Yeah Yeah

@fopylo Maybe you don't require respect, maybe respect yourself ... and don't get too involved with others so that they can make anything too personal, kind of like leaning back with a good hand in poker, and when they say something, look them in the eyes and say exactly what needs to be said, no matter what it might be, ask them why they think its funny to say words you don't like, and continue this habit, practise getting right to the core of how its making you feel and communicate it with solid boundaries, begin developing those boundaries, even if you need to cry either in front of them or in the background, or you need to laugh with them or laugh them off, I don't know how you'll react, although developing emotional boundaries may help and communicate these boundaries so its obvious with continual practise, Just a suggestion, correct me if I may be wrong, my other suggestion would be to hang out alone until you make new friends, but I'd do this and then with a stern attitude believe it or not the bullies would recognize they're projecting their own ugliness onto me and I'd communicate it verbally until they gave up or felt embarrased to a degree around others, and if they don't care, still, maintain your boundaries, respect yourself, stand up for yourself how you'd like someone to stand up for you, Some examples, don't give the power into someone else's hands so that you're powerless, your survival doesn't depend on them either way, so if they dislike you in the end of the day then you'll still be safe to see another day most likely,

@Preety_India ?

It does become tricky dealing with someone who's not completely present and not properly playing the social game everyone else expects to be played, or at least not even putting in enough effort to correctly socialize like everyone else and contribute to the overall family and community they're a part of. Taking care of oneself is important, I personally put waaaay too much on the line for someone who played mind games and would steal belongings out strangers cars, become gay for drug money, and cut himself always creating spiritual rituals to become possessed by the evilist spirit available, I can't remember its name, but he'd cut himself and all sorts of things, even creating distance was hard, he'd ask me to dig up graves to find cartel money because he became fasinated with the drug shows on Netflix and tried to persuade me there were treausres hidden in people's graves, and I'[d say no but he'd persists and that'd piss me off, somehow he'd sneak into my house and bang on my bedroom door high and asking me to go out and buy him more drugs, haha, anyways, this is interesting, probably a lot harder if interms of it being a close and beloved family member, he'd start punch ups with his dad and draw schitzoid symbols all over his bedroom walls, Great kid from the start, too, lives in an amazing house, great family, was employed and interested in studying, I worked with his older brother, us three always went to cinemas and all sorts of friendly events around the location, but yeah, Interesting insight here, does have a peculiar effect on those associated with the person going through a challenging time of sorts, yeah, But then again, I question, too, if they're right from their point of view,

@Emotionalmosquito ?

@Barbara This is like the Abraham Hicks teachings - to first move towards a desire, you must first feel good, you can't feel bad and move towards meeting a woman, the good feeling must come first and then move towards meeting the woman - Which is close to what you're saying here ... Except I've found this to be hard, especially if you're knees deep in a problem, feeling bad about it, and then you must first learn to feel good in order to finally get what it is that's been missing and making you feel bad to begin with - Making that flip can be frustrating - Not just that, but what you resist persists, and so are you meeting a woman out of desperation, or out of a good feeling place? Abraham Hicks teaching over the years frustrated me, and I'm still a virgin after 4 years, and its been a somewhat mind game, I'm just saying, haha, I think you're mirroring Abraham Hicks teaching for example, although that switch may be difficult if you're drowing in the problem,

@flyingwhalee Understood, I love this forum because I can be honest and others are wise within this community of shared interest so as to share their points of view, too, so that I can then adapt with a clearer outlook, (I hated the reddit communities and the other spiritualist's don't have forums like this one except maybe a fan made Abraham Hicks or some social profiles available). Anyhow ... I somewhat relate to this man's feeling of being left out, and I'm sure it fluxuates where he feels bad one day, and then the next he knows why he's a virgin and there's perhaps a secret good intention behind why that might be - I know I have a secret good intention, perhaps, which is to protect myself as well as the freedom to be innocent and focus on myself almost whole heartedly, hence joing actualized.org or other communities of interest like hobbies I seek out to connect to, and it probably helps without a woman involved or potential children or marriage to the wrong person due to the woman's looks and not coming through it successfuly and eventual divorce, I'm interested in Op's genuine reasons why he think he is a virgin, I'd be interested, Thanks,

