Leeo_SA

@ExploringReality So lovely!!

Why? When you are dreaming, and you wake up then you know exactly, that you made everything up yourself. Why couldnt it be the same with our lifes? Why you have to judge this as narcissistic, anti spiritual and anti life? Are you feeling threatened?

@TheEnigma Thank you. Because they know of karma. the deeper the consciousness, the more egocentric you are. take a look at spiral dynamics stage red. or ego development according to Cook Greuter. If you are egotistical, then you live in the belief that you can lose something. That's why you have to defend what you accumulate at all costs. Karma is something of higher states of consciousness and therefore not in the consciousness of egoistic people. I know what you mean. I was amazed to see that too. I question a lot of things, have a higher level of consciousness than others and still wonder why it seems that other people are happier. I think that underlines what I said. The reaction of karma is not to be seen directly after the negative behavior. Because it is not time-bound, we cannot know exactly which of our negative behaviors will cause which karmic reaction. Your parents: If they torture the animals and immediately afterwards a crab hurts them or they burn their fingers in hot water, then it could be seen as a connected karmic reaction. but that's not how karma works. If it worked like that, we would probably be a nicer species. People with a lower level of consciousness do not know or believe in karma. They project everything bad that happens to them outwards. The outside is to blame, not them (although they are according to the karma set). I'm not American, but with Trump it's like this: he blames foreigners, his opponent, etc. Everyone is to blame except himself and the people who support his opinion. Is he happy? I don't know, I don't think so. I think he's trapped in a non-stop fight and flight reaction, he needs perpetual security When you really realize that bad needs to be next to good, Yin Yang etc. than you can accept the world as it is. With everything in it. If you condemn something, then you have not yet understood something. Then you need to grow in the next bigger conscious level.

@TheEnigma I used to believe that karma strikes back directly in such situations. I do something wrong, so I am 'punished' for it with karma. And this punishment is directly linked to the negative behavior. Today I think that's a human way of looking at things. Karma can take many different forms or show up on different levels that are not directly connected to the event. - Are your parents really happy? - What will happen to them in 2 years? - Or negative event in their childhood is the reaction of karma Karma doesn't have to be time bound, doesn't have to be clearly connected to the trigger (my view). All events that seem to have nothing to do with the behavior you described. Another perspective would be one that may not be directly related to karma: What's so bad about torturing animals? How do you ultimately know that this is good or bad? It's your personal standard of values. Ultimately, everything is love, everything is God. Ultimately, everything is totally balanced.

@The Crocodile How could it be possible that I know that? With psychedelics I was in another body, had another perception. But this could just have been a dreamstate or something I made up. One time I had the experience, beeing a stone. It was like a low vibration kind of thing. Please help me: I realize that those could be other direct experiences from others because I had the experience in another body or in the stone. But nevertheless it was MY experience. So when you talk about "other experiences" you distinguish between my perception and perception of others?

@strangelooper I have the impression, that you mix nonduality with duality. Duality = Table is separate from god, Non Duality = Table is god (or a part of him, a creation of him which isn't separate from himself). It just seems like a separate Identity, but it isn't. It just seems, that you are different from myself (in duality) but ultimate we are identical because we are both god. I just want to share my view of things, I am not here to argue with you or to convince you. Just find it interesting to see other views. I am curious: How are you bringing your view together with duality / non duality? When you start with solopsism, you need to be 100% truthful: You never ever experienced something outside from yourself, outside form you perception. Do you understand that? EVERYTHING around you could be fake. EVERYTHING. The only thing you can be 100% sure is, that something (you) is perceiving. That is a very Christian view of God.

How can God = everything that exists and does not exist, nothing can exist besides, create something else than it self? You use the analogy of the Rubik's Cube, fine. But ultimately, it is ONE cube. So ONE consciousness. How can you be sure that what you call breakthrough is not self-delusion and is real?

@MarkKol ok. So what do you want in live? What are your dreams? What steps do you need to do in order to achieve them? If your goals are depending on changing the country, then you have your answer ...

@MarkKol What is your question? Why do you want to live in the states when you are an european citizen? Just change to another european country like germany. Better health care, better education, better safety aso.

@Terell Kirby It seems so unreal 😆 what are the advantages of a horse apart from the fact that you don't have to run yourself?

@Sugarcoat Why? I am just curious. In my opinion, he had very traumatic experiences in his childhood which formed his toxic willpower to exceed his physical limits. I stopped reading his book after 3/4 because I didnt unterstand, why people see him as a role model. Maybe you have some other insights about him? @Jannes She was a great woman! Are you german or is her stuff translated in other languages?

@Sugarcoat take a look into this thread. You will be amazed if you dont know it.

@Sugarcoat Yes definitely. One of the most beautiful things I have learned through mushrooms is to be in awe of this wonderful reality. Although I have never been able to relate to religious people and wondered why they are humble or in awe, I now feel how beautiful and how important awe is to me. Having infinite gratitude for my existence is suddenly so important to me and I love my strong curiosity because it has led me to examine reality more closely. I believe that we will understand the world better and better. Science will not be able to avoid integrating subjective experiences (I'm talking about research into consciousness, reality, etc.). If it takes this step, we will discover numerous other supernatural abilities. Extremely exciting!

