient. Aware. I fought the urge to fall backward into it, wanting to save my surrender for the breakthrough dose. Rather than being a gentle handshake, my ego was on high alert, sensing its perilous position. I considered not continuing further but soon was aware of my son, standing, folded hands holding the medicine close to his heart and reading the prayer from the card before him. We were both to take the medicine standing and to fall back into the arms of our guides as the substance took hold. Music came up. Soft and supportive. First two deep practice breaths and then. One. Long. Gentle. Inhale. Deep into the diaphragm. Arms being assisted out and up over his head. Then, falling back into the cradle of life. There was some initial hushed busying around him. Pillows to support. Arms into surrender pose. The silence was broken by a scream. “Jesus!” Mason yelled in utter astonishment. The sound was of a man facing the unthinkable. “Jesus!. He sat up, bending at the waist and met by the tender, silent care of our attendants. Then, “Jeremy! ” Mason shouted. I froze, stunned by the invocation of the name; both mine and that of our shaman. Two more times, “Jeremy!” “Jeremy!” By this point I am sobbing softly to myself. Partly because my son is calling me and I will claw through heaven and earth to find him. Mostly, though, I am crying because I know. He is staring at the face of God. "Jai!" (victory) "Jai! " (victory) I look at Luna worriedly but she places a hand on her heart and shakes her head, no. “Just keep meditating”, offers Alicia in a whisper. In a moment he is at peace, remembering who he is. ---- Now it is my turn. I stand up, a little shaken. “I’m anxious,” I whisper to Alicia. “It's normal “she smiles. They are moving me forward with steady reassurance. “Hold the medicine between your palms and read this aloud”. “Will this be like before? “, I ask Jeremy. “Oh yeah!” he reassures. It will be beautiful. Alicia will serve. Jeremy will catch. “Hold the medicine close to your heart”. I read the prayer out loud. “I accept that the joy that I have longed for is already in my life" "I accepted the love for which I have prayed is already within me..." The first two practice breaths, then one long slow deep inhalation. “More”. “More”. “A little more”. “Good, now hold!". The features of the room become defined by the same, silver lattice energy. Then, POP! Arms now outstretched like bird wings I fall back into oblivion. I am aware of being safely caught, lowered and positioned on the ground. Then it comes. Not in images so much, but as an energetic presence bearing down fast. I begin to feel my body, my sense of self, unraveling. Suddenly it is upon me. Unimaginable beauty, unfathomable complexity, unbearable power and infinite expanse. Roiling like the sun. Shape-shifting into impossible dimensionality. It is light beyond seeing. Presence beyond boundary. It is taking me apart one atom at a time and it is demanding my surrender. There is an emotion different from fear. An existential dread. There is no previous similar experience with which to measure and compare. I have been deposited directly into the heart of the unmanifest, preconditional, thermonuclear everything generator, and unrelenting grist mill of reality. And I am resisting. It is like holding back an exploding star, though, and soon there is not enough left of me to distinguish. In a heartbeat, there is complete obliteration of self, and annihilation of all subject object relationships. I scream at the top of my lungs. A scream of resignation. An offering of energy. The final exhalation/exaltation. The acceptance of death. I am gone. In my place is a unification with, and as, all of the unbridled, roaring, infinite power of unmanifest being. With the collapse of space/time comes omnipotence, omnipresence, omniscience. Immediate understanding of everything that has ever been. And of why. Which is, of course, the expression of unconditional love. But not love as a desire. Not love as a stroll with a lover through a Parisian garden. Not even as love between mother and child. But love as a locomotive tearing up the tracks of conceptualization and judgement. Love as recognition and celebration of the glory of its own unfathomable, miraculous being. A power that calls itself into manifestation, expressed as infinite distinctions, dancing through relationships. Impossible to experience as a “me” or a “you", yet present in contracted form, as all things. Each particle of perfection plotting its path home. Sometimes this looks like suffering. Sometimes this looks like bliss. Each distinction giving birth to and informing its opposite until they meet, surrendering their separateness, collapsing, liberated in the heart. Just as we must inevitably surrender our distinctions. Our opposing qualities. Life and death. This is a gift from you to you. A game of losing and finding. Sleeping and waking. Forgetting and remembering. What is asked is the surrender of everything. What you get in return is yourself. ---- At last, fully surrendered I became it Completely free "I'm so happy" it said through me. Not as a statement of experience, but as an expression of its essence. That happiness is simply what we are once all fear is gone. "I'm so happy" we continued, "I'm so happy" “I’m so happy” I became aware that I was sobbing Fighting the urge to get up now I allowed myself the gift of fingerpainting with my mind, the details of reality. I looked into, and became my wife. I saw her goodness, beauty and strength. I saw how we had created each other and felt her love for me as real and pure. And began to weep again. I started moving in and out of all of the people I have known, friends, family, and even public figures: Jesus, Hitler and such… to know myself as them. To demystify and de-monster-fy them in shared humanness and divinity. As the medicine lay me back gently Into my body Into my life I held onto the deep knowing, that there is nothing, and has never been anything, but the one self, which manifests as this dream of doing and being. A living that can never be threatened. Always both lover and beloved, dancing together alone. “There is no power but you” came the silent wisdom “There is no power but you!” I yelled. Then two more times “There is no power but you!” “There is no power but you!” The simple truth of it was undeniable "This time I'm going to bring it back", I said, "But they're never going to believe me" “they’re never going to believe me” “they’re never going to believe me” Now back in my body, I considered my predicament. All of manifest reality, from God to God particle telescoping up and down, nested and interpenetrating through me, as me. I thought about the everyday worries that I had dragged with me into this space. "I surrender," I whispered out loud. And was released.

@Gili Trawangan