BeHereNow

@Raptorsin7 because no one seriously has racial dysphoria nor is it a real thing

Wow, not only did you prove my point but I find sentence to be very condescending too. Don't take that as me accusing you as being transphobic or anything but it just comes as ignorant and myopic if I'm being honest. Gender Dysphoria isn't some tumblr wumblr nonsense, it's an actual diagnosable condition that I have and the treatment can have positive consequences for people. There was a time last year I felt so hopeless about my transition that I attempted to go back for a while, but that was one of the worst mistakes of my life. I felt gross, anxious and very suicidal. Presenting as a male, performing in that role and just people having masculine expectations of you, when you feel down to your soul that you're a woman, it feels damn right degrading and humiliating. Yeah, I bought it on to myself when I attempted to detrans so I have no one else to blame but still, why would you expect others to go through that just to say, "they're in alignment"? Hopefully this will show you another point of view. Cheers

@Michael569 eh and you live and learn I guess ahaha

Why are you so obtuse? Do the existence of trans and gender non-conforming people take you out of alignment? Seriously, like from direct experience you can't just wish the gender dysphoria away like that.

@RendHeaven thank you my friend, I know that for sure. I'm still having withdrawals from not smoking any tobacco or weed; plus not eating junk food or drinking poison, I've quit everything at once last week to persue a healthier lifestyle. It was that bad last night I cried myself to sleep. But sleeping on it and waking up with a clearer head, I have no regrets over the ps4. Perhaps in hindsight, I should have just sold it or gifted it away but screw it, what's done is done. I still feel the relief lifted of my shoulders.

I didn't realize how much this post blew up, I took a break from this forum. I'm glad I've got people talking I guess

My love of my father. Out of all the people in my life, his love and affection has shaped me the most as a person. He and my mum split up when I was very young but he always went out of his way to be apart of mine and my sisters' lives without fail. I remember just about every weekend of my childhood we stayed at his and my step-mums and every Sunday before we went back home, he used to take us to see our late grandmother. My mother was and still is an emotionally unstable woman, so every time he picked us up it was a pleasant escape. He's the embodiment a family man, devoted father and grandfather, and to this day he's still a prominent figure in our life's. Some of my favourite childhood memories are specifically with him. Whether it us going to London for the day, going on a roller coaster together or playing local multiple player on Halo: CE when it was new... God, I feel really old, but regardless my most cherished memories include him somehow or another. And of course, there was a time when I genuinely believed he was the smartest guy in the entire world. What little kid wouldn't think that of their dad, I can assure when I found out that wasn't the case my disappointment was immeasurable but I think I got over it rather quickly, ahah. His own father was a really abusive piece of crap who left him and the rest of the family at an early age to back to his native country. From what I was told, he used to violently beat my aunts and uncles regularly and one time he poured boiling hot water on my grandmother's back when she didn't cook him a dinner properly. Luckily my dad was spared from his violence but he can vividly remember a time when seen my granddad beat one of my uncle's so viciously that to quote him directly, he seen the Devil in his eyes. I think because of his traumatic childhood (he also grew up dirt poor and there were times he went to bed hungry) and the fact his own dad was never there after that made him make sure he wouldn't do the same with his own children, and he's done a fantastic job. I can't fathom how important he is how is to my life. I'd say half of my development as a person came directly from his continuing presence and devotion as a father, without him I don't I would be nearly as well adjusted and emotionally stable as I am now.

Eh, it is what it is. Our bodies barely belong to us when we're alive, we're home to a countless number of bacteria and microscopic bugs that are there whether we like it or not. Cancer and infections don't need consent to spread, they roam freely without giving a damn about the concern of the sick person. I mean it's not just the body either, you really don't have any control over people's perception of yourself, not just in character but whether people will identify you as something you don't see yourself as, by accident or deliberately. So getting caught up being turned into dust or eaten by creepy crawlies after you die is a pointless endeavour when you barely have any control now. Also, the mind can whip up the most horrifying and lovecraftian depictions of death and the process of dying because there's no limit to its delusion. It can even turn something as peaceful sounding as Eternal Oblivion into a Godless nightmare. So being a dead rotting corpse might not sound as bad you would think.

Consciousness can imagine absolutely anything and everything, even the limitations it places upon itself and the special effects in movies. You have little idea how deep this rabbit hole goes.

