Yeah Yeah

Hello, So I have never been with a woman, and the pain of being this age without even having had a girlfriend can almost be crippling - I don't want to walk around suicidal depressed rage in case it attracts negative experiences in my life, which it has done, as for example my ability to focus is diminished almost to wanting to die - So 27 feels too old to be a virgin, and over the years I continue to bottle down these hormones, but sometimes like once a week, or every two weeks the bottle pops open and I contemplate ending my life ... If I do not ever meet a woman, and thus never have my needs met - I must know Leo, am I fine to commit suicide? Will there be reprecussions on the other side? Or will this free me from this internal torment - Do I have the right to feel this suicidal rage being my age and having missed out ... I am near to 30, nor do I know how I'll afford marriage, or if marriage will destroy me anyways - Can someone tell me why I should not just end it? Thank you Please, this continues bothering me and as the days pass the rage continues and I do my best to live more positive and light hearted, but still - Why don't I just end it? What keeps me alive Leo - I mean did I choose this life or what, can I choose my next life where everything is easier and better? Why is this life on such hard mode with a mind of its own going some direction ...

I may even dare to say that you truley do not actually want a direct answer to the question you are seeking, maybe you are shy of it actually - Otherwise this is all mental masturbation you are indulging in like a philosophical strip tease

@integral Man you have said it so well

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You know dude, I like to reflect of Shakespeare's Hamlet "To be or not to be is the question." as the character wrangles this exact question. Or even the first sentence of The Myth of Sisyphus which states the essay's purpose: ''There is but one serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. '' by Albert Camus a nobel prize winner in literature - I personally believe there isn't a sort of negative reprecusion or torment, or damnation, or a sort of punishment for suicide; but I do consider maybe you do exist for a reason which may yet be realized

@TruthFreedom Maybe you haven't convinced people enough in reality to actually break out the dream - Maybe you haven't gone all the way

@Exystem The characters of those dreams are inspired from real life - What dreams do babies have with minimal life experience to create characters though

Dude did you really use ChatGPT or AI to write these answers for you bro ... like you haven't actually read their works and concluded in your own words and contemplated thoughts actual insights to what they may have actually said? I hope this isn't AI or you lose credibility from me on this one dawg

The major question to this problem I sense comes down to: To what extent of the words do you mean that people may or may not exist ... Because people seem to have minds of their own; nor can you decide to make a billionare contact you in the 3 months to transfer money into your account; I'm sure a lifetime of meditation or magic LOA will not allow this - Or could it? But would that time be too much for what it is worth ... But it'd maybe prove a point in the end. If you cannot 'mind-control' others; then maybe what you mean by others is like they share some universal substantial energy as yourself (conciousness as an example; or simply brains and hearts and similar sensory organs) I mean you and other came from sperm and eggs, everyone has eyes and mouth, emotions and thoughts, and it is all alike - If aliens visited Eartch, you'd all look alike essentially anyways ...

@Some dude on the net So you aren't afraid of death? Like if you supposedly did not take the meds and one week later death was to struck at the irreversible turn you'd be fearless? I am interested to hear your answer to this question, sir

It think its like pure awareness but nothing is tricky because it isn't nothing, or void, or nothing or any word ... same with the light at the end of the tunnel - It wouldn't be light, or bright, or transience, because these are words made by humans in finite minds constructed through evolution and society - It'd be beyond words - So I wonder if death is pure awareness afte dropping off this dream body finitude

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Leo recommends try dreaming horns and instead created horny Maybe you are the dream and not the body - So the dream then wakes up from the body of life - This is a sort of joke mind you

Maybe speak to Open AI Chat GPT with some of your deep thoughts too, I find the tool helpful in reflecting complex discussions. It is patient, well read on various philosophies and subjects, and is quite understanding on an indivual's level too - Hope this may shed additional light on your deep philosophical questions.

