TompsterLobster

I am currently having trouble with feelings of uncertainty. This uncertainty erodes any excitement I have about getting work done. This month, I am dedicating myself full time to my own business, which means I really need to keep a clear and focused mind so I stay afloat. Furthermore, I am trying to make money so I can afford the final procedure of a medical issue I have struggled with for years. I live alone, and I am doing this alone. It's just hard to keep moving forward when there is only so much that can be done in a single day, especially when my mind is taken by fearful thoughts like "What if the medical procedure goes wrong? What if I am never healthy?" (Even though I have every reason to have faith in it.) This week I have spent about half of every day just managing my anxiety, which is really just a euphemism for distracting myself. My current plans have been well formed, and I decided on them from a very balanced place, so I do want to follow through with them, I just wish I could stay in the headspace I was in when I so confidently decided on them. How do you keep your mind clear, determined and goal oriented when the what-ifs start to crawl in like the zombies in the movie The Night of the Living Dead?

I love the idea of this. Would you mind going a bit more into detail?

You must be on government assistance.

Yes these two things make me feel wayyyy better. I just stopped doing my early morning walk recently due to poor weather, but I realize now that I probably never should have stopped. When I turn the water on cold, I tell myself "get ready to feel some bliss". Viewing the cold water as 'bliss' lets my actually enjoy the thrill of having it on my skin. To time it, I just tell myself I have to wash my whole body with soap before I make it warm again.

It is impossible for you to buy a used mini fridge online, for about $40, and buy some food to put in it? If that is impossible, then I don't know how the hell we got to the moon. lol You just need to get a bit of money going. If you have anything you don't use, sell it online. In Canada we sell things on Kijiji. You can also check the online classified ads for quick cash paying jobs. Check every day and something that sounds reasonable will come up. A task that you can do in a day for $100 or something. If you can problem solve your way through these first tricky, humbling steps, you will have everything you need to problem solve you way higher and higher in life as you have more income and stability.

Go to a large grocery store that has a butchery section and buy the meat that is 50% off. Search on youtube how to cook it, and cook it that same day since grocery stores always set their meat to 50% off when it's about to expire. It's still just as good. Also, certain vegetables and fruit are cheaper depending on the time of the year. Grocery stores also often have a discount vegetable/fruit rack off to the side for 50% off since they are about to expire. If you buy this food, be sure to inspect it first to be sure that it is still good, as places like walmart often have berries at a discount price but upon closer examination they have gone mouldy. Root vegetables, like big sacks of potatoes and beats, are incredibly inexpensive for the amount of food they provide. You just have to learn how to make them so that you actually truly desire eating them. And never be shy to add lots of butter, not only does it taste good, but often times when people start trying to eat healthy, they end up low on fats and can feel faint as a result. You want to be sure you are eating enough food overall as well, which is something people often overlook and can cause them to feel weak. All you need to make meat and vegetables taste good is salt and pepper, but if you really want them to taste good, look at getting spice blends that grocery stores always sell. One that is good on almost everything (at least to me) is steak spice. Once you start experimenting and slowly introducing spices, you will not only get comfortable with them you will get excited about them. They are like magic spells to cast on the food, that barely cost anything and can dramatically enhance the flavor. Keep in mind that every grocery store is different. Where I live, the cheap grocery stores are Walmart and Food Basics, and I only shop at Loblaws and Metro to seize upon their deals. They often sell discount premade healthy food very early in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays. Once you start looking at the stores' sales you'll start to have a good strategy for shopping at them, or perhaps not shopping at certain ones at all. Also, when you start creating your own food, make sure you create things that have a satisfying amount of salt, and also things that have a satisfying amount of sugar. If you decided you were only going to eat, say, a healthy meat and vegetable stew every day, you'd likely find yourself caving in and eating a huge amount of sugary junk food because you have been in such a sugar deficit in comparison to what you're used to. Most importantly, get EXCITED about your health food journey. It's like a hack. If you are eating far healthier than your family members, you will have a higher level of energy and mental clarity that they don't have access to, and this will have compounding effects on everything in your life. And as mind blowingly difficult as it is when you are living with your family, allow yourself to embrace the fact that you are separate from them. You have your own distinct identity, which they may or may not realize, and your own high standard for how you eat and how you treat yourself (and hopefully, how you expect to be treated). This part is probably the hardest part, but the most crucial. You must constantly remind yourself of your new identity, one part of which is that you do not settle for anything but a very healthy diet so you can be at your best, and carry it with you throughout the day, every day, especially if and when your family criticizes you. Which is quite possible as you eating healthy may make them feel insecure about how they eat, but hopefully in a way that triggers them to make healthier decisions too.

He hasn't yet found a worthy womb.

I just had a small revelation tonight, which sound pretty basic, but it is major for me. I have always been a very sensitive person, and for my whole life I have struggled with anxiety when socializing with others, particularly in face to face conversations. I just suddenly objectively realized that the reason I experience this anxiety, is because 99% of the time I engage with people, I approach the situation from a low conscious state, in which I perceive myself and the other person as some material object, both under one another's scrutiny, which of course evokes feelings of ego and insecurity when it comes to the way I look and how I express myself. The times when I thoroughly enjoy conversation, I allow myself to get lost in the energy between me and the other person, and I dance with it, naturally saying and reacting in ways that allow it to flourish. I'm just fascinated because my whole life, I have been approaching interactions like the other person and I are just wooden pegs, shooting things at each other, with nothing between us. But now I am excited at the notion of warmly approaching people as energetic spaces to feel into and to exchange with on that higher plane, rather than being triggered into a lower conscious state by the habit loop I've formed of shutting down/guarding myself right before I begin an exchange. I am so excited to begin practicing this, as I think it will set me free to truly enjoy the company of others and meaningfully connect with them, and to do away with my small minded concerns. Furthermore, this way of engaging with people will make people so much more interesting! I think this is the way I am actually designed to interact with others and I just got really lost along the way, aha. It actually makes eye contact sound like an amazing thing to me. Have any of you had or cultivated this kind of shift in your social interactions? If so, please share. Also, are there any books or videos on this specific topic that you'd recommend?