No way, I think I'd contemplate killing myself, too, if I'm a virgin by your age (personally, I'd feel just the same myself), I'm a 25 year old virgin and so far I've experienced Hell and almost daily misery, I now live on Mum's sofa, I laugh at my predicament (typically laugh cry daily for the past year and a half or more), and to believe things will get better isn't living in the present moment - Life is a giant mind fuck from what I can gather, sure, at this moment you may feel miserable, and then tomorrow everything may make sense and you'll feel great, perhaps after a meal, or finding out there's a new Spiderman film trailer, or the release of a favourite video game remastered ... but deep down there's a sensation as if everything is wrong, as if everything is pure chaos and there's no amending it and the only possible answer is to die - and now you realize that to finally die you must wait, slowly, gradually, and until then you will resist, and you will go into death with a build up of depression, regrets and continually questioning suicide, Sorry, I'm 100% a nihilist at this point, and I'm a 25 year old virgin, I've lost heaps, gone through betrayal, and now I'm a fish caught between two rocks flapping away ready to kill myself - I mean why pretend to go on if you're eager to die, because I'll mess up the whole social game, EDIT - Ignore my nihilist advice, Leo makes more support than myself, and some other replies ... But could you respond to myself if you're still alive as to why you're a virgin from your point of view? Maybe I'll relate, thanks - And be completely honest with me why you think you are a virgin, thanks

Edited, Thanks eveyone for the responses, I've found them helpful for changing my perspective, and I think its excellent because it almost feels like people are sitting with me discussing something that's been in my chest and unsure who to talk to about it, thanks!

Lol, I get this sometimes, maybe look at a blank wall for an hour or nap? Lay down listening to an audio book or podcast about a topic you find interesting and then go for a walk, cook a meal and so forth,

@Leo Gura I was going to go through that self-development route, too, haha, although I instead socialize around town when grabbing coffee for example. I experienced for myself, to an extent, the finite illusion I imagine to be myself as a human on a speck planet - Understood, too, how I won't necessarily drop the selfishness for survival purposes, perhaps, Thanks for the talk ! Actually obtained a fresh perspective on this interactive forum,

@Haloman My god, so inspiring dude, thank you, may never have found this alone, I'll continue on the road towards self development, I'll continue taking care of my diet and business and health, I'll invest big time in my hobbies, YES

@Haloman Excellent prespective, although I somewhat feel some way towards women that this be their predicament, although perhaps technology will allow them to I guess stay younger above 30 (and feel younger internally), same way humans may extend the expected dying age from 60 up to 100, or maybe they don't really care, I don't know atm, This video is somewhat what I'm looking for to adjust myself into more aligned prespective, and a few others pointed out its not too late, and yeah, Leo's content also helped me to consider my depression which crops up in the evenings to perhaps be miniscule in comparison to the larger picture, I don't know, anyways in my opinion thanks for sharing an intriguing video

@Leo Gura Evening Leo (from Australia) Brilliant interview today ! I have a few hours remaining due to work, I'll keep this advice in mind, personally I don't drink, and in your interview you mentioned you'd go out and party and stuff and it frustrated me because I'm opposite of that to a degree - Anyways, you've clearly had experience, and your response that I don't need money is motivating, I've read Mark Manson's book called Models multiple times, and still not a lot of tangible success, but maybe it is overrated (except its in music, movies, t.v. and port easily accessible), I gotta get out there ,,, Thanks for taking time out to respond, I think the ability to make posts with a collective community is extroadinary unlike other interesting spiritualists I enjoy following, but all fasinating, I also have one question but no response is cool, infinite intelligence may eventually provide an answer, Alan Watts says we're all selfish, and its powerful to acknowledge that, and to try and not be selfish is still a selfsih motive, I've heard you discuss selflessness, and I 100 % get what you mean when one might become that and slip into infinitity as such, fasinating, but this has been a question if its really possible to be selfless, or maybe you mean selfless as in not having a self, therefore I guess becoming 'nothingness/love' so fasinating !!

@Preety_India I just now made a girl laugh behind a closed door, that felt amazing, See this conversation, if I could find something like this when going through those 2-3 years, I'm sure this would have been great, someone to talk to outside the family perhaps, not so much a therapist, instead I've watched endless youtube content from Teal Swan, David R Hawkins, Ekhart, Alan Watts, Ram Dass and many more, as well as books, and it feels hollow after some years, unlike a real person, perhaps, though I enjoy alone time, Anyways, the core of this post was really to shift past traumas as I did discuss but crossed out, which I'm aware mine aren't the only ones, and to ask if being a virgin at 25 was anything unatural as a man, and why people assumed I'm gay or if I can any longer afford a relationship or wait until 30 and sex was overrated, I used to be extremely peaceful (maybe a little passive aggressive? Because women didn't express interest in myself even though I had a nice car, fresh clothes and lots of money saved due to hard work between high school classes) but I was peaceful enough that my Dad would complimented how I never get angry - My mental ward friend (I became his friend from work to strart a youtube channel and clothing company back in 2015, but his drug habits were subtle eventually far more dominant) ... I did have a serious weed addiction which I finally conquered, and resisted the heavier substances as ways for escaping problems I didn't know how to overcome alone, Yeah, in lectures, or books, or even business aspect of my life sex crops up and I question if I'm missing out, and question what it means to work/play, and you judging myself to be lazy just because I smoked weed (while others drink alcohol) aggitated me to a degree, Anyways, I'm hearing what other have to say, and especially reconnecting to Leo's content the past week and discovering this forum where I can communicate with like minded people doesn't feel so hollow as watching Alan Watts, Teal Swan, Ram Dass, Ekhart, even online alcholics anonymous content just in case (I don't drink but women I think do? See I don't know), I can read about it and work, but there's never been real substance to the unmet need, and finally I can communicate it with folks that may listen, and its cool because Leo replied which is something new, again, a forum to interact with someone I really do appreciate listening to and think is fantastic for making such deep conversations about topics not many people may agree with, I don't know its fantastic,