Note taken apologies @LoseYourvelf @martins name

e.@martins name@martins name

@LordFall FOMO is for sure me dude like I release suicidal rage bro but fucK being an old virgin someone please chop off my head seriously

Yeah dude so why is none of it in my own life like at all what is going on

@BlueOak Thanks dude - I'm thinking to go to the Gold Coast tomorrow and maybe attempt socializing and chatting to some women casually and check for venues or potential party locations to dance or karaokie - Wish I could go with mates but I'll attempt this alone if I can step away from weed which I smoke which medicinalized my inner wounds Wish I could get over being depressed and laugh and be playful and joyous more often and not stress overthinking negative emotions which is probably ruining my health and potential to actually live the best version of my self I can in every moment FUCK

—The statues are in the museum.' —No, they pursue you, why can't you see it? I mean with their broken limbs, with their shape from another time, a shape you don't recognize yet know. It's as though in the last days of your youth you loved a woman who was still beautiful, and you were always afraid, as you held her naked at noon, of the memory aroused by your embrace; were afraid the kiss might betray you to other beds now of the past which nevertheless could haunt you so easily, so easily, and bring to life images in the mirror, bodies once alive: their sensuality. It's as though returning home from some foreign country you happen to open an old trunk that's been locked up a long time and find the tatters of clothes you used to wear on happy occasions, at festivals with many-colored lights, mirrored, now becoming dim, and all that remains is the perfume of the absence of a young form. Really, those statues are not the fragments. You yourself are the relic; they haunt you with a strange virginity at home, at the office, at receptions for the celebrated, in the unconfessed terror of sleep; they speak of things you wish didn't exist or would happen years after your death, and that's difficult because…' —'The statues are in the museum. Good night.' George Seferis, 'Thrush'

Like chess for example - It is so much easier to make a mistake and lose at a game than it is to succeed at pinning down a victory - Like the game of black and white who will win is (in my current opinion which is most of this venting) a silly game in life its like can't there be different rules if god is so perfect - Or maybe this is perfect though I'm a finite ego driven ape

Alan Watts also teaches to have a quiet mind - These are just venting thoughts but I do my best to avoid going too in depth with thinking these subjects else I may lose myself to potential falsehoods instead of being present in the moment god whatever that means like the present moment is fleeting like I'm just aware in a body prone to death

Death, falling apart, old age, injuries which may be merciless as I get older and weaker, losing loved ones, failures, silly ideas for success which may be nonesense social constructs I live my life to attain which probably misses the point to life anyways, always striving for the next week's paycheck or next year's goals to be fullfilled and a continual disatisfaction and uncertainty about non-existent security in the present. The set up of life enrages me - Time should be slower, no poverty and suffering but more joy than suffering, like illness and injuries which one may have to live out their lives dealing with, uncertanties and just the way we build cities because on some level nature sucks - I mean walking to rivers to collect water, eating animals on mass murder to keep living and populating, its too cold too hot, the rain sucks, the sun can kill, having to wait for harvests to grow if they do, nature disasters, diseases like idk dude I get I am somewhat fortunate to be bore in this current day and age and Country, but like any other time period must have sucked, even today some countries must suck - Idk the universe is too real and too poinant and almost going to come at you with matter that may not matter about you because eventually you die and the matter does not matter about that sort of thing as you become dust Like the large majority of people just die as if they had never existed at all - Like what the hell - I have no say except to be a moving energy towards death and then wow I return back to god perhaps but its like idk what god had planned or if god can make mistakes - I wonder like how does god know - I doubt it - There is definitely uncertainty with god and god has two faces one which is joyous and the other which contrasts it with sadness and the centre point of these contrasts is probably a deep swelling of immense love which encompasses both what could potentially not have ever been at all which is god and a strange thought and the otherside it the joy of god having existed - But idk if the afterlife is pure positive energy as Abraham Hicks or Teal Swan puts it - I think even the god head can experience immense uncertainty and the cosmos at large is an orgamisim attemtping to survive and become whatever it doesn't know itself as being but it too struggles to survive like any organisim on this rock And this survival uncertainty expanding with urgency and insecurity and probably lonliness is just how life is; if that is existence dude in a nut shell like idk will god ever figure itself out or is that why it expresses itself through us to learn about itself (Universe) for some sort of cosmic survival understanding like it too doesn't know where it is or where it came from or if it needs to survive but for some reason it does so like any other organisim

These desire are like invisible energy serpernts twining around my inner being and almost squeezing me with some sort of hormones which have no way to release (Except porn which has been painful to contain as self disipline and even almost impossible and perhaps a waste of time to attempt at all) - And I have to attend to this intensity and instead focus it on being joyous or else the negativity may cause an early heart attack - But why do I want to live past 40 anyways if I have these torments? So on some level I am tensing my heart and injuring myself because why be old and unfulfilled and run down and just about over with life and its just a down hill slope and I'm forced to be joyouse about it when I am convinced on an ego level that I am indeed not joyous about the cards life has given to me (beliefs, anxiety levels, temperment levels, emotional levels - and so forth all these particual unique mixtures I must navigate as my existence and I suck at it; failing myself; displeasing myself)