Random witch

I personally don't mind to pay 50/50, I actually did it a lot. But, I struggle with miser man mentality because it says so much more about him. Yes, we don't like when men use money to buy us but we also don't like when men are too afraid too take care of us. Many women see money as a tool of care, love, courtship, expression of a genuine interest in us. We do like to feel that he doesn't mind to spend money on us as a genuine kind gesture and that we don't own him sex in return. It's beautiful in man because it signals us that he cares about us but at the same time doesn't expect something in return. My advice is to date those who you're really interested in so it will be easier for you to be less miser (hopefully).

1. First of all we need to feel safe. Most of us don't feel safe in public places around stranger men because it's risky to our life/safety. 2. A woman who approaches man looks like she's desparete, or may feel like she desperate if she do so because the social norm is that men should approach women and not women men. No healthy and self respected woman would like to feel like she's desperate or that she has to chase men. Women more likely to approach men that they have some information about or they already talked before. 3. I also don't see any rational reason for a woman to approach man on the street, even if he is attractive, she can admire him from distant but from her own perspective, being the one who approaches a man makes him less attractive in her eyes. Even if he is the God of beauty, because part of man's sex appeal is the enterprise of a man.

I get you, I also feel that way sometimes. I see the world around me and it looks so cold, full of narcissists, haters, gaslighters. But, remember, you're always loved unconditionally by God, by the creator, nature, universe whatever it is. The fact that God expressing himself through you says how important you are. You are enough as you are now, and what you're feeling now is totally OK. ♥

I do have thoughts of course but I'm aware that it's not me. Same with my name, with my past, with my identity. I feel it's like a character in the game that I constructed. It doesn't belong to me but it has a function in the survival world.

As I see this (I'm a feminist) is the idea that both men and women have the right for self actualization. The right to be who they want to be. The system, for a very long time, decided for men and women what they are and what they are not. What they should be and what they're shouldn't. What is woman and what is man. Which is very toxic for the individual. Because people are more than stereotypes and limited gender rules. Which means, if a woman wants to serve the house, and be a traditional, stereotypical woman in any sense, she can if this what makes her happy, But, if it's not the case, and it's not what makes her happy, and she wants to live her life differently, she has the right to do so. Even if she does things that considered "masculine". Feminism is the realization that there's no such a thing inherent gender rules and things are very fluid. And the dichotomy between the genders is just a mind game that serve the interests of privileged group through the entire history which are men. Feminism for me is a liberation, it's a rebellion against the depressing system, authenticity, passion for life, passion to do things better for everyone and everything. It's standing on my own, being independent financially, love myself, live my life the way I want. The problem is that society makes it harder for us. When you standing on your own you're more likely to be gaslighted and attacked by those who feel uncomfortable with it (most likely men and women with sexist worldview). Those who believe that women are inherently inferior to men. You're more likely to be taken less seriously at workplaces, to be ignored, even if you're talented and brilliant, you need to work harder than any man in order to get the same reward. You want to love yourself. To feel good with yourself but society in every corner reminds you that you worth something only if you're beautiful and attractive for men. If you're not, you have no worth. Society tells you in any way that you're not enough. Which makes it's very hard to love yourself. My personal fight against the system is to love myself no matter what society think about me, is to love myself beyond my appearance. Is to love my body because it's healthy and functioning and not because it's attractive or not attractive for men. Is to educate myself, do gain knowledge, to explore my full potential, is to confront social norms that hurt me, is to tell a guy that he is an asshole if he is an asshole, is to do or not to do sex as I like and not as men expect me to do or society expect me to do, is to own my body that belongs to me only, not to my father/brother/lover/husband/public/government. Is to do with my body whatever I want, do dress as I like, to look as I like, to think as I like.

I'm not sure if this time is "The shittiest of times", But I can't ignore the fact that this time is shitty. Especially for young people. It's like society deliberately against us, focused on bullying us. We are the new lost generation.

I felt weird, I felt like I have no place anywhere, I felt like something between man and woman, like a weird creature that you can't categorize and I hated this feeling. I had a lot of rage inside me, I wanted to destroy anything. I was a bag of intense emotions. How about you?

