- XF -

I might have a shadow on green. I see them as demolition agents. They have got no respect for anything or anyone that came before them and think everything should be demolished to create an egalitarian society. With the conversations I had with possible greens, They understand what they are doing but they don't seem to mind it. In a way green lacks heavily on survival aspect and are in a constant dream about creating an utopian society. a lot of these new greens are born into green background. New greens have a heavy shadow on every stage prior to them as well. especially Gen Z With that remains a question what stage am I on. I think I'm torn between red, blue, orange and yellow. I've been liking this combo.

North of India has a lot of red and blue. south of India is more Orange and green.

Okay. Copy that. Thank you.

A couple of months back I was in an extreme disagreements with my brother and the relationship between us was probably going to get damaged beyond repair. I was extremely angry at him and he was at me as well. I was upstairs in my room lying down. I knew later today this confrontation needs to happen. A strong sense of fear was making my heart beat faster and faster. I usually resist the fear and not let it control me but this time I let it in, faced it and wanted to see what can it actually do to me. As soon as I stopped resisting the fear my heart started beating heavily. In a split second it was like some curtain was lifted from my eyes. The extreme hate I had in me for my brother disappeared. Not just that, there was not even a single drop of hate or negativity left in me. What scared me the most was I was feeling the love in equal amount to everybody. It was like they were no longer special. They were the same as all the other people. I thought it was some awakening but I was in no way expecting a shift in my perspective at that time. also it seemed none of my problems are actually a problem. but it also seemed like I as a person was going to lose everyone I cared about. This experience didn't last for much long. two three minutes and I slowly got back to my earlier self. Was that awakening?

I am interested in truth. I've come across Actualized.org about 5 years back and have been a regular viewer of your contents ever since. What I am trying to understand these days is, After awakening how would the family life of the person would be? I've people depending on me both as a provider and a protector. so once I awake, If I start to feel detached from them, that will put them at an helpless situation. This thought put me at a difficult situation. I've been thinking I'd stop focusing on vertical growth and try to grow laterally. I'd greatly appreciate if you can shed some clarity on these situation.

Okay. That make sense. thank you! If you don't mind, I've one more question that came to me at that exact moment it happened. Why do I need awakening, If that means I have to accept Everything that Made me or Makes me who I am, was actually not real? I felt a detachment from everything at that moment.