Perhaps not the usual type of video request but it'd be interesting to see Leo explain what non-duality and God are to Vaush and hid audience

Hypothetically speaking, would it be overkill and unnecessary if one did 3 hours a day?

I managed to watch the whole video before it got deleted. What Leo said is nothing new to someone who already knows this stuff, he covered stuff I already figured out on my own, but it's very controversial to someone who's new to spirituality. I can see imagine some unhinged lunatic twisting Leo's word and doing something dangerous to themselves or others if they were inclined to do so. I'm glad I watched the video but it was the right move to take it down.

@Peace-and-Love thank you very much for the kind words! ??❤️

@DManKee hello! ?

Living as a human and survival is a very impractical way of God manifesting itself. Just say I died tomorrow and all of material existence collapsed around me. There's nothing but my consciousness and infinite power to manifest anything imaginable. I honestly don't think I'd want to reincarnate into another human or certainly conjure a planet full of them. Sure, from the POV of God all human beings and their behaviour are perfect and flawless. I understand that and I've even became directly conscious of it a few times. But practically speaking from a biased pov, we're very flawed and backward enough to constantly pollute the environment and cause an unnecessary amount of suffering on people and other animals who don't deserve it. While we're all alive and on our two feet these serious problems need to be addressed and solved, but once I'm dead and infinitely conscious, why would I give a shit about Mankind or planet Earth? I wouldn't have any real attachment to this world anymore and the idea of reincarnating as another human in this time or another would seem like I learned nothing from this life. This isn't meant to be some sort of misanthropic rant about the evils of Mankind, I just think the we are naturally flawed creatures and I honestly think there's some sort limit to our understanding of reality, even with awakening and God-realization there's also something a lot more than any of this. Most people would find it blood chillingly horrifying to let go of being a human or living on planet earth, but I think I'd be okay with it. I'd want to be a higher intelligence than this. Does anyone get what I'm on about or am I looking at this at the wrong angle?

@peanutspathtotruth@peanutspathtotruth Those are some interesting points of consideration I was blind to, I'll take a look at what Abke has to say. (I dunno how to get rid of the quote box my apologies)

Here's the secret they didn't tell you: You do. You actually do. You assume you're some simple human with no control of the world beyond your skin and bones. Anything outside of that you chalk it off to chance and chaos in a dumb and lifeless universe. But the notion of a controlled body/uncontrolled universe is just an illusion. Your ego can't manipulate reality thanos style the way you want it to because it can't even control it's own body. It can't stop a finger from being lifted and it certainly can't stop cancer from killing you, if you're unlucky for it to mutate and spread. Really, the 'you' I'm referring to that's in control of everything is God. From your heart beating, every any colony on Earth to every rotating planet in the galaxy, that's all the product of your own mind. It's something you're doing right now at all times and places, constantly whether you shine awareness on it or not. For a few brief moments in time I've became directly conscious of this very real possibility. Everything synchronized into one flowing motion, from the sunsetting to people walking in the street. It doesn't last for long, but gosh it's a beautiful experience everytime. Just a feeling of awe, joy and acceptance. It's a cosmic dance. That's my take on it anyway.

In recent times I've found myself in a rather depressing state. Let's just say I'm generally in a rut and my relationship with my family isn't so great, borderline toxic. Today of all days just got to me, I was an emotional mess and just felt awful. My mind was cursing awakening as some twisted joke just to torment me. But a few hours have passed and I've calmed down considerably. Looking back, it makes sense why my consciousness would conjure these problems for me, no matter how emotionally taxing it might be. If God didn't trust you to figure problems on your own, you wouldn't face any problems at all. That's the angle I was missing, the universe has faith in me to sort out my own bullshit.

Dear you (someone who'll never read this), Yes, I understand you've had a rough upbringing and been through traumatic shit. Yes, I understand that your family are distant from you need them the most. Yes, I understand that you're really lonely and need a friend to be there. I completely understand why you're in the current situation you find yourself in and I can feel your pain. I know deep down you mean no harm to anyone, I know you have a heart of gold. But my friend, you are too much. I can't be your baby sitter everyday, I don't have the time or energy to do it. I don't find you that particularly interesting as a person, you don't really engage with me when the topic of discussion isn't about yourself and you don't respect my space or privacy at all. I tried being honest with you before, but you never like what I have to say. Any reason I give you'll try and work yourself back into my presence. You take my need for solitude as a personal insult. I can't be your friend. I wouldn't have minded being around if you respected my own time and space, but you don't. There's not enough time or patience to deal with you. I'm already busy sorting my own shit out, I don't need you around making things even more stressful. I'm not going to respond to your texts or calls anymore. Yeah I'm going to ghost you, it's a shitty thing to do and yeah I'm gonna feel bad about it. But I really don't want you or any other needy people in my life anymore and I'm not going to say sorry about that. In no uncertain terms, fuck off and leave me alone.

