I just collided with another car this morning on my way to high school. I am 18 years old and almost on my way to college. I called up my dad who said immediately "I bet its your fault". My girlfriend left me from a 3 year long distance relationship. It feel like a part of me was shot and kill and left to bleed out on the side of the road as if its not worth the time to call an ambulance.
My Dad just told me to join the marine as if he rather see me dead then to be his son.
Moments in school i have a burning desire to pay attention to quadratic functions; however the my eye drag off to my phone or iPad.
I have tried self help, started a meditation club at my school, did cross country and track and field for 3 years, while still having friends. Its just now i am having thoughts of taking rope and wrapping it around my neck. When in reality i just want to help others with their parent telling them they are trash and garbage. They will never make it in life.
I know its my response ability to create the life i want to create. Its to the point were my brain is telling me to end the trouble; However, another side of me want to read, gain knowledge, and to help others. I am in a world fill with required results and if you take a second to breath, you will be left to bleed out. I need some advice or just someone to relate. Thanks for anyone who took the time to listen. It means a lot.