@Spideymon77 I can relate, thank you, I was judged by the other response but to this I can actually relate to, I stick alone because I work all the time and likewise I'm not completely interested as I have projects that fasinate me far more ... but sex crops up all over the place and it aggitates me for reasons I yet not comprehend, Not so alienated or far off, take care! Infinite love,

@Preety_India DO I KEEP WORKING??? WHY THE FUCK AM I THE VIRGIN IN MID FUCKING 20s IS THAT FUCKING NORMAL IS MY FUCKING QUESTION, literally in a video I just watched, Leo said he met many women at a younger age than what I am, and hence my frustration and this post, I was extrememly suicidal dude, like almost every nights for many months earlier this year I'd sleep with a rope around my neck I'll delete these replies after I accumulate enough responses from various folks, if not I'll eventually delete the post entirely and go meditate for an hour and sit with the inner emotions, Dude I literally paused working on my projects to respond to you, calling me lazy, working for the past hour and a half, and before that I ate dinner, and I've been up since 4 a.m. looking for employment and working

@Preety_India Look, I've literally only had YouTube videos to cope with grievences on many levels - I am literally a workaholic, I don't play video games, yes I did smoke weed daily to cope with father's passing, or the divorce which made my father suicidal, or to cope with full time study as well as working part time at two seperate stores, and to cope with my mother who was more interested in selling Dad's belongings after he'd passed ... and my best friend all while this occured was in a mental ward because he got into the heavier drugs to which I SAID NO, I SAID NO, alone multiple times, I said no not just to cocaine but numerous other substances he'd experiment with, and he never payed me back and he'd steal money, I quit weed and cigerettes alone, eventually, and for some reason women wanted my best friend who met multiple women and I was the virgin going through challenging times and working extrememly hard, and he'd call me names like I'm a loser, and no girl is ever going to like me, my dad accused me of being gay, women accused me of being gay, I'm frustrated bro, extremely frustrated inside, I WORK BRO

@FlyingLotus Thanks, I didn't mean literally chads and staceys, I'm just unsure with sex in music or t.v. and literally everyone around me in relationships and I'm a workaholic book addict studying freak who's infatuated with my hobbies, and literally 0 women, none, nuddah, so I was seeking advice from men who might suggest sex is overated and my feelings are valid but nothing to stress over, I've been somewhat suicidal in the past, but Actualized.Org has added the cherry to all my research that such depressive episodes are quite miniscule I think to a grander design, I don't know, unless I were to kill myself haha but like Alan Watts asks, Is life worth the candle? If so, then proceed the gamble,

@Preety_India You can clearly see a lack of boundaries from a single post? Well shows I'm wasting my time expecting any advice from yourself - I literally work all throughout the day, I'd work on a business with my father, I worked multiple full time jobs and studied full time, 0 women and now its collapsed and I'm just coming out of the hardest period of my life, still a virgin and readying myself to rebuild from the ashes having tackled numerous addictions and betrayals all on my own without anyone I could trust at all,

@Preety_India That's a harsh judgement, I'm actually doing the best I can each day, getting up at 4 am each morning, not touching any form of substance except coffee, having quite weed and cigerettes, I eat extrememly healthy and I repair my car to get around to libraries where I spend each day now striving to hand out resumes and start a business I am extrememly passionate about but also extrememly lonely, I don't necessarily want to slave my life away without ever connecting with someone, my only friend tried to tempt me into cocaine during my father's passing and parent divorce, but I tried my best to support him but his mind games and inability to reconnect with reality would really mess me up all the more, and I had no one to talk to and disliked my mother after she spend my savings on her divorce bills and hated my brothers who abandoned me during housing inspection which I took care of alone when I could have continue studies right near the end of the semester which I was doing well at but messed up and tripped over into failure towards the final weeks when forced to move out in less than 2 months instead of accomplishing full time study, No love, no one to talk to and my bitter horny self while literally my parents after their divorce immediately found new relationships right away and accused me of homosexuality which wasn't accurate,

Idk how to delete this response ...