CreamPastry

I've been trying to apply some of the methods that Abraham-Hicks mentioned. I'm currently reading their Law of Attraction book, and it has helped given me insight on a few things. I've been focusing on things that make me feel good, and I think I've been able to find a balance to manifesting. Everyday, I think that I'm beginning to understand how to become a better creator in my life, and I feel less anxious too. Is it strange to feel less intensely when becoming more aware? There are things that would've made me super angry if I were the same person I was 3 years ago, but....I feel less mad. I feel mad but the meaning of my anger isn't so focused... Do I make sense?

I work in Japan as an English conversation teacher, and I don't care about money, but the work is slightly demeaning if it weren't for the majority of students' being sweethearts. I ended up in a pretty bad contract deal (one of the worst schools with a crazy manager), so I wanted to try getting into a bootcamp which means it'll minimize my time in comparison to going back to university. I want to work on front-end web development. I already went to freecodecamp and logged about 100+ hours on html/css/basic javascript. I know I need more knowledge though, and I wanted more guidance, so I looked into shecodes.io. Does anyone recommend bootcamps like shecodes? I was thinking of going for the "Plus React" instead of "Pro" because it seems to me that "Pro" just includes things for: responsive, flexbox, and SEO, but I'm not sure how difficult those things are to learn on your own? It's been a while since I studied from freecodecamp, but I did work on flexbox and have a responsive web certificate from them. (If anyone here knows - feel free to tell me what should be my best course of action?) I need guidance, it's something I've always needed to motivate me, and so I really want a class and not to self-study. I self-study html/css because I enjoy making webpages, but I'm not there yet with DOM.

I'm going to try to log all the good things about life that I enjoy, so that I can create better vibrations. I usually don't like to go on Facebook and never look at people's quick videos, but I realized there's a lot of good things about them. I like how my friends are happy enough to share pictures of a random cat, or simple videos of people blowing bubbles and just laughing at them. Life feels so much lighter. Everyday, I'm going to try to post things I liked...things I want. I will also post a few of my own manifestations as I work on myself.

Thank you so much for responding. I have heard of Abraham Hicks, but I have yet checked her out. I will be sure to read on her as soon as I can (maybe even tonight). Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I honestly cried reading the quotes you submitted, and I feel like I can continue working on myself in a better light. I will be sure to remember this.

It's been almost a year and a half since I learned of Neville Goddard. I learned about manifestation and "the Law," and I've been reading the books that he published. I feel like I'm becoming better and better in recognizing the life around me. I got rid of 20 years of depression, and I've been able to change my mentality. I'm a lot more aware of my feelings and quicker to correct my old habits of self-loathing and overthinking. If I go down a route where I feel like it's inevitable, I change my thought and it feels lighter, and I feel like I can do as much as I can for myself...I can do what I can for myself. It doesn't feel hard anymore. It's still a process though because sometimes I overthink even my overthinking which makes me laugh writing this. But, there's something that's been hurting me. I discovered Neville Goddard through a man I met. We rarely talked before (we work in the same company), and he introduced me to NG because he recognized my heartbreak. I've been in love with a coworker for a while now. Maybe people can argue it's not love, but I've been smitten by him the first day we met, and he's shown me he was smitten by me too through funny behavior and overcompensations, to romantic and embarrassing lines and gestures... but he never did anything about it. When I learned about NG, I was ecstatic to find I can change this! I can bridge this gap between us, and I have been able to do that - it's just a work in process...but something's been lingering in the back of my mind. The coworker who I met is someone who's been on the spiritual path for a long time. I'm not sure what stage of life he is in, but his goal is to become one with the universe - and he feels like it'll take him another 3-4 years to reach that state and forever "be gone" from our world. I know he has more insight than I do about this universe, and maybe I will never be close to understanding what he knows because I don't show interest in that... I want to live a happy life, that is my priority. Neville Goddard said never to tell people of what you manifest as they will reflect all the insecurities back to you. Well, me and this coworker often talked about our goals and he was giddy to tell me about his, so I thought maybe it would be okay... But I was wrong. I told him the person I wanted to be with. I longed strongly for him. He's the only person I long for, I can't even imagine falling in love with anyone else. My coworker told me that we weren't good for one another. He was adamant and said that this man was a "fire body type" and I was a "water body type" and we were just not good for each other, and that "manifesting someone specific was evil." That hurt me a lot. The least I wanted to do was cause the person I wanted to be with the most...this evil. After discovering how to calibrate 'truths' via David R. Hawkins, he started 'asking Angels' if manifesting a specific person was 'bad,' and he was astonished that "it wasn't." So he told me he was going to ask why and figure out why because all his life he was taught it was. He still said it was a bad thing for me to try to be with the person I want to be with. After that conversation, I distanced myself away from this coworker, and furthermore got into a spiral of self-hate and hatred towards him. I'm convinced that I want to be with this person. I want to try to be with him. But I feel a sadness where I feel like I shouldn't because it's something that someone who has more experience than me tells me not to. But I feel bad when I do. I do try. I still try. And when I give up, I get dreams of him touching me and talking to me. I never get dreams with him unless when it's at the point where I give up. I guess, I'm not sure what to do...? How do I stop myself from hating someone who has my well-being in mind, and who establishes his authority? How do I stop hating myself for still liking this man and trying to move on? How do I stop hating myself trying to still be with him? And do those dreams mean anything? Is it okay...? Edited: I actually don't hate him, but I can tell I scrutinize him when I'm in a lower mood than I usually am...and that bothers me.