I love your intent, I think it's very important to talk about it. I wrote few words in other tread, it might be helpful: Love women from the heart, (Love the femininity within yourself and others) try to think about what you can provide her rather than be too focused on what you want to receive from her, be less rigid and judgmental about her physical appearance, fight for women rights when you have the opportunity so you will take a part in creating a better place for everyone, accept women as an individuals, as equal human beings to you, realize that you also could be born as a woman (And also, you were a women for some short period of time), Realize that a certain woman in your life held you for 9 month in her womb (paused her whole life and put her life at risk for you) be aware to women's issues in history and society.

1: What exactly does a man provide for you? Why are men so " Awesome"? ( for women) They are object of desire, inspiration, object of investigation, intellectual interest, entertainment, feel sexy and desired, feel protected and loved, feel valuable, beautiful and admired. 2: What does make a man a creep/ scary? ( what invokes fear in woman) Being too conformist (I'm terribly afraid of men who are too conformist because they tend to be judgmental toward me), attempts to control, manipulate, gaslighting, attempts to suppress me, ignore my needs, being arrogate, being aggressive and possessive toward me, not being clear enough, envy me, being needy, act like pervert, being sneaky, hypocrite, to gossip a lot, being extremely judgmental, of course misogyny/sexism, too many insecurities, being passive aggressive. too close. 3: What is the most important thing a man can do to not make women feel afraid but safe? ( if you have to go down to one word, to the essence). Love women from the heart, trying to think about what you can provide her rather than be too focused on what you want to receive from her, being less rigid and judgmental about her physical appearance, fight for women rights when you have the opportunity, accept women as an individuals, as equal human beings to you, realize that you also could be born as a woman (And also, you were a women for short period of time), Realize that a certain woman in your life held you for 9 month in her womb (paused her whole life and put her life at risk for you) be aware to women's issues in history and society.

Wow, That's so beautiful and inspiring

I hope your mental state is better now. I don't know if someone already asked you these question but I will: What was your childhood dream? How do you think the ideal world should be like?

Even if it's sadness and misery it's still Ok, it also bulids intimacy and connection. Aa long as people don't use crying as a tool to manipulate their partners, it's totally ok to show vulnerability, we need more of this.

Are you an Italian by any chance? Your situation is very annoying, when your own father looking at you like you are the biggest criminal if you do any little mistake, when there's an asshole who do many bad things and rarely get punished. I see this a lot in workplaces when the person who do his job get punished more harshly than the person who don't. I think that your father is toxic towards you, also, your father ignores his behaviour because he afraid to confront him. Maybe try to ask your father why he rarely confront this asshole?

Emotionally intense, Easily get affected by stress, Too many ideas in my head, passions, goals that I get too confused, Traumas Perfectionism And yeah, morning routines?

@Spiral You've been very toxic in my tread, this is funny how you try to be so right and spiritual while toxicity fluids from you like a water. Don't try to spend your time on educating the whole forum, look into yourself.

If there's too much teasing it can be annoying, but again, this is only me, you can try this with your partner and see?

I'd say that she isn't a mature person. Usually, immature people have issues with crying of others. I see this a lot in red-blue-orange stage people in SD. I understand it because society taught us that crying man is a weak man. While actually the truth is that people who feel comfortable to cry are usually more mentally strong. I don't care if a man cry in front of me, I'm a "crying baby" myself. If a "strong" man feels comfortable enough to cry in front of me I see this as a victory of mine. Life isn't complete without crying, this is a crucial part of human life. This is so healthy to cry, I think that the main reason women live longer it's because they feel more comfortable to cry. Crying can prevent so many diseases. I'd say, keep crying, and move on, find a new GF, more mature and open than her she is. I love when people question gender norms and act as they believe it should be, this is the change that we need in society, we are the change. In fact, I question women norms, and through this questioning I reveal some hidden authentic parts in myself. This is so fun, scary and interesting, so satisfying to find new treasures in myself.

