Inception

Post #42 How stubborn this illusion is.

Post #1 This is the begging of a new phase and thread. For now no replies please.

I've been reading about Taoist Neidan and trying to understand how its idea of immortality relates to non-dual teachings. Some say it's purely symbolic, but if so, why all the detail about jing, qi, shen, and energy circulation? Do you think those teachings are simply symbolic language for enlightenment or are they actually claiming a genuine subtle or pseudo-physical body? And if they are describing a real subtle body, how do you think that relates to traditions that only talk about awakening or the realization of eternal consciousness? Could they be different paths to the same goal, or are they describing fundamentally different kinds of immortality?

Post #41 The reason why spirituality stresses living virtuously is because it aids in understanding Reality. Vices like judging and lying are antagonistic to understand Reality. How you go about your life affect your sense making capacties.

Post #40 To undertand what the matrix is you first have to exit the matrix into Reality, then you'll understand in one fell swoop both what the matrix and Reality is. Until then you're like that fish in water, who doesn't know that it's in the water nor what's outside the water. For this you have to leave your comfort zone, because the matrix is your comfort zone, which you don’t want to do because it's uncomfortable, you got Stockholm syndrome and you've been institutionalized. It's like you're in an abusive relationship, but you don't want to leave because you prefer the known even though it’s toxic.

Post #39 “He that loveth his life shall lose it, and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal” - John 12:25 I’m returning my attention to what is important: Understanding. And for that I have to lose my mind and die. So the quest from now on is to overcome myself. self - ego, identity etc. “reality”/“sanity” - consensus reality, others, earth, etc. ”life” - survival, job, etc. These are bottlenecks for my understanding of Reality and they have to go. You can either have yourself or understanding, which one do you want?

You know I’m full of it. I loved myself more than her which is why I wasn’t ready to die for her. That simple. It’s not even clear to me that I regret it per se. Such selfishness. Imagine choosing yourself over the love of your life.

If I loved her so much why wasn’t I ready to lose my mind and die for her? It wouldn’t matter if I went “insane” because I would be with her.

When I went to the psych ward I sold my soul to the devil for a sense of “sanity”. Like Cypher making a deal with agent Smith.

I thought I was Neo, but it turns out I’m Cypher.

I’ve lost faith.

From personal experience my dream was about to collapse as I was about to awaken. Leo’s awake but his reality is still intact, how come?

CORRUPT COWARD!!!

Tomorrow.

I was the luckiest guy in the universe to have you. I was the dumbest guy in the universe for leaving you. Not a day goes by without me regretting it.

Coward, I’ll never forgive myself. The regret is eating me from the inside out. As it should.

All it took was one mistake. How this could happen to such an intelligent person i don’t know.

If you saw my life back then you’d be envious. If you saw it now you’d vomit. If you saw both and the fall you’d cry.

I got your message.

HOW COULD I’VE BEEN SO STUPID. I DON’T GET IT. I HAD EVERYTHING. THIS IS NOT A MISTAKE YOU GET OVER.

I’ve been stupid, ungrateful and lazy. I used to be the most intelligent person I knew.

Ever since I left my love, things went downhill. Now I’m at an all time low. Not even those cute lows, where we say things can only go uphill from there. Worst year of my life. Going to the psych ward ruined my life.

The question still remains, if you’re awake how come your floor isn’t melting like you talked about in that video.

From “What Is Reality - A Radical Explanation”: ”If you were to fully accept what I’m saying here, and not just to accept it but to become fully conscious of it, you would have a mental collapse. Some people will call this a psychotic collapse.”

How tragic this all is.