God awakened itself and became a spiritual teacher so it can further awaken itself again. It has no preference as to what guru it will appear as, whether that might be Christ, Leo, some monk in a cave or some homeless guy ranting incoherently. It's a loop that never ends.

Would it be possible for one to have lived in the very, very, very far future and then reincarnate in the modern day? After all if everyone throughout time is just an avatar of God then why would it matter what order you would reincarnate in? I ask this because I had a strange mystical experience quite a while ago I couldn't put into words until now. It was basically realising I was living in the very far future and past simultaneously, relative to people at the polar ends of history. The idea of a present has vanished for a time and it was like I was living in an era that was incredibly ancient. A lot of things at their core felt mysterious or even unknown at their core and I had this cheeky nihilist voice at the back of my head that kept reminding that all the movies I watched, the games I played, the music I listened to, all the history I know and all the people I've ever known will all be gone and forgotten. I didn't fall too far into the nihilist trap but it did shift my outlook on modernity considerably. Afterwards I started paying more attention to consumerism and marketing of all things from a more neutral point of view. Corporate logos, brands, mascots and even some aspects of meme culture began to feel more recognisable from places and times I've never known but nothing changed about them. Companies and brands are so good at making themselves so recognisable today that it wouldn't be out of the possibility that people still recognise what the McDonalds or Disney logos are when our civilization is all but forgotten. Could it be I was someone who lived in the very far future who seen the marketing that still survived and wondered, "what would it be like to be someone who lived in the times when people drank coca-cola?" I know fundamentally only I can answer the question, but is there any other accounts of people tapping into past lifes that occurred in the far future?

I mean, if people weren't so worried about the near future we would have went extinct a very long time ago. Survival isn't a joke, none of us would be here if our ancestors weren't concerned about eating or keeping warm. Humans will still think the world will end in their lifetimes when we're colonizing the galaxy. It's in our nature to worry about the future. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I guess a part of my ego doesn't like the fact that I want to be a woman. It's something I've always struggled with. My mind will throw anything at my attention to dissuade me from transitioning, fears of rejection, discrimination and violence don't come from nowhere. It'll even try and convince me that I'm deluded and mentally ill, or that my supportive family are secretly ashamed of me. It doesn't help either that transgenderism is one of those hot button topics people love to have an opinion about, I'd be lying if I said the constant media sensationalism doesn't tire me. I guess all it got the better of me. I couldn't handle the stress of it all and I briefly went back to living as a male. Relatively speaking life is a lot easier and less stressful, no weird looks or being laughed at by strangers. Life then on would have been a lot easier, but it would have been a miserable one too. People like to say that the route cause of transgenderism lies deeper than just wanting to be the other gender and I assumed something traumatic or something in the brain that must have happened that pushed me to transition but honestly, I think the actual route cause of it is that I just want to be a woman. That's it. I don't want to be ashamed of myself anymore or wanting to be happy. No matter what anyone thinks, I know what's true. I forseen the rest of my life as a male and it would have been self-inflicted misery for no other reason than conformity. I deserve better than that. I'd rather be judged for being happy then accepted for being miserable.

So, I've recently fully grasped what god/consciousness/love is and it's raised some interesting questions I'm curious about. 1 - In my materialist life, I came across spirituality after a long series of experimenting with different world views and ideologies. Atheism, both far-right and left persuasions, philosophy, deep nihilism, stereo typical new age stuff, even dabbled in Christianity and Islam. I've tried almost everything on my short time on Earth before discovering spirituality. So, all of that was an imagined path to awakening right? And if I can see it was an intelligently designed path then I'm actively constructing my past in the present? 2 - If this bubble is the only thing in existence, when I come across other awakened people are they aware they exist within me and not in their own bubble? Because if Leo Gura was awakened before "I" was, then some part of me knew what reality was deep, deep, deep down.