Inception

Post #109 I just had a deep and intimate realization of my own selfishness. I’m so sorry to everyone and myself. I’m beginning to see that I’m not this poor, innocent and misfortune little thing. The suffering I’m experiencing is due to my selfishness. Karma. I will try to be better. I want those who care about to know, that I appreciate them.

Hi, this is gonna be the place where I: Journal Write poems Think out loud Personally I like twisting and turning my mind inside out. My profile is based off of the movie “Inception” by Christopher Nolan, which I highly recommend. And the same goes for his work general. You’re welcome to comment when relevant.

Post #108 Some day before the 16/12 was sitting meditating and time sped up. Some day before the 16/12 I was in deep flow/wu wei, where it felt like time was speeding up. Yesterday (16/12) I had a very profound and deep and intimate DNOFTS, where I realized that there’s nothing I can do to let go of control. I was comforted by… I felt deep compassion towards myself. Yet I went back to being selfish as though nothing had happened. %control. Today (17/12) I had another deep DNOFTS, where I was resisting until I let go and felt a powerful sense of love. This lowered my selfishness. I was left debilitated by the damage of resisting. %Control. Also today (17/12) I had somewhat of an enlightenment experience, where I realized I was just a thought and there actually isn’t anyone in the entire universe. Shook me to my core. Also w… and emotions and

Post #107 I might have experienced more and deeper emotions the past months than I have in the rest of my life.

Post #106 I’m done with femininity. Also I’m done trying to act motivated. I’m really just trying to get by.

Post #105 4+ years of spiritual work turned me into an unemployed bum.

Post #104 I don’t want to be around others and i wouldn’t want others to be around me. So i isolate. It’s for everybody’s best.

Post #103 For better or worse things didn’t turned out as i expected. Now I just want to live a quiet life. I want to make money so that I can stare out a window.

Post #102 Forget that post ^ We still rolling.

Post #101 I don’t care anymore. From now on I’m just trying to get by. That simple. Forget all my previous posts.

Post #100 I don’t do fun anymore.

Post #99 Seriousness, respect, reverence.

Post #98 I need to slow down. In a sense I’m too efficient at the moment.

Post #97 There’s no turning back, there never is. I’m going to keep moving.

Post #96 Meaning well isn’t enough. Reality will hit just the same. Intelligence is needed.

Post #95 I DON’T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING LIGHT-HEARTED.

Post #94 %Complacency, beating around the bush, vagueness, indirectness, indecisiveness, vanity, distractions. Suit up we got work to do.

Post #93 The mind is an excuse generator.

Post #92 If you aren’t raising consiousness you’re doing side quests. With some exceptions.

Post #91 I did all this to myself. I denied myself love.

Post #90 I just don’t get it.

Post #89 If I knew what was in store for me I think I’d just done it.

Post #88: Sanity I don’t consider myself sane in the usual way anymore. Don’t worry I’m not a danger. The funny thing is the more you study your own mind the less sane you’re made out to be. Of course that’s because what will be revealed to you is that everything’s an illusion.

Post #87: Doubling down I’m doubling down.

Post #86 Doesn’t feel like my life anymore.