@Sugarcoat Yes, I believe that too. Fortunately, I've had a telepathic experience myself with the help of ayahuasca and Yopo: we sat in a circle, held hands and were able to communicate with each other in our thoughts during a deep meditation. We were so incredibly surprised and amazed by the experience. The next morning we talked about it and couldn't believe it. I still can't believe that I had this experience. But since then I have been more open to such abilities. @Oppositionless What do you mean by nonverbal? Do you stop talking when you're high? How did you find out that you have telepathic abilities? Did you verify it with the help of a friend who thought of something and then you guessed it?

@Something Funny I do habit tracking on my phone and short events on notion, so I have this already implemented. I know that relapses are a part of my journy to be sober but I need to take more serious action because I am struggling since more than 8 years now. On my own I managed a lot but for the last bit or if I am chronicly addicted, for the rest of my life, I need support.

I am Leo, 31 years old and wanted to start this journal for following reasons: To stop my porn-addiction To stop my self-sabotage behaviour especially when I want to work To develop a kinder relationship with myself. Which methods am I using? Introspection, self-reflection Self-Inquiry Brutal honesty Maybe psychedelics Porn-addiction: Background: I started to watch porn with the age of 12. Since then, I watched is on a regular basis. Since about 2016 I am aware of that I have an addicition, tried all kind of different method to get over it: hypnotherapy, NLP, lots of introspection, psychedelics, coaching, sexual therapy, journaling on nofap homepage aso. No method was working in the long run. Over the years, I decreased my consumation of Porn from 1-3 times a day to periods in which I consume every 1-3 days for 4-5 months followed by 3 months with no consumation at all. Addiction is a well known behaviour of myself: I smoked for 10 years straight, was drinking since COVID alot but got rid of both of them. Further I am very sensitive to Reels, shorts, youtube, social media so I am hooked fastly. My current method is following: since 2-3 weeks now I take a microdosis of IBOGA every day together with L-Tyrosin. Background: I read a nice book about addiction which claims, that it is not just behaviour failure but also a brain chemistry issue. Porn and other addictions are caused due to a irregulation of Dopamin. Iboga and L-Tyrosin should help with that. In my last LSD trip I discovered that I am not trusting myself due to my addiction. I got insights into myself that because I promise myself all the time, that I am not doing it again, and I break the promise, I cannot trust myself anymore. Being friendlier with myself and accepting myself more, would be the solution. Self-Sabotage: Since one year I am self employed as a coach in self sabotage and authenticity. Because I changed my marketing platforms in the beginning, I started all over again for the 3d time now (I accept it, bc I need to find a marketing platform which fits me in the long run). Now I am producing YouTube Videos in this field, wanted to share also spiritual content. Now I don't have cash left, so I search for a part time job. Bc I just have one month left, I had a lot of anxiety about that. But after facing this anxiety every time it came, I am no longer afraid, which is a good improvement. But I find myself over and over again in self-sabotage when I want to produce videos. So shining some light on this issue is my cause of journaling.

Because I had several relapses I choose to attain a self help group for my behaviour. Due to that, I will close this journal and continue with them. I do a journal for myself.

@Leo Gura I think it is time to delete Elon Musk from Stage Yellow 😅

Date: 18-21.1.25 Relevant incidents today: The urge came up and noticed some changes in my behaviour with Social Media and pictures of woman. On 21. I relapsed in bed (power nap on noon) and in the evening. But I dont know why. I feel strange, I got a job today. Was not really excited about that bc I want to continue my self employment but I need the money. I wasnt stressed, I wasnt in a bad mood. I was anxious of getting back to porn and so it was. Why can I see some picture and I dont bother and then if I am sensitive (however that happens) I am anxious that I fall in this trap? It is like I see those pictures with two different personalities. Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 9/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa What I am proud of: Got the job!! I can finally stop doing applications.

@James123 Here is a german group:

Date: 16.1.25 Relevant incidents today: Noting Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 1/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa, Magnesium What I am proud of: Worked through some limiting beliefs. Date: 17.1.25 Relevant incidents today: Nothing Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 1/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa What I am proud of: Worked through some limiting beliefs. Was happy today, had some rest time in between my clients.

Date: 15.1.25 Relevant incidents today: M in bed after a 1min struggle if I should or shouldnt. Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 7/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa, Magnesium What I am proud of: I worked through 3-4 limiting beliefes today. Worked for about 90min and started after that my day with my clients. Further I applied for around 8 jobs and had a great time with one of my clients.

Date: 14.1.25 Relevant incidents today: M in shower, was nice. Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 3/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa, Magnesium What I am proud of: Worked for about 90min and started after that my day with my clients. Had not so much motivation for work so I did a break in the afternoon.

Date: 11.1.25 Relevant incidents today: No self-sabotage, nothing special. Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 1/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa, Magnesium What I am proud of: Worked for about 90min and started after that my day with my clients. Had a conversation with a guy who probably is going to be a client and had an interview for a part time job, which went pretty well.

Date: 11.1.25 Relevant incidents today: There were some ads of nude woman when I watched a TV show on a streaming platform. It didnt botter me at all. Sleep: good sleep Difficulty: 1/10 Supplements: Tyrosin, Omega 3, Ginko Bilboa, Magnesium What I am proud of: Worked for about 90min, did alot of personal work and had a nice day!