I agree, you can't sweep things under the rug and expect everything to be fine. If you really want to heal you have to flood things up. If this forum was too sweet without "wars", that would be a real problem.

Chemistry with two people it's not something you can put into formula. Rather than looking for sleeping with any decent girl, maybe you should look for girls that you are really want? Really really passionate about? You can't expect from the girl to put you in the 1st place when you see her just as a practice or option for sex, just a number. No matter how good your formulas are or how high quality you think you are.

I don't know there's many kinds of men and many versions of "bad boys". The attempt to put things in boxes and generalizing stuff is very pointless. The pattern of attracting mostly stage orange women in clubs isn't the same pattern of attracting turquoise women in some retreat, so those patterns are very relative and their successes depends on certain criteria, certain time, certain place and certain level of consciousness and ego development of the people involved in those.

Not all the "bad boys" are comfortable and safe, some of them just wild, exiting and kind of adventurous. I think this is what attracts more. I think it's more complicated, I don't thing that there could be someone who is ideal for someone else.

Women attraction for bad boys came from reprssion of "bad" characteristics within herself. Once woman discover her inner power, inner wild sexuality, she began to see bad boys the way they really are. Women tend love empathetic men with high EQ.

Of course there's no need for makeup and all this shit. The sad true is that we are women pushed to this shallow corner since we are innocent girls. Men are never satisfied with us. When we care about our beauty men say us not to care about our beauty. when we don't care about our beauty you judge us (harshly) for not caring about it. Then decide, what do you fucking want? We get contradictory messages from society, be that, no wait, be that, no, you should be that, etc. Maybe instead of judging women for caring about their appearance lets judge the system that brought women to be that way. It's very easy as a man to say:"Leave the beauty, you don't need this" when actually in reality we judged mostly 70%-100% by your beauty, appearance.

@Blackhawk Life is a beautiful and wonderful phenomena, with or without a partner. Just to look at the birds flying, the green grass and it's smell, the sun. the moon, the smell of the spring, of the autumn. There's so many good things in life that you can enjoy of them already, right now. Your youth, physical health, safety, those are so valuable. People are too selfish and greedy to not appreciate those. Every breath, is so beautiful and unique, so temporary, so mysterious, enigma. There's so many things to look for, to seek, to learn, to enjoy of, to appreciate.

Working for money it's not a bad thing. Money isn't good or bad. money is a tool. one can do good with it or do bad. You need money in order to survive. so don't blame yourself for "chasing" for money. You are a normal person who wants to be a live and that's a wonderful thing! In order to be alive you need money and you need a will to have money. Please be more gentle with yourself because you are very harsh. I understand that you are an artist and you want to create original things and make money out of it. It's a good idea actually. But be aware that it takes time to make a living as a full time artist and it might take years so keep working and do your best. Learn how to run a business, create a business plan, learn from artist who make living from selling originals. And take your time to learn, improve art skills, create more and more art. You sell T-shirts! That's a great start! I know artists who struggle even with that. You need to be proud of yourself! Also learn how to manage your time, I know it's not easy but it's possible. Enter those fun videos you like to watch to your schedule. There's nothing bad about entertaining yourself sometimes. Sometimes it's crucial for mental health. About your GF? Things are temporary, nothing is forever, sooner or later you'll change, she'll change and you won't agree on the same things anymore, and you'll be two strangers, and that's normal, it's OK, that's the life. I understand you are afraid to lose her, those are fears who come to you because you ae attached to her. Ego fears. Try not to worry about it and enjoy of the time you spend with her and appreciate it! Do you love yourself? I feel like you're not, but it something you can change and work on. Same about your self esteem. Maybe she the one who needs to worry about loosing you? As I said, be more kind to yourself, and not so harsh. To kill yourself is not the solution, you are probably already understand it. Life is for you to enjoy, don't make a tragedy out of it. I know that life can be hard sometimes and stressful, but life is also beautiful and wonderful You are not the only person who feels like looser sometimes, actually we all feel that sometimes. Those are feelings and as they